“Safety is not just the absence of threat.” - Sharla Snow

Do you feel safe in your relationship? Does your spouse feel safe?

What does ‘safety’ mean in this context? 

Well, more than just physical safety, it involves feeling safe, connected, and like your walls are down when you’re together.

Safety in relationships cannot be overlooked. 

A person’s perceived safety is the foundation for healthy connection. And just because you love someone, it doesn’t always mean you feel safe with them.

In this episode, Sharla and Robert are going to dive into the science behind these feelings of safety [or threat] and provide tips for creating safety in your relationships.

Resources Mentioned In This Episode:

• Polyvagal Theory - https://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pmc/articles/PMC3108032/#:~:text=The%20polyvagal%20theory%20proposes%20that,substrates%20for%20adaptive%20behavioral%20strategies
• Recommended reading - https://a.co/d/bq822Bs

MYM Resources:

• 8 Pillars Of An Exceptional Marriage - ​​https://masteryourmarriagepodcast.com/8-pillars
• Become FREE of resentment ➡️  https://forgive.masteryourmarriagepodcast.com/

Connect with Robert and Sharla Snow:

• Website: https://masteryourmarriagepodcast.com/
• Instagram - https://www.instagram.com/masteryourmarriage/
• Facebook - https://facebook.com/masteryourmarriage
• TikTok - https://www.tiktok.com/@masteryourmarriage

It’s no surprise that physical touch is an important aspect of relationships – but did you know that it has numerous benefits, including reducing stress, improving bonding, and regulating the nervous system?

So why do so many people struggle with physical touch? (Even when it’s not sexual…)

Well, your childhood experiences can shape your relationship with touch, and if you’re experiencing difficulty with physical touch, it is important to reflect on and heal any past wounds or conditioning related to touch.

This episode will help you understand where to start and give you some practical steps for creating a safe space with your partner.

Resources Mentioned In This Episode:

• A Study on Social Contact https://pubmed.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/17201784/ 

MYM Resources:

• 8 Pillars Of An Exceptional Marriage - ​​https://masteryourmarriagepodcast.com/8-pillars
• Become FREE of resentment ➡️  https://forgive.masteryourmarriagepodcast.com/

Connect with Robert and Sharla Snow:

• Website: https://masteryourmarriagepodcast.com/
• Instagram - https://www.instagram.com/masteryourmarriage/
• Facebook - https://facebook.com/masteryourmarriage
• TikTok - https://www.tiktok.com/@masteryourmarriage

Mentioned in this episode:

Research Interview Request

Before we get back to the episode, I want to share something quick.

“All successful businesses have a vision statement. In businesses, if we don’t have a goal, it’s just a wish or a hope. And hope is not a good business strategy. Much the same in our relationships.” - Robert Snow

In marriage, like in life, success takes intentionality. Sure, we have ‘chemistry’ and that’s a beautiful, natural way in which we connect. But once life kicks in with annoyances, differences, and the general challenges of being human, chemistry fades, and what you have left is two people who need to figure out how to make it work.

A vision statement for your marriage ensures that you’re both on the same page about where you want your relationship to go and what you’ll be doing to get there.

Tune in to learn where to start, what to include, and to get inspired by ideas that will refresh your marriage in 2024.

MYM Resources:

• 8 Pillars Of An Exceptional Marriage - ​​https://masteryourmarriagepodcast.com/8-pillars
• Make 2024 the year that you let go ➡️  https://forgive.masteryourmarriagepodcast.com/

Connect with Robert and Sharla Snow:

• Website: https://masteryourmarriagepodcast.com/
• Instagram - https://www.instagram.com/masteryourmarriage/
• Facebook - https://facebook.com/masteryourmarriage
• TikTok - https://www.tiktok.com/@masteryourmarriage

You know that feeling of growing apart from your spouse over the years, where intimacy and passion seem to fade into the background as life gets busy?

In this episode, Robert and Sharla join Hailey Babcock of The Body Pod to provide a glimpse of hope in their discussion of rebuilding sex, intimacy, and friendship in marriage. They share from their own experience turning things around after a rough patch, and offer practical steps like establishing daily rituals, prioritizing quality time together, and learning each other's love languages to rekindle that closeness. 

Reconnecting at the deepest level will require developing self-awareness and emotional maturity to be truly vulnerable with your partner - this will allow intimacy to blossom once again.

Resources Mentioned In This Episode:

• Passionate Marriage by Dr. David Schnarch -  https://a.co/d/4CPF8Uk
• Intimacy & Desire by Dr. David Schnarch - https://a.co/d/4f6r0hI 
• The 5 Love Languages by Gary Chapman - https://a.co/d/4Z4rsZI 
• Everything Isn't Terrible by Kathleen Smith - https://a.co/d/9if0o30 

MYM Resources:

• 8 Pillars Of An Exceptional Marriage - ​​https://masteryourmarriagepodcast.com/8-pillars
• Become FREE of resentment ➡️  https://forgive.masteryourmarriagepodcast.com/

Connect with Hailey Babcock:

• Instagram - https://www.instagram.com/haileyhappensfitness?igsh=OGQ5ZDc2ODk2ZA==

Connect with Robert and Sharla Snow:

• Website: https://masteryourmarriagepodcast.com/
• Instagram - https://www.instagram.com/masteryourmarriage/
• Facebook - https://facebook.com/masteryourmarriage
• TikTok - https://www.tiktok.com/@masteryourmarriage

Mentioned in this episode:

Research Interview Request

Before we get back to the episode, I want to share something quick.

When we come to the seemingly inevitable place in our marriage where the spark is just gone, is there a possibility of revitalizing eroticism and passion back into the relationship?

ABSOLUTELY.

There’s a crazy myth out there that eroticism dies over time – like it’s something that can’t be controlled. But the truth is, you have a choice to rekindle that sexual desire and excitement.

The key to reviving eroticism lies in coming alive within yourself and letting go of resentment, anxieties, insecurities, and self-doubt. These things are often overlooked as a source for a lost spark but will often be the root of disconnection in the bedroom.

But by prioritizing great sex and being open to creativity and imagination, couples can experience a higher level of satisfaction and a thriving relationship. Tune in to get inspired about your next sexual encounter with your spouse.

Resources Mentioned In This Episode:

• Passionate Marriage by Dr. David Schnarch -  https://a.co/d/4CPF8Uk
• Orgasm Study - https://pubmed.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/28213723/
• Women Masturbation Study - https://www.tandfonline.com/doi/full/10.1080/0092623X.2011.628440
• The Hite Report: A National Study of Female Sexuality - https://a.co/d/4ZlBFOQ 

MYM Resources:

• 8 Pillars Of An Exceptional Marriage - ​​https://masteryourmarriagepodcast.com/8-pillars
• Become FREE of resentment ➡️  https://forgive.masteryourmarriagepodcast.com/

Connect with Robert and Sharla Snow:

• Website: https://masteryourmarriagepodcast.com/
• Instagram - https://www.instagram.com/masteryourmarriage/
• Facebook - https://facebook.com/masteryourmarriage
• TikTok - https://www.tiktok.com/@masteryourmarriage

If you’ve pressed play on this episode today because you’re struggling with sex in your marriage in some form, please know, you’re not alone.

A lot of people and a lot of couples experience difficulties with sex.

The good news is you’re here, and this episode is going to help you overcome a lot of the mental barriers that can actually be creating this challenge.

“Many of the words or thoughts we use come from societal myths. But as these ideas are repeated over and over in the psyche, they will determine whether sex becomes the source of joy and mutual pleasure, or whether they become a source of disappointment and resentment.” - Robert Snow



Resources for an improved sexual experience:

• The Vagina Bible - https://a.co/d/h5ACDIx
• Come As You Are: Revised and Updated - https://a.co/d/44fwQIA

MYM Resources:

• 8 Pillars Of An Exceptional Marriage - ​​https://masteryourmarriagepodcast.com/8-pillars
• Become FREE of resentment ➡️  https://forgive.masteryourmarriagepodcast.com/

Connect with Robert and Sharla Snow:

• Website: https://masteryourmarriagepodcast.com/
• Instagram - https://www.instagram.com/masteryourmarriage/
• Facebook - https://facebook.com/masteryourmarriage
• TikTok - https://www.tiktok.com/@masteryourmarriag

Mentioned in this episode:

Research Interview Request

Before we get back to the episode, I want to share something quick.

Break free from resentment today ➡️  https://forgive.masteryourmarriagepodcast.com/

So you’ve heard about the 5 love languages. But have you heard about meta-emotions?

Simply put, meta-emotion is how we feel about our feelings.

And mismatching meta-emotions (how you feel about emotions vs how your partner feels about emotions) is probably the single most common reason couples present for counseling. 

Like love languages, when your partner speaks a different emotional language than you, it can cause a lot of problems in the relationship and create disconnection. It tends to lead to comments and thoughts like, “You never listen to me,” or, “They just don’t get me.”

A common mismatch of meta-emotions represents this way: one person is expressive about their emotions and the other might be more dismissive, just trying to repress any negativity.

Tune in to better understand where you lie on this spectrum of meta-emotion and how to coexist in these differences.

“Differing emotional philosophies could be at the root of many of your relationship issues.” - Sharla

MYM Resources:

• 8 Pillars Of An Exceptional Marriage - ​​https://masteryourmarriagepodcast.com/8-pillars
• Let this $20 Forgiveness course transform your marriage ➡️  https://forgive.masteryourmarriagepodcast.com/

Connect with Robert and Sharla Snow:

• Website: https://masteryourmarriagepodcast.com/
• Instagram - https://www.instagram.com/masteryourmarriage/
• Facebook - https://facebook.com/masteryourmarriage
• TikTok - https://www.tiktok.com/@masteryourmarriage

In this powerful episode, Antonio Neves sits down with Robert and Sharla Snow to discuss the secrets to relationship success. 

Some of the key topics covered include:

• Marriage phases and how to grow through them
• Red flags like contempt, complacency, and ignoring bids for connection 
• Practical ways to put your spouse first, like daily rituals and prioritizing quality time
• Developing marital fitness with stress-reducing conversations and acts of service
• The importance of managing conflict positively and growing together
• Speaking words of appreciation daily to counteract the toxicity of contempt

If you're looking to strengthen your relationship, tune into this must-listen episode for evidence-based insights and action steps you can start applying today.

Resources Mentioned In This Episode:

• Gottman Research - https://www.gottman.com/about/research/ 

MYM Resources:

• 8 Pillars Of An Exceptional Marriage - ​​https://masteryourmarriagepodcast.com/8-pillars
• Become FREE of resentment ➡️  https://forgive.masteryourmarriagepodcast.com/

Connect with Antonio Neves:

• Website - https://theantonioneves.com/ 
• Instagram - https://www.instagram.com/theantonioneves/ 

Connect with Robert and Sharla Snow:

• Website: https://masteryourmarriagepodcast.com/
• Instagram - https://www.instagram.com/masteryourmarriage/
• Facebook - https://facebook.com/masteryourmarriage
• TikTok - https://www.tiktok.com/@masteryourmarriage

Mentioned in this episode:

Research Interview Request

Before we get back to the episode, I want to share something quick.

💔Don’t let resentment fester - overcome it with these tools: https://forgive.masteryourmarriagepodcast.com/ 

Conflict is inevitable.

And if we can’t avoid it, what should we do instead? Shall we get in the fetal position and rock ourselves to sleep? Pretend conflict doesn't exist?

Obviously not, guys. This is called Master Your Marriage, not Mess Up Your Marriage.

So if we know that conflict is inevitable, we know there’s a certain level of acceptance that we need to grow in. But what else can we do to make sure that the conflict doesn’t become ‘the end’?

Well, we practice repair.

Taking responsibility for your role in conflict is going to be key. But then you’re also going to want to practice some crucial friendship principles that are going to help lighten the mood and rebuild connection.

Tune in to learn how to repair the ruptures in your relationship.

In this Episode:

- Why relationships are a system set up for failure

- Why and how failure is the solution

-The ability to repair is the key for success in a relationship

- Asking your partner about offenses

- The secret weapon of repair

- How to remain good friends

And more!

Resources Mentioned In This Episode:

• The Science of Trust:  https://a.co/d/d9zT2Mu 
• Mother/child study: https://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pmc/articles/PMC2654842/
• How to Work Through a Past Fight - https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/how-to-work-through-a-past-fight/id1669788601?i=1000611554391 or on YouTube: https://youtu.be/B8th4hCRtTk?si=7xpmfd-XuDD8olHk 

MYM Resources:

• 8 Pillars Of An Exceptional Marriage - ​​https://masteryourmarriagepodcast.com/8-pillars
• Become FREE of resentment ➡️  https://forgive.masteryourmarriagepodcast.com/

Connect with Robert and Sharla Snow:

• Website: https://masteryourmarriagepodcast.com/
• Instagram - https://www.instagram.com/masteryourmarriage/
• Facebook - https://facebook.com/masteryourmarriage
• TikTok - https://www.tiktok.com/@masteryourmarriage

Mentioned in this episode:

Research Interview Request

Before we get back to the episode, I want to share something quick.

“Needing may feel like wanting, but it comes from the worst in us. It comes from a poorly developed sense of self, where we need our partner to soothe our anxiety, boost our ego, and constantly agree with us.” - Sharla

Ouch, that hurts, doesn’t it?

We all know that being called “needy” comes with a negative connotation. But you’re not needy, right? You’re just expressing your preferences and your desires…

Well, let’s see how many times we’ve probably been guilty of turning our wants into a NEED…

Have you ever:

• Stayed angry and miserable so you can keep your partner miserable?
• People-pleased yourself into resentment when you’re not getting praised for your deeds?
• Required tons of praise and compliments to feel loved?
• Withheld doing something until your partner did their part?

Don’t worry, it’s in all of us. We all want to be wanted. But when we don’t get what we want, it can become a slippery slope for Need to come bursting in making demands.

The good news is, there’s a way to overcome the neediness and mature into loving relationships that honor both individuals involved. Tune in to learn how.

“This is also why the level of intimacy you will have in your relationship WILL be directly correlated to how much discomfort you can handle.” - Robert Snow

In this Episode:

- Needing vs. Wanting

- Examples of neediness

- How Wanting differs from Needing

- How to know if you’re wanting or needing

- Disillusionment — really knowing your partner

- Love is about choosing

- How to shift your needs to wants and choosing

Resources Mentioned In This Episode:

• Everything isn’t Terrible by Dr. Kathleen Smith https://a.co/d/ilXvpfg 

MYM Resources:

• 8 Pillars Of An Exceptional Marriage - ​​https://masteryourmarriagepodcast.com/8-pillars
• Become FREE of resentment ➡️  https://forgive.masteryourmarriagepodcast.com/

Connect with Robert and Sharla Snow:

• Website: https://masteryourmarriagepodcast.com/
• Instagram - https://www.instagram.com/masteryourmarriage/
• Facebook - https://facebook.com/masteryourmarriage
• TikTok - https://www.tiktok.com/@masteryourmarriage

Mentioned in this episode:

Research Interview Request

Before we get back to the episode, I want to share something quick.