On Purpose with Jay Shetty

Are you feeling burnt out from dating lately?

Do you feel like you're repeating the same mistakes in dating?

Today, Jay talks about why dating burnout is a common and natural response to repeated disappointments, unmet expectations, and the overwhelming nature of modern dating apps. He notes that most respondents feel disconnected, disillusioned, and emotionally drained, which leads to frustration and reluctance to continue dating.

It is important to accept and acknowledge feelings of burnout. Jay explains that a vital first step in overcoming this is to reframe expectations and approach dating with a healthier mindset. Dating is like applying for a job, where the process may involve multiple attempts and disappointments, but persistence is key. To avoid personalizing every rejection, focus on their self-worth, be kinder to themselves, and build resilience throughout the dating journey.

Jay highlights the importance of identifying and aligning with core values, explaining that these are the foundation for long-term relationship success. 

In this episode you'll learn:

How to Overcome Dating Burnout

How to Spot Red Flags Early

How to Build Resilience in Dating

How to Align with Your Core Values

How to Reframe Rejection Positively

By approaching dating with less pressure, identifying red flags early, and giving second chances, you can create healthier, more meaningful connections while avoiding emotional exhaustion.

With Love and Gratitude,

Jay Shetty

What We Discuss:

00:00 Intro

01:44 Are You Dealing with Dating Burnout?

05:43 Approach Dating with Higher Resilience

08:10 Four Red Flags of Poor Communication

11:39 Attraction is Beyond What You See

13:08 The Pressure to Present Yourself in a Certain Way

18:04 Focus on Having One Conversation at a Time

22:39 Why Do We Get Bored When Dating?

23:54 3 Strategies to Successful Dating

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What would you tell your 14-year-old self?

How do you quiet the “not good enough” voice?

Today, Jay welcomes Ryan Holiday, renowned philosopher, bestselling author, and host of The Daily Stoic. With over 10 million copies of his books sold globally, Ryan returns to the podcast to dive deep into the concepts of personal growth, parenting, and finding purpose in a success-driven world.

Ryan reflects on the journey of becoming a parent and discusses the difference between having kids and truly being a parent. He explains why intentional parenting is a radical shift from simply fulfilling biological or legal roles and explores the transformative impact of parenthood on personal and professional ambitions, emphasizing the importance of being prepared for the changes it brings.

Jay also opens up about his own thoughts on parenthood and the life shifts that accompany major decisions, offering a heartfelt glimpse into the conversations he’s had with his wife about the timing of having children. Throughout the conversation, both Jay and Ryan unpack the struggles of balancing a career with personal life, with Ryan drawing from Stoic philosophy to offer guidance on setting meaningful goals, aligning actions with values, and learning from life's obstacles.

In this interview, you'll learn:

How to Embrace Parenthood as a Central Life Purpose

How to Set Goals Based on What’s in Your Control

How to Approach Parenting with Intention and Purpose

How to Learn from Life’s Obstacles and Failures

How to Align Your Career with Personal Values

How to Build Emotional Resilience through Parenthood

Whether through parenting, personal growth, or our professional pursuits, the key is to stay rooted in what truly matters—our values, intentions, and the legacy we leave behind.  

With Love and Gratitude,

Jay Shetty

What We Discuss:

00:00 Intro

01:33 Are You Ready to Become a Parent?

05:43 What Type of Goal Should We Set?

10:54 Love What You’re Doing

18:59 Stuck in Life

22:06 Trust the Process

26:04 Patience

30:18 Process of Accumulating Experiences

33:35 What Difference Are You Making?

35:57 Raise a Reader

40:14 What Are You Struggling With?

45:00 General Parenting Tip

52:56 Unconditional Parental Love

58:50 Do What’s Important to You

01:02:04 What is at Stake?

01:06:03 Comparison Game

01:09:36 Dad Guilt

01:15:30 Fear as a Parent

01:19:11 This Stops with Me     

Episode Resources:

Ryan Holiday | Website

Ryan Holiday | Instagram

Ryan Holiday | Facebook

Ryan Holiday | TikTok

Ryan Holiday | YouTube 

Ryan Holiday | LinkedIn

The Daily Dad: 366 Meditations on Parenting, Love, and Raising Great Kids

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Have you ever thought about taking a solo trip?

What do you think you'd learn about yourself if you traveled alone?

Today, Jay unpacks the unexpected benefits of solo travel. Whether you’re an avid traveler or someone hesitant to step out of your comfort zone, traveling alone, even just once, can be one of the most powerful experiences of your life. 

Jay explains how solo travel helps break free from the “herd mentality”—when we defer to the preferences of those around us—and instead allows us to deeply understand our own desires and needs. You’ll learn how traveling alone can expand your worldview, teach self-reliance, and push you to explore not just new places but new aspects of yourself.

In this episode, you'll learn:

How to Expand Your Worldview 

How to Boost Self-Reliance

How to Connect with New People and Cultures

How to Build Confidence Through Solo Travel

Whether you're seeking new perspectives or personal growth, traveling alone can be a powerful tool to reconnect with your true self.

With Love and Gratitude,

Jay Shetty

What We Discuss:

00:00 Intro

01:48 Do You Need to Go on a Solo Trip?

04:50 #1: Learn More About Yourself

11:10 #2: Improve Your Confidence

13:43 #3: Expand Your Worldview 

16:53 #4: Develop Self-Reliance

19:49 #5: Master Your Mind

21:54 #6: Beat Boredom and Distraction

23:09 #7: Vigilance

24:55 #8: Get to Know Diverse People

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What are your emotional needs?

How do you communicate them clearly?

Today, Jay welcomes back Dr. Nicole LePera, a holistic psychologist, best-selling author, and founder of the SelfHealers Circle, a global community for self-healing. She is the author of the New York Times bestseller "How to Do the Work," and her latest book, "How to Be the Love You Seek," guides readers on breaking cycles, finding peace, and healing relationships. Dr. LePera is known for her approachable, transformative approach to mental wellness, empowering individuals to heal themselves and live authentically.

Nicole talks about how our earliest experiences shape our adult relationships. She explains the concept of trauma bonds—dysfunctional patterns that often stem from childhood but persist into adulthood, affecting how we connect with others. These bonds can feel familiar and even comforting, but they often prevent us from forming healthy, fulfilling relationships.

Jay and Nicole explore how awareness is the first step toward breaking these patterns. They emphasize the importance of understanding our subconscious beliefs and the roles we play in relationships, often unknowingly repeating cycles of pain and misunderstanding. She talks about the importance of staying present, learning to regulate our emotions, and building healthier habits that align with our true selves, and offers practical advice on how to navigate the complexities of love, whether it's setting boundaries with toxic family members or letting go of unrealistic expectations in romantic relationships.

In this interview, you'll learn:

How to recognize trauma bonds

How to break the cycle of reactivity

How to set healthy boundaries

How to cultivate self-awareness

How to develop emotional resilience

How to foster a growth mindset in relationships

Remember, every moment is an opportunity to choose differently, to show up for ourselves with kindness, and to build the relationships we truly deserve.

With Love and Gratitude,

Jay Shetty

What We Discuss:

00:00 Intro

03:44 You Create Change

06:58 Toxic Family Members

11:21 Change is Voluntary

14:33 Deep Rooted Emotions

18:35 Why We Struggle in Relationships

22:58 The Unmet Needs

27:27 We Project What We Think to Others

34:29 Familiarity with Chaos

38:18 Is It Genuine Love?

41:55 Panic Attack

48:54 Chronic Illness

53:54 Countering Beliefs

57:17 Physiological Shifts

01:01:11 What is a Trauma Bond?

01:04:25 Attraction Based on Familiarity

01:06:24 Inner Child Work

01:09:41 The Habit of Showing Up Authentically

Episode Resources:

Nicole LePera | Website

Nicole LePera | Instagram

Nicole LePera | Facebook

Nicole LePera | TikTok

Nicole LePera | YouTube 

Nicole LePera | LinkedIn

How to Do the Work: Recognize Your Patterns, Heal from Your Past, and Create Your Self

How to Be the Love You Seek: Break Cycles, Find Peace, and Heal Your Relationships

Special thank you to Kajabi. Visit: https://kajabi.com/JayShetty

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What lessons have you learned from your past 12 months?

How have your goals evolved over the past months?

Today, Jay reflects on the 12 key lessons he has learned over the past year. He begins by discussing the idea that the seeds we plant—our actions and intentions—manifest as either flowers or weeds, the importance of pursuing meaningful actions for personal fulfillment rather than external validation, and how to distinguish between setting goals and choosing growth, underscoring that genuine progress requires a commitment to personal development rather than simply aiming for outcomes.

The episode highlights the importance of protecting one's purpose from external distractions and maintaining a clear focus on one's path, the challenges we face as opportunities to grow into who we're meant to be, and the concept of defining experiences proactively to shape our own narratives rather than letting circumstances dictate our identities.

In this episode, you'll learn:

How to handle envy with love

How to act for fulfillment, not praise

How to focus on growth, not just goals

How to guard your purpose from distractions

How to use challenges to evolve

How to stay open to unexpected help

Stay open to the unexpected, protect your passions, and choose growth over comfort. By doing so, you not only transform your own life but also inspire those around you to do the same.

With Love and Gratitude,

Jay Shetty

What We Discuss:

00:00 Intro

02:29 Lessons Learned in the Past 12 Months

03:50 #1: The seeds you planted in the past will grow into flowers or weeds today.

07:08 #2: Envy will erode your life.

10:27 #3: People forget things quickly, do the right thing and what's meaningful to you.

13:06 #4: Everyone sets goals, not everyone chooses growth.

15:00 #5: Don't let anyone deter you from your purpose.

16:45 #6: Your challenge is designed for you to become who you're meant to become.

18:37 #7: You'll let things define you if you don't define them first.

19:35 #8: Help can come from unlikely sources in unlikely ways.

21:34 #9: Try to see things as an invitation, not an impediment. 

24:07 #10: Sometimes to get to your dreams, you have to take the stairs, the elevator, or come through the roof.

25:17 #11: The people you leave behind will feel left behind no matter what you do.

26:35 #12 Love is not enough.

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Are you struggling to overcome your past trauma?

Are you looking for ways to heal from it?

Today, Jay sits down with renowned reggaeton artist and songwriter Nicky Jam. Nicky's music career took off after a series of successful mixtapes and collaborations with other artists, including Daddy Yankee, with whom he formed the iconic duo Los Cangris. His work has earned him international fame and multiple awards, establishing him as a major influence in the reggaeton and Latin trap genres. 

Nicky recounts his first foray into music, packing groceries and freestyling at a supermarket, which inadvertently launched his career despite his young age and the informal nature of his work. He opens up about the difficulties of his upbringing, including his mother’s struggle with substance abuse and prostitution, shaping his understanding of normalcy and family life. This background set the stage for his initial break into the music industry, where early rejections and setbacks paved the way for his eventual success in the Puerto Rican mixtape scene and beyond.

Together with Jay, Nicky also discusses the challenges of maintaining authenticity and personal happiness amidst fame, expressing discomfort with being seen as a role model and emphasizing the importance of understanding and support for mental health, especially for men in the public eye. Despite ongoing struggles with PTSD, anxiety, and the scars of his traumatic past, Nicky remains hopeful and driven, looking forward to continuing his career and making a positive impact through his work and personal experiences.

In this interview, you'll learn:

How to handle early setbacks

How to deal with the pressure of expectations

How to use personal struggles as a source of strength

How to maintain creativity under pressure

How to find redemption through new opportunities

How to help others through your work

Nicky's story demonstrates that with unwavering determination and a genuine approach, it's possible to transform challenging beginnings into legacies of success and enduring influence.

With Love and Gratitude,

Jay Shetty

What We Discuss:

00:00 Intro

03:12 Earliest Childhood Memory

04:06 First Deal

06:44 I Was Happy with the Album

08:15 Life on the Streets

12:06 There’s a Different World Out There

15:22 Looking for Billy

17:20 Simpler or Complicated Life?

19:05 Commands Don’t Work on Me

24:58 Battling Alcohol Addiction

31:06 Drug and Alcohol Problem

34:20 Finding Help

36:40 Feeling Alone

39:18 Almost Dying

42:52 Prison Life

45:59 Moving to Columbia

52:00 My Mom is Different

54:48 Do You Pray a Lot?

58:01 Reconciliation

59:49 Forgiveness

01:05:31 I’m not Retiring

01:09:24 My Album is My Story

01:10:11 Some Misunderstanding People Have

01:12:37 Surgery and Recovery

01:13:46 Talking is Therapy

01:15:12 Nicky on Fast Five

Episode Resources:

Nicky Jam | Website

Nicky Jam | Instagram

Nicky Jam | Facebook

Nicky Jam | TikTok

Nicky Jam | YouTube

Dubbed by ElevenLabs and this link: https://elevenlabs.io/jay_shetty

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Do you feel unproductive?

How can you boost your daily productivity?

Today, Jay talks about how to become productive without feeling burned out. In a world where productivity often leads to burnout, Jay offers practical and transformative strategies to help you achieve more while reducing stress. Whether you're feeling overwhelmed by an endless to-do list or struggling to manage your time effectively, this episode provides the tools you need to reclaim your focus and energy. 

Jay shares the importance of creating a workspace that fuels productivity and how subtle changes, like scent and sound, can enhance your environment. He also highlights the significance of workplace trust and how identifying whether an issue is people- or system-related can save you time and energy. He wraps up with insights on "monk mode," a method to achieve deep focus in the midst of distractions, and encourages listeners to experiment with these principles to find what works best for them..

In this episode, you'll learn:

How to focus on one task at a time for better productivity

How to identify key drivers of success 

How to lean into your momentum for maximum output

How to use a 'to start' list instead of a to-do list

Tune in to discover how to be productive without compromising your well-being, and walk away with actionable tips that you can implement immediately. 

With Love and Gratitude,

Jay Shetty

What We Discuss:

00:00 Intro

02:29 Burnt Out Already?

04:03 Tip #1: Doing One Thing at a Time

10:10 Tip #2: Clean Your External Space

12:40 Tip #3: Create a To-Start-List

14:17 Tip #4: Give Yourself Positive Validation of Task Completion

18:51 Tip #5: No Email Until 10AM

19:47 Tip #6: Goal of the Day, Goal of the Week

22:03 Tip #7: Know When is Your Most Productive Time

23:41 Tip #8: Create a Space of Workplace Trust

26:21 Tip #9: Focus on What’s Causing Success or Failure

27:42 Tip #10: Lock Into Your Task

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What's a simple negotiation trick you can try today?

How can you get better at persuading others?

Today, Jay welcomes former FBI lead international kidnapping negotiator and author of "Never Split the Difference", Chris Voss. He is renowned for his innovative negotiation strategies that emphasize empathy, emotional intelligence, and tactical communication. After retiring from the FBI, Voss founded The Black Swan Group, a negotiation, training, coaching, and consulting organization that teaches people how to achieve better outcomes in high-stakes conversations.

Chris discusses his journey from being on a SWAT team to becoming a lead FBI negotiator. He shares that his career path changed after a knee injury and his growing interest in crisis response led him to hostage negotiation where he found the work more satisfying than his previous roles, emphasizing the importance of decisive action in crises.

Chris and Jay discuss how human beings are naturally wired to be negative as a survival mechanism, which impacts negotiations. He reframes negotiation as a collaborative process rather than a confrontational one and suggests that effective negotiation often goes unnoticed because it looks like seamless collaboration. They also talk about gender dynamics in negotiation, with Voss providing advice on how women can better negotiate in environments where they might be undervalued.  

In this interview, you'll learn:

How to calm tense talks

How to negotiate with narcissists

How to disarm aggression

How to foster collaboration

How to build rapport

In any situation, effective negotiation is not about winning at all costs but about creating a shared path forward that benefits everyone involved. 

With Love and Gratitude,

Jay Shetty

What We Discuss:

00:00 Intro

01:23 Becoming a Lead Negotiator

04:08 Suicide Hotline Conversations

08:03 Labeling the Negative Emotions

09:35 Negotiation Isn’t a Form of Conflict

14:59 How to Get Someone to Collaborate with You?

21:15 How Do You Slow Down?

25:10 How Do You Prepare for a Negotiation?

29:54 Biggest Negotiation Mistakes

31:42 Always Look for the Patterns

40:20 Used and Taken Advantage Of

44:21 The Illusion of Control

46:17 What’s Your Intention?

48:37 How to Negotiate a Better Salary?

50:49 Reward Strategy in the Workplace

53:33 Negotiating Unfulfilled Salary Raise 

58:57 How Can Women Negotiate Better?

01:00:57 Negotiations That Don’t End with a Deal

01:05:03 Work with the ELFs

01:11:05 Polite Boundary Setting

01:16:29 How to Not Be Emotional When Negotiating

01:22:08 Are You in the Right Relationship?

01:25:55 Respecting Other People’s Values

01:30:52 Tactical Empathy Documentary

01:34:01 Chris on Final Five

Episode Resources:

Chris Voss | Website

Chris Voss | Instagram

Chris Voss | LinkedIn

Never Split the Difference: Negotiating As If Your Life Depended On It

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How did you realize they weren't the one for you?

How did you cope with the heartbreak?

Today shares a detailed exploration of the emotional journey involved in recognizing and accepting that someone you once believed was "the one" for you, wasn't actually the right person. Often, it’s common for people to convince themselves that someone is the perfect partner, even before that person has committed or shown signs of being a suitable match. This can lead to heartbreak when the relationship fails, but  it’s okay because the person wasn't truly right for them either.

Jay also discusses the importance of understanding whether the person was truly healed from past wounds or whether they were presenting a version of themselves that wasn’t authentic. Consider the idea that sometimes people stay in relationships out of fear of being alone rather than genuine love or connection. And if a partner is unable or unwilling to engage in meaningful conversations, they might not be the right person.

In this episode you'll learn:

How to recognize when someone isn't right for you

How to focus on your partner's reality, not ideals

How to prioritize meaningful conversations

How to stay self-aware after a breakup

How to balance emotions in a relationship

Remember, it's okay if someone wasn't the one for you—what matters most is that you remain true to yourself and continue to seek the love and connection you deserve. 

With Love and Gratitude,

Jay Shetty

What We Discuss:

00:00 Intro

01:54 They Weren’t For You and That’s Okay

05:04 #1: When People Show You Who They Are, Believe Them

09:09 #2: They Never Showed Up When It Mattered

10:55 #3: They’re Still Healing

12:41 #4: They Kept Saying We Can’t Do This

16:37 #5: You Were Chasing the Whole Time

18:53 #6: They Made You Feel Detached

19:13 #7: You Are More Scared Of Being Alone Than Be With Them 

20:58 #8: They Couldn’t Open Up in Meaningful Conversations

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How do you help your children build confidence?

How do you teach your kids to be resilient?

Today, Jay welcomes Dr. Aliza Pressman. Aliza is a developmental psychologist with nearly two decades of experience working with families and healthcare providers. She is the host of the Raising Good Humans podcast and an expert in parenting strategies and child development. Dr. Pressman is also the author of The Five Principles of Parenting: Your Essential Guide to Raising Good Humans, where she offers practical advice and insights for parents looking to raise emotionally resilient and well-rounded children. 

Aliza begins by discussing whether everyone should become a parent and emphasizes the importance of being intentional and reflective before making that decision. She suggests that potential parents should think about their own values and how they want to approach parenting. She explains that having a strong, secure bond with a child is crucial for their development and that this bond can evolve over time, even if there have been mistakes along the way. 

Some children are more sensitive and require a specific environment to thrive, while others are more adaptable. She encourages parents to be mindful of their child’s unique needs. The discussion moves on to discipline and encouragement. Dr. Pressman suggests that discipline should focus on teaching rather than punishing, with clear boundaries set for the child’s safety and well-being. When it comes to building confidence, she emphasizes that helping children develop skills (competence) is more effective than simply giving praise.

In this interview, you'll learn:

How to handle parenting guilt and shame

How to set boundaries for your child

How to build your child’s confidence

How to discipline effectively

How to foster independence in your child

How to build a secure attachment with your child

By focusing on building secure attachments, setting clear boundaries, and fostering independence, parents can create a nurturing environment where their children can thrive. 

With Love and Gratitude,

Jay Shetty

What We Discuss:

00:00 Intro

02:57 Should Everyone Be a Parent?

04:29 How Do We Get to Be Who We Are?

05:50 Secure Attachment Relationship

07:15 Feeling of Guilt and Shame as a Parent

11:07 Tiny Moments to Build Resilience

15:31 The Tendency to Overcorrect

17:03 What is Effective Reflection?

21:44 Learn to Reflect with Your Children

26:31 Failure as a Parent

31:14 Different Forms of Communication with Children

35:10 What is the Right Approach to Discipline?

39:10 Three Parenting Styles 

41:36 Tension and Rejection Can Be a Motivation

45:34 Dealing with a Child Who Doesn’t Want to Open Up

50:12 Your Presence is Important

51:46 How to Have a Social Media Conversation?

57:12 How to Raise a Confident Human?

01:01:40 Allow Kids to Showcase What They Learned

01:05:53 Adults Can Work on Themselves

01:07:23 Aliza on Final Five

Episode Resources:

Dr. Aliza Pressman | Website

Dr. Aliza Pressman | Instagram

Dr. Aliza Pressman | Facebook

Raising Good Humans

The 5 Principles of Parenting: Your Essential Guide to Raising Good Humans

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