Loving BDSM

In episode 38, Kayla Lords discusses what submissives and Dominants can do when vanilla life gets in the way and reminds everyone just how normal it is. Everyone has experienced some level of outside interference on their kinky fuckery.

In this episode:

* It’s been a long week and few months with not a lot of kinky fuckery.

* The panic attack during sex didn’t help.

* Sometimes vanilla life knocks you down and D/s takes a back seat. It’s normal.

* Not doing as many kinky things doesn’t make you less D/s.

* Sometimes the smallest things can have a big impact.

* Staying mindful of who and what you are will help you remember what D/s feels like even when life gets crazy.

* Dominants may have specific tones and looks, but so do submissives. Use them.

* More tasks aren’t always the answer for a submissive. Sometimes we just need someone to tell us what to do.

* If you care enough to worry whether you’re still D/s when you can’t be kinky, you probably care enough to make sure you don’t get stuck for too long in vanilla life.

Links from the show:

Three in the Morning

It Wasn’t Music To His Ears

How to Reconnect in Your D/s Relationship (Episode 28)

Become a patron on Patreon

Support the show

Postcard Project

Subscribe on YouTube

Follow us on Instagram

Follow us Twitter

Message or friend us on Fetlife

Contact us!

Listen to the show:

iTunes

Google Play

Spotify

Your favorite podcast app!

Full Transcript:

You’re listening to Loving BDSM podcast: episode 38. Hey, everybody. Kayla Lords here. This week I’m talking about how vanilla life can get in the way of your D/s and reminding everyone, including myself, not to freak out when that happens. Welcome to the Loving BDSM podcast. If this is your first time listening, glad to have you! If you’re back for another week, welcome back! Loving BDSM is produced every Friday for your kinky pleasure and education and show notes are found at kaylalords.com. Come back often and feel free to add the podcast to your favorite RSS feed or iTunes. If you love what you hear, we’d love a good review on iTunes to help other kinksters find us! You can follow me on Twitter @KaylaLords or stalk John Brownstone at southernsirsplace.com. All links are in the show notes.

It’s been a long week in this kinky corner of the world…and none of it’s been kinky! Well, that’s not true. Wednesday night, John Brownstone got a wild hair up his ass and initiated the longest session of rough sex we’ve had in a while.

Kayla Lords and John Brownstone host this week’s episode and talk all about masturbation as a D/s couple!

In this episode:

* We have a new microphone, and it is beautiful! Pictures are below.

* You can still become a kinky patron on Patreon.

* May is Masturbation Month, and you can win sex toys over at the Masturbation Monday site throughout the month.

* Masturbation isn’t just something you do when you’re single.

* Masturbation in a long distance relationship is one of the few ways to get off between visits.

* Masturbating together and watching each other is educational and smokin’ hot.

* Masturbating for your Dominant is on a different level. While it may be uncomfortable at first, it’s worth it!

* Permission to masturbate and orgasm is new for us.

Links from the show:

Masturbation Monday

Become a patron on Patreon

Support the show

Postcard Project

Subscribe on YouTube

Follow us on Instagram

Follow us Twitter

Message or friend us on Fetlife

Contact us!

Listen to the show:

iTunes

Google Play

Spotify

Your favorite podcast app!

Listen on YouTube:

 

Kayla Lords and John Brownstone host this week’s episode and talk all about masturbation as a D/s couple!

In this episode:

* We have a new microphone, and it is beautiful! Pictures are below.

* You can still become a kinky patron on Patreon.

* May is Masturbation Month, and you can win sex toys over at the Masturbation Monday site throughout the month.

* Masturbation isn’t just something you do when you’re single.

* Masturbation in a long distance relationship is one of the few ways to get off between visits.

* Masturbating together and watching each other is educational and smokin’ hot.

* Masturbating for your Dominant is on a different level. While it may be uncomfortable at first, it’s worth it!

* Permission to masturbate and orgasm is new for us.

Links from the show:

Masturbation Monday

Become a patron on Patreon

Support the show

Postcard Project

Subscribe on YouTube

Follow us on Instagram

Follow us Twitter

Message or friend us on Fetlife

Contact us!

Listen to the show:

iTunes

Google Play

Spotify

Your favorite podcast app!

Listen on YouTube:

 

Kayla Lords and John Brownstone come together for another episode together. They keep it short and sweet and discuss a big moment in their lives that created a disconnect and then a reconnect.

In this episode:

* A huge announcement. Big. Major. There is plenty of squealing…or threatening to squeal.

* Before getting to the good part, we had to go through hell with each other.

* Tears, lack of communication – and all of it brought on by trying not to communicate, even in an innocent way.

* When Dominants get stuck in their head and their own negative thoughts or self-doubts, submissives have a responsibility to go get them – respectfully, of course.

* Being in tune with your partner, which comes through constant communication, helps you recognize when things are off so you can help each other get back on course.

* Wait until the very end and you’ll find out why we’ll never forget our special day.

Links from the show:

Become a patron on Patreon

Support the show

Postcard Project

Subscribe on YouTube

Follow us on Instagram

Follow us Twitter

Message or friend us on Fetlife

Contact us!

Listen to the show:

iTunes

Google Play

Spotify

Your favorite podcast app!

Listen on YouTube:

Kayla Lords and John Brownstone come together for another episode together. They keep it short and sweet and discuss a big moment in their lives that created a disconnect and then a reconnect.

In this episode:

* A huge announcement. Big. Major. There is plenty of squealing…or threatening to squeal.

* Before getting to the good part, we had to go through hell with each other.

* Tears, lack of communication – and all of it brought on by trying not to communicate, even in an innocent way.

* When Dominants get stuck in their head and their own negative thoughts or self-doubts, submissives have a responsibility to go get them – respectfully, of course.

* Being in tune with your partner, which comes through constant communication, helps you recognize when things are off so you can help each other get back on course.

* Wait until the very end and you’ll find out why we’ll never forget our special day.

Links from the show:

Become a patron on Patreon

Support the show

Postcard Project

Subscribe on YouTube

Follow us on Instagram

Follow us Twitter

Message or friend us on Fetlife

Contact us!

Listen to the show:

iTunes

Google Play

Spotify

Your favorite podcast app!

Listen on YouTube:

Kayla Lords and John Brownstone team up again for another long episode covering a big topic – your needs in your D/s relationship. What to do when they’re not being met, how to handle it, and when (sometimes) it’s not really about your needs but what your partner needs.

In this episode:

* Shout-outs to Zander and Ruth Kay for their support of the podcast and the high-quality mic fund. More shout-outs coming next week. Yes, you can still pledge your support. We’re about halfway to what we need to make it a reality. Woohoo!

* This week’s episode is inspired by two different questions from submissives about their needs.

* How to handle it when a partner, specifically your Dominant, can’t give you what you want because of major stress in their life.

* What to do when your partner won’t fulfill your needs – or make an attempt – because they don’t want to.

* There are no easy answers, but they all begin with communication.

* When life stress gets in the way of your D/s relationship, holding onto the structure you already have will help you.

* As a submissive, sometimes serving comes in the form of supporting our Dominant through tough times, taking care of things for them when they can’t, and simply being patient.

* Tough situations can happen to you as a couple. Understand that it’s normal for the D/s side of things to slip, but if you can maintain the basic structure of your power exchange, you may be able to cling to that when things get really tough.

* Sometimes it’s not stress that gets in the way. Sometimes your partner doesn’t want to fulfill your needs for any number of reasons.

* First talk. Then watch their reaction. Next decide what to do.

* It’s okay if your desires, wants, and needs don’t match up perfectly with your partner. There are ways around it. Sometimes you don’t have to align perfectly to have a good relationship.

Links from the show:

Support Kayla (and the podcast) on Patreon

A Grieving Dominant and a Submissive’s Needs – from Submissive Guide

Boobs on My Mind

Become a patron on Patreon

Support the show

Postcard Project

Subscribe on YouTube

Follow us on Instagram

Follow us Twitter

Message or friend us on Fetlife

Contact us!

Listen to the show:

iTunes

Google Play

Spotify

Your favorite podcast app!

Listen on YouTube

Kayla Lords and John Brownstone team up again for another long episode covering a big topic – your needs in your D/s relationship. What to do when they’re not being met, how to handle it, and when (sometimes) it’s not really about your needs but what your partner needs.

In this episode:

* Shout-outs to Zander and Ruth Kay for their support of the podcast and the high-quality mic fund. More shout-outs coming next week. Yes, you can still pledge your support. We’re about halfway to what we need to make it a reality. Woohoo!

* This week’s episode is inspired by two different questions from submissives about their needs.

* How to handle it when a partner, specifically your Dominant, can’t give you what you want because of major stress in their life.

* What to do when your partner won’t fulfill your needs – or make an attempt – because they don’t want to.

* There are no easy answers, but they all begin with communication.

* When life stress gets in the way of your D/s relationship, holding onto the structure you already have will help you.

* As a submissive, sometimes serving comes in the form of supporting our Dominant through tough times, taking care of things for them when they can’t, and simply being patient.

* Tough situations can happen to you as a couple. Understand that it’s normal for the D/s side of things to slip, but if you can maintain the basic structure of your power exchange, you may be able to cling to that when things get really tough.

* Sometimes it’s not stress that gets in the way. Sometimes your partner doesn’t want to fulfill your needs for any number of reasons.

* First talk. Then watch their reaction. Next decide what to do.

* It’s okay if your desires, wants, and needs don’t match up perfectly with your partner. There are ways around it. Sometimes you don’t have to align perfectly to have a good relationship.

Links from the show:

Support Kayla (and the podcast) on Patreon

A Grieving Dominant and a Submissive’s Needs – from Submissive Guide

Boobs on My Mind

Become a patron on Patreon

Support the show

Postcard Project

Subscribe on YouTube

Follow us on Instagram

Follow us Twitter

Message or friend us on Fetlife

Contact us!

Listen to the show:

iTunes

Google Play

Spotify

Your favorite podcast app!

Listen on YouTube

Kayla Lords hosts episode 34 and with Mother’s Day right around the corner in the U.S., she’s sharing how you can have kinky fun with sex toys – and gift ideas for the kinky mom in your life.

In this episode:

* A personal request regarding Patreon, support, and making the podcast sound great (jump ahead to minute 10 if you want to skip that part).

* This list isn’t about BDSM gear, instead, it focuses on sex toys and kinky orgasm fun.

* Number one on the list – because it’s a personal favorite: The Original Magic Wand aka the Hitachi

* Number two: Keri by Svakom – the polar opposite of the Hitachi and just as fun to play with.

* Number three: Lava 3 in 1, great for orgasming around a cock

* Number four: Vibease – take your kink out of the bedroom without anyone knowing.

Links from the show:

Support Kayla (and the podcast) on Patreon

8 Things to Give the Kinky Woman in Your Life on Mother’s Day

Original Magic Wand (on Good Vibes – affiliate link)

Keri by Svakom

Lava 3 in 1 by Intimate Melody (on Amazon)

Vibease (affiliate link)

Become a patron on Patreon

Support the show

Postcard Project

Subscribe on YouTube

Follow us on Instagram

Follow us Twitter

Message or friend us on Fetlife

Contact us!

Listen to the show:

iTunes

Google Play

Spotify

Your favorite podcast app!

Listen on YouTube

Full Transcript:

You’re listening to Loving BDSM podcast: episode 34. Hey, everybody.

Kayla Lords here! Today let’s talk about what to get the kinky mom in your life this Mother’s Day! Welcome to the Loving BDSM podcast. If this is your first time listening, glad to have you! If you’re back for another week, welcome back! Loving BDSM is produced every Friday for your kinky pleasure and education and show notes are found at kaylalords.com. Come back often and feel free to add the podcast to your favorite RSS feed or iTunes. If you love what you hear, we’d love a good review on iTunes to help other kinksters find us! You can follow me on Twitter @KaylaLords or stalk John Brow...

Kayla Lords hosts episode 34 and with Mother’s Day right around the corner in the U.S., she’s sharing how you can have kinky fun with sex toys – and gift ideas for the kinky mom in your life.

In this episode:

* A personal request regarding Patreon, support, and making the podcast sound great (jump ahead to minute 10 if you want to skip that part).

* This list isn’t about BDSM gear, instead, it focuses on sex toys and kinky orgasm fun.

* Number one on the list – because it’s a personal favorite: The Original Magic Wand aka the Hitachi

* Number two: Keri by Svakom – the polar opposite of the Hitachi and just as fun to play with.

* Number three: Lava 3 in 1, great for orgasming around a cock

* Number four: Vibease – take your kink out of the bedroom without anyone knowing.

Links from the show:

Support Kayla (and the podcast) on Patreon

8 Things to Give the Kinky Woman in Your Life on Mother’s Day

Original Magic Wand (on Good Vibes – affiliate link)

Keri by Svakom

Lava 3 in 1 by Intimate Melody (on Amazon)

Vibease (affiliate link)

Become a patron on Patreon

Support the show

Postcard Project

Subscribe on YouTube

Follow us on Instagram

Follow us Twitter

Message or friend us on Fetlife

Contact us!

Listen to the show:

iTunes

Google Play

Spotify

Your favorite podcast app!

Listen on YouTube

Full Transcript:

You’re listening to Loving BDSM podcast: episode 34. Hey, everybody.

Kayla Lords here! Today let’s talk about what to get the kinky mom in your life this Mother’s Day! Welcome to the Loving BDSM podcast. If this is your first time listening, glad to have you! If you’re back for another week, welcome back! Loving BDSM is produced every Friday for your kinky pleasure and education and show notes are found at kaylalords.com. Come back often and feel free to add the podcast to your favorite RSS feed or iTunes. If you love what you hear, we’d love a good review on iTunes to help other kinksters find us! You can follow me on Twitter @KaylaLords or stalk John Brow...

Kayla Lords hosts episode 33 and discusses a personal problem that probably affects other kinksters – she’s not able to do some of her favorite kinky things because she’s out of shape.

In this episode:

* Kayla’s new book, Kinky Love Notes, is now out and available for purchase!

* A few disclaimers about body weight, physical fitness, and being fat: Fat bodies are beautiful. You can be healthy and still be overweight. Few of us will ever have the perfect body we imagine, and that’s okay.

* Sometimes kinky fun can’t happen because of physical limitations. You either modify what you’re doing, suffer through the discomfort or pain, and stop doing it completely.

* Kayla and John Brownstone modify kneeling positions and sexual positions all the time. There’s nothing wrong with modifications.

* After a bit weight gain over the past few years, Kayla’s issues are less about her appearance and more about what she can’t do anymore: certain rope bondage, sexual positions, even getting rough is more difficult.

* Once the motivation changed from losing weight or looking good to being stronger and more fit for kinky fuckery, Kayla made changes: eating healthier, starting new exercise programs.

* Kayla believes she’s not the only one who wants to get into shape for kinky fuckery. Frankly, vanilla or kinky, lots of people want to lose weight for all kinds of reasons.

* She went looking for an online group that was kink-friendly and would help with motivation. Not finding one that was a good fit, she created her own on Google+.

* Fit for Kink: a place for motivation, advice, to share successes, and to ask questions. Kinky and kink-friendly fitness/weight loss professionals are encouraged to join.

* Ultimately, it would be nice to have a resource for people to reach out with specific questions about how to become fitter or more flexible in order to get into kinky positions or try new things.

* This group is not a place to pick up your next hook up. It’s safe place for the kinky or kink-friendly among us to find support and motivation.

Links from the show:

Kinky Love Notes: Amazon ♥ Smashwords ♥ iBooks ♥ Barnes & Noble

Make Fat Cry Challenge

Discussing Kayla’s weight in What Negotiations Can Sound Like

Become a patron on Patreon

Support the show

Postcard Project

Subscribe on YouTube

Follow us on Instagram

Follow us Twitter

Message or friend us on Fetlife

Contact us!

Listen to the show: