On The Mend

Gabby was the first female football anchor on terrestrial television and she’s perfected the art of asking great questions, while covering a wide range of international sporting events. 

In this episode, Matt turns the tables on Gabby, and she speaks with great honesty, sharing moments and insights from her life and career.

Sporty and very driven from an early age, Gabby competed at the Commonwealth Games when she was still a teenager. But when her gymnastics career came to an abrupt end, she had to find a new direction. And this big change was followed by the shocking loss of her brother Daniel, when he was just 15 years old.

Gabby talks about the impact of grief on her family and how she found the support to deal with her own. She shares how she found confidence as a broadcaster and learned to accept the competitiveness that was forged in a sporting environment.

Gabby also reflects on the challenges and the joy she’s experienced raising her own family; and the wisdom and life-changing lessons she’s gained through her own podcast, The Mid.Point.

(01:40) Gabby’s sporty childhood

(04:01) Owning competitiveness

(07:24) British self-deprecation vs. the mentality in the US

(09:06) Honesty vs. brutal honesty

(10:28) Gabby’s love of order and finding compromise as a family

(12:33) Gabby’s gymnastics career (and finding a new direction when it was gone)

(15:27) The death of Gabby’s brother, Daniel, when he was just 15

(18.28) The impact on Gabby’s family (and varied ways of dealing with grief)

(21:30) The negative consequences of avoiding grief

(26:35) Her father’s self-destructive behaviour and the challenge of providing support

(38:26) Gabby’s mentor Ed Percival, NLP, and finding confidence at work

(44:06) Meeting her husband Kenny

(45:16) Wim Hoff and trying cold water therapy on Freeze The Fear

(48:03) Gabby’s podcast, The Mid.Point

(53:14) The importance of exercise and being truly present at family time

(55:34) Writing The Midpoint Plan

(56:44) Matt’s outro

Related links:

The Mid.Point: The Prostate Episode, with Kenny Logan

NHS guidance on prostate cancer

Gabby’s new book: The Midpoint Plan

Gabby’s memoir: The First Half

Gabby takes the plunge on BBC One’s Freeze The Fear

The Sports Agents podcast

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This week Matt is sharing the top 3 books that have shaped his life and his journey as a recovered addict. He’ll be breaking down exactly why they mean so much to him – and why you should consider checking them out too!
Matt has sprinkled some bonus honourable mentions, plus some feedback from all of you lovely listeners! We recently asked Matt’s Instagram followers to recommend their life-changing reads, and boy did you guys deliver. We’ll be sharing some of the most popular mentions in this episode.
So pop on your reading hat, prepare for a trip to your local bookstore, and get ready to soak up these must-reads!
Did we miss your favourite book? Leave a comment and let us know!

Related links:
How To Be Your Own Therapist by Owen O’KaneAlcoholics AnonymousThe Chimp Paradox by Professor Steve PetersThe War Of Art by Stephen PressfieldChasing The Scream by Johann Hari

0:00) Intro

(0:11) Gratitude list

(0:39) Spending time in Ibiza

(1:03) Struggling with sleep

(1:38) Matt on getting to work with his wife Emma

(2:09) Gratitude for the On The Mend team

(3:15) Struggling to read

(4:42) How To Be Your Own Therapist by Owen O’Kane

(5:16) Alcoholics Anonymous

(11:23) The Chimp Paradox by Professor Steve Peters

(13:33) The War Of Art by Stephen Pressfield

(16:35) Dr Gabor Mate

(17:13) Johann Hari

(18:26) What books do the On The Mend listeners recommend?

(21:40) What to do if you don’t like reading

(22:28) Outro

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This week’s guest is Johann Hari, whose books and TED Talks on depression, anxiety, and addiction have reached millions of people.

His 2015 talk Everything You Think You Know About Addiction Is Wrong had a huge impact on Matt, changing how he thought about his own recovery.

Matt then devoured Johann’s first book Chasing The Scream which looked at the war on drugs, through the story of Billie Holiday. While writing this book, Johann travelled the world to find out how different countries and cultures are dealing with addiction. Because, when it comes to treatment, prevention and enforcement, some countries have got it nailed... and some really haven't. In fact, many countries (including the UK) have got a lot to learn when it comes to our attitudes towards drugs and addiction.

This conversation dives into Billie Holiday’s story and the legacy of Harry J Anslinger’s war on drugs; the importance of connection and compassion in addiction recovery; and what we can learn from innovations in countries like Portugal and Switzerland, and, at the community level, in Vancouver.

(01:10) Johann’s funeral song (a surprising choice, but perhaps not for Busted fans)

(02:44) The impact of Johann’s Ted Talk on Matt

(04:45) Johann’s motivation for researching addiction

(08:43) The Rat Park experiment and the importance of connection

(13:26) The U.S. vs. Billie Holiday and what this story teaches us about the war on drugs

(27:36) Addiction treatment in the prison system

(32:32) Shame and stigma in addiction (and the importance of looking at multiple factors)

(43:40) The impact of junk values in contemporary society

(51:00) Looking for, and fixating on, negative feedback

(53:36) The different approach to addiction in Portugal 

(59:07) Andrew Sullivan, gay marriage, and important cultural change

(01:01:59) Decriminalisation vs. legalisation and the Swiss approach to addiction

(01:06:22) The power of ordinary people in cultural change

(01:07:54) What we can learn from Vancouver (Bud Osborn and Philip Owen)

(01:14:24) Concluding thoughts from Johann and Matt

Related links:

Johann’s books

The film adaptation of Chasing The Scream: The United States vs, Billie Holiday

Billie Holiday’s Strange Fruit

Bruce K Alexander’s Rat Park experiment

Joe Arpaio’s Tent City

Dr Vincent J Felitti

Dr Gabor Maté 

Professor Tim Kasser’s The High Price of Materialism and his experiment with Nathan Duncan

Portugal’s Dr João Goulão

Virtually Normal by Andrew Sullivan

Former President of Switzerland Ruth Dreifuss

The Vancouver Area Network of Drug Users: VANDU

Former Vancouver Mayor Philip Owen

NHS: Getting Help for Drug Addiction

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Matt dives into the world of hypnosis with the psychiatrist Dr David Spiegel.

In this episode, Matt finds out just how susceptible he is to hypnosis, with results that truly blow him away, and he gets some practical tips on how to reduce anxiety.

Dr Spiegel is the Director of the Center on Stress and Health at Stanford University School of Medicine and a leading authority on hypnosis. He has 50 years experience in this field and he uses hypnosis as a problem-solving tool to treat physical and mental issues - including pain, addiction, anxiety and trauma.

He talks to Matt about this fascinating therapeutic tool and how he’s giving more people the opportunity to use self-hypnosis, to better manage their minds and bodies, through his Reveri app.

Related links:

The Reveri app use the code MATT20 for a 20% discount

More on Dr David Spiegel

Cyclic Sighing

Dr Andrew Huberman

Dr Gabor Maté 

Dopamine Nation by Dr Anna Lembke

(01:46) Dr Herbert Spiegel (David’s father and a pioneer in hypnosis)

(04:38) What is hypnosis and how does it work?

(05:46) Dr Spiegel’s first experience of using hypnosis 

(09:41) Is hypnosis safe?

(11:54) How cyclic sighing calms your body and improves your mood

(15:56) The many conditions hypnosis can help (including migraines and phobias)

(19:52) Differing levels of hypnotisability

(21:44) Dr Spiegel tests Matt’s hypnotisability

(27:40) Hypnosis and addiction (including smoking)

(30:00) Hypnosis and trauma

(40:18) Relapse prevention (and the role of dopamine in addiction)

(42:08) The Reveri hypnosis app

(45:09) Hypnosis and anxiety (including practical tips for performers like Matt)

(53:01) Matt’s outro (he’s both amazed and more relaxed)

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Matt chats to the BAFTA Award-winning YouTube star, and campaigner, Nikki Lilly.

At the age of six, Nikki was diagnosed with a high flow craniofacial AVM (Arteriovenous Malformation). A rare condition which causes life-threatening nose bleeds and extreme swelling. Since then, Nikki’s had almost one hundred medical procedures, as well as therapy, to help process the trauma and pain.

When Nikki started vlogging two years later, she was spending a lot of time at home. She often felt disconnected from the world, from her peers, and she was looking for something to do. But her YouTube channel had an unexpected impact – helping her reach millions of people, while covering a range of topics, from online bullying, to chronic illness, mental health, and make-up (a big passion).

Nikki was only 19 at the time of recording this conversation but she has wisdom and strength beyond her years. And she’s determined to make a positive difference by sharing her story and films.

Related links:

Nikki’s YouTube Channel

Tik Tok

The Butterfly AVM Charity

Nikki’s award-winning BBC documentary: Born To Vlog

(01:35) Nikki on her BAFTA Award (and fear of public speaking)

(04:16) Posting her first YouTube video (and dealing with negative comments)

(18:49) Nikki’s time in hospital and disconnection from her peers

(22:02) What is AVM? (Arteriovenous Malformation)

(26:33) How therapy has helped Nikki

(35:02) Dissociation and how Nikki grounds herself

(37:37) Importance of alone time

(42:45) Parental support

(45:36) The power in make-up

(51:36) Being an inspiration and advocate for visible difference

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We’re 8 episodes into series 2 of On The Mend… and what a journey it’s been so far!

It’s about time we looked back on some of our best moments. So today, Matt is reflecting on the lessons his recent guests have taught him. Unpicking the key messages that have stuck with him for weeks on end – and are sure to stick with you too. 

We’re looking back on our chats with Geordie Queen Vicky Pattison, Alcohol-Free Advocate Andy Ramage, and Mental Health Pioneer Ruby Wax. Each had their own story to tell. From the fear of passing problems on to your kids, to understanding what ‘middle lane drinking’ is, to taking the stigma away from depression, there’s plenty for us to dive into. 

What’s been your favourite moment from series 2? Leave a comment. We’d love to know!

(0:00) Intro

(0:59) Daily Gratitude (new ice bath!)

(1:51) Spending more time with my wife

(3:05) Spending more time with my son

(4:40) What have I learnt from On The Mend’s guests so far?

(5:12) What I’ve learnt from Vicky Pattison 

(8:30) Is addiction genetic or generational trauma?

(12:45) What Andy Ramage taught me about ‘middle lane drinking’

(21:05) What Ruby Wax taught me about mental health

(25:36) Outro

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Matt speaks to his very own psychiatrist, Dr James Kustow, about adult ADHD.

James studied medicine, before training in psychiatry. He’s now a consultant who specialises in ADHD and has trained further in psychotherapy and nutrition. 

But being an expert is only half of the story. Because, like Matt, James was also diagnosed with ADHD as an adult.

In this wide-ranging conversation, the pair talk about ADHD symptoms, diagnosis, the correlation with addiction, the use of medication, and the different targets for intervention that James explores, before taking a pharmaceutical approach.

Related links:

Dr James Kustow

How to Thrive with Adult ADHD: 7 Pillars for Focus, Productivity and Balance

Dr William Dodson on emotional regulation

Dr Carol Dweck’s Growth Mindset

EFT (emotional freedom techniques)

NHS Guide to ADHD

(01:55) James’ training and specialism in ADHD

(05:06) What is ADHD

(09:50) Matt’s ADHD diagnosis

(10:47) Rejection sensitive dysphoria (RSD)

(13:25) The clarity that comes with diagnosis 

(15:10) More on the symptoms of ADHD

(17:50) Adult onset ADHD, and other factors (environment, hyper-mobility & inflammation)

(22:18) The ADHD assessment and childhood history

(28:57) James’ ADHD diagnosis

(34:25) The challenge of achieving goals and completing tasks 

(37:42) Variations in the presentation of ADHD

(41:38) ADHD and addiction

(45:46) Medication

(55:18) Growth mindset

(59:56) Sleep, routine & ADHD

(1:01:33) Taking control of your time

(1:05:02) Systems to avoid feeling overloaded

(1:08:30) Looking at physical health 

(1:11:00) Emotional regulation techniques

(1:12:36) Matt’s outro

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This week we're getting personal! 
Matt is upping the vulnerability scale, as he lets the closest people in his life – colleagues, friends, and even his wife – fire a round of constructive criticism his way.
Getting feedback about your flaws is extremely scary. But it's a powerful way to identify the things you need to work on. And if Matt can do it, so can all of you listening!
Wherever you are in your addiction recovery journey, mental health journey, or general self development journey, this is a pitstop you'll want to take note of. 

(0:00) Daily gratitude
(3:15) Criticism and feedback
(4:52) Becoming comfortable with criticism (learn to be vulnerable!)
(9:15) Learning to follow through 
(11:10) Stop swearing so much!
(13:47) Passion being your strength and your flaw
(14:53) Criticism from my wife, Emma
(17:50) Advice from Jordan Stephens (Rizzle Kicks) on changing your environment
(19:30) How to work on your problems
(19:58) How to live honestly 
(22:10) Holding your partner accountable
(24:32) outro  

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