We don’t realize how much we stand in our own way, making excuses to prove we can’t have what we want. These self-fulfilling prophecies, based on our negative beliefs, end up creating our reality. And it’s a reality we don’t want. I see this play out in relationships all the time. If you think you’re destined to be alone, you better believe that’s operating in the background, affecting your thoughts and behavior… and it happens whether you’re in a relationship or not. Those subconscious beliefs go against your conscious thoughts.

People who have a lot of self-defeating feelings punish themselves. They don’t think they deserve a healthy relationship, so they sabotage their efforts to find one. They make excuses, “All the good ones are taken,” or “He/she wants someone more successful than me.” It’s a pattern. Even people who SAY they want a healthy relationship when they aren’t in one have an unconscious desire to prove their negative belief is correct (i.e. they don’t deserve it). That can manifest as saying to yourself, “See, I just blew that again. I’ll never find someone.” And so continues the cycle of the self-fulfilling prophecies: constantly producing evidence you don’t deserve, or you’re meant to be alone. But once you’re conscious of it, you can change it.

Self-fulfilling prophecies are a choice. YOU get to decide what your future is. Will that future be based on your negative beliefs, or will you challenge those beliefs and stop using them as excuses? If you say you want something, yet build evidence you can’t have it, you’re going to be constantly disappointed. Pay attention to what you tell yourself and the excuses you give. Catch it, then challenge it. The present and the future are not pre-written. You get to create your reality.