On Purpose with Jay Shetty

What makes you feel confident about yourself?

How do you build your confidence when it’s low?

Today, Jay discusses a topic that's all too familiar - the constant barrage of unrealistic beauty standards. He challenges the notion of a singular "most beautiful woman in the world" and explores how societal expectations and media influence our perception of beauty.

Jay breaks down the historical and cultural factors that shape beauty standards, from the ancient Greek ideals of symmetry and proportion to the modern-day obsession with youth and perfection. He highlights the role of social media in perpetuating unrealistic beauty ideals and encourages listeners to question these norms and embrace their individuality.

In this episode, you'll learn:

How to Embrace Individuality

How to Build Self-Love

How to Set Boundaries

How to Appreciate Uniqueness

How to Practice Mindfulness

By understanding the forces that shape our perception of beauty and cultivating self-love, we can live authentic, fulfilling lives. Remember, true beauty radiates from within.

With Love and Gratitude,

Jay Shetty

What We Discuss:

00:00 Intro

03:21 Different Ways We Think About Beauty

07:32 Definition of Beauty Through History

13:49 Beauty Standards of the West

16:11 What Do We Believe to be Beautiful About Ourselves?

17:05 3 Ways to Build Self Love

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What triggers envy for you?

How do you turn envy into action?

Today, in this eye-opening episode, Jay Jay sits down with the legendary Dr. Jordan B. Peterson, a psychologist, educator, and bestselling author. This conversation has been in the making for years, and it’s packed with deep insights on human development, identity, and how ancient wisdom ties into today’s challenges.

One of the standout moments is when Jordan talks about his upcoming book, We Who Wrestle With God. He takes listeners through the timeless stories of the Old Testament, explaining how they provide profound lessons on values, integrity, and personal growth. He also talks about the importance of always telling the truth and viewing life as an exploration of what’s possible. 

Jay and Jordan discuss how easy it is for people to get trapped in “false adventures”—chasing immediate gratification or quick fixes that ultimately don’t fulfill. Jordan reminds us that real growth involves shedding old parts of ourselves to move forward and align with bigger, long-term goals.

In this interview, you'll learn:

How to Build a Life of Integrity

How to Turn Failure into Learning Opportunities

How to Stay True to Long-Term Goals

How to Practice Gratitude Daily

How to Recognize and Avoid Short-Sighted Decisions

How to Align Your Actions with Your Purpose

How to Balance Ambition and Ethical Living

This conversation highlights the power of facing challenges, learning from experiences, and staying aligned with long-term goals.

With Love and Gratitude,

Jay Shetty

What We Discuss:

00:00 Intro

1:24 How Technology Exacerbates Manipulation

08:13 Escaping A Limited Reality

09:41 Addressing Problems At The Root

13:55 The Effectiveness of Psychotherapy on Psychopaths

18:17 The Mindset of Predatory Psychopaths

21:03 Tips for Women to Protect Themselves from Manipulative People

24:16 PTSD And Its Impact 

27:17 How Stories Shape Our Identity

37:06 Why Self-Consciousness Leads to Misery

40:03 The Difference Between Seeing and Thinking

47:54 The Importance of Long-Term Vision

52:56 The Dangers of Envy

55:28 Strategies to Overcome Envy

59:57 The Role of Pride and Arrogance in Personal Growth

01:05:14 The Art of Understanding Through Listening

01:09:04 Avoiding the Weaponization of Truth

01:10:45 How Short-Term Gratification Derails Progress

01:13:11 Setting Standards With Encouragement 

01:16:31 Sources Of Hope Today

01:26:02 Jordan On Final 5

Episode Resources:

Dr. Jordan B. Peterson | Website

Dr. Jordan B. Peterson | YouTube

Dr. Jordan B. Peterson | Instagram

Dr. Jordan B. Peterson | Facebook

Dr. Jordan B. Peterson | TikTok

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What drains your energy the most?

How do you deal with toxic behaviors?

Today, Jay tackles a topic we can all relate to – dealing with those challenging family members and coworkers who add a little extra stress to our lives, especially as the holiday season rolls around. If you’re already bracing yourself for gatherings with people who seem to bring more tension than joy, Jay’s got you covered. He dives into why certain people fall into negative or toxic patterns, breaking down types like the pessimist, the complainer, the eternal victim, the energy drainer, and the “just good enough” person. Jay’s perspective sheds light on how these behaviors aren’t really who they are at their core but are often habits born from past hurts or unmet needs.

Jay doesn’t just stop at explaining, though – he shares some really practical, relatable tips on how to navigate these tough dynamics without letting them throw you off balance. He talks about ways to respond with empathy, set emotional boundaries, and even gently redirect conversations when they start to drag you down. 

In this episode, you'll learn:

How to Handle Toxic Family Members at Gatherings

How to Protect Your Peace Around Negative People

How to Set Boundaries with Draining Coworkers

How to Turn Negative Conversations Around

How to Recognize Negative Patterns in Loved Ones

How to Stop Taking Toxic Comments Personally

You can’t always change someone else’s behavior, but you can protect your own joy and keep a positive outlook. So, as you head into those family gatherings or work meetings, just remember to stay grounded and prioritize your well-being – you deserve it!

With Love and Gratitude,

Jay Shetty

What We Discuss:

00:00 Intro

01:24 How Do You Deal with Toxic People?

03:26 What Makes a Person Negative or Toxic?

04:34 Type 1: The Pessimist

06:06 Type 2: The Complainer

08:05 Type 3: The Eternal Victim

10:19 Type 4: The “Just Good Enough”

13:19 Some Toxic Behavior is Meant to Protect You

15:13 Tips and Strategies to Deal with Toxicity

17:12 Tip 1: Try to Understand Their Story

19:01 Tip 2: The Negativity Begins with Themselves

22:47 Tip 3: Respond with a Reflective Remark

24:05 Tip 4: Create Distance and Boundaries

See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

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Have you ever felt stuck in a negative relationship cycle?

Have you ever struggled with setting boundaries in your relationships?

Today, Jay welcomes back a community favorite, the renowned psychotherapist, bestselling author, and podcast host Lori Gottlieb, for an insightful chat about love, relationships, and emotional growth. Lori, best known for her book Maybe You Should Talk to Someone and as co-host of the popular Dear Therapists podcast, brings her deep wisdom and practical advice that really hits home with listeners.

Lori shares how people often step into love with unrealistic expectations, thanks to social media and pop culture. She reminds us that while the spark of initial chemistry is thrilling, true, long-lasting love thrives on a deeper connection and genuine understanding. One of the highlights is Lori’s take on “idiot compassion” versus “wise compassion.” She breaks down how real compassion means looking at ourselves honestly, recognizing our patterns, and owning our part in the relationship. This is essential for anyone feeling trapped in negative cycles.

As the conversation unfolds, Jay and Lori dive into family dynamics, especially around in-laws and blending families. Lori offers practical tips on how to support your relationship while still showing respect for parents, pointing out that these challenges are usually a couple's issues, not just external ones.

In this interview, you'll learn:

How to Let Go of Unrealistic Expectations

How to Practice Wise Compassion

How to Break Negative Patterns

How to Handle Pressure to Rush Relationships

How to Prioritize Clear Communication

How to Avoid Pop Culture Relationship Pitfalls

How to Cultivate Emotional Resilience

Remember, true connection flourishes when we commit to growth, communicate openly, and remain empathetic to both ourselves and others. Every step taken toward understanding and compassion brings you closer to creating a life filled with genuine, lasting connections.

With Love and Gratitude,

Jay Shetty

What We Discuss:

00:00 Intro

02:29 What is Everyone Doing at My Age?

05:08 Why Doing Self Work Matters

08:40 Why You Need to Slow Down to Save Time

13:03 How Your Attachment Style Affects Your Relationship

17:03 First Date Impressions Aren’t Always Accurate

21:26 How Do You Define Real Human Connection?

24:33 Do You Fully Understand Your Partner?

28:24 Learn to Communicate Your Desires

31:26 This is What Happens When You Don’t Communicate

35:24 Why We’re Unreliable Narrators of Our Story

37:52 Be Consistent with Your Boundaries

42:36 We All Want to Be Liked

45:46 You’re Not Ready to Marry Yet

49:51 Practice Being Your True Self All the Time

52:36 The Blind Spots of Dating

57:08 The Truth About Future Tripping

01:00:10 How Do You Feel About the Other Person?

01:01:33 The 7-Year Mark of Marriages

01:03:50 Can Having Children Save a Marriage?

01:07:35 In-Law Issues is a Couple Issue

01:12:01 The Concept of Feeling Felt

01:16:50 How Long Can You Tolerate Disrespect from Your Partner? 

Episode Resources:

Lori Gottlieb | YouTube

Lori Gottlieb | Instagram

Lori Gottlieb | Website

Dear Therapists Podcast

Maybe You Should Talk to Someone

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Do you ever try focusing on just one thing at a time?

What’s one way you avoid distractions?

Today, Jay’s diving into a struggle we all know too well: distraction. If you’ve ever found yourself scrolling on your phone without even thinking about it, you’re definitely not alone. Jay breaks down why it’s so hard to stay focused in a world full of constant notifications and packed schedules. But this episode isn’t about making us feel guilty—instead, it’s about giving us simple, doable strategies to actually make focus easier.

Jay’s packed this episode with practical tips, like creating “no-phone zones” at home and setting tech-free times during the day to really be present. One of the standout strategies he shares is the Pomodoro Technique—working in short, focused bursts with breaks in between to keep your brain sharp and productive. Jay’s main message? Real productivity isn’t about doing more, faster—it’s about doing things better. He even shares some unique Ayurvedic advice, like chewing each bite 32 times (yes, really!) to emphasize how slowing down can improve our lives.

In this episode, you'll learn:

How to Slow Down for Better Productivity

How to Stay Present in Conversations

How to Find Calm by Unplugging

How to Build Stronger Focus Habits

How to Reclaim Your Attention

By setting intentional boundaries, slowing down, and practicing mindfulness, we can take back our attention in a way that enhances productivity, deepens our relationships, and brings peace to our daily lives. 

With Love and Gratitude,

Jay Shetty

What We Discuss:

00:00 Intro

01:46 Have You Been Feeling More Distracted?

04:03 What Research Says About the Decline in Focus

06:12 Majority of Us Can’t Multitask

09:00 Doing Things Slower Makes Better Progress

11:43 #1: The Pomodoro Technique

13:38 #2: No Tech Zones, No Tech Times

15:56 #3: Go For a Walk, Stay Off Your Phone

20:34 #4: Finish What You Start

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How do you handle negative self-talk?

What helps you overcome self-doubt?

Today, Jay sits down with Grammy Award-winning artist Alicia Keys as she shares her journey of self-discovery, resilience, and holistic living. Alicia founded Keys SoulCare, a skincare line emphasizing holistic well-being, and is a co-founder of the initiative She Is the Music, advocating for gender equality in the music industry. The conversation sheds light into Alicia's evolution from a young girl with dreams to an icon balancing a multifaceted career. Jay and Alicia discuss the highs and lows of fame, navigating self-doubt, and the pressures of public life, providing listeners with valuable insights on managing stress and fostering a positive self-image.

Alicia reflects on her childhood fears and the challenges of finding self-worth, candidly revealing how these experiences shaped her. She emphasizes the importance of staying grounded through practices like affirmations, journaling, and mindful rituals—habits that help her stay true to herself amid a whirlwind career. 

Jay and Alicia then talk about the beauty of affirmations and the importance of letting go of perfectionism, a journey that led Alicia to adopt a more holistic approach to life. In her partnership with husband Swizz Beatz, she finds a harmonious balance of "flow" and "design," where they support each other's growth and freedom. This dynamic extends to their parenting style, where they teach their children gratitude and self-acceptance while instilling a sense of humility and grace.

In this interview, you'll learn:

How to Embrace Your True Self

How to Overcome Self-Doubt and Fear

How to Find Confidence Within Yourself

How to Turn Negative Thoughts into Positivity

How to Discover Your Inner Strength

How to Set Boundaries for Self-Care

How to Be Kind to Yourself

How to Trust Your Own Choices

The journey through self-doubt, fears, and external pressures highlights the importance of staying grounded, trusting intuition, and letting go of the need to seek others' approval. 

With Love and Gratitude,

Jay Shetty

What We Discuss:

00:00 Intro

03:54 What Would You Say to Your Younger Self?

05:34 When You Have the Need to Protect Yourself

09:02 From Being Doubtful to Becoming Curious

13:43 What Is Your Affirmation Today?

15:30 Stop Being Mean to Yourself

19:06 Finding the Will to Love Your Own Skin

26:49 Spend More Time with Yourself

32:14 The Gifts and the Gaps

36:19 What Have You Learned From Your Partner?

38:06 Having Healthy Conflict in Your Relationship

45:53 Finding Balance Between Control and Flow

47:51 The Love for Crystals

51:32 Losing the Ability to Trust Yourself

57:15 What Are Your Go-To Rituals to Feel Better?

01:00:08 Teach Your Children to Practice Gratitude

01:03:45 Allow Other People to Speak and Just Listen

01:05:22 Creating Safe Space for Children

01:09:35 Hell’s Kitchen on Broadway

01:15:19 Be Clear with Your Vision

01:22:12 How Have You Protected Yourself from Fame and Success?

01:26:32 Alicia in Final Five

Episode Resources:

Alicia Keys | Website

Alicia Keys | YouTube

Alicia Keys | Instagram

Alicia Keys | Facebook

Alicia Keys | TikTok

See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

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Are you open to just being friends with an ex?

Do you think they want the same kind of friendship?

Today, Jay’s diving into a question we've all probably wrestled with at some point: can you really stay friends with an ex? He kicks things off by laying down some ground rules, pointing out that not every ex is friendship material, especially if there was any toxicity or harm in the relationship. For those open to trying a platonic bond post-breakup, he highlights the real-life complexities and the level of emotional maturity it takes to make it work.

Jay also brings in some interesting science, sharing that studies show people stay connected with their exes for reasons like security, convenience, keeping things civil, or even unresolved feelings. But each of these reasons can get messy, and Jay explains that often, the urge to stay friends might have more to do with wanting a sense of safety or familiarity than with genuine friendship.

In this episode, you'll learn:

How to Decide if an Ex Deserves Friendship

How to Set Boundaries with an Ex

How to Manage Shared Friends Post-Breakup

How to Avoid Using Friendship to Win Them Back

How to Avoid Hurting Your Ex Twice

Sometimes, the boldest and most courageous thing you can do is to walk away, taking the lessons with you and leaving the rest behind. Focus on what makes you feel good and helps you build the life you truly want. 

With Love and Gratitude,

Jay Shetty

What We Discuss:

00:00 Intro

00:52 Not Every Ex Deserves Friendship

04:36 Four Core Reasons People Stay Friends with Their Exes

09:30 Four Ways to Know Being Friends with an Ex Won’t Work

13:52 How to Start Being Friends with an Ex?

18:33 Friends and Family Can be Casualties of a Breakup

21:41 Establish New Rules of Engagement

22:50 Consider the Welfare of Children

See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

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How do you usually handle stress?

Have you tried hypnosis for stress?

Today, Jay with Dr. David Spiegel, a leading expert in psychiatry and behavioral sciences, to explore the transformative power of hypnotherapy. Dr. Spiegel, with over 45 years of experience in clinical and research fields, shares profound insights into the science behind hypnosis, dispelling myths and misconceptions. He explains how hypnosis is a natural, self-directed process that allows individuals to tap into heightened focus, manage pain, reduce stress, and address deep-seated traumas.

The conversation begins with Dr. Spiegel explaining the foundations of hypnosis, highlighting its ability to narrow one’s focus, similar to a telephoto lens, and create a dissociative state where one can temporarily suspend self-limiting beliefs. This unique focus enables users to challenge habitual thoughts and reframe experiences. Dr. Spiegel shares real-life success stories, such as a war veteran who found peace with traumatic memories and individuals overcoming chronic pain and stress using hypnosis.

In this interview, you'll learn:

How to Sleep Better Using Hypnosis

How to Improve Focus by Narrowing Attention

How to Process Trauma Safely with Hypnosis

How to Use Visualization to Relieve Stress

How to Focus Your Attention Deeply

How to Filter Out Pain with Hypnosis

By learning how to access a focused, relaxed state, you can reshape your response to pain, manage stress more effectively, and explore emotions or memories that might otherwise feel overwhelming. 

With Love and Gratitude,

Jay Shetty

What We Discuss:

00:00 Intro

02:17 What is Hypnosis

05:08 How Beneficial Hypnosis is For You?

09:14 What Happens to Your Brain During Hypnosis

14:40 Can You Control Other People with Hypnosis?

16:13 Is It Possible to Hypnotize Anyone?

26:14 You’re Still in Control of Your Body

31:28 How Can Hypnotherapy After Memory Recall?

38:29 Guided Hypnotherapy at Home is Possible

40:59 Let Your Brain Heal Your Body 

43:34 The Worst Mental Case Under Hypnosis

50:26 We Lose the Hypnotic Ability as We Age

55:39 How Hypnosis Can Help You Focus More

57:38 David on Final Five

Episode Resources:

Reveri | YouTube

Reveri | Instagram

Reveri | Facebook

Reveri | LinkedIn

Reveri | Website

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Have you ever felt like success affected your dating life?

Have you ever felt judged for your level of ambition?

Today, Jay addresses the insecurities some men may feel when partnered with highly driven women, shedding light on societal conditioning and personal growth. discusses how societal expectations traditionally placed men in provider roles, which can lead to an unease when faced with a partner who exemplifies drive and independence.

Jay also delves into recent studies, such as the "Clooney Effect," showing that most men actually value intelligence and confidence in their partners. By examining these narratives, Jay dispels myths that successful women are inherently intimidating to men. Instead, he encourages ambitious women not to diminish their goals but to seek partners who celebrate and complement their journey.

In this episode, you'll learn:

How to embrace your ambition without guilt

How to address insecurities in your relationship

How to balance mutual respect and personal ambition

How to seek partners who uplift, not compete

How to identify and avoid unhealthy relationship roles

True partnership means valuing each other's journey, working through insecurities together, and building a foundation where both people can grow freely and authentically.

With Love and Gratitude,

Jay Shetty

What We Discuss:

00:00 Intro

00:49 Are Men Less Attracted to Successful Women?

05:15 Men Have Had to Play the Protective Role

06:48 The Negative Dating Mindset You Should Stop Having

13:04 Have an Understanding of What Both are Pursuing

14:29 Are You Making Your Partner Feel Insecure?

18:29 What Makes You a Healthy Partner?

21:04 Respect Each Other’s Ambitions

See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

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What does a balanced life look like for you?

Are you getting enough time to recharge?

Today, Jay engages in a deeply reflective conversation with legendary actor, filmmaker, and writer Tom Hanks. With a career spanning over four decades, Hanks is renowned for his roles in iconic films like Forrest Gump, Saving Private Ryan, Cast Away, and The Green Mile, earning him two Academy Awards.

Tom opens up about his unconventional childhood, moving frequently and adjusting to new environments, which shaped his adaptability and taught him the art of letting go. As he reflects on his career, he discusses how he continues to find purpose and depth in his work, emphasizing the joy of collaboration and the importance of staying curious.

Together, Jay and Tom discuss how certain locations hold emotional weight, becoming symbols of comfort or life-changing reflection. They also touch on generational wisdom, the role of luck, and finding joy in small, shared experiences. With his characteristic humor and humility, Tom offers listeners a glimpse into his contemplative nature and the lessons he's learned over the years, reminding us all of the power of presence and community.

In this interview, you'll learn:

How to Find Comfort in Solitude

How to Embrace Life's Unexpected Changes

How to Connect Across Generations

How to Trust Your Instincts and Take Risks

How to Stay Curious at Any Age

How to Discover Purpose in Your Work

How to Show Up Fully in Relationships

How to Find Wisdom in Life’s Challenges

How to Pursue Meaning over Perfection

Life isn’t about having all the answers; it’s about embracing the unknown with openness, honoring the journey, and finding meaning in each moment, each experience, and each relationship. 

With Love and Gratitude,

Jay Shetty

What We Discuss:

00:00 Intro

01:17 Early Life Lessons: Childhood, Change, and Resilience

05:37 Mastering the Art of Detachment

10:15 Discovering Theater and Passion in High School

18:56 Can We Create Our Own Luck? 

21:35 Exploring the Sacred Sites of Jerusalem

27:03 Owning Your Mistakes and When to Take Personal Responsibility

30:52 The Third Space: Finding Balance Beyond Work and Home

37:03 Fathers and the Lasting Impact on Their Sons

38:42 Nurturing Kids’ Interests for Genuine Growth

42:59 The Value of Academic Ambition

45:21 Capturing the Present: Finding Magic in Every Moment

52:46 Reflections on Seeing Your Younger Self in the Movie 

55:03 Finding Presence in Everyday Life

58:04 The Freedom of Following Your True Desires

01:04:25 Imagining the Dream Life: Building a Path to Fulfillment

01:07:29 Themes of Time and Place in the Film Here

01:09:01 The Fascination with Reaching the Moon

01:11:04 Unraveling a Deep Fascination with WWII

01:18:01 Becoming America’s Most Trusted Voice

01:21:07 Grateful for the Blessings of Family

01:22:04 Observing Life’s Passing Moments

01:27:42 Honored with Greek Citizenship

01:31:31 Tom on Final Five

Episode Resources:

Tom Hanks | Instagram

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