A special episode answering a question from someone who isn't sure if they are the abuser and if they need to work on their own abusive behavior, even though there are clear signs they are being abused as well.      LAA Insights is an addendum to the regular show that you'll find scattered in between full episodes. On Insights, I pick random emails that I haven't addressed yet and do my best to provide my insights and opinions. 

LAA Insights - Is he right about me being the abuser?

Helping you identify toxic communication, emotional abuse, manipulation, and other forms of bad behavior in relationships. Love and Abuse gives you the perspective of both the victim and the perpetrator. Full of tips and advice for your friendships, family, love life, and marriage.

You'll learn about covert abusive communication that takes away your power. And you'll discover how to pinpoint the specific toxic behaviors, such as narcissistic abuse and verbal abuse, before you are dragged into a game so deep you come out a shell of your former self.

Love and Abuse is the official podcast of The M.E.A.N. Workbook, an assessment and healing guide to help you evaluate the emotionally abusive and manipulative patterns in your relationship. Get the guide that will tell you exactly what's happening in your relationship over at loveandabuse.com.

Transcripts available upon request: https://loveandabuse.com/contact/

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When the emotional abuser apologizes and tries to make amends with their ex-partner after they've done a lot of personal growth and development, should they expect a response from their ex? Is that expecting too much? Or is it time for all to move on and start anew?

When the emotional abuser reaches back out after they've healed and changed

You give, you adapt, and you change who you are almost to your very core... to what end? When you are overly compassionate to others, you might actually be taking away from yourself. This is as harmful to your mind as a lack of sleep is to your body. 

Time with yourself is not only necessary, its required

Victims of emotional abuse can experience physical pain from all the trauma, potentially leading to increased tolerance and resilience of harm. They can gradually lose their identity due to the abuser’s actions, becoming a shell of their former selves. 

Emotionally abusive behavior is also physically painful

Some emotionally abusive people don't change, no matter how much the victim of their hurtful behavior changes for them. Is there ever a point where they will be the person you want them to be? Or does anything you do really matter at all? 

When the good you do for them leads nowhere

There's a clever manipulation that can happen in some emotionally abusive relationships. It starts with superficial kindness and vague promises and leads to blameshifting and avoiding true accountability. This very subtle form of gaslighting will drive you crazy. I'll share with you how to spot it. 

LAA Insights - Is he right about me being the abuser?

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