If we create our own emotional experience... 

Why would we ever create emotions that feel so awful?

It's such a good question.

And one I hear—both from myself and from my clients—all the time.

In this episode, we continue our conversation about feelings and explore why difficult emotions aren't mistakes to fix or signs that something has gone wrong.

They're part of being human.

As Sixes, we often assume that if we feel fear, sadness, anger, or grief, there must be a problem to solve. We immediately begin looking for who caused it, what went wrong, or how to make it stop.

But what if those emotions aren't the enemy?

What if they're actually revealing what matters most?

In this episode, we explore:

This episode isn't about liking uncomfortable feelings.

It's about changing your relationship with them.

A question to take with you:

What if this emotion isn't a problem to solve… but something to understand?

Helpful Links:

What if the thing you've been trying to fix… isn't actually the problem?

In this episode, we talk about one of the most life-changing ideas I've ever learned:

We create our emotional experience from the inside out.

As Sixes, we often believe that if people behaved differently, if circumstances changed, or if life became more certain, we'd finally feel better.

But that's not how emotions work.

Instead, our minds and bodies are constantly interpreting what's happening around us, creating emotions, assigning meaning, and building stories—all in a matter of seconds.

Understanding this doesn't make difficult emotions disappear.

It gives us something much more valuable:

Choice.

In this episode, we explore:

A question to take with you:

What story am I telling myself about this feeling—and is there another possibility?

Helpful Links:

One of the questions I hear most from Sixes is: 

"How do I know if I'm thinking something through... or just overthinking?"

It's a great question.

Because as Sixes, our minds are incredibly capable. We anticipate problems, make contingency plans, and often see things others miss.

Those are real strengths.

But those same strengths can quietly shift into rumination, endless doubt, and anxiety that keeps us stuck.

In this episode, I answer a listener question about leadership, decision-making, and the challenge of knowing when thinking is actually helping.

We explore:

This episode isn't about thinking less.

It's about learning to recognize when your mind is helping you... and when it's simply serving fear.

A question to take with you:

Is my thinking moving me toward clarity… or just keeping me busy?

Helpful Links:

 What if discomfort isn't a problem? 

What if it's just part of being alive?

In this episode, I explore one of the biggest traps Sixes fall into:

Believing that if we just work harder, do more, know more, prepare more, or get things "right," we'll finally feel safe.

But underneath so much of our striving is a quiet belief:

"I need to earn safety."

"I need to earn approval."

"I need to earn enough."

And that belief keeps us locked in a cycle of over-functioning, self-pressure, and chronic discomfort.

In this episode, we explore:

A question to take with you:

What if I stopped trying to earn what is already mine?

Helpful Links:

What if the thing causing the most suffering isn't the anxiety, fear, frustration, or self-doubt?

What if it's your resistance to them?

In this episode, I unpack one of the biggest obstacles Sixes face:

The constant internal battle with ourselves.

We resist our feelings.
We resist our reactions.
We resist our humanity.

And then we wonder why we feel stuck.

Using stories from a recent family vacation, I explore how real change happens when we stop trying to force ourselves into being different and start becoming curious about what is actually happening.

In this episode, we explore:

This episode is an invitation to stop fighting yourself.

Because the moment you stop resisting yourself...

you finally have the space to change.

A question to take with you:

What part of my experience am I fighting right now?

Helpful Links:

What if the thing Sixes are actually looking for isn't certainty?

What if it's alignment?

In this episode, I share a new framework I've been developing for understanding growth and healing as a Type Six through the lens of the three centers of intelligence:

🧠 Head
❤️ Heart
💪 Body

I explore why self-compassion isn't just a nice idea or another thing we "should" do.

It's foundational.

Because when we learn how to create a different relationship with ourselves, something remarkable begins to happen:

Our head, heart, and body start working together instead of against each other.

In this episode, we explore:

This episode is really about one thing:

Learning how to become someone you trust.

A question to take with you:

What would change if I treated myself like someone worthy of trust?

Helpful Links:

We've spent the last several episodes talking about the shadow.

The parts of ourselves we don't see.
The parts we reject.
The parts we push away.

But what about the opposite?

What lives in the light?

In this episode, I explore the traits and identities that many Sixes willingly claim as part of who they are:

✨ loyal
✨ responsible
✨ prepared
✨ helpful
✨ truthful
✨ reliable
✨ the questioner
✨ the protector

These are real strengths.

But they're not the whole story.

Because when these qualities become identities instead of abilities, they can become rigid, exhausting, and limiting.

In this episode, we explore:

This isn't about giving up your strengths.

It's about holding them lightly.

A question to take with you:

Who would I be if I stopped defining myself by what I do for others?

Helpful Links:

 In this final episode of the shadow work series, we get very specific about what may actually live in the shadow of Type Six.

And yes… some of it may sting.

Because shadow work is not about finding “bad” things about yourself.

It’s about discovering the parts of yourself you pushed away in order to feel safe, accepted, supported, or secure.

In this episode, we explore:

This work isn’t about fixing yourself.

It’s about becoming more whole.

Because the parts of ourselves we refuse to see…
often end up running the show.

A question to take with you:

What part of myself still feels too dangerous to fully own?

Helpful Links:

Sixes often believe:
“If there’s something wrong with me… I need to fix it immediately.”

But what if that approach is actually keeping you stuck?

In this episode, I continue our conversation around shadow work and why this kind of inner work can feel especially threatening for Sixes.

Because for Sixes, seeing parts of ourselves we haven’t acknowledged can feel dangerous.

Not just uncomfortable.

Dangerous.

We explore:

This episode is ultimately about learning how to create an internal environment where:

- your whole self is allowed to exist

- fear can be acknowledged without shame

- and you stop living in battle with yourself

Because healing isn’t:
“becoming perfect.”

It’s becoming more whole.

A question to take with you:

What part of myself do I still believe makes me unsafe to love?

Helpful Links:

In this episode, we explore shadow work through the lens of the Enneagram — specifically what it means for Sixes.

I talk about:

But this episode is not about “fixing” yourself.

It’s about learning how to:

Because the things we push away don’t disappear.

They just operate from the shadows.

In this episode, we explore:

A question to take with you:

What part of myself feels too dangerous to fully acknowledge?

Helpful Links: