Live IFS

By Internal Family Systems SessionsHealth & Fitness Mental Health

Live IFS episodes

August 01, 2023269: Genie A. revisits
🔸 Wonderland, a family story, and the part they left out.
🔹 Parts:
P: Concern. Smooths the path, keeps from tripping up, stumbling around. Always scanning the environment internal and external. Rather be floating, doing barrel rolls. Thinks Genie is:

E: Impulsive, oblivious little kid. Age ~5. Intimidated and feeling awful.

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1 hr 18 min
July 30, 2023268: Mio A. revisits
🔸 "How dare you!" Continuing our last convo, we encounter the Rage in Red.
🔹 Parts:
P1,2: The Tranquilizer and Pushing away

P3: The guilt pushes down the rage

P: Rage, "Something is being violated, what is happening is not right, how dare you!" Afraid, without it, I would have become a zombie, or insane, or suicided.

Wants to be: Seen, Heard, To express its wants and get a reasonable reaction, Not to be violated, Not to feel guilty, Respect.

Need a way to express, and needs the Guilting one not dominate

E: The 6 year old in mother's bed. Confused, abandoned, violated. Obligated to keep mom alive, or she'll die too.
🎓 What I'd like to do differently:
Celebrating efficiency and clarity. I see how I could have done more to assist with that in previous calls.

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1 hr 6 min
July 28, 2023267: Clare A. revisits
🔸 “There’s something coming”. Meandering, parts meet Self.
🔹 Parts:
P: The steel core, intellectual, the stopper (but also saying don’t stop there?). The bridge, "don’t collapse, don’t be weak." Needs a moat.

? The can stomper

P: The lookout, thinks she’s 12

E: The 12 year old
🎓 What I'd like to do differently:
I was kinda lost, drifting, through a lot of this convo. My questions weren’t very pointed or clarifying, and it felt like a “first timer” convo. But I assume that's fine, to be expected for the amount of work we've done and time between sessions. This marks the start of us working more regular together. Clare has the paradigm now, I think we'll be able to hit the gas, and I’ll feel more confident being more direct. Before playing the game sometimes you gotta dump out all the pieces (and maybe glance at the rules).

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56 min
July 26, 2023266: Jovan A. revisits
🔸 How am I supposed to act in this situation?*
🔹 Parts:
P: Laughter, afraid of being excluded

P: You should be more serious, afraid of a terrible existence

P: "I'll be fine" (going above/around the rules)

P: "'I'll be fine' is dangerous" (maybe the serious part?)

E(s): 8yo? Being excluded, "how am I supposed to act?", fear of being blind to the rules (theme of other convo, that everyone else intuits these things)
🎓 What I'd like to do differently:
*I realize I'm talking about myself/projecting throughout this convo. We're both trying to answer the question.

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1 hr 3 min
July 22, 2023265: Theresa A. revisits
🔸 The shit kicker and- Oh, a baby on my knee!
*Part shares a song: https://youtu.be/SI8RmHw1QpY
🔹 Parts:
P: 27yo, leather jacket, tough. If not tough, people will run all over you. “I will let you see he baby if you believe in her”. Polarized, in opposition to

P: Acquiesce (see last call), be timid

E?: The wimp, sneaky. We didn’t get a good look. Went from being blended to hiding behind P1.

P: The non-believer. “We’re making up characters…”

E: The baby/tot. Wants snuggly cozies. Doesn’t have a voice.
🎓 What I'd like to do differently:
I warned Theresa before call that I was on 3.5 hrs sleep.
I take full responsibility for derailing us with unclear questions about the non-believer. I was relieved when she said "just need to be quiet"; that’s what I planned to suggest when I said “I could list some options…”
I would have cautioned against meeting protector and baby at once like that if I didn’t know/trust her work and system to the degree that I do. I trust we can navigate whatever comes up. I was crying more than usual at the realness of this baby, could you tell?

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1 hr 3 min
July 20, 2023264: Olivia A. revisits
🔸 “Acceptance is a cope, not a strategy”. An airtight gang of 3 (or more) fights to keep the love out. Love finds a way.
🔹 Parts:
The Agenda: "Go deep!", wants evidence

The Cynic: "This never works"

The Wall: doesn't want compassion to reach other parts, doesn't want to feel like a sucker.

🎓 What I'd like to do differently:
Feeling sick today, so I had concerns going into this call that I wouldn't be able to help much. I have an agenda part too that wants to get to the "deeper" work. But zooming out, I see it happening. The energy, tension in the air may feel similar to previous calls, but I think both Olivia and I are gaining clarity and some other C's as we continue. If all we did was establish that these protectors deserve to be known by Self, that's a win. And I think we did considerably more than that.
I could have done a lot differently, but she says it's helpful, and wants to continue. Maybe we're doing it just right.
📍 Olivia Followed up: things went especially well (in that sessison) ... yeah it’s been easier to access a bit more self lately
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1 hr 13 min
July 18, 2023263: Jo A. revisits
🔸 Judgement around appearance/weight. Legacy and cultural burdens.
🔹 Parts:
Not emotional eating, but the part that judges appearance

Face, throat, angry

It's an exile, similar in a few ways to last sessions: "He made me this way". But controlling internal not external.

🎓 What I'd like to do differently:
I've been studying too much lately, trying to change too many things at once. Non-gendered a gendered part.
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54 min
July 16, 2023262: Justine A. revisits
🔸 "Prove it!" & "This is yours" The keeper of keys, an ally.
🔹 Parts:
The top guy, the Keeper of keys still asking to be seen and appreciated, but now has a role of discerning when self is present. "you can’t do it, you don’t know how" , mean, wants to prove that to:
The good girl

🎓 What I'd like to do differently:
Was the spaceyness a part? I think not. But it can feel similar to its opposite: muddled confusion. Fully lost and fully present, both directionless.
Justine's use of "self-like" maybe opposite mine. Rather than "a part which acts like self", I think she’s referring to her experience (from Self) being dominated by parts.
📍Justine followed up (and did it!):
It’s been interesting. Good
Had a bit of a revelation this morning, realising he has a similar situation to The Wizard of Oz. Appearing almighty and powerful, but actually behind the curtain, it’s all smoke and mirrors. And he’s exhausted. Weary from the work. Ready to welcome assistance and support
Makes sense to me!
... I have showed up every morning as promised. And tho it still feels hard and a bit clunky to access Self solo, I recognise that if I keep practicing it will get easier, more familiar
And he has appreciated the attention and presence

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56 min
July 14, 2023261: Scott A. revisits
🔸 Fear of grief. "...there's a hole in my chest and people can see inside of it"
📍Scott followed up:
... to help our work together be more effective and go more smoothly. And I was thinking that maybe writing you an email or two in between sessions related to the parts work we’ve done and also my solo work might be a mutually beneficial way to give us both some more insight and information about how the process is going. Let me know if you are ok with this. Again I really appreciate your help!
🔹 Parts:
P: Afraid to grieve. Angry, "don't fuck with me". Looks like brother. Afraid it will all fall apart, then weakness.

P: Agenda parts. Get the process right. Concerned and confused about the work.

E: Weakness, being hit

🎓 What I'd like to do differently:
I was a bit pushy, but overall feel good about this call. I sensed the "feeling lost", the Self not-so-present, and given the context of our prior calls, I wanted us to explore what a more directed path would look like.
Even if/when Scott is lost, I continue to be impressed by his clarity/ability to see, detect, report. If he was lost *and* blinded, I wouldn't feel as safe leading in this way, would have tried something else.
Do differently: should have ended with more of a debrief.
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1 hr 25 min
July 12, 2023260: Genie A. - first call
🔸 Background rage toward injustice is causing problems.
Genie has listened to several Live IFS calls, done some therapy, but never an IFS Session.
🔹 Parts:
P: Blatherer, ranting and raging about justice/fairness when driving, grocery shopping. Seen as a nuisance by:

P: Hates the blatherer. Thinks shes 9,10. Wants to not be forgotten.

P: I handle the shit, don't negotiate with people (or parts)

🎓 What I'd like to do differently:
Goodbyes are tricky indeed. I was laughing to myself when she mentioned "like arranging a second date" (with part) because that's how I think about callers! This is when I envy the pros: "Your insurance covers X sessions, talk to secretary about dates, goodbye!"
Asking "Is there sadness?", was a bit of a gamble. I didn't have to go there, but I wanted this part to see that Genie and I could do more than just pull the rug out from under it, confuse it. Still, I could have let that arrive in its own time.
If I sounded dismissive towards the end re the tech steps: this is Genie's first time using zoom (and Discord)! Awesome! We've talked about it, and I know she's not a techie.
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1 hr 3 min