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Modern Dating Is Broken | Paul Eastwick
AJ and Johnny sit down with Paul Eastwick, relationship scientist and author of Bonded by Evolution, to unpack what modern dating has gotten wrong — and what the science actually says about love, attraction, and connection.
They explore how online dating has distorted our view of desirability, why the search for “the perfect person” makes us miserable, and how real connection comes from shared time, not algorithms. Paul breaks down how our brains evolved for small-group bonding — not endless swiping — and reveals the truth about compatibility, attachment, and the misunderstood “friend zone.”
From evolutionary psychology to modern dating anxiety, this conversation is a masterclass in how to build real relationships in a world built on comparison.
Chapters:
00:00 – Why love advice is so confusing
05:00 – How online dating rewired attraction
10:00 – The confidence gap and lost social skills
15:00 – The danger of treating dating like a marketplace
20:00 – Algorithms, ego, and authenticity in the AI era
30:00 – How relationships actually form and last
05:00 – How online dating rewired attraction
10:00 – The confidence gap and lost social skills
15:00 – The danger of treating dating like a marketplace
20:00 – Algorithms, ego, and authenticity in the AI era
30:00 – How relationships actually form and last
35:00 – Compatibility is built, not found
40:00 – Why men should stop fearing the friend zone
45:00 – Redefining masculinity and modern love
45:00 – Redefining masculinity and modern love
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Episode resources:
Bonded by Evolution: The New Science of Love and Connection
Love Factually
Check in with AJ and Johnny!
AJ on LinkedIn
Johnny on LinkedIn
AJ on Instagram
Johnny on Instagram
The Art of Charm on Instagram
The Art of Charm on YouTube
The Art of Charm on TikTok
meetings, collaboration, leadership, communication, productivity, visibility, AI at work, remote work, workplace culture, career growth, The Art of Charm
AI, automation, purpose, identity, future of work, Zack Kass, The Next Renaissance, technology, leadership, creativity, meaning, human connection, emotional intelligence, optimism, The Art of Charm
Paul Eastwick, dating, relationships, love, attraction, compatibility, attachment theory, online dating, Tinder, Bumble, match, masculinity, connection, psychology, The Art of Charm, AJ Harbinger, Johnny Dzubak
Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices
View all episodes
By The Art of Charm
4.7
1046510,465 ratings
AJ and Johnny sit down with Paul Eastwick, relationship scientist and author of Bonded by Evolution, to unpack what modern dating has gotten wrong — and what the science actually says about love, attraction, and connection.
They explore how online dating has distorted our view of desirability, why the search for “the perfect person” makes us miserable, and how real connection comes from shared time, not algorithms. Paul breaks down how our brains evolved for small-group bonding — not endless swiping — and reveals the truth about compatibility, attachment, and the misunderstood “friend zone.”
From evolutionary psychology to modern dating anxiety, this conversation is a masterclass in how to build real relationships in a world built on comparison.
Chapters:
00:00 – Why love advice is so confusing
05:00 – How online dating rewired attraction
10:00 – The confidence gap and lost social skills
15:00 – The danger of treating dating like a marketplace
20:00 – Algorithms, ego, and authenticity in the AI era
30:00 – How relationships actually form and last
05:00 – How online dating rewired attraction
10:00 – The confidence gap and lost social skills
15:00 – The danger of treating dating like a marketplace
20:00 – Algorithms, ego, and authenticity in the AI era
30:00 – How relationships actually form and last
35:00 – Compatibility is built, not found
40:00 – Why men should stop fearing the friend zone
45:00 – Redefining masculinity and modern love
45:00 – Redefining masculinity and modern love
A Word From Our Sponsors
Stop being over looked and unlock your X-Factor today at unlockyourxfactor.com
The very qualities that make you exceptional in your field are working against you socially. Visit the artofcharm.com/intel for a social intelligence assessment and discover exactly what's holding you back.
If you’ve put off organizing your finances, Monarch is for you. Use code CHARM at monarch.com in your browser for half off your first year.
Indulge in affordable luxury with Quince. Upgrade your wardrobe today at quince.com/charm for free shipping and hassle-free returns.
Grow your way - with Headway! Get started at makeheadway.com/CHARM and use my code CHARM for 25% off.
This year, skip breaking a sweat AND breaking the bank. Get your summer savings and shop premium wireless plans at mintmobile.com/charm
Curious about your influence level?
Get your Influence Index Score today!
Take this 60-second quiz to find out how your influence stacks up against top performers at theartofcharm.com/influence.
Episode resources:
Bonded by Evolution: The New Science of Love and Connection
Love Factually
Check in with AJ and Johnny!
AJ on LinkedIn
Johnny on LinkedIn
AJ on Instagram
Johnny on Instagram
The Art of Charm on Instagram
The Art of Charm on YouTube
The Art of Charm on TikTok
meetings, collaboration, leadership, communication, productivity, visibility, AI at work, remote work, workplace culture, career growth, The Art of Charm
AI, automation, purpose, identity, future of work, Zack Kass, The Next Renaissance, technology, leadership, creativity, meaning, human connection, emotional intelligence, optimism, The Art of Charm
Paul Eastwick, dating, relationships, love, attraction, compatibility, attachment theory, online dating, Tinder, Bumble, match, masculinity, connection, psychology, The Art of Charm, AJ Harbinger, Johnny Dzubak
Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices
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