In this episode, you'll discover:

• Why the survival patterns you developed around sexuality are the exact same patterns keeping you stuck everywhere else - and how seeing this connection sets you free

• The difference between using sex to escape pain versus using it to heal pain, and how to tell which side you're actually on

• How to separate your authentic desires from the stories you inherited, so you can finally make choices based on who you are instead of who you think you should be

What if the most dangerous thing you could do is keep pretending you're fine?

Let's get real for a second. Seventy percent of women have never had an orgasm during partnered sex. Not sometimes. Never. Meanwhile, boys learn by age seven that they're responsible for everyone else's pleasure. We're all walking around carrying sexual shame that doesn't even belong to us, wondering why intimacy feels like performing instead of connecting.

I spent years thinking something was wrong with me because I couldn't just magically know what felt good. Turns out, most of us are operating from scripts written by people who never lived in our bodies. Religious purity culture tells us desire is dangerous. Hook-up culture treats sex like a sport. Neither one teaches us how to actually connect with another human being.

Want to know what's really messed up? The World Health Organization says sexual health is fundamental to human wellbeing. Yet we spend more time learning algebra than understanding our own anatomy. We memorize the periodic table but stay clueless about consent. We study dead languages but can't speak the language of our own pleasure.

This stuff ripples out everywhere. When you disconnect from what you actually want sexually, you lose touch with what you want period. You become someone who says yes when you mean no. Who gives until you're empty. Who performs instead of living. This isn't just about bedroom problems. It's about life problems.

Today our guest is Lauren Elise Rogers, a Certified Holistic Sexuality Educator and Embodied Intimacy & Relationship Coach, celebrated for her warm and approachable style. Her holistic and embodied approach to education and coaching is deeply rooted in her own pain to purpose journey, bringing an empathetic and non-judgmental approach that empowers clients to take ownership of their pleasure and grow in confidence and connection.

Links from the episode:

• Show Notes: mindlove.com/410
• Join the Mind Love Collective
• Sign up for The Morning Mind Love for short daily notes to wake up inspired
• Support Mind Love Sponsors

See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

In this episode, you'll learn:

• How to catch yourself projecting your definitions onto others and create real understanding instead

• Why the stories you tell yourself about tough experiences keep you stuck, and how reframing heavy words unlocks healing

• The communication patterns that show when you're assuming versus getting curious, and how this one shift transforms everything

Have you ever had someone tell you to "just have faith" and wanted to punch them in the face? Or maybe you started consoling someone about their divorce, only to realize they threw a party to celebrate and you're standing there like an idiot with your sympathy face on?

Here's what nobody talks about: we're all walking around with these secret dictionaries in our heads. Same words, completely different meanings. And we're out here having conversations thinking we're on the same page when really, we might as well be speaking Martian to each other.

Your brain collects definitions your whole life based on what you've actually lived through. So when someone who grew up in chaos hears "boundaries," they might think about walls and isolation. But someone else hears the same word and thinks about self-respect and clarity. When someone says "vulnerability," one person pictures weakness and danger, while another sees courage and connection.

Ancient wisdom traditions understood that language shapes reality. The stories we tell ourselves and the meanings we attach to our experiences literally create our world. When you're unconscious about the definitions you're carrying around, you're operating on autopilot, assuming everyone else sees through your lens.

And here's the part that'll change your life: the meaning you've been carrying around for a word that causes you pain? That's not carved in stone. You can consciously choose to reframe your relationship with any concept. Sometimes healing starts with something as simple as realizing that your definition of "selfish" might actually be someone else's definition of "self-care."

What if the words that have been limiting you could become the keys to your freedom?

Today our guest is Donna Reed, a 67-year-old author who discovered the power of conscious language while writing a book exploring different meanings behind everyday words. Her journey reveals how our relationship with language evolves as we grow, and why getting intentional about communication changes everything.

Links from the episode:

• Show Notes: mindlove.com/409
• Join the Mind Love Collective
• Sign up for The Morning Mind Love for short daily notes to wake up inspired
• Support Mind Love Sponsors

See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

Questioning everything? Feeling more than you can explain?

You're not crazy. You're waking up.

Mind Love is where we get curious about consciousness without losing our sense of humor. Hosted by Melissa Monte—a storyteller, speaker, and deep-feeler who's been through some sh*t and came out wiser—this show blends neuroscience, soul work, and the kind of conversations that shift something real inside you.

If you're craving depth without the dogma and growth without the guru voice, this is your place.

Over 500 episodes. Top 0.5% globally. New episodes every Tuesday.

Start here.

Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

In this episode, you'll learn:

• Why validation has nothing to do with agreement and why that distinction saves relationships
• How to stay connected to people even when their choices make no sense to you
• How to validate others while holding onto your own truth and boundaries

What if every conflict you've ever had was actually your soul trying to teach you something about unconditional love?

I know how that sounds. But stick with me here.

We throw around the word "validation" like it's some basic relationship skill. Like it's about saying "that sounds hard" when someone's having a bad day. But real validation? The kind that actually transforms relationships and heals trauma? That's something entirely different.

It's about learning to see someone so completely that they remember who they really are underneath all their defenses and patterns and pain. It's about holding space for another person's truth without abandoning your own. It's about loving someone exactly as they are while they're making choices you can't understand.

Today we're talking to Caroline Fleck, a psychologist who spent over ten years mastering validation through dialectical behavior therapy. She's worked with everyone from people in crisis to couples ready to call it quits. She's discovered that this one skill can keep relationships intact even when you're on opposite sides of everything.

Links from the episode:

• Show Notes: mindlove.com/408
• Join the Mind Love Collective
• Sign up for The Morning Mind Love for short daily notes to wake up inspired
• Support Mind Love Sponsors

See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

Here's what you'll learn in this episode: 

• The latest neuroscience on how alcohol hijacks your brain's reward system and why willpower alone never works 

• A four-step method for rewiring cravings and handling social pressure without feeling deprived 

• How to shift from seeing alcohol-free living as deprivation to embracing it as the ultimate competitive advantage

What if the very thing you think is helping you relax is actually stealing your energy, your clarity, and your connection to the people you love most?

Last week, I was talking to my neighbor Sarah about her morning routine. She was glowing – literally glowing – and I asked what she'd been doing differently. "I stopped drinking," she said simply. "Three months ago." Then she told me something that stopped me in my tracks: "I didn't realize how much mental space alcohol was taking up until it was gone. I used to spend so much energy thinking about when I'd have my next glass of wine, whether I'd had too much the night before, making excuses for why I deserved a drink after a hard day. When all that noise stopped, it was like someone turned the volume down on anxiety I didn't even know I had."

Sarah isn't alone. Something is shifting in our culture around alcohol, and the research is finally catching up to what millions of people are experiencing firsthand. A recent study of over 1,700 people found that even moderate drinking – as little as eight drinks per week – increases your risk of brain lesions by 133%. 

But here's what really gets me excited: the research on brain recovery is stunning. When people stop drinking, their brains begin reversing damage in as little as two weeks. We're talking about improved cognitive function, better sleep quality, and what scientists are calling "executive function restoration" – basically, your brain's ability to make decisions, control impulses, and focus dramatically improves.

Today our guest is James Swanwick. He's the founder of Alcohol Free Lifestyle, author of the book "Clear," and has been alcohol-free for over 15 years. His neuroscience-based approach was recently validated in a University of Washington study showing a 98% reduction in drinking among participants.

Links from the episode:

Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

In this episode, you'll learn:

What if everything you've been taught about death is wrong?

I was nineteen when I watched my father dying of cancer. His nickname had been Buff Bob, and now he looked like a child. Half the weight I was used to seeing, struggling to sip peach nectar from a can with a straw. I sat there watching this man who had been so strong become so fragile, and I had zero tools to process what was happening.

My religious upbringing talked about heaven and hell, but it was full of holes and doubts that provided no comfort when I needed it most. So I just didn't know. And that not knowing made everything harder.

That experience shaped me in ways I didn't understand for years. It wasn't just the grief. It was the complete lack of preparation, the feeling that we were all just fumbling through this massive moment without any roadmap or wisdom to guide us.

We live in a culture that has made death the ultimate taboo. We push it into the shadows while desperately clinging to youth and pretending like our own mortality is somehow optional.

Today our guest is Suzanne O'Brien, a former hospice and oncology nurse who has been with over a thousand people at the end of life. She's the founder of the Doula Givers Institute and author of "The Good Death," and she's dedicated her life to bringing back the sacredness of dying well.

Links from the episode:

Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

In this episode, you'll learn:

Are you tired of being tired for no good reason?

You know what I'm talking about. You wake up already feeling behind. You've got your green smoothie, your meditation app, your gratitude journal. You're doing everything the self-help gurus tell you to do. But you still feel like you're dragging yourself through quicksand most days.

I spent years thinking I was broken. Maybe I had chronic fatigue. Maybe I needed therapy. Maybe I was just one of those people who wasn't meant to have energy or motivation.

Then I learned something that changed everything. And it's going to piss you off when you realize how simple it is.

Your energy isn't missing. It's being stolen. By your own brain.

Every time you think about that thing your ex said five years ago and feel that familiar sting? That's energy being used right now. Every time you start a new project and immediately think about all the ways it could fail? That's energy being diverted to keep old fears alive.

You're literally funding your own limitation. Like paying monthly rent on a house you don't even live in anymore.

Today our guest is Reg Malhotra. He's spent years studying why some people seem to have endless energy for their goals while others struggle to get out of their own way. Through his work at Neuromasters Academy, he's helped thousands of people identify exactly where their energy is going and take it back.

Links from the episode:

Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

In this episode, you'll learn:

Have you ever found yourself dating the same type of person over and over again, wondering why you keep attracting the wrong people? Or maybe you're clear on what you don't want, but when someone asks what you're actually looking for, you draw a blank?

I used to think that getting specific about what I wanted in a partner would somehow shrink my dating pool. Like I was being too picky or limiting my options. But what I didn't realize was how much time and emotional energy I was wasting on people who were never going to be a good fit. I was operating from this scarcity mindset, thinking I had to keep my options wide open, when really I was just keeping myself wide open to disappointment.

Here's what's wild—recent studies show that people who have a clear vision of what they want in a relationship are 40% more likely to find lasting love within two years. Meanwhile, those who cast a wide net and hope for the best often find themselves stuck in the same frustrating patterns for years.

Today our guest is Marni Kinrys, creator of the Wing Girl Method and a dating expert who's been helping people find love for over 21 years. She's worked with hundreds of thousands of clients and has a unique perspective on what actually works in modern dating versus what we think should work.

Links from the episode:

Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

In this episode, you’ll learn:

Isn’t it kind of messed up that so many of us were traumatized as kids by the idea of eternal hell?

We were just trying to be good. Trying to make sense of the world. But instead of being taught how to connect with love, we were taught how to fear God.

“Narrow is the gate.”
Only 144,000 get in.
Lukewarm believers will be spit out.
Many are called, but few are chosen.

So you start asking: Am I one of the chosen? And if I am… how do I know I’m choosing this? How does that even make sense?

You try to believe hard enough. You pray the right way. You do everything you're told. But deep down, you still feel unsafe. Still wonder if you’ll be punished forever just for getting it wrong.

John Rainey was a teaching pastor who spent decades inside the system—until one question about eternal hell cracked it wide open. What followed was a complete spiritual awakening and a return to divine love, free from fear.

He’s the author of Finding God, Losing God, Becoming God and host of the podcast House of Saint Rainey.

Links from the episode:

Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

In this episode, you’ll learn:

You ever feel like connection shouldn't be this hard?

We’re wired for it. Built to bond. Yet somehow, we live in a world where loneliness feels like a personal failure—like if you're not constantly fulfilled by your partner, your kids, your group chat, your job, something must be wrong with you.

We love to look back and pretend we had it better before. When moms baked sourdough and kids played outside and families sat down for dinner without a single screen in sight. But ask your parents if they ever felt truly seen. Ask your grandparents if they ever really knew their own parents. The truth is, disconnection isn’t new. We’ve just gotten better at distracting ourselves from it.

Now we’re not only lonely—we feel broken for being lonely. Like we’re doing life wrong. Like we just need to try harder, be more intentional, fix ourselves.

But what if the answer isn’t in trying harder?

What if the truth is… you’re just not that good?

And the sooner you admit that, the sooner you get to breathe again.

And by the way—that line? You’re not that good?

That’s from today’s guest, Dr. Jody Carrington. And when she said it, it hit like a truth I didn’t know I was waiting for. She’s a psychologist, speaker, and bestselling author who’s spent decades helping people reconnect—with each other and with themselves. From psychiatric units to packed stages, her work is refreshingly raw, deeply human, and just the right amount of hilarious.

Links from the episode:

Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.