If you’ve spent your whole life being “the capable one”—the reliable friend, the problem-solver at work, the emotional anchor for everyone else—you’re not alone. Many late-diagnosed ADHD and autistic adults are quietly carrying this role, often without ever choosing it. And the cost? Chronic burnout, emotional exhaustion, resentment, and a complete disconnect from your own needs.

In this episode, Dr. Regina unpacks why neurodivergent women so often become “the capable one,” how masking and people-pleasing feed the pattern, and revisits why capability is not the same as capacity. You’ll learn the signs of overfunctioning, the hidden emotional labor that drains your nervous system, and how to start stepping out of this survival role with compassion, boundaries, and sustainable support.

If you’ve ever wondered, “Why am I so tired when I’m doing everything right?” then this episode will give you the language, validation, and tools you’ve been missing.

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About Dr. Regina McMenomy, PhD

Regina is a neurodivergent coach and educator who helps late-diagnosed adults unmask, heal from burnout, and build lives aligned with how their brains work. She founded Divergent Paths Consulting to provide the type of coaching and support to late-diagnosed nerdy neurodivergent folks in educational leadership and tech fields that she needed when she got her late diagnosis.

Neurodivergent folks are told constantly: “Just make it a habit.” But if that advice has ever activated your fight-or-flight response, you’re not alone. In this episode of Divergent Paths, Dr. Regina and Russ break down why traditional habit culture simply wasn’t built for neurodivergent brains and why it’s not your fault that the habit trackers, streaks, and “21-day rules” never stick.

We dig into the real neuroscience behind dopamine inconsistency, interest-based nervous systems, and basal ganglia automation. The three core reasons ND folks struggle with building automatic routines. We also explore how demand avoidance and shame play into the habit-making process, and why forcing consistency often backfires.

But it’s not all doomscrolling and lint-trap metaphors. You’ll hear practical strategies that do work for ND brains: environmental cues, personalized triggers, changing your space, anchoring tasks to daily events, and building systems that support your life instead of fighting it. Russ also shares how small environmental tweaks improved his productivity and how testing one change at a time can transform the whole system.

If you’ve ever felt broken because you “can’t stick to habits,” this episode will help you release the shame, trust your brain, and build support systems that actually fit how your mind works.

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About Dr. Regina McMenomy PhD,

Regina is an educator, consultant, and founder of Divergent Paths Consulting. With over two decades of experience in higher education and instructional design, she now helps individuals create more inclusive, neurodivergent-affirming spaces. A late-diagnosed ADHDer herself, Regina blends academic insight, personal experience, and a healthy dose of nerdy joy to help others unmask, heal, and thrive.

People-pleasing, self-abandonment, and unmasking are deeply connected, especially for late-diagnosed neurodivergent folk. In this solo episode of Divergent Paths, Dr. Regina breaks down how people-pleasing develops as a survival strategy, why it often leads to chronic self-abandonment, and what it really takes to unmask after years of shaping yourself around other people’s expectations.

You’ll learn:

• A simple definition of people-pleasing and how it functions
• What self-abandonment looks like and why it becomes automatic
• Why unmasking often feels scary, disorienting, or selfish (spoiler: it’s not)
• Three practical strategies to help you reconnect with your needs and rebuild trust with yourself

If you’ve spent most of your life trying to keep the peace, be "easy-going,” or avoid rejection, this episode will help you understand where those patterns came from and how to gently begin to change them.

Sign up for N.E.R.D. Notes and get weekly nerdy neurodivergent insights!

Book a Clarity Call with Regina

About Dr. Regina McMenomy PhD,

Regina is an educator, consultant, and founder of Divergent Paths Consulting. With over two decades of experience in higher education and instructional design, she now helps individuals create more inclusive, neurodivergent-affirming spaces. A late-diagnosed ADHDer herself, Regina blends academic insight, personal experience, and a healthy dose of nerdy joy to help others unmask, heal, and thrive.

Have you ever caught yourself saying, “I know I can do it… so why can’t I just make myself?” In this episode of Divergent Paths, Dr. Regina and co-host Russ unpack the crucial difference between what you’re capable of doing and what you actually have the capacity to do.

From ADHD burnout to chronic overcommitment, we explore how late-diagnosed neurodivergent adults often confuse skill with bandwidth, pushing themselves past their limits because they’ve been praised for performance, not pacing.

Learn how to recognize when your energy, executive function, or emotional regulation are running low, and discover strategies to stay within your true capacity without guilt or shame.

Topics Include:

• The difference between capability and capacity (and why it matters)
• Why neurodivergent people often push past their limits
• Signs you’re out of capacity (even when you’re still capable)
• How to set boundaries without shame
• Tips for rebuilding capacity and honoring your bandwidth

Sign up for N.E.R.D. Notes and get weekly nerdy neurodivergent insights!

Book a Clarity Call with Regina

About Dr. Regina McMenomy PhD,

Regina is an educator, consultant, and founder of Divergent Paths Consulting. With over two decades of experience in higher education and instructional design, she now helps individuals create more inclusive, neurodivergent-affirming spaces. A late-diagnosed ADHDer herself, Regina blends academic insight, personal experience, and a healthy dose of nerdy joy to help others unmask, heal, and thrive.

Have you ever found yourself repeating the same story three times in a row—even to the same person—just trying to get it right? You’re not being dramatic or forgetful. You’re doing a live edit and it’s a powerful, neurodivergent form of emotional processing.

In this solo episode of Neurodivergent Solutions, Dr. Regina McMenomy breaks down why late-diagnosed ADHDers and autistic folks often retell the same story multiple times in the same sitting. From revising word choice to decoding emotions, this repetition isn’t a flaw—it’s a form of self-regulation, sense-making, and emotional closure.

You’ll learn:

• Why ND folks reprocess stories to find the right phrasing
• How looping helps uncover hidden emotions and somatic responses
• The difference between external and internal processing (spoiler: journaling counts!)
• Why "getting it out" helps us finally let it go
• Tips for naming and navigating your own live edit moments—with grace

Whether you're a serial story-repeater or someone who needs to say it out loud to know what you think, this episode will help you understand your brain with more clarity and compassion.

Sign up for N.E.R.D. Notes and get weekly nerdy neurodivergent insights!

Book a Clarity Call with Regina

About Dr. Regina McMenomy PhD,

Regina is an educator, consultant, and founder of Divergent Paths Consulting. With over two decades of experience in higher education and instructional design, she now helps individuals create more inclusive, neurodivergent-affirming spaces. A late-diagnosed ADHDer herself, Regina blends academic insight, personal experience, and a healthy dose of nerdy joy to help others unmask, heal, and thrive.

Ever find yourself still furious about a group project from 25 years ago? You might be dealing with justice sensitivity: that intense gut-level reaction when something feels unfair.

In this episode of Divergent Paths, Dr. Regina McMenomy, PhD—ADHD coach for late-diagnosed, nerdy neurodivergent women in higher ed and tech—is joined by co-host Russ Catanach to unpack why fairness feels so personal for so many neurodivergent adults.

They explore how justice sensitivity shows up alongside rejection sensitive dysphoria (RSD), ADHD impulsivity, and autistic integrity, and how this deep moral drive can both empower and exhaust us. From childhood classroom memories to academic workplaces that reward compliance over compassion, Regina shares how her brain’s wiring to “fight every fight” shaped her career and her coaching philosophy.

You’ll learn:

-> Why neurodivergent people experience injustice so intensely

-> How justice sensitivity connects to empathy, burnout, and advocacy

-> Strategies to channel your sense of fairness without burning out

If fairness feels like a calling (or a full-time job), this episode is for you.

Sign up for N.E.R.D. Notes and get weekly nerdy neurodivergent insights!

Book a Clarity Call with Regina

About Dr. Regina McMenomy PhD,

Regina is an educator, consultant, and founder of Divergent Paths Consulting. With over two decades of experience in higher education and instructional design, she now helps individuals create more inclusive, neurodivergent-affirming spaces. A late-diagnosed ADHDer herself, Regina blends academic insight, personal experience, and a healthy dose of nerdy joy to help others unmask, heal, and thrive.

Grief is never simple but for neurodivergent folks, it can feel like trying to swim through wet cement. In this deeply personal solo episode, Dr. Regina McMenomy, PhD, shares her own experience of loss while exploring how grief collides with executive dysfunction, emotional numbness, and rejection sensitivity.

If you’ve ever struggled to make phone calls, fill out forms, or even feel your emotions after someone you love has died, this episode is for you. You’ll learn why grief scrambles our executive functioning, how alexithymia can make it hard to name what we’re feeling, and why guilt and self-blame often hit especially hard for late-diagnosed neurodivergent adults.

Because sometimes the hardest part of grieving isn’t the loss itself—it’s learning to be gentle with a brain that’s already overloaded.

Sign up for N.E.R.D. Notes and get weekly nerdy neurodivergent insights!

Book a Clarity Call with Regina

About Dr. Regina McMenomy PhD,

Dr. Regina McMenomy, Ph.D., is a neurodivergent coach, educator, and founder of Divergent Paths Consulting. She helps late-diagnosed adults unmask, heal, and thrive without burning out. Author of the N.E.R.D. Notes Newsletter and host of the Divergent Paths podcast, Regina blends academic insight with nerdy joy to build belonging from the inside out. Catch her on Instagram

You ever open your calendar and wonder who signed you up for all this—only to realize it was you?

In this episode of Divergent Paths, Dr. Regina McMenomy, PhD, and co-host Russ Catanach dive into the exhausting cycle of masking through overcommitment. It's a familiar pattern of saying yes to everything just to look capable, helpful, or “normal.” Together, they unpack why neurodivergent people often take on too much, how that habit drains energy, and what it really means to check your capacity instead of just your calendar.

Regina shares a personal story about agreeing to dog-sit right after Comic-Con (spoiler: it did not go as planned) and how learning to pause before saying yes became a game-changer. Russ reflects on how people-pleasing and masking can blur the line between joy and obligation.

From capacity planning to “potato days,” this episode offers practical ways to honor your limits, manage energy instead of time, and break free from the burnout cycle. Because saying no isn’t selfish—it’s self-respect.

🎧 You’ll learn:

• Why masking often leads to chronic overcommitment
• How to tell the difference between a masking yes and an authentic yes
• Why checking your energy matters more than checking your schedule
• How “potato days” (rest days) help your brain recover
• Scripts for saying no without guilt

Whether you’re an ADHD overachiever, an autistic perfectionist, or a recovering people-pleaser, this conversation will help you find peace in doing less—and thriving more.

Sign up for N.E.R.D. Notes and get weekly nerdy neurodivergent insights!

If the sight of a form to fill out or bills you need to pay makes you want to crawl under a blanket, you’re not alone. In this episode of Neurodivergent Synthesis, Dr. Regina breaks down why paperwork — those endless forms, emails, and administrative tasks — can feel like an impossible boss fight for neurodivergent brains.

Paperwork doesn’t just require focus; it demands executive functioning, emotional regulation, and compliance with arbitrary rules — all while offering zero dopamine rewards. Add in Demand Avoidance (“What do you mean I have to do this?”) and Rejection Sensitivity (“What if I do it wrong?”), and you’ve got the perfect recipe for overwhelm, avoidance, and shame spirals.

Together, we’ll unpack how these overlapping neurodivergent traits combine to make even “simple” tasks so complex — and how understanding the pattern can help you reframe, strategize, and show yourself some compassion.

In this episode, we explore:

• Why executive dysfunction + low dopamine makes paperwork a multi-step nightmare
• How PDA turns “required” tasks into nervous-system resistance
• How RSD feeds the fear of messing up or being judged
• Realistic, nerd-friendly strategies for finally slaying the paperwork monster

You’re not lazy. You’re navigating a system that was never designed for your brain.

Book a Clarity Call with Regina

About Dr. Regina McMenomy PhD,

Dr. Regina McMenomy, Ph.D., is a neurodivergent coach, educator, and founder of Divergent Paths Consulting. She helps late-diagnosed adults unmask, heal, and thrive without burning out. Author of the N.E.R.D. Notes Newsletter and host of the Divergent Paths podcast, Regina blends academic insight with nerdy joy to build belonging from the inside out. Catch her on Instagram @DrReginaPhD

Sign up for N.E.R.D. Notes and get weekly nerdy neurodivergent insights!

Unmasking isn’t about ignoring others or living without filters. It’s about finally showing up as your real self instead of a version built to keep everyone else comfortable. In this episode of Divergent Paths, Dr. Regina McMenomy, PhD, and co-host Russ bust the biggest misconceptions about neurodivergent unmasking.

They unpack three common myths:

1. That unmasking means you stop caring what people think,
2. That unmasking gives you permission to be unfiltered or rude, and
3. That unmasking means putting your needs above others.

Through personal stories and humor (yes, including a pizza-related revelation), Regina and Russ explore what healthy unmasking really looks like—balancing authenticity, empathy, and accountability without losing connection.

Book a Clarity Call with Regina

About Dr. Regina McMenomy PhD,

Dr. Regina McMenomy, Ph.D., is a neurodivergent coach, educator, and founder of Divergent Paths Consulting. She helps late-diagnosed adults unmask, heal, and thrive without burning out. Author of the N.E.R.D. Notes Newsletter and host of the Divergent Paths podcast, Regina blends academic insight with nerdy joy to build belonging from the inside out. Catch her on Instagram @DrReginaPhD