Sixes, let's talk about fear.

Not because Sixes are walking around scared all the time. In fact, plenty of Sixes don't identify with being fearful at all.

Fear is a core human emotion. It's necessary. It's designed to help keep us alive.

But for Enneagram Sixes, that very normal fear mechanism gets expanded into something bigger: an emotional lens through which we navigate the world.

In this episode of the Foundations Series, we're looking beyond what fear looks like and asking a different question:

What is the fear actually doing for us?

For Sixes, fear keeps our attention searching for the things we believe we need to navigate the world safely: security, support, and guidance.

And at the same time, we're scanning for anything that might threaten those things.

That can look like questioning.

Planning.

Looking for guidelines or frameworks.

Seeking other people's opinions.

Checking one more time.

Struggling when trusted sources disagree.

Or even feeling incredibly certain because we've aligned ourselves with a person, belief system, institution, or authority that seems certain enough for us.

In this episode, we explore:

The goal isn't to make fear another thing that's wrong with you.

Remember our frame from the beginning of this series:

Your patterns serve a function.

So instead of judging your fear, anxiety, doubt, or questioning, let's get curious about what it's trying to do for you.

What is my fear helping me look for—and what is it trying to protect me from?

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Sixes, what if the things you've been trying so hard to "fix" about yourself aren't flaws at all?

In this episode, I'm kicking off a new Foundations Series exploring what it means to be an Enneagram Six—and before we get into the specifics of Type Six, we need to talk about how we approach the Enneagram in the first place.

Because the Enneagram isn't simply a list of behaviors.

It's about patterns.

Patterns that developed for a reason. Patterns designed to protect something deeper and more tender within us.

And this distinction matters for Sixes because when we learn something new about ourselves, we have a tendency to immediately turn it into a problem.

Oh, I do that.

I shouldn't do that.

Why am I still doing that?

I know better.

I need to fix this.

But when we approach our Six patterns that way, we're actually looking at the pattern through the pattern.

In this episode, we explore:

Why the Enneagram is about patterns, not just behaviors

The protective function behind our personality patterns

Why Sixes tend to turn self-awareness into another problem to solve

How our desire for certainty can show up in personal growth work

Why knowing more about yourself doesn't automatically create transformation

The difference between seeing a pattern as a flaw and getting curious about what it's protecting

How approaching yourself differently can become a foundation for self-trust

As we move through this Foundations Series, I want you to remember:

Your patterns are trying to protect you. They are not revealing something wrong with you.

So instead of asking:

"Why am I like this?"

Try:

"I wonder what this pattern is protecting me from?"

That's where we're starting.

Helpful Links:

Schedule Your Uninhibited Consultation HERE

What does this work actually look like in real life?

Not when you've mastered your Sixness. Not when you've stopped feeling anxious or second-guessing yourself.

But when you're still very much a Six—and you're learning how to relate to yourself differently.

In this episode, I'm joined by my client Keely, an Enneagram Six who completed the first round of Uninhibited and is coming back for round two.

We talk about some very familiar Six patterns: hypervigilance, overpreparing, self-doubt, needing reassurance, and the pressure to do things "right."

But more importantly, Keely shares what has changed.

She talks about preparing for this very podcast interview by... not preparing. 😬

She shares what it was like to stand up in front of a room with a microphone without scripting everything first.

And we talk about learning to notice our Six patterns without immediately turning them into more evidence that something is wrong with us.

In this episode, we explore:

Maybe the goal isn't to become less of a Six.

Maybe it's to have more freedom and choice within your Sixness.

As Keely put it:

"There's nothing wrong with me. There's nothing I need to fix."

Helpful Links:

Schedule Your Uninhibited Consultation HERE

Sixes, you're already working really hard. 

You're managing a lot. Thinking about a lot. Taking care of a lot. Trying to anticipate a lot.

So what if the answer isn't working harder?

What if it's learning how to redirect some of the energy you're already using?

In this episode, I'm walking through what I consider to be some of the essential work for Enneagram Sixes—and, conveniently, the work we'll be doing together in the next round of Uninhibited.

We talk about why Sixes often prefer information over practice, why what's happening in your body impacts the thoughts available to you, and how the questions you automatically ask yourself can keep you spinning instead of helping you move forward.

We also get into one of the biggest shifts I want for Sixes: moving from an internal experience of scarcity—I need more information, more certainty, more support, more proof—toward a growing sense of sufficiency.

I have enough to take the next step.

I know enough to make this decision.

I can handle my life as it comes.

In this episode, we explore:

You probably have more capacity, support, resources, and internal sturdiness than you realize.

The work isn't always creating more.

Sometimes it's learning to see—and trust—what is already there.

A question to take with you:

What if I already have enough within me to take the next step?

Helpful Links:

Schedule Your Uninhibited Consultation HERE

Sixes, what happens in the space between what you know... and what you don't know? 

Your brain fills it in.

And usually, it doesn't fill it in with the most supportive story.

In this episode, I introduce a concept I'm calling Mind the Gap—the practice of noticing what happens inside us when we're faced with uncertainty.

Maybe you say something vulnerable and don't know how the other person will respond.

Maybe you're starting something new and have no idea how it's going to go.

Maybe you're waiting on an answer.

There it is: the gap.

And for Sixes, that gap can quickly fill with fear, worst-case scenarios, contingency plans, control, anger, cynicism, or attempts to convince ourselves we don't care about something we actually care very much about.

In this episode, we explore:

We can't eliminate uncertainty.

But we can learn how to stop letting our automatic response to uncertainty run our lives.

A question to take with you:

Where is there a gap of uncertainty in my life right now—and what is my Six brain filling it with?

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What happens inside you after you make a mistake?

For Sixes, it can get complicated fast.

There may be healthy guilt—the ugh, I wish I hadn't done that feeling that lets us know we've acted outside of our values.

But then anxiety can jump in.

What are they going to think? Are they mad? Did I ruin something?

And if we're not careful, shame isn't far behind.

What kind of person does that? Maybe I'm irresponsible. Maybe I'm unprofessional. Maybe there's something wrong with me.

In this episode, I use a very real—and thankfully pretty low-stakes—mistake of my own to explore what guilt, anxiety, and shame actually feel like from the inside.

We talk about:

Your first reaction may be automatic.

What you do with that reaction doesn't have to be.

A question to take with you:

Am I owning a mistake—or am I making the mistake mean something about who I am?

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Guilt is one of those emotions Sixes talk about all the time. 

But what if much of what we're calling guilt… isn't actually guilt?

In this episode, I unpack the difference between healthy guilt—the kind that points us toward repair and integrity—and the anxiety, worry, and rumination that so many Sixes mistake for guilt.

Because when we confuse anxiety with guilt, we end up carrying responsibility that was never ours, apologizing for taking up space, and trying to control relationships that were never ours to control.

We explore:

This episode isn't about getting rid of guilt.

It's about recognizing when guilt is actually pointing you toward integrity... and when anxiety is simply wearing guilt's clothes.

A question to take with you:

Am I feeling true guilt… or am I simply afraid someone will be upset with me?

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If you're waiting to feel peaceful after you've solved all the problems... 

You may be waiting forever.

As Sixes, we often believe that calm, joy, and peace are rewards we earn after we've fixed everything that's wrong. But what if those emotions aren't waiting on the other side of certainty?

What if they're available now?

In this episode, we shift the conversation from difficult emotions to the emotions we long for more of. We explore why our brains naturally focus on threat, why that's not a flaw, and how we can intentionally build new pathways that allow us to notice beauty, support, calm, and joy—even when life is hard.

This isn't about pretending everything is okay.

It's about learning where to place your attention.

In this episode, we explore:

A question to take with you:

Where is my attention right now—and is it creating the experience I want?

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Last week, we explored why we experience difficult emotions at all. This week, we're continuing the conversation by looking at three emotions Sixes often spend a tremendous amount of energy trying to avoid: disappointment, fear, and anxiety. 

What if disappointment isn't something to protect yourself from?

What if fear isn't the enemy?

And what if anxiety isn't actually solving the problem your brain thinks it's solving?

In this episode, we explore how our emotional lives shape so many of the behaviors Sixes know well—lowering expectations, planning for every possibility, overthinking, pessimism, and trying to stay ahead of pain before it ever arrives.

The goal isn't to stop having these emotions.

The goal is to become safe enough inside yourself that you no longer have to organize your life around avoiding them.

In this episode, we discuss:

A question to take with you:

What feeling am I actually trying to avoid?

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If we create our own emotional experience... 

Why would we ever create emotions that feel so awful?

It's such a good question.

And one I hear—both from myself and from my clients—all the time.

In this episode, we continue our conversation about feelings and explore why difficult emotions aren't mistakes to fix or signs that something has gone wrong.

They're part of being human.

As Sixes, we often assume that if we feel fear, sadness, anger, or grief, there must be a problem to solve. We immediately begin looking for who caused it, what went wrong, or how to make it stop.

But what if those emotions aren't the enemy?

What if they're actually revealing what matters most?

In this episode, we explore:

This episode isn't about liking uncomfortable feelings.

It's about changing your relationship with them.

A question to take with you:

What if this emotion isn't a problem to solve… but something to understand?

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