Make Your Damn Bed

17. People show love in many different ways. At some point, we have to understand that just because someone isn’t capable of communicating love in a healthy way doesn’t mean they don’t love you. But it also doesn’t mean you have to put up with it. 

18. Romantic love is overrated.

19. You’re not better than anyone. Noone is better than you. Being further ahead than someone doesn’t disqualify their wisdom. We have something to learn from and share with every living being on this planet. 

20. We never know where people had leg-ups, and we never know what invisible struggles people are experiencing.

21. People’s responses to your boundaries, wants, needs, values, etc. say more about them than you.

22. Action is the remedy. The key to getting over cycles of worry and rumination and overthinking and fear is to focus on the next best step.

23. Pain, uncertainty, effort are the three unavoidable aspects of reality we will all experience.

24. Shoot your shot. Closed mouths don’t get fed. The squeaky wheel gets the grease. Don’t hesitate to speak up when you have shit to say. 

25. Nobody knows what the fuck they’re doing. Adults are just babies in grown up costumes. Life is hard as hell - you’re not weird for not having a damned clue what the fuck is happening. 

26. It’s never too late. Time is a construct. You can slow it down with intentionality or speed it up with mindless actions like doom scrolling.

27. Get comfortable in silence. Learn when it’s time to mind your business and when it’s time to speak your mind. You’re allowed to take up space but you’re also allowed to sit back and cease to be perceived.  

28. Every single human just wants to feel seen, valued, and loved. Be kind. Be open. Focus on the little moments with people + really listen. However, not all people deserves all access to you.

29. Social media is a tool. It’s also a manipulative marketing addiction machine. Be careful with it. Set boundaries and check in with your emotions during and after your usage. 

30. Future you appreciates your attention, thoughtfulness, and love more than anyone. Intentionally show yourself the same kindness and attention you show to the people you care most about. 

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The opinions expressed by Julie Merica and Make Your Damn Bed Podcast are intended for entertainment purposes only. Make Your Damn Bed podcast is not intended or implied to be a substitute for professional medical advice, diagnosis or treatment.

Read Julie's Medium Blog.

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1. You get one body. Be kind to it. Whatever sucks about it (more than likely) doesn’t compare to what doesn’t suck about it. Learn to appreciate the badass vessel that it is + honor your commitment to it. You’re stuck with it, so you may as well get along with it. 

2. You get one mind. See above.

3. You get one round at this life. How you spend your days is how you spend your life, so don’t put it off waiting for shit to happen to you - instead go out there and make it happen for you. 

4. You are not your thoughts.

5. Your reality isn’t the only reality. All realities are valid despite sometimes conflicting. Work to adopt more neutral perspectives to gain more objective reflections on reality. 

6. Change your perspective, change your experience. You change the outcome by changing your interpretation of the situation. Bringing the right attitude can greatly improve almost any situation.  

7. Slow the fuck down. Timelines are literally bullshit. Don’t rush it. Don’t stress it. Let shit flow and learn to enjoy the between times. 

8. They aren’t mad at you. If you didn’t give them a reason to be mad, and they didn’t directly communicate to you that they were mad at you? Stop worrying. 99% of the time they’re busy + distracted + forgot to respond. Relax. Unless you fucked up, stop feeling bad for shit you didn’t do. 

9. In fact, nobody is paying attention to you as closely as you think they are. Your life is yours. Write your story, don’t stress over the critics. As long as you’re not hurting anyone else, you’re allowed to do whatever the fuck you want, whenever the fuck you want. 

10. You are not unlovable. You are a badass human. You have had positive impacts on humans you literally didn’t remember existing + the world is genuinely a better place simply because you’re in it. You haven’t yet met all the people who will love you.

11. You don’t need to work so hard to be “liked”. Protect your peace, set appropriate boundaries, say no, but be kind + vulnerable + honest. The best way to be a crowd pleaser is not to be a people pleaser.

12. Leave shit better than you found it.

13. Internal peace is more rewarding and sustainable than happiness.

14. Your looks are the least interesting thing about you. 

15. Practice pausing before responding. Automatic reactions are human, but they’re typically not reflective of our reality. Take an extra second to think. 

16.Giving yourself the love/attention/value you seek from others is the key to being open to actually receiving the love you seek. 

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The opinions expressed by Julie Merica and Make Your Damn Bed Podcast are intended for entertainment purposes only. Make Your Damn Bed podcast is not intended or implied to be a substitute for professional medical advice, diagnosis or treatment.

Read Julie's Medium Blog.

Support JULIE (and the show!)

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Here's the 2024 compilation of articles from Vox, Atlantic, Medium, Linked in, and NYT, offering their advice from 2024. Stay tuned for mine!

SOURCES:

https://www.nytimes.com/2024/12/28/briefing/your-best-advice-of-2024.html

https://www.theatlantic.com/newsletters/archive/2024/12/most-memorable-advice-2024/681125/

https://medium.com/mr-plan-publication/heres-some-advice-for-2024-if-you-re-in-your-early-20s-521cd17f09f0

https://www.vox.com/even-better/391465/best-expert-advice-relationships-friendship-mental-health-2024

https://www.linkedin.com/pulse/5-golden-pieces-advice-make-2024-your-best-year-yet-jakub-szrodt-fwqze

RESOURCES:

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The opinions expressed by Julie Merica and Make Your Damn Bed Podcast are intended for entertainment purposes only. Make Your Damn Bed podcast is not intended or implied to be a substitute for professional medical advice, diagnosis or treatment.

Read Julie's Medium Blog.

Support JULIE (and the show!)

Support + get some bonus stuff over on PATREON.

Get an occasional personal email from me: www.makeyourdamnbedpodcast.com

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I'm still a little under the weather but tomorrow I'm sharing advice from 2024 in preparation for 2025 so today, I thought I'd do a little recap of last year's episode featuring advice from 2023.

The source: https://www.vox.com/even-better/23989636/best-expert-advice-2023

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The opinions expressed by Julie Merica and Make Your Damn Bed Podcast are intended for entertainment purposes only. Make Your Damn Bed podcast is not intended or implied to be a substitute for professional medical advice, diagnosis or treatment.

Read Julie's Medium Blog.

Support JULIE (and the show!)

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Gratitude is a practice that gains momentum as we do it. Slowing down takes brain power, which forces us to remember that this is worth the extra effort. Conscious awareness can transform routine into ritual. Slowing down frees up some time and opportunity to notice the magic.

Rushing adds an extra layer of stress that causes chaos to snowball.

Slowing down adds a buffer of leisure that causes peace to snowball.

Sometimes the extra effort is worth it because it forces you to appreciate all the effort, not just the extra bits.

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The opinions expressed by Julie Merica and Make Your Damn Bed Podcast are intended for entertainment purposes only. Make Your Damn Bed podcast is not intended or implied to be a substitute for professional medical advice, diagnosis or treatment.

Read Julie's Medium Blog.

Support JULIE (and the show!)

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Another re-release for the holiday. Hope you enjoy!

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The opinions expressed by Julie Merica and Make Your Damn Bed Podcast are intended for entertainment purposes only. Make Your Damn Bed podcast is not intended or implied to be a substitute for professional medical advice, diagnosis or treatment.

Read Julie's Medium Blog.

Support JULIE (and the show!)

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Another re-release for the holiday. Hope you enjoy!

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The opinions expressed by Julie Merica and Make Your Damn Bed Podcast are intended for entertainment purposes only. Make Your Damn Bed podcast is not intended or implied to be a substitute for professional medical advice, diagnosis or treatment.

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1. Let go of winning. 

2. Share your story and invite others to do the same. 

3. Ask questions to understand. 

4. Acknowledge the role of emotions. 

5. When possible, seek common ground. 

BY: https://greatergood.berkeley.edu/article/item/five_ways_to_have_more_constructive_disagreements 

• H = Hedge your claims,
• E = Emphasize agreement.
• A = Acknowledge the opposing perspective.
• R = Reframing to the positive.

BY: https://greatergood.berkeley.edu/article/item/four_steps_to_help_people_feel_listened_to 

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The opinions expressed by Julie Merica and Make Your Damn Bed Podcast are intended for entertainment purposes only. Make Your Damn Bed podcast is not intended or implied to be a substitute for professional medical advice, diagnosis or treatment.

Read Julie's Medium Blog.

Support JULIE (and the show!)

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(this is a re-release) If your inner voice manifested into a human form today, would you be friends with it? I think a lot of us would have to teach our new friend some manners before going into the real world. Which is wild to think about - that the most common voice, our most reliable narrator, our internal operator is kind of an asshole? Is really sad to me. If the voice we live with, and listen to the most, is not nice? What does that mean?

Negative self talk quickly trains your brain to believe that the criticisms of it are true. This is why it’s so crucial to train your brain that the good shit can be true, instead. If you cuss yourself out every time you drop something, or call yourself names when you make mistakes, I highly recommend this tactic: 

EVERY time you catch yourself thinking or saying something negative about yourself (or someone else) you MUST say OUT LOUD two unique positive things to counteract that thought. And take a second to absorb it and try to believe it. Train your brain that there are alternate ways of thinking and believing and perceiving. I fully recognize that reframing isn’t a miracle cure for everyone and everything, but this one, with enough practice and redirection - does work. And the less we complain, the less we see the world as a thing to complain about, and find a lot of the shit we were complaining about was not that big of a deal to begin with. Notice it. 

Then replace it with more positive thoughts. 

Then reward yourself with a lil hell yeah. 

And if this sounds hokey and too much for a simple thought - the magic of the practice is because it IS too much, it doesn’t reallllly take that long to stick in theory. Think about it, nobody is gonna wanna self correct and think of new original and unique compliments all day, especially if we struggle with positive self talk, so it’s a real solid rebuttal strategy! 

The brain is a giant computer. 

Computer needs updates + reprogramming occasionally. 

We should be keeping up with this shit anyway. We need to “sleep and shut down” to keep the battery healthy. But this is a great way to do so. 

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The opinions expressed by Julie Merica and Make Your Damn Bed Podcast are intended for entertainment purposes only. Make Your Damn Bed podcast is not intended or implied to be a substitute for professional medical advice, diagnosis or treatment.

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"Perfectionism is just control dressed up in a different costume." - Seth Hughes

"Perfection is just another attempt to tidy up a scruffy universe. You see what this world needs is humanity. Being rough around the edges. ANd a beautiful sustainable restorative and regenerative human culture understands how to balance poles not tries to make one ond of the polarity beat the other." - Seth Hughes

Seth Hughes Tiktok: https://www.tiktok.com/@_sethhughes/video/7449752069940055329

Brene Brown: https://brenebrown.com/art/tgoi-perfectionism/

Elizabeth Gilbert: https://www.elizabethgilbert.com/books/big-magic/

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The opinions expressed by Julie Merica and Make Your Damn Bed Podcast are intended for entertainment purposes only. Make Your Damn Bed podcast is not intended or implied to be a substitute for professional medical advice, diagnosis or treatment.

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