What if the patterns you keep trying to escape are patterns some unconscious part of you is still invested in?

In this provocative and deeply philosophical episode of Coached with Coach Keren, Coach Keren Eldad sits down with Carolyn Elliott for a conversation about shadow work, suffering, individuation, spirituality, power, and the unconscious pleasures hidden beneath human behavior.

Carolyn - bestselling author of Existential Kink and founder of Immortal College - shares the personal experiences that led her to develop one of the most confronting frameworks in modern personal development: the idea that we may unconsciously derive pleasure from the very situations we consciously reject.

Together, Keren and Carolyn explore the relationship between shadow integration and freedom, why high achievers often remain trapped in repetitive cycles, and how true transformation begins when we stop performing healing and start telling the truth.

In this episode:

• What “existential kink” actually means
• Why the unconscious creates recurring life patterns
• The hidden pleasure inside suffering, struggle, and martyrdom
• Carolyn’s journey through addiction, recovery, and depth psychology
• Why many people use spirituality as another achievement identity
• The difference between performative healing and true integration
• The role of humility, groundedness, and honesty in real growth
• The connection between suffering and awakening
• The danger of bypassing discomfort in coaching and personal growth
• Why freedom often begins by embracing the parts of ourselves we fear most

Mentioned in the episode:

• Existential Kink by Carolyn Elliott
• Awaken Your Genius by Carolyn Elliott
• Answer to Job by Carl G Jung
• The Way of Integrity by Martha Beck
• Kabbalah (Kabbalah.com), individuation, and mystical Christianity

Connect with Carolyn Elliott:

• ExistentialKink.com
• Immortal College

If this episode resonated with you, share it with someone who is ready to stop running from themselves — and start becoming whole.

Mentioned in this episode:

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