ON BOYS Podcast

Two years.

More than 100 episodes covering important topics such as boys & sex, masculinity, ADHD, mental health, honesty & so much more.

But on our SECOND anniversary, we're most grateful for the relationships we've created. We're no longer simply co-hosts or colleagues; we're friends. We enjoy talking to one another as much as (we hope) you enjoy listening to us.

We're also grateful for the professional connections we've made as a result of this podcast. This year alone, we spoke with Steve Biddulph, Peggy Orenstein, Phyllis Fagell, Dr. Vanessa LaPointe, Michael C. Reichert & dozens of other on-the-ground boy advocates. It may seem, sometimes, that boys are an after thought in today's world, but we've learned that there a lot of smart, caring, committed people who care deeply about boys and their future.

We're thankful for YOU, our listeners. You inspire and motivate us. In fact, we'd like to get to know you better, so we can better meet your needs. Will you please take a few minutes to complete our first-ever Listener Survey? CLICK HERE!

In this episode, Jen & Janet discuss:

The importance of humor in raising boys

How parenting keeps us grounded

ON BOYS' origin story

How Jen & Janet learned so much about boys

Why one-size-fits-all answers don't work

Our individual quirks

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Links we mentioned (or should have) in this episode:

The Role of Memes in Teen Culture -- Jen's New York Times article, mentioned at 4:26

Introducing Co-Hosts Janet & Jen -- our very first ON BOYS episode, mentioned at 9:27

Sex, Teens & Everything in Between, by Shafia Zaloom -- book recommended by Peggy Orenstein during our Boys & Sex conversation, mentioned at 25:25

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Do you know what the term "2e" means?

Photo by Jesper Sehested Pluslexia via Flickr

2e is short for "twice exceptional," a term used to refer to people who are both highly gifted and learning disabled. As you might imagine, meeting the social, emotional and educational needs of a 2e child is quite a challenge.

Ramsey Hootman is an author and mom of two, including a 10 year old boy who prefers to be called B-Bot, his gaming handle. B-Bot is twice exceptional -- super intellectually gifted yet slow to understand the intricacies of human interaction.

"With this child, it was obvious from the beginning that he was his own person and we really had no control over that," Hootman says. Even in the womb, B-Bot was all action, all the time. After birth, he was colicky. His mood improved once he could move around independently, Hootman says, "but he was always so driven."

At first, Hootman and her husband thought their son might be on the autism spectrum. ("He was clearly on a different developmental trajectory," she says.) They didn't pursue a diagnosis until B-Bot was in school and faced with a teacher that didn't seem willing to make accommodations for their son unless required to do so. Formal testing revealed that B-Bot is highly intellectually gifted and has ADHD, as well as an auditory processing disorder that makes it difficult for him to learn from verbal instructions and conversations.

Although they were initially a bit reluctant to have B-Bot tested and "labeled," the Hootman family discovered that an accurate diagnosis allowed them to help their son more effectively and precisely. Importantly, B-Bot's diagnosis also helped his parents and teachers realize that B-Bot's challenges and behaviors were not a discipline issue.

In this episode, Jen, Janet & Ramsey discuss:

Learning to parent the child you have, not the child you expected

Deciding to pursue a diagnosis

Teaching boundaries to a child who struggles with social cues

Early signs of giftedness

Auditory processing disorder

Adapting parenting to the unique needs of the child

Balancing 2e kids' need for intellectual stimulation w their need for additional time to develop other skills

What to do when school isn't adequately meeting your child's needs

How to advocate for the needs of gifted & 2e kids

Links we mentioned (or should have) in this episode:

Teaching my 2E Kid Social Skills with Star Trek: The Next Generation -- Ramsey's article

Twice Exceptional Students -- info from the National Association for Gifted Children

Twice Exceptional -- classic Building Boys post

Twice Exceptional Kids: Both Gifted and Challenged -- info from Child Mind Institute

The Spark: A Mother's Story of Nurturing, Genius, and Autism, by Kristine Barnett -- Ramsey says this "book is a really great model for loving and nurturing the child you have, not the child you expected."

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Baby boys' testosterone levels are nearly the same as teenage boys'.

But for the first few weeks after conception, well, there's no discernible difference between a male embryo and a female embryo. The testosterone surge that occurs in the 2nd and 3rd trimesters of pregnancy is responsible for the cascade of developmental changes that what differentiates a boy baby from a girl baby, and from then on, "testosterone drive the bus," Janet says.

Photo by roxie_jc via Flickr

Understanding male development will help you understand your boys and what they need. It may help you relax and enjoy your child as well.

"When parents understand male development and what is developmentally appropriate, they feel less anxious if their son can't do the same things as their neighbor's daughter," Jen says.

Join us as we discuss the development and growth of baby boys, toddlers and preschoolers.

In this episode, Jen & Janet discuss:

Prenatal development of baby boys

How testosterone influences the development of male infants

Male vulnerability to health problems

How lack of father involvement affects boys

Nature vs. nurture

Bonding with baby boys

Why boys may "take longer" to hit developmental milestones

What to look for in a daycare, preschool and elementary school setting

Nature & forest preschools

The link between movement and learning

Why we can't expect our little ones to live on our adult timeline

Using empathy when kids struggle with transitions

How screen time affects language development

Links we mentioned (or should have) in this episode:

Why Men Die Younger Than Women: The "Guys Are Fragile" Thesis -- NPR story

Study Finds Moms Talk More to Babies, Especially Baby Girls

Nature Preschools

American Forest Kindergarten Association (We love this quote from their founder, Erin Kenny: "Children cannot bounce off the walls if we take the walls away.")

Toddlers' Screen Time Linked to Slower Speech Development, Study Finds - PBS story

Story Time, Not Screen Time: Why E-Books Aren't Better for Toddlers

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STAY CONNECTED WITH JANET & JEN:

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Be sure to opt-in at  Boys Alive! .com for your free report “3 Simple Tips to CONNECT with Your Boy.”  And opt-in at  BuildingBoys.net, too!

Follow us on Instagram:  @on.boys.podcast and @boys.alive

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Talking about boys and sex can be uncomfortable. But if want our boys (and girls and non-binary children) to have healthy, safe, fulfilling sexual relationships, it's essential.

And there's the hitch, right? A lot of us don't even want to think about our children having sexual relationships -- and when we do talk to our kids about sex, it's typically because we don't want them to become pregnant, we don't want them to get a disease, and we don't them to be hurt or arrested. Rarely is our focus on helping our children develop the skills and knowledge they'll need to engage in healthy, safe and fulfilling sexual relationships.

That's a mistake, says Peggy Orenstein, author Boys & Sex: Young Men on Hookups, Love, Porn, Consent, and Navigating the New Masculinity. When we avoid these conversations, our children get their sexual education elsewhere -- often, from porn.

Contrary to her expectations when she began reporting the book, Peggy found that boys were "insightful narrators" of their lives and experiences. Boys are acutely aware of the issues that affect them, of the "rules" that govern their behavior and social success and of society's evolving definition of masculinity.

The #MeToo movement has inspired a lot of conversation about gender and sexual violence, and given us all the opportunity to rethink the spoken and unspoken messages our society sends boys. "It's not just a time to reduce sexual violence," Peggy says. "It's a crack in the edifice where we can engage boys in a more positive way about sex, intimacy, masculinity and gender dynamics."

In this episode, Jen, Janet & Peggy discuss:

Common preconceptions about boys

How the #MeToo movement has created openings for conversation with our boys

Hookup culture

The current status of sex ed in school (only 10 states require that their sex education programs must be medically-accurate!)

Boys' skewed perceptions of bodies and sex

Why boys say "hilarious" all the time

Preparing boys to speak out when they see bad behavior -- & why they might not, in spite of their best intentions

How rigid gender norms harm boys

Broadening boys' emotional vocabulary

Dads as the "gender police"

Supporting fathers as they connect and communicate with their sons

The role of vulnerability in human relationships

How drinking -- and socialization -- warp boys' assumptions about girls' activity and intentions

The difference between a "bad hookup" and sexual assault

Sponsor Spotlight: Stryke Club

Skin care specifically made for boys! Created by a group of “boy moms,” including a pediatric dermatologist, Stryke Club products are simple, safe and non-drying. Use discount code ONBOYS to save 10%.

Links we mentioned (or should have) in this episode:

Boys & Sex: Young Men on Hookups, Love, Porn, Consent, and Navigating the New Masculinity -- Peggy's book

peggyorenstein.com -- Peggy's website; includes a list of resources to help you talk to your kids about sex

Will We Ever Figure Out How to Talk to Boys About Sex? -- New York Times article by Peggy

"Boys & Sex" Reveals that Young Men Feel "Cut Off From Their Hearts" -- Peggy discussing her book on Fresh Air

The Fine Line Between a Bad Date and Sexual Assault: 2 Views on Aziz Ansari -- NPR story about the incident Peggy mentions at 25:23

Teaching Boys Social Skills -- ON BOYS episode featuring Ryan Wexelblatt, the ADHD expert mentioned at 37:02

Sex, Teens, and Everything in Between: The New and Necessary Conversations Today's Teenagers Need to Have About Consent, Sexual Harassment, Healthy Relationships, Love and More, by Shafia Zaloom -- book Peggy calls "absolutely a foundational text for parents & teenagers"

Talk to Boys About Sex with Amy Lang -- ON BOYS episode 110

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Approximately 3-10% of children have ADHD (attention deficit/hyperactivity disorder). Many of them -- the majority, in fact -- are boys.

Today's guest, Ryan Wexelblatt (aka ADHD Dude) describes ADHD as "an executive function developmental delay." What that means: In all humans, the brain's prefrontal cortex (or "frontal lobe") acts as the operating system for the brain. It controls impulses, understand time and helps us weigh the potential consequences of our actions. In kids who have ADHD, the prefrontal cortex is about 30% behind the rest of the brain, developmentally. So, a 12 year old with ADHD may well act and behave more like a typical 9 year old.

The frontal lobe is the home of our "brain coach," that internal voice that gives us feedback and suggestions throughout the day. When he explains ADHD to kids, Ryan tells them, "the volume on your brain coach is turned down a little."

Unfortunately for many boys (and their families), a lot of people still misunderstand ADHD. Making matter worse is the fact that "school is not designed with the male brain in mind," as Ryan says. On top of that, many people consider ADHD a mental health issue, not a learning disorder. That conceptualization makes things harder for our boys, who face social stigma and internal shame. Often, their parents are judged as well; too often, educators and others consider ADHD a "character flaw" or the result of poor parenting.

The answer, however, is not to ignore or deny any professional or educator who suggests your son might have ADHD. "We're talking about how your son's learning and social relationships may be impacted," Ryan says. If a professional sees signs of ADHD in your child, it's almost always a good idea to have your child evaluated holistically.

In this episode, Jen, Janet & Ryan discuss:

The 3 subtypes (different presentations) of ADHD

The link between ADHD and executive function

Why kids with ADHD struggle with time management -- & giving attention to tasks that don't interest them

How ADHD affects adults, children & families

Differentiating "typical boy behavior" from ADHD

How ADHD affects learning

ADHD's effect on emotional regulation

Social learning challenges related to attention deficit/hyperactivity disorder

How to help children w ADHD develop perspective-taking skills

Should intellectually advanced but socially immature boys start school, or wait a year?

Misdiagnosis of ADHD

Explaining ADHD to kids

ADHD diagnosis

Other conditions that cause ADHD-like symptoms

Connections between ADHD & depression, anxiety, autism spectrum disorder and more

To medicate or not medicate?

Making decisions about ADHD treatment

Sponsor Spotlight: Stryke Club

Skin care specifically made for boys! Created by a group of “boy moms,” including a pediatric dermatologist, Stryke Club products are simple, safe and non-drying. Use discount code ONBOYS to save 10%.

Links we mentioned (or should have) in this episode:

ADHD Dude — the online home of Ryan’s ADHD work. Includes a link to his ADHD Dude Facebook group 

Dude Talk playlist — Ryan’s series of YouTube videos aimed directly at boys

Teaching Boys Social Skills -- Ryan's previous ON BOYS episode

Parent-Child Interaction Therapy (PCIT) -- program recommended by Ryan at 26:42

Parent Management Training (PMT) -- program recommended by Ryan at 26:52

ADDitude magazine  -- be sure to check out Ryan's weekly columns

ADHD Resources Recommended by Ryan:

Taking Charge of ADHD by Russell Barkley

No-Drama Discipline: The Whole Brain Way to Calm the Chaos and Nurture Your Child's Developing Mind by Daniel Siegel

He's Not Lazy: Empowering Your Son to Believe in Himself by Dr. Adam Price

Saving Our Sons: A New Path for Raising Healthy & Resilient Boys by Michael Gurian

The Collapse of Parenting: How We Hurt Our Kids When We Treat Them Like Grown-Ups by Leonard Sax

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Is honesty the best policy? 

Not necessarily, says Judi Ketteler, author of Would I Lie to You? The Amazing Power of Being Honest in a World That Lies. If Judi's name (and voice) sound familiar to you, it's because she's been on the podcast before: in Oct. 2018, she talked to us about parenting risk-taking boys. (Her son, Maxx, is into Gtramp, an extreme trampoline sport.)

We all want our boys to be decent, honest human beings, but the truth is, honesty isn't a black-and-white issue. As Judi learned, there are a whole host of reasons why people lie: We want others to like us. We don't want to hurt someone's feelings. We want to avoid a conflict. We're protecting someone (or something).

In some cases, lying is healthy -- so telling our kids to be honest all the time is actually a bit hypocritical because our kids see and hear us lying.

Believe it or not, a big part of maturity is figuring out when and how to lie.

"We think that our kids grow out of lying, but actually they grow into lying," Judi says.

If you really want to raise honest, moral children, begin by investigating your own relationship with honesty.

"There's such power in saying, 'I'll start with me,'" Judi says.

In this episode, Jen, Janet & Judi discuss:

Why kids -- and adults -- lie

How lying  behavior changes as humans grow

Prosocial lying, or lying for the benefit of others

Helping kids be honest and moral online

Why you should "engage at the level of reality they're looking for"

How to handle Santa Claus, the Tooth Fairy and the Easter Bunny

What to do when you know your child is lying to you

The connection between shame, lying and honesty

Links we mentioned (or should have) in this episode:

Would I Lie to You? The Amazing Power of Being Honest in a World That Lies -- Judi's book

Risk-Taking Boys with Mom Judi Ketteler -- ON BOYS episode 132

Should You Be Lying to Your Kids About Santa? -- Judi's TIME magazine article

I Didn't Do It! -- Scholastic Parent & Child article by Jen

Sponsor Spotlight: Stryke Club

Skin care specifically made for boys! Created by a group of “boy moms,” including a pediatric dermatologist, Stryke Club products are simple, safe and non-drying. Use discount code ONBOYS to save 10%.

LIKE THIS EPISODE? Share it with your friends (and thanks!):

Twitter:  Use this link

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STAY CONNECTED WITH JANET & JEN:

Join the Building Boys FB group and the Boys Alive! FB group

Be sure to opt-in at  Boys Alive! .com for your free report “3 Simple Tips to CONNECT with Your Boy.”  And opt-in at  BuildingBoys.net, too!

Follow us on Instagram:  @on.boys.podcast and @boys.alive

Twitter:  @ParentAdvisor and @BuildingBoys 

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Suicide rates among black boys ages 13-19 rose 60% from 2001 to 2017. And for children ages 5-12, black males are committing suicide at higher rates than any other racial or ethnic group.

Significant numbers of black boys are ending their lives before puberty.

This is not OK.

"There is a lot of discussion going on about suicide, mental health, emotional wellness and stigma, much of it centered around what's going on in the African-American and other communities of color," says today's guest, Chandra White-Cummings is a lawyer who's served as a policy fellow for Moms of Black Boys United. "However, often, it is the sad unfortunate case that African-American women -- moms -- don't get invited into these conversations."

That's not OK either.

Together, Chandra, Janet and Jen attempt to untangle the intertwining threads that affect black boys' mental health (and their parents' mental health) and figure out how parents, teachers and communities can effectively support black boys.

In this episode, Jen, Janet & Chandra discuss:

Factors affecting mental health in the African-American community

Implicit, unconscious bias

How racism causes parents to "over-pathologize" black boys' behavior

The loss of protective factors -- tight-knit communities, nearby family -- that once helped support mental health

The need for connection

How society often misinterprets anxiety and depression in boys -- which may manifest as rage and irritability -- as "danger" rather than symptomatic of a mental health concern

Racial disparities in schools

How to begin dismantling implicit bias

How trauma impacts mental health --  & how the legacy of slavery impacts mental health today

Why it's time to listen to (rather than study) the black community

Engaging in conversations about racism

Links we mentioned (or should have) in this episode:

www.cwcmediagroup.com -- Chandra's website. Includes links to many of her articles

Addressing Racism & Racial Disparities with Hilary Beard -- ON BOYS episode

The 1619 Project -- NYT multi-media examination of the impact of slavery on the United States

Teen Football Star Bryce Gowdy Faced Struggles Before His Suicide -- news story mentioned by Chandra at 32:14

Writing My Wrongs: Life, Death, and Redemption in an American Prison, by Shaka Senghor -- book mentioned by Chandra at 48:08

Chokehold: Policing Black Men, by Paul Butler -- book mentioned by Chandra at 48:03

Survival Math: Notes on an All-American Family, by Mitchell Jackson -- memoir about growing up black in Portland, OR

What Set Me Free: A True Story of Wrongful Conviction, a Dream Deferred, and a Man Redeemed, by Brian Banks

We Speak for Ourselves: A Word from Forgotten Black America, by D. Watkins

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STAY CONNECTED WITH JANET & JEN:

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Be sure to opt-in at  Boys Alive! .com for your free report “3 Simple Tips to CONNECT with Your Boy.”  And opt-in at  BuildingBoys.net, too!

Follow us on Instagram:  @on.boys.podcast and @boys.alive

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Photo by Kevin Dooley via Flickr

How do you help boys deal with change and anxiety? And how can parents deal with boys' incessant energy? 

Those are just a few of the questions we tackle in our first listener Q & A of 2020!

Jacquie asked:

How do you help boys adjust to change and uncomfortable situations (new school, daycare, meeting new kids...)?

Eden and Katie also wanted advice on helping boys (and themselves) cope with anxiety, albeit at different ends of the age spectrum. Eden asked:

How do you help your teen boy with anxiety?

while Katie said

My 3.5 year old boy strongly dislikes going to preschool. He started 3 months ago. The teachers reassure me that after I leave, he adjusts and is fine. However, it feels awful to force him through the front door, with the teacher grabbing him on the other side, and him saying he doesn't want to go? Any tips?

Ashley -- an introvert -- asked how to cope with her energetic boys:

I have 3 boys who love to roughhouse ALL the time. I'm an introvert and thrive in quiet environments. I'm struggling to adjust to the natural rambunctious behavior of little boys.

In this episode, Janet & Jen discuss:

Helping boys adjust to change and uncomfortable situations

How age and personality affect boys' response to change

Working with your son to increase his comfort level

Using playacting & anticipatory guidance to prepare boys for new situations

Cognitive behavioral therapy (CBT) for anxiety and depression

Affordable at-home treatment for anxiety

Differentiating anxiety from nervousness and excitement

Separation anxiety

Tips for dealing with overwhelm

The importance of self-care for introverted boy parents

How you can make your house more movement-friendly

Links we mentioned (or should have) in this episode:

Helping Teens Cope with Anxiety, Depression & More -- ON BOYS episode

Anxiety & Depression in Boys -- ON BOYS episode

COPE (Creating Opportunities for Personal Empowerment) -- evidence-based program proven to help kids with anxiety & depression (mentioned at 7:14)

Age of Anxiety: Are We "Pathologizing" Normal Emotion? -- article mentioned at 10:18

The Kissing Hand, by Audrey Penn -- book mentioned at 15:35 (great for those dealing with separation anxiety!)

Meagan Francis of The Mom Hour: Parenting in the Digital Age -- ON BOYS episode

4 Ways to Make Your Home Movement-Friendly -- Understanding Boys article by Jen

Learning to Live with Boys (w Katy Rank Lev) -- ON BOYS episode mentioned at 23:44

LIKE THIS EPISODE? Share it with your friends (and thanks!):

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Facebook:

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STAY CONNECTED WITH JANET & JEN:

Join the Building Boys FB group and the Boys Alive! FB group

Be sure to opt-in at  Boys Alive! .com for your free report “3 Simple Tips to CONNECT with Your Boy.”  And opt-in at  BuildingBoys.net, too!

Follow us on Instagram:  @on.boys.podcast and @boys.alive

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Meagan Francis has been writing, blogging and podcasting about parenting for the better part of 20 years.

You might not know her name, but odds are good you've seen a photo of her:

That's Meagan, in the hot pink dress. And that's one of her (four) boys under her arm. (Meagan also has a daughter.)

If you have kids -- and you probably do, if you're listening to this podcast -- you know that look on her face. You've felt that combination of frustration and determination. And that, likely, is why the photo went viral and remains wildly popular.

What you may not know is that the "surfboard kid" photo is 16 years ago. The boy under Meagan's arm is now a 20 year old man she calls "mellow," "sweet, and "reserved."

The moral(s) of the story:

Whatever you are experiencing today will not last forever. At age three, Meagan's son was a "holy terror." (Her words.) He would hide under clothes racks when they went shopping and was. uh, difficult to control at times. It's easy to assume, when that's your daily reality, that that's how your kid is -- and how he will BE. It's easy to assume that unless you crack down (a.k.a, figure out the "right" way to handle this behavior), your kid will turn into an out-of-control juvenile delinquent. But that is not necessarily the case. What is true: Your child will grow. You will grow. Life in 15 years -- or even next week! -- might look very different than the current moment.

Photos (and stories) on the Internet do last forever. Meagan discovered the photo about 6 years ago while going through a box of photographs. She posted it on her Facebook page with an encouraging story -- and then, it took on a life of its own. The photo went viral and has surged in popularity at least 3 separate times, often in slightly different forms. Meagan has noticed that "people's reactions to the photo tend to vary based on what caption is on there." Some moms see it and are supportive. Some -- especially those who see it in the iteration posted above, think, "I'd never!"

In this episode, Jen, Janet & Meagan discuss:

How a photo from a family wedding turned into the viral "surfboard kid" meme

Raising lots of boys -- and coping with silly questions, like, "So, you gonna keep trying for a girl?"

Life as a #momofboys

How family dynamics change over time

Responding to internal (and external) parenting pressure

Parenting as a single mom

Why you might want to get a cat (Meagan's son says getting a cat was the "best thing she ever did for the family")

Learning to communicate via sarcasm & joking (Also: What to do when your kids' "joking" hurts your feelings)

Navigating screen time & social media

Encouraging character, civility & safety online

Why you DON'T need to constantly monitor your child's whereabouts and grades

Links we mentioned (or should have) in this episode:

The Mom Hour -- Meagan & Sarah Power's popular parenting podcast

Helicopter Parenting & Bulldozer Parenting are Bad for Everyone -- Including Parents -- NBC News article by Meagan (mentioned at 33:20)

Surfboard Kid Backstory -- Meagan explains the story behind the viral photo (& what's happened since)

What Do Teenagers Want? Potted Plant Parents -- NYT article mentioned at 20:34

Dolly Parton's America -- excellent podcast recommended by Janet at about 38:00

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STAY CONNECTED WITH JANET & JEN:

Join the Building Boys FB group and the Boys Alive! FB group

Be sure to opt-in at  Boys Alive! .com for your free report “3 Simple Tips to CONNECT with Your Boy.”  And opt-in at  BuildingBoys.net, too!

Follow us on Instagram:  @on.boys.podcast and @boys.alive

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Jo LangfordSex educator & author

How much do you know about the apps KIK, WeChat and My LOL?

If you're like most parents, the answer is "not much" (if anything!). You know that cell phones and social media are an important part of tween and teen culture -- in fact, digital communication is the primary source of social connection for many kids today -- but you don't really understand what they do online. As an adult, you're well aware of the potential risks of digital communication, but are unsure which apps and activities are safe.

Enter Jo Langford.

We last talked to Jo, a therapist, author and sex educator, about sex education in the 21st century. Since then, he's started a podcast to help today's parents understand the apps used by today's kids: APPropriate.

Freaking out about your sons' social media activity is never helpful. Jo encourages parents to stop, breathe and be aware.

"You don't have to understand every single app out there," Jo says. "There are dozens of them and they're changing all the time; it's just exhausting. What you want to do is get clear about what your values are and communicate that to your kids. Tell your kids what you're OK with them doing, what kind of pictures you're OK with them having, who you're OK with them following and friending and how they behave when they do that."

In this episode, Jen, Janet & Jo discuss:

How to tame your fear regarding kids' online activities

Tweens' favorite apps: Instagram & Tik Tok

Teens' favorite apps: SnapChat and Instagram

Why kids may have more than one Instagram account (It's not necessarily nefarious)

Whether or not it's OK to kids to have a private space online

How you can connect with your child via Tik Tok and Instagram

Why young kids (especially) should keep their social circles small

How to establish behavioral expectations for social networking and online activities

What to do if you find an app on your son's phone that you don't approve of (Hint: Don't yell. Ask questions!)

How to use parental controls

How to help your kids be conscious of the content they are consuming online

Red flag behaviors to watch for -- and what to do if you notice them

Links we mentioned (or should have) in this episode:

APPropriate -- Jo's podcast

BeHeroes.net -- Jo's online home

21st Century Sex Ed with Jo Langford -- ON BOYS episode

The Pride Guide: The Guide to Sexual and Social Health for LGBTQ Youth, by Jo Langford

Racists are Recruiting. Watch your White Sons. -- NYT op-ed by Joanna Schroeder (discussed at 25:50)

How to Raise a Boy with Michael C. Reichert -- ON BOYS episode mentioned at 33:00

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