On The Mend

This week’s guest is Ruby Wax. A comedian, writer, and mental health advocate, who has wisdom to spare.

When she was younger, Ruby often felt lonely - like she didn’t fit in - and she turned to comedy. A reinvention that gave Ruby a taste for attention and led her to drama school, and eventually her own television show in which she met the biggest celebrities of the day.

After 25 years in television, Ruby reinvented herself once again. She studied mindfulness-based cognitive therapy at Oxford University. And she now works to remove the stigma around mental health. Not least in her book - I’m Not As Well As I Thought I Was - a very personal account of depression and the adventures she followed to find meaning in her life.

Related links:

Ruby’s website

Ruby’s books, including I’m Not As Well As I Thought I Was and A Mindfulness Guide For Survival

Ruby’s tour

When Ruby Wax Met (BBC series)

Frazzled Cafe

NHS Guide to Local Mental Health Services

Mind’s Guide to Crisis Services

Esther Perel (one of Ruby’s heroes)

The Body Keeps The Score by Bessel van der Kolk

Dr Dan Siegel

Sam Harris

Jon Kabat-Zinn on mindfulness

(02:14) Soft toy vs green juice (04:22) Ruby’s book (I’m Not As Well As I Thought I Was) (12:00) Depression, and coming off antidepressants (13:38) EMDR, ECT, and other treatments (17:19) De-stigmatising depression, while taking it seriously (20:24) Psilocybin therapy (22:41) Mindfulness and a 30-day silent retreat (28:24) Ruby’s mindfulness practice (37:36) The addict label and the victim mentality(39:55) Ruby’s heroes, including Esther Perel, Bessel van der Kolk, Dan Siegel and Sam Harris(42:17) Reinvention (and the addictiveness of fame)(45:15) Ruby Wax Meets (Pamela Anderson, Carrie Fisher, Donald Trump & Liza Minnelli)(48:42) Ruby’s tour (and playing all the parts in her book)(51:26) Matt’s outro

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Matt is putting himself in the hot seat for today’s episode! We’ve rounded up some of your most pressing questions for an honest, judgment-free Q and A session, where Matt shares some of his own personal experiences in hopes that some of you guys will resonate.

We’re diving deep into the aspects of sobriety nobody talks about, how to deal with anxiety, managing family life, and much more.

If you have a question that Matt didn’t cover, we’d like to do more of these! Just leave a reply in the Q and A box below.

(00:00) – Introduction 

(00:31) – Daily gratitude 

(03:54) – How am I? (struggling with sleep)

(06:40) – How to manage your time better

(07:56) – Quick breathing exercise for anxiety 

(11:00) – Following a 12-step programme for sobriety 

(16:24) – Maintaining a schedule 

(18:08) – Has being in a band made addiction harder?

(21:26) – Setting boundaries

(23:16) – Busted tours are better sober!

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Matt meets Andy Ramage, a footballer who became a commodities broker, when injury ended his career. 

While Andy's career was a success, something was missing. He felt broken. And so ten years ago, he embarked on a journey to transform his life.

Andy realised that alcohol was impacting how he felt, and his ability to get things done. So, he set his sights on a 90 days booze-free challenge. And he’s never looked back.

If you need a bit of motivation right now, whatever challenge you want to take on, Andy’s the man for the occasion.

Related links:

Andy’s website (with free resources and coaching workshops)

Andy’s books: Let’s Do This & The 28 Day Alcohol-Free Challenge

The Alcohol-Free Advantage Podcast with Andy Ramage

The Dryy App

Dryy Fest

NHS Alcohol Support Services

Nick Littlehales’ Sleep 

BJ Fogg’s Tiny Habits

(01:23) Andy’s move from football into broking

(05:40) Andy’s definition of “middle-lane drinking”

(08:42) Wanting to try alcohol-free (and the social pressure around drinking)

(14:37) Andy's diagnosis of coronary artery calcification

(16:32) Living optimally alcohol-free - the health benefits

(20:46) Matt’s experience of people asking him about their own drinking

(21:58) Andy’s advice for starting an alcohol-free journey (moving past the excuses)

(25:33) The effect that middle lane drinking has on your sleep, performance and health

(31:00) What’s going on in your brain (chasing that dopamine spike

(34:32) Relationships with people who aren’t alcohol-free

(37:57) The red wine myth (resveratrol) and “magic grannies”

(40:34) Socialising, alcohol-free drinks, and Dryy Fest (46:57) Studying in later life

(48:22) Willpower and motivational psychology

(49:48) Andy’s advice for building exercise habits (and core values)

(54:40) The stages of change and accepting that you will slip up

(58:14) Matt’s outro 

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Matt is braving it for a solo episode this week! He’s stepping out of his comfort zone for a candid chat about a big part of any addict’s recovery: mental health.

It’s a topic lots of our listeners have been asking Matt to open up about. So today, he’s breaking down the day-to-day practices that have helped him the most – and can help you too.

Some of these habits Matt developed early on in his recovery journey. Others he’s only beginning to see the potential of today.

From a beginner’s introduction to meditation, to the power of a freezing cold shower (just hear us out!), to the number one way to start your day, we hope that everyone can take something away from this conversation. 

(00:00) Introduction 

(02:29) Start everyday with gratitude

(07:00) What I do for my mental health

(08:45) An introduction to meditation  

(14:14) Relaxation with binaural beats 

(16:03) Getting dopamine from cold water therapy

(21:20) Get moving everyday

(23:00) Changing my relationship with my past self

(24:00) The power of therapy

(27:47) Follow evidence over self belief 

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Matt Willis returns for a second series of On The Mend. His first guest is Vicky Pattison, a Jungle Queen, whose feet haven’t touched the ground since she first appeared on our screens in 2011. 

Geordie Shore was a baptism by fire, at a time when reality television was “a bit like the Wild West”. Vicky was only in her early 20s, she was unprepared for the spotlight, and she created a caricature of herself to hide the vulnerable person struggling inside.

But since then, Vicky has put in the work. She’s learned what makes her tick, the tools which help her anxiety, and how to navigate her own relationship with alcohol, and her father’s alcoholism. 

Vicky was determined to become the best version of herself, she seized the opportunity to change public opinion on I’m A Celebrity… And she wants to inspire the next generation of women to never dim their sparkle, and go after exactly what they want. 

This interview was recorded in March 2024, a few months after Vicky had returned from an endurance mission in the Arctic Circle, raising funds for Comic Relief. 

Related links: NACOA (The National Association for Children of Alcoholics)

NHS Alcohol Support Services

Vicky Pattison: Alcohol, Dad and Me (Channel 4)

Matt Willis: Fighting Addiction (BBC)

Snow Going Back: Comic Relief v the Arctic  (BBC)

The Secret to Happy: How to build resilience, banish self-doubt and live the life you deserve (Vicky’s book)

Vicky Pattison: The Secret To (podcast)

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Matt Willis is joined by podcaster, charity founder and cancer activist, Lauren Mahon (and her dog, Ray).

Lozza, as she likes to be called, talks to Matt about breaking the taboos around cancer, talking more openly about illnesses and death and how friends and family can really help in dark times.

They discuss her own breast cancer diagnosis, which she got aged 31, her activism, her overactive brain and why sometimes you just need to go to the cinema.

Lozza's podcast 'You Me And The Big C' can be found here, although she doesn't host it anymore, for reasons she discusses on the podcast.

It's a very open, honest and inspirational chat, and we hope that you will find it as powerful a listen, as we did recording it. (and apologies for the swears!)

If you have been effected by anything you've heard in today's episode, there are some links below for help and advice:

Macmillan Cancer Support

Good Grief Trust

NHS

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On our latest episode, Matt Willis visits Dr Rangan Chatterjee at his home for an in-depth chat about mental health and wellbeing. 

Rangan has practiced medicine for over 20 years and believes that good health is accessible to all of us. His goal is to change the way we look at illness and shares his learnings and expertise on his own podcast - 'Feel Better, Live More' - which Matt was a guest on previously. 

They discuss the feeling of shame, how powerful and negative it is, and what can be done to help people disassociate with that emotion. Dr Chatterjee also shares some simple tips for better mental health, as well as talking about the 'Four Pillars' that he lives by. 

Rangan's books are bestsellers, and his passion for making people feel better is so evident in the way he writes and speaks. In this episode, we cover addiction, mental health and mindfulness, and hope there are some good takeaways. 

If you are effected by any of the topics discussed today, here are some links which may be helpful: 

The Samaritans

AA

The NHS

Mind

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This week, Matt welcomes author, entrepreneur motivational speaker and personal trainer Tyrone Brennand to the studio.

Tyrone is the founder of Be The Fittest, a personal training company in London, and has looked to exercise and yoga his whole life, to help him through hard times.

He talks to Matt about some of the darkest times in his life, growing up without a father figure, his passion for yoga and what he does week in, week out to stay healthy in mind and body. They also discuss his book and his tips for people wanting to try yoga for the first time.

If you have been effected by anything you have heard in this episode, there are some links to help and guidance below:

Samaritans

The Mind Charity (Mindfulness techniques)

Alcoholics Anonymous

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On this week's episode of On The Mend, Matt is joined by the journalist, presenter, author and podcaster Raphael Rowe.

Raphael was wrongly convicted of a crime in the late 1980s, and spent 12 years in prison. During that time, he never gave up trying to prove his innocence and never gave up hope, even in the darkest of times.

Since being acquitted and released, Raphael has gone on to work for the BBC as a reporter on Radio 4 and regularly appears on The One Show. He hosts 'Inside The World's Toughest Prisons' on Netflix and his own podcast, 'Second Chance'.

He talks to Matt about his time in prison (and in solitary confinement), how exercise and yoga helped him get through the days and how he eventually got the authorities to listen to his appeal.

His memoir 'Notorious' talks about some of his darkest times and questions the justice system in the UK, which he also touches on in this episode.

They also discuss hope and the power of having the mental strength to get through hard times.

You can hear more from Raphael on his own podcast, Second Chance

And you can read more about the Raphael Rowe Foundation, here

If you have been affected by anything you have heard in this episode, there are some links to organisations who might be able to help you below.

Samaritans

Talking Therapies

Drug Addicts Anonymous

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This week's guest is the TV and Radio presenter, Rylan Clark.

He joins Matt in the studio to talk about the brilliant highs and crushing lows he's experienced in his life recently. After exploding on to our TV screens in 2012, as a contestant on the X-Factor, Rylan has become one of the most recognisable personalities in the UK. Known for his high energy, laughter and fabulous teeth - he is hard to miss, whether on the TV, Radio or just walking down the street.

But a couple of years ago, Rylan went through a very difficult divorce, which left him feeling the lowest he had ever been. He didn't want to leave the house, or get out of bed, and he became very ill and turned to drink.

In this episode, he opens up to Matt about the highs and lows of fame, loneliness, going through that incredibly difficult time and how he has come through the other side.

Below are some helpful links for help and advice, if you have been affected by anything you have heard in this episode.

The Samaritans

Web Of Loneliness

Alcohol Support on the NHS website

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