Knowledge For Men

If you're struggling with an existential crisis, this guide will help. 

I don't have all of the answers, but I've been through the ringer. 

From quitting my job to devastating breakups, to losing my father and best friend in the same month... I've been through challenges that have made me question the purpose of life and my place inside of it. 

And this is how I overcame those challenges. 

Isaac Lidsky "may possess the most eclectic resume in entrepreneurship" according to Inc. Magazine.

He played series regular "Weasel" on Saved by the Bell: The New Class; graduated from Harvard College at age nineteen with a degree in mathematics and computer science; graduated from Harvard Law School magna cum laude; served as a law clerk for Supreme Court Justices Sandra Day O'Connor and Ruth Bader Ginsburg; argued more than a dozen appeals in federal court on behalf of the United States and never lost a case; started a tech company that sold for $230 million; transformed a struggling $15 million concrete subcontractor into an industry-leading $150 million construction services company in five years; and founded Hope for Vision, a nonprofit organization that funds the development of treatments and cures for blinding diseases.

Lidsky was born with Retinitis Pigmentosa, a rare degenerative disease of the retina that caused him to gradually lose his sight. Lidsky lives in Windermere, Florida with his wife, Dorothy; their triplets, Lily Louise, Phineas, and Thaddeus; and baby Clementine.

"Try not to become a man of success, rather become a man of value" ~Albert Einstein

1. Make Your Own Definition of Success

Each and every day, we are bombarded by images, videos, and social diatribes about what it means to be a success.

Fancy cars overtake us in traffic, well-dressed men dating beautiful models captivate our attention, and the "Houses in the Hills" earn both our scorn and envy.

And most of us allow this societal autopilot to determine our goals, dreams, and ambitions.

We all want to make millions, sleep with beautiful women, and have a luxurious lifestyle, but we never stop to ask ourselves why.

We define our success by the world's standards instead of our own, and as a result, most of us are angry, confused, and frustrated.

But there is another way.

You have the power to create your own definition of success.

To decide for yourself what is important and what is not.

To create your own goals based on your deepest values and desires.

Forget what society says.

Success is subjective.

If you wake up each morning, happy, fulfilled, and full of life, then you are a success.

The only question that remains for you to answer is "What is my definition of success"?

2. Your Reality is Determined by Your Choices

If you are drawing breath and reading this paragraph right now, then chances are, you have been through the ringer.

And if you haven't, then you might want to put on your raincoat, because there are a couple of storms on the horizon that are headed in your direction.

Struggle is an axiom of the human experience.

Everyone has challenges, problems, and setbacks.

So why is it that two people who are faced with exactly the same circumstance can create massively different results?

One simple word.

Choice.

In each moment, you have the power to choose how your circumstances will affect you.

You can choose to believe that life is happening for you, that everything happens for a reason, and that you will achieve your goals and dreams.

Or you can choose to believe that life is happening to you, that people are all inherently evil and trying to hurt you, and that you are doomed to a life of failure.

The choice is yours.

But as the Knight in Indiana Jones said "Choose wisely."

3. There is No Tomorrow

Yesterday no longer exists.

It is nothing more than a series of mental projections that often occurred in a completely different manner than you remember.

Tomorrow has not yet arrived and never will.

All that we have is right now.

This present moment.

Take a minute to appreciate it.

Enjoy the next breath you take, feel the chair underneath you, listen to the sounds around you.

Each moment that we have is a gift, you must learn to appreciate it and be grateful for it instead of waiting for a tomorrow or "Someday" that may never come.

4. Reframe Fears as Fiction

In AA, they define fear as "False evidence appearing real".

And truthfully, that is all that it is.

Most of the things that we worry about, lose sleep over, and allow to paralyze us will never come to fruition.

The worst case scenarios almost never happen, and when they do, they are rarely as awful as we initially imagined.

Fear is nothing but fiction.

Every fear that is holding you back and preventing you from achieving your greatness is little more than fiction.

It is a projection that your 10,000+ year old brain is creating to try and keep you safe from an imaginary fate.

Realize this.

Embrace this.

And step into your fear and take massive action.

5. Get Congruent with Your Values

We live in a world that utterly and completely lacks integrity.

I don't mean this in the sense that we all run around lying and breaking our promises, but rather in the sense that what we think, say, and do rarely align.

Most people think that they want to be rich, they say that they want to be well-off, and then they act like they want to be poor.

People say think that they want to be shredded and healthy, they say that they want to be in "Decent shape", and then they act like their body is a playground to use and abuse.

People are rarely congruent and almost never in integrity with their values.

You need to realize that you cannot have your cake and eat it too.

You cannot say that you value health and well being and then abuse your body, skip the gym, and deprive yourself of sleep.

You cannot say that you value wealth and then spend every penny you make and waste hours on end in front of the television.

If you want to be successful, whatever your definition of success is, then the first step is to get in integrity with your values.

What do you want? Say it.

And once you say it, go and do it.

It's that simple.

Isaac Lidsky “may possess the most eclectic resume in entrepreneurship” according to Inc. Magazine.

He played series regular “Weasel” on Saved by the Bell: The New Class; graduated from Harvard College at age nineteen with a degree in mathematics and computer science; graduated from Harvard Law School magna cum laude; served as a law clerk for Supreme Court Justices Sandra Day O’Connor and Ruth Bader Ginsburg; argued more than a dozen appeals in federal court on behalf of the United States and never lost a case; started a tech company that sold for $230 million; transformed a struggling $15 million concrete subcontractor into an industry-leading $150 million construction services company in five years; and founded Hope for Vision, a nonprofit organization that funds the development of treatments and cures for blinding diseases.

Lidsky was born with Retinitis Pigmentosa, a rare degenerative disease of the retina that caused him to gradually lose his sight. Lidsky lives in Windermere, Florida with his wife, Dorothy; their triplets, Lily Louise, Phineas, and Thaddeus; and baby Clementine.

“Try not to become a man of success, rather become a man of value” ~Albert Einstein

1. Make Your Own Definition of Success

Each and every day, we are bombarded by images, videos, and social diatribes about what it means to be a success.

Fancy cars overtake us in traffic, well-dressed men dating beautiful models captivate our attention, and the “Houses in the Hills” earn both our scorn and envy.

And most of us allow this societal autopilot to determine our goals, dreams, and ambitions.

We all want to make millions, sleep with beautiful women, and have a luxurious lifestyle, but we never stop to ask ourselves why.

We define our success by the world’s standards instead of our own, and as a result, most of us are angry, confused, and frustrated.

But there is another way.

You have the power to create your own definition of success.

To decide for yourself what is important and what is not.

To create your own goals based on your deepest values and desires.

Forget what society says.

Success is subjective.

If you wake up each morning, happy, fulfilled, and full of life, then you are a success.

The only question that remains for you to answer is “What is my definition of success”?

2. Your Reality is Determined by Your Choices 

If you are drawing breath and reading this paragraph right now, then chances are, you have been through the ringer.

And if you haven’t, then you might want to put on your raincoat, because there are a couple of storms on the horizon that are headed in your direction.

Struggle is an axiom of the human experience.

Everyone has challenges, problems, and setbacks.

So why is it that two people who are faced with exactly the same circumstance can create massively different results?

One simple word.

Choice.

In each moment, you have the power to choose how your circumstances will affect you.

You can choose to believe that life is happening for you, that everything happens for a reason, and that you will achieve your goals and dreams.

Or you can choose to believe that life is happening to you, that people are all inherently evil and trying to hurt you, and that you are doomed to a life of failure.

The choice is yours.

But as the Knight in Indiana Jones said “Choose wisely.”

3. There is No Tomorrow 

Yesterday no longer exists.

It is nothing more than a series of mental projections that often occurred in a completely different manner than you remember.

Tomorrow has not yet arrived and never will.

All that we have is right now.

This present moment.

Take a minute to appreciate it.

Enjoy the next breath you take, feel the chair underneath you, listen to the sounds around you.

Each moment that we have is a gift, you must learn to appreciate it and be grateful for it instead of waiting for a tomorrow or “Someday” that may never come.

4. Reframe Fears as Fiction

In AA, they define fear as “False evidence appearing real”.

And truthfully, that is all that it is.

Most of the things that we worry about, lose sleep over, and allow to paralyze us will never come to fruition.

The worst case scenarios almost never happen, and when they do, they are rarely as awful as we initially imagined.

Fear is nothing but fiction.

Every fear that is holding you back and preventing you from achieving your greatness is little more than fiction.

It is a projection that your 10,000+ year old brain is creating to try and keep you safe from an imaginary fate.

Realize this.

Embrace this.

And step into your fear and take massive action.

5. Get Congruent with Your Values 

We live in a world that utterly and completely lacks integrity.

I don’t mean this in the sense that we all run around lying and breaking our promises, but rather in the sense that what we think, say, and do rarely align.

Most people think that they want to be rich, they say that they want to be well-off, and then they act like they want to be poor.

People say think that they want to be shredded and healthy, they say that they want to be in “Decent shape”, and then they act like their body is a playground to use and abuse.

People are rarely congruent and almost never in integrity with their values.

You need to realize that you cannot have your cake and eat it too.

You cannot say that you value health and well being and then abuse your body, skip the gym, and deprive yourself of sleep.

You cannot say that you value wealth and then spend every penny you make and waste hours on end in front of the television.

If you want to be successful, whatever your definition of success is, then the first step is to get in integrity with your values.

What do you want? Say it.

And once you say it, go and do it.

It’s that simple.

Nicolas Cole is a former pro World of Warcraft player turned entrepreneur.

He is writer and essayist, and a Top Writer on Quora. His work has been published in Time, Forbes, Fortune, Inc., The Huffington Post, Business Insider, and more. He is best known for writing true stories about self-development.

He recently authored the book, Confessions of a Teenage Gamer.

"You can't steer a stationary ship"

1. There Are Always Lessons to Be Learned

Few people consider video games to be a vehicle for learning powerful life and business lessons.

However, according to Nicolas, the exact same skills and strategies that made him a phenomenal World of Warcraft player were the exact same skills that translated into professional body building, entrepreneurship, and writing.

And while I am not suggesting that you go and become a professional gamer to build up your resume for the business world, you need to realize that there are life lessons to be learned in almost any endeavor.

Because the rules of success are universal.

The same laws that governed your success in the gym will govern your success in business.

The same laws that governed your success in business will govern your success with women.

Understand that there are always lessons to be learned and look for ways that you can apply seemingly disparate concepts and ideas from one area of life to achieve success in another.

2. Feel Don't Think

If you ever watched Star Wars growing up, then you probably remember Obi Wan's famous line to Anakin in Attack of the Clones "Feel. Don't think.. Use your instinct."

And while I am not training you to bring balance to the force or defeat the dark side, this same truth is applicable in our everyday, non-Jedi lives.

People, especially men, think too much.

We allow logic and egoic reasoning to dictate what we want (or what we say we want) and what goals we pursue.

But if you want to be truly happy.

If you want more joy and fulfillment in your life, and you want to live for your true purpose, then you need to feel your way through life.

When you trust your instincts instead of your head, you will be in greater alignment with your true purpose and your actual desires.

So drop the logic and just feel.

What do you really want? Who do you really want to become? And most importantly… Why?

3. Learn to Gamify Your Life

If you want to quickly achieve success in life and business, then stop taking it so damn seriously.

Relax and gamify your experience.

See your different goals and dreams as quests. And in order to achieve those quests, you need to "level up" by practicing different skills and breaking through different milestones.

When you begin to view your life and goals as a game, they start to become less of a chore, and more of an adventure.

How can you begin to gamify your life more, starting today?

4. You've Got to Start the Quest

Once you have created a "quest" that you are going to pursue… You have to get started.

You cannot hope to achieve success without taking action and actually taking the first step towards your dreams.

I don't care what this step is. It can be buying a new domain name, writing your first blog article, or launching your podcast.

Just do something.

Just get started.

The journey of a thousand miles begins with a single step ~Lao Tzu

5. Learn to Hustle

If you want to achieve success, then you've gotta hustle.

This applies to professional gaming, entrepreneurship, bodybuilding, and success with women.

You can have whatever you want, but you have to work for it.

You have to get off your butt, show up, and do the work.

If you are willing to do this day in and day out over the years, you will succeed.

It will not be all at once, but over time, as Charlie Munger said, "If you live long enough, most people will get what they deserve."

Nicolas Cole is a former pro World of Warcraft player turned entrepreneur.

He is writer and essayist, and a Top Writer on Quora. His work has been published in Time, Forbes, Fortune, Inc., The Huffington Post, Business Insider, and more. He is best known for writing true stories about self-development.

He recently authored the book, Confessions of a Teenage Gamer. 

“You can’t steer a stationary ship”

1. There Are Always Lessons to Be Learned 

Few people consider video games to be a vehicle for learning powerful life and business lessons.

However, according to Nicolas, the exact same skills and strategies that made him a phenomenal World of Warcraft player were the exact same skills that translated into professional body building, entrepreneurship, and writing.

And while I am not suggesting that you go and become a professional gamer to build up your resume for the business world, you need to realize that there are life lessons to be learned in almost any endeavor.

Because the rules of success are universal.

The same laws that governed your success in the gym will govern your success in business.

The same laws that governed your success in business will govern your success with women.

Understand that there are always lessons to be learned and look for ways that you can apply seemingly disparate concepts and ideas from one area of life to achieve success in another.

2. Feel Don’t Think

If you ever watched Star Wars growing up, then you probably remember Obi Wan’s famous line to Anakin in Attack of the Clones “Feel. Don’t think.. Use your instinct.”

And while I am not training you to bring balance to the force or defeat the dark side, this same truth is applicable in our everyday, non-Jedi lives.

People, especially men, think too much.

We allow logic and egoic reasoning to dictate what we want (or what we say we want) and what goals we pursue.

But if you want to be truly happy.

If you want more joy and fulfillment in your life, and you want to live for your true purpose, then you need to feel your way through life.

When you trust your instincts instead of your head, you will be in greater alignment with your true purpose and your actual desires.

So drop the logic and just feel.

What do you really want? Who do you really want to become? And most importantly… Why?

3. Learn to Gamify Your Life

If you want to quickly achieve success in life and business, then stop taking it so damn seriously.

Relax and gamify your experience.

See your different goals and dreams as quests. And in order to achieve those quests, you need to “level up” by practicing different skills and breaking through different milestones.

When you begin to view your life and goals as a game, they start to become less of a chore, and more of an adventure.

How can you begin to gamify your life more, starting today?

4. You’ve Got to Start the Quest 

Once you have created a “quest” that you are going to pursue… You have to get started.

You cannot hope to achieve success without taking action and actually taking the first step towards your dreams.

I don’t care what this step is. It can be buying a new domain name, writing your first blog article, or launching your podcast.

Just do something.

Just get started.

The journey of a thousand miles begins with a single step ~Lao Tzu

5. Learn to Hustle 

If you want to achieve success, then you’ve gotta hustle.

This applies to professional gaming, entrepreneurship, bodybuilding, and success with women.

You can have whatever you want, but you have to work for it.

You have to get off your butt, show up, and do the work.

If you are willing to do this day in and day out over the years, you will succeed.

It will not be all at once, but over time, as Charlie Munger said, “If you live long enough, most people will get what they deserve.”

William Eckstrom is the President and founder of the EcSell Institute. Bill has spent his entire career in the sales arena; the first 14 years in personal production and then 13 in various sales leadership roles.

His management career began in 2000 as a District Manager for a medical equipment company and was promoted to U.S. Director of Sales in 2003. In 2004, Bill was lured away to become Senior Vice President of Business Development for a publicly traded healthcare organization. In 2008, he founded the EcSell Institute to fill a void he witnessed and personally experienced in the sales leadership

"The constant facade of order hides the wilderness that is craving to seek out and teach us that life wasn't created to be what we think it is. Beyond words we must experience the wilderness to be taught what otherwise cannot be known." ~Dr. Serene Jones

1. We Only Grow in a State of Discomfort

We live in an age of unprecedented comfort.

Things are easier today in 2017 (or whenever you are reading this) than they have ever been before.

If we get hot, we turn up the AC. If we get bored, we open up YouTube. If we are hungry, we order a pizza.

Life is too darn easy!

And with this ease, has come a disease that is plaguing society.

The disease of stagnation.

The more comfortable you become, the less drive and ambition you have to grow, create, and build a better life for yourself.

The more comfortable you become, the easier it is to relegate your dreams, desires, and aspirations to the realm of "someday".

Unless you are facing massive discomfort in your life, then odds are, you are slowly dying.

True growth, real, visceral growth is always predicated by discomfort.

If you are living a mediocre life and want to break free to achieve levels of success and happiness that you have been searching for for so long, then you must get uncomfortable.

It's as simple as that.

It's not pretty and it's not easy… but it is the truth.

You need to actively seek out discomfort in your career, your personal growth, and your physical health.

If your job isn't inspiring you, then find ways that you can take on new and uncomfortable responsibilities or quit.

If you are not growing as a man and becoming stronger and more grounded each and every day, then find mentors and friends inspire you to level up your game and quit playing it small.

If you are not constantly pushing the limits of your body and breaking through to new feats of strength, speed, and agility, then get your butt in the gym today and start sculpting yourself into a stronger man.

Gentlemen, if you are not growing you are dying.

It's time to cut the crap and start living life.

And it all starts by stepping outside what is easy and embracing discomfort.

2. Focus on Yourself First

If you have ever been on an airplane, then you are well aware of the boring (and often ignored) safety briefings at the beginning of each flight.

But if you pay special attention during those briefings you will notice something interesting.

The flight attendants will always tell you that, in the event of a crash, you need to put the oxygen mask on yourself first before helping anyone around you, including your children.

And while this might sound selfish and downright barbaric to some of you, it comes with good reason.

If you black out on during the crash while trying to help someone else, then what have you accomplished?

You have likely killed yourself and sealed the other person's fate as well.

And this lesson is applicable in all areas of life.

If you are not taking care of yourself, if you are not taking the time to grow yourself, mentally, spiritually, and professionally, then what use do you have to the rest of the world?

If you are so strung out on projects and problems that you can't think straight and need a double shot of espresso and a line of cocaine just to function, do you really think that you will be able to be the man that you woman needs you to be? That your family needs you to be? That your friends need you to be?

No!

Absolute selflessness is the ultimate selfishness.

It is only by taking care of yourself first that you can truly serve others.

If you want to truly serve your team, your loved ones, and your friends, then start by serving yourself.

Take time in solitude each day to meditate and be alone with your thoughts.

Take care of your health.

Take whatever time and resources are necessary to ensure that you can show up fully charged and alive.

Because when you are can unleash yourself on the world with power and energy, that's when you can serve others and make the biggest impact.

3. Life Happens for You Not to You

Each and every day you have a choice.

You can choose to believe that the circumstances and the events in your life are happening to you.

Or you can choose to believe that they are happening for you.

When you believe that life happens to you, you disempower yourself, rob your life of meaning and purpose, and will get lost in the downward spiral of negativity.

But when you can expand your mind and embrace the belief that life is happening for you, you will begin to see lessons and opportunities where previously, there were only obstacles.

If Bill hadn't been fired from his job, I would not be writing this article and would not have had the pleasure of interviewing him.

If I hadn't quit corporate and endured the pain of sleeping on my brother's couch and going broke to build this business, then I wouldn't have been privileged to have the business and the impact that I have today.

Whatever situation you are facing in your life, whatever struggle you don't believe you can overcome, choose to reframe it and see it as a gift from the universe.

See your pain as an opportunity to grow and become the man that you need to be so that you can truly achieve greatness when the time comes.

4.Realize that the Journey Never Ends

As you are reading or listening to this talk about discomfort, many of you might be thinking "When does this end? When can I sit back and relax and just enjoy all the comforts and ease life has to offer?"

The honest answer?

When you are dead.

You see, life is a journey.

And while you are on that journey, you are either growing or dying.

It doesn't matter how old you are, how accomplished you are, or how much you have achieved, in every moment you can either choose growth or death.

If you look at the statistics you will see that a large number of retirees die shortly after they leave their jobs, businesses, and careers behind.

And this isn't because of old age.

It's because they were no longer growing. Because they no longer had a deeper purpose driving their lives.

So yes, you can embrace comfort and just coast through life.

Just be prepared for decades of unfulfilling drudgery and overwhelming emptiness.

However, if you are listening to this podcast, if you are actively seeking out information that will help you grow to become the man you were born to be, then I would guess that you have no interest in coasting.

And if this is true, then you need to embrace discomfort.

Embrace the fact that until the day you die, you will never arrive, you will never be done, and the journey will never end.

Life is nothing more than a continual set of problems for which you are tasked to find the solution.

If you do it right, these problems will grow in size and magnitude as you grow.

But they will never end.

Embrace the journey and get excited about discomfort.

5. Focus on Your Passions

There has never been a time in human history where it was easier or more important to find and follow your passion.

With the power of the internet, you have the opportunity and the responsibility to find what you love and unleash it on the world.

It's time to start living your life and stop living someone else's.

Find what you love doing and go do that!

Stop squandering your time pursuing dreams and goals set by other people and start doing what you were meant to do.

If you get nothing else from this interview, get this.

You are meant to do so much more than you can imagine. But to do this, you must embrace discomfort and follow your passions no matter what the cost.

Period.

William Eckstrom is the President and founder of the EcSell Institute. Bill has spent his entire career in the sales arena; the first 14 years in personal production and then 13 in various sales leadership roles.

His management career began in 2000 as a District Manager for a medical equipment company and was promoted to U.S. Director of Sales in 2003. In 2004, Bill was lured away to become Senior Vice President of Business Development for a publicly traded healthcare organization. In 2008, he founded the EcSell Institute to fill a void he witnessed and personally experienced in the sales leadership

“The constant facade of order hides the wilderness that is craving to seek out and teach us that life wasn’t created to be what we think it is. Beyond words we must experience the wilderness to be taught what otherwise cannot be known.” ~Dr. Serene Jones

1. We Only Grow in a State of Discomfort 

We live in an age of unprecedented comfort.

Things are easier today in 2017 (or whenever you are reading this) than they have ever been before.

If we get hot, we turn up the AC. If we get bored, we open up YouTube. If we are hungry, we order a pizza.

Life is too darn easy!

And with this ease, has come a disease that is plaguing society.

The disease of stagnation.

The more comfortable you become, the less drive and ambition you have to grow, create, and build a better life for yourself.

The more comfortable you become, the easier it is to relegate your dreams, desires, and aspirations to the realm of “someday”.

Unless you are facing massive discomfort in your life, then odds are, you are slowly dying.

True growth, real, visceral growth is always predicated by discomfort.

If you are living a mediocre life and want to break free to achieve levels of success and happiness that you have been searching for for so long, then you must get uncomfortable.

It’s as simple as that.

It’s not pretty and it’s not easy… but it is the truth.

You need to actively seek out discomfort in your career, your personal growth, and your physical health.

If your job isn’t inspiring you, then find ways that you can take on new and uncomfortable responsibilities or quit.

If you are not growing as a man and becoming stronger and more grounded each and every day, then find mentors and friends inspire you to level up your game and quit playing it small.

If you are not constantly pushing the limits of your body and breaking through to new feats of strength, speed, and agility, then get your butt in the gym today and start sculpting yourself into a stronger man.

Gentlemen, if you are not growing you are dying.

It’s time to cut the crap and start living life.

And it all starts by stepping outside what is easy and embracing discomfort.

2. Focus on Yourself First

If you have ever been on an airplane, then you are well aware of the boring (and often ignored) safety briefings at the beginning of each flight.

But if you pay special attention during those briefings you will notice something interesting.

The flight attendants will always tell you that, in the event of a crash, you need to put the oxygen mask on yourself first before helping anyone around you, including your children.

And while this might sound selfish and downright barbaric to some of you, it comes with good reason.

If you black out on during the crash while trying to help someone else, then what have you accomplished?

You have likely killed yourself and sealed the other person’s fate as well.

And this lesson is applicable in all areas of life.

If you are not taking care of yourself, if you are not taking the time to grow yourself, mentally, spiritually, and professionally, then what use do you have to the rest of the world?

If you are so strung out on projects and problems that you can’t think straight and need a double shot of espresso and a line of cocaine just to function, do you really think that you will be able to be the man that you woman needs you to be? That your family needs you to be? That your friends need you to be?

No!

Absolute selflessness is the ultimate selfishness.

It is only by taking care of yourself first that you can truly serve others.

If you want to truly serve your team, your loved ones, and your friends, then start by serving yourself.

Take time in solitude each day to meditate and be alone with your thoughts.

Take care of your health.

Take whatever time and resources are necessary to ensure that you can show up fully charged and alive.

Because when you are can unleash yourself on the world with power and energy, that’s when you can serve others and make the biggest impact.

3. Life Happens for You Not to You

Each and every day you have a choice.

You can choose to believe that the circumstances and the events in your life are happening to you.

Or you can choose to believe that they are happening for you.

When you believe that life happens to you, you disempower yourself, rob your life of meaning and purpose, and will get lost in the downward spiral of negativity.

But when you can expand your mind and embrace the belief that life is happening for you, you will begin to see lessons and opportunities where previously, there were only obstacles.

If Bill hadn’t been fired from his job, I would not be writing this article and would not have had the pleasure of interviewing him.

If I hadn’t quit corporate and endured the pain of sleeping on my brother’s couch and going broke to build this business, then I wouldn’t have been privileged to have the business and the impact that I have today.

Whatever situation you are facing in your life, whatever struggle you don’t believe you can overcome, choose to reframe it and see it as a gift from the universe.

See your pain as an opportunity to grow and become the man that you need to be so that you can truly achieve greatness when the time comes.

4.Realize that the Journey Never Ends

As you are reading or listening to this talk about discomfort, many of you might be thinking “When does this end? When can I sit back and relax and just enjoy all the comforts and ease life has to offer?”

The honest answer?

When you are dead.

You see, life is a journey.

And while you are on that journey, you are either growing or dying.

It doesn’t matter how old you are, how accomplished you are, or how much you have achieved, in every moment you can either choose growth or death.

If you look at the statistics you will see that a large number of retirees die shortly after they leave their jobs, businesses, and careers behind.

And this isn’t because of old age.

It’s because they were no longer growing. Because they no longer had a deeper purpose driving their lives.

So yes, you can embrace comfort and just coast through life.

Just be prepared for decades of unfulfilling drudgery and overwhelming emptiness.

However, if you are listening to this podcast, if you are actively seeking out information that will help you grow to become the man you were born to be, then I would guess that you have no interest in coasting.

And if this is true, then you need to embrace discomfort.

Embrace the fact that until the day you die, you will never arrive, you will never be done, and the journey will never end.

Life is nothing more than a continual set of problems for which you are tasked to find the solution.

If you do it right, these problems will grow in size and magnitude as you grow.

But they will never end.

Embrace the journey and get excited about discomfort.

5. Focus on Your Passions 

There has never been a time in human history where it was easier or more important to find and follow your passion.

With the power of the internet, you have the opportunity and the responsibility to find what you love and unleash it on the world.

It’s time to start living your life and stop living someone else’s.

Find what you love doing and go do that!

Stop squandering your time pursuing dreams and goals set by other people and start doing what you were meant to do.

If you get nothing else from this interview, get this.

You are meant to do so much more than you can imagine. But to do this, you must embrace discomfort and follow your passions no matter what the cost.

Period.

A 24 year veteran of the FBI, Chris Voss is one of the preeminent practitioners and professors of negotiating skills in the world. He is the founder and principal of The Black Swan Group, a consulting firm that provides training and advises Fortune 500 companies through complex negotiations.

Voss has taught for many business schools, including the University of Southern California's Marshall School of Business, Georgetown University's McDonough School of Business, Harvard University, MIT's Sloan School of Management, and Northwestern University's Kellogg School of Management, among others.

"It can't be that hard" ~Chris Voss

1. Just Jump in and Figure it Out

Whatever it is that you want to do, whatever goal you want to achieve, whatever business you want to start, whatever dream you want to pursue…

Just jump in and do it.

How hard can it be?

If other men have come before you and accomplished goals of the same or similar magnitude, then why not you?

Why shouldn't you be able to gain the knowledge, skill sets, and expertise you need to succeed?

Don't overthink it.

Don't waste time analyzing it.

Just jump in and figure it out.

2. Don't Talk to Somone. Talk with Them

One of the keys to great negotiation and communication is that you must talk with people, not just to them.

Too many people walk around running their mouths and talking to people, but they never actually take the time to slow down and listen to them.

They never talk with them to figure out who they really are and what they are saying.

If you want to immediately improve the quality of your negotiations at work, your communication in your marriage, and the quality of conversation with your friends, then start talking with people in your life.

Figure out what really makes them tick.

Delve deeply into the why behind their comments and beliefs.

Become deeply curious about them and you will find doors opening up in some huge ways.

3. Surround Yourself with the Right People

Regardless of your goals and ambitions, it is imperative that you surround yourself with the right people.

People who are smart, hard working, fun, and most importantly… people who know things that you do not.

If you are the smartest person in any room, then you are in the wrong room.

As you progress through life, seek to find rooms that make you more and more uncomfortable. Rooms that are filled with people who are so big and powerful that you are forced to pause and think "Do I really belong here?"

The more that you can surround yourself with the right people, the more quickly you will become the right person in your own life.

So ditch the negative friends and the unambitious buddies from college.

It's time to level up your social circle and level up your life.

4. Work Hard and Have Fun

The rules of success are simple.

Work hard and have fun.

At the end of the day, if you can do those two things, then you are a success.

If you can show up, put in the effort, get your nose to the grindstone and make things happen while laughing, smiling, and enjoying yourself, then you have achieved success.

To live a fulfilling and rich life, you must work hard.

But you must also have fun while doing it.

5. Take Good Advice

Most people want mentors.

They want teachers and guides who can help them to achieve their goals and live a 10/10 life.

But when they finally find those people and are given their first challenging piece of advice, they run and hide, ignoring the very thing that could revolutionize their reality.

If you want to succeed, then learn to take good advice.

No matter how hard or uncomfortable it might be, when you find someone succeeding at a high level who has what you want… Listen and implement what they say.

No questions asked and no hesitation.

A 24 year veteran of the FBI, Chris Voss is one of the preeminent practitioners and professors of negotiating skills in the world. He is the founder and principal of The Black Swan Group, a consulting firm that provides training and advises Fortune 500 companies through complex negotiations.

Voss has taught for many business schools, including the University of Southern California’s Marshall School of Business, Georgetown University’s McDonough School of Business, Harvard University, MIT’s Sloan School of Management, and Northwestern University’s Kellogg School of Management, among others.

“It can’t be that hard” ~Chris Voss

1. Just Jump in and Figure it Out 

Whatever it is that you want to do, whatever goal you want to achieve, whatever business you want to start, whatever dream you want to pursue…

Just jump in and do it.

How hard can it be?

If other men have come before you and accomplished goals of the same or similar magnitude, then why not you?

Why shouldn’t you be able to gain the knowledge, skill sets, and expertise you need to succeed?

Don’t overthink it.

Don’t waste time analyzing it.

Just jump in and figure it out.

2. Don’t Talk to Somone. Talk with Them 

One of the keys to great negotiation and communication is that you must talk with people, not just to them.

Too many people walk around running their mouths and talking to people, but they never actually take the time to slow down and listen to them.

They never talk with them to figure out who they really are and what they are saying.

If you want to immediately improve the quality of your negotiations at work, your communication in your marriage, and the quality of conversation with your friends, then start talking with people in your life.

Figure out what really makes them tick.

Delve deeply into the why behind their comments and beliefs.

Become deeply curious about them and you will find doors opening up in some huge ways.

3. Surround Yourself with the Right People

Regardless of your goals and ambitions, it is imperative that you surround yourself with the right people.

People who are smart, hard working, fun, and most importantly… people who know things that you do not.

If you are the smartest person in any room, then you are in the wrong room.

As you progress through life, seek to find rooms that make you more and more uncomfortable. Rooms that are filled with people who are so big and powerful that you are forced to pause and think “Do I really belong here?”

The more that you can surround yourself with the right people, the more quickly you will become the right person in your own life.

So ditch the negative friends and the unambitious buddies from college.

It’s time to level up your social circle and level up your life.

4. Work Hard and Have Fun

The rules of success are simple.

Work hard and have fun.

At the end of the day, if you can do those two things, then you are a success.

If you can show up, put in the effort, get your nose to the grindstone and make things happen while laughing, smiling, and enjoying yourself, then you have achieved success.

To live a fulfilling and rich life, you must work hard.

But you must also have fun while doing it.

5. Take Good Advice 

Most people want mentors.

They want teachers and guides who can help them to achieve their goals and live a 10/10 life.

But when they finally find those people and are given their first challenging piece of advice, they run and hide, ignoring the very thing that could revolutionize their reality.

If you want to succeed, then learn to take good advice.

No matter how hard or uncomfortable it might be, when you find someone succeeding at a high level who has what you want… Listen and implement what they say.

No questions asked and no hesitation.

Todd Henry is the founder of Accidental Creative, a company that helps creative people and teams be prolific, brilliant and healthy. He regularly speaks and consults with companies about how to develop practices that lead to everyday brilliance.

He is the author of Die Empty, The Accidental Creative, and Louder than Words.

"Verily the lust for comfort murders the passion of our soul and then walks grinning in the funeral" ~Kahlil Gibran

1. The Goal of Life is Not Comfort it's Contribution

Society has tried to convince us that the ultimate goal of our lives is to increase our comfort.

But the problem with this philosophy is that no great work ever came from comfort.

You cannot contribute to society and build a true legacy while staying comfortable.

In fact, comfort is what kills great work and dreams.

The more you are pursuing comfort, the more you are going to be willing to compromise what you know is right and ultimately the more you are willing to reduce your goals and play it small in life.

It's not comfortable to build a great business.

It's hard work, it requires long hours, and lots of lost sleep.

It's not comfortable to sustain a strong marriage.

It requires difficult conversations, a commitment to your spouse even when they are at their worst, and the ability to say no to the temptation of other women.

It's not comfortable to build a great body.

It requires strenuous exercise, denying yourself the pleasure of excess food, and controlling vices that would harm your health.

But while it might not be comfortable to do any of these things, it is worth it.

2. Suffering is Not Evil

One of the missions of many modern gurus is to "Eradicate suffering wherever it exists".

And while this sentiment sounds noble, when you understand its ramifications, the truth becomes clear.

Suffering is not evil, it is not wrong, and it is not a danger to society.

Suffering is a necessary part of growth and development.

Suffering builds character in the individual and equips them for challenges that they will face later in life.

I want you to imagine two men.

The first grew up in NYC, with rich affluent parents, and the whole world presented to him.

The second, grew up in the South Side of Chicago, with an abusive father and an emotionally distant mother.

They both grow up, and decide to take up the mantle of entrepreneurship.

When the first man comes in contact with his first set of challenges, what do you think will happen?

When he is required to work for 24 hours straight, to fire a dear friend, and to pull payroll from his own bank account… how do you think he will respond?

While he might rise to the situation and surprise us all, odds are, his love of comfort and soft life will have conditioned him to tuck his tail and run.

But the second man?

The man who became friends with pain and suffering from a very young age?

What do you think he will do?

He will laugh.

This is nothing compared to where he came from and he knows that he can easily overcome these obstacles to achieve his goals.

Suffering breeds strong men and strong men shape the world.

While you shouldn't seek to suffer more than is necessary, you should embrace suffering as it arises and be willing to see it for the gift that it is.

3.Contemplate Your Own Death

We are all going to die.

Maybe Elon Musk will step in and save the population from its rapidly approaching fate, but until then, the only axiom of life is the inevitability of death.

You are going to die, I am going to die, and everyone who reads this is going to die.

And when we are presented with this reality, we have but one of two choices.

We can either continue living life like we always have, lazily coasting through our days, living the deferred life that everyone else has designed for us.

Or we can take action.

We can use this disturbing and dark reality to inspire us and empower us to live our best lives.

If tomorrow is not guaranteed then you can no longer waste today.

Don't wait until later to tell someone that you love them, don't wait until next week to start pursuing your dreams, and don't wait a second longer to start living with joy and passion.

We are all dead men walking.

So we might as well make the most of it.

4. Make Mistakes of Commission Not Omission

There are only two kinds of mistakes in this world.

Mistakes of omission and mistakes of commission.

Mistakes of omission are the worst kind.

These mistakes are where we knew we needed to do something, desperately wanted to take action, but froze in fear.

These are the mistakes where we think back and wonder "What would have happened if I had taken that trip, quit that job, asked that girl out, or been willing to be my true self."

These are the mistakes that haunt us to our death bed.

Then there are mistakes of commission.

These are the mistakes that we will most often look back and smile on.

These are the mistakes where we started that business, made a bad move, and then failed and learned what we needed to for our next venture.

These are the mistakes where we drop out of school, travel the world, lose everything and have to rebuild. But, we had a heck of a time doing it, met some amazing people, and lived a fuller life for it.

These are the mistakes where we go up and talk to the girl, ask for her number, and then get shot down. But we laugh it off, go back to our buddies and try again.

Mistakes of commission at the best, help us in future endeavors, and at worst teach us lessons.

You have a choice.

You can either make mistakes of omission and live the rest of your life wondering "what if" or you can make mistakes of commission and live the rest of your life saying "At least I tried".

5. Are You Loving People Through Your Work or Using Them?

At all times you are either loving people through your work or using them through your work.

There is no in between.

When you use people through your work, sure you can make a few dollars.

But how long will it last?

How long until people say, "Enough! I am sick of this"?

When you love people through your work, you might find that the money comes a little bit slower (trust me though it will come) but the fulfillment flows in abundance.

You know that every post you write, every video you publish, and every product you sell is ultimately helping people, engaging people, and pushing them further in their journey to become their best selves.

When you can use your business to love people, the flood gates of the universe will open to you and you will start to see love and abundance show up in your lives in a way that you never could have imagined.