Overpowering Emotions: Tools for Child & Teen Anxiety and Resilience

Many kids struggle with impulse control, and adults are often left wondering why strategies don’t stick. This episode breaks down the foundations of impulsive behaviour and why so many kids react without thinking — especially when emotions are high.

Dr. Caroline explains the building blocks kids need long before self-control can happen: emotional safety, a developing prefrontal cortex, attention regulation, and the four types of impulsivity that influence behavior. You’ll learn how urgency, acting too fast, difficulty sticking with tasks, and sensation seeking show up in everyday life.

This episode helps parents, educators, and mental health professionals finally understand the why behind big reactions — and sets the groundwork for change.

Homework Ideas

Track patterns (simple, daily).

Write down:

• When impulsivity happened
• What emotion was present
• What urge the child felt
• What behaviour followed

This reveals triggers and themes.

Build “urge awareness.”

Ask your child:

• “When you feel angry, what does your body want to do first?”
• “When you're excited, what do you want to do right away?”

This grows self-observation before action.

Watch your own impulse moments.

Kids mirror adults.

Choose one moment this week to pause before reacting.

Enjoying the show? Help out by rating this podcast on Apple to help others get access to this information too! apple.co/3ysFijh

Follow Dr. Caroline

YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/@dr.carolinebuzanko

IG: https://www.instagram.com/dr.carolinebuzanko/

LinkedIn: https://ca.linkedin.com/in/dr-caroline-buzanko

Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/DrCarolineBuzanko/

Website: https://drcarolinebuzanko.com/

Resources: https://drcarolinebuzanko.com/resources/articles-child-resilience-well-being-psychology/

Business inquiries: https://korupsychology.ca/contact-us/

Want to learn more about helping kids strengthen their emotion regulation skills and problem-solving brains while boosting their confidence, independence, and resilience? Check out my many training opportunities! https://drcarolinebuzanko.com/upcoming-events/

As we close out the year, this holiday replay of Overpowering Emotions focuses on helping kids reflect on how far they’ve come and set resilience intentions for the year ahead without pressure, perfectionism, or overwhelm.

Dr. Caroline talks about why small victories matter, how to help kids notice their own growth, and how to set one or two realistic intentions that actually stick. You’ll hear how to make these conversations feel collaborative instead of corrective, how to invite kids into the process as leaders of their own growth, and how adults can act as supportive consultants rather than fixers.

This episode is for parents, educators, and professionals who want goal-setting to build kids' confidence, emotional regulation, and follow-through.

Homework ideas

The 10-minute “Year in Review” chat

Use 3 prompts:

• “What’s something you’re proud of from this year?”
• “What was hard, and what helped you get through it?”
• “What’s one skill you’re stronger at now than you were last year?”

Tip: If they shrug, offer choices: school, friends, sports, family, hobbies, health, handling stress.

Pick ONE resilience goal using the “Tiny + Clear” rule

Have your child choose one:

• Body goal: “When I’m stressed, I’ll take 10 slow breaths before I talk.”
• Mind goal: “When I make a mistake, I’ll practice one re-do instead of quitting.”
• Connection goal: “Once a week, I’ll ask for help when I’m stuck.”
• Bravery goal: “I’ll do one small uncomfortable thing each week.”

Make it specific: when / where / how often.

Create an “If-Then” coping plan (especially for anxiety/overwhelm)

• “If I feel overwhelmed, then I will ____.”
• Examples: get water, step outside, text a parent, use a coping card, take a 5-minute break.

Weekly check-in that doesn’t feel like nagging

Once a week, ask:

• “What worked?”
• “What got in the way?”
• “What’s one small tweak for this week?”

Keep it short. Aim for progress, not perfection.

Free Resources 

• The Emotional Literacy Book (https://korulearninginstitute.kit.com/emotionaliteracy)
• Holiday Guide with essential tips to support emotion regulation over the holidays (https://korulearninginstitute.kit.com/2025holidayguide)
• Goal setting blog (https://korupsychology.ca/setting-goals/)
• Episode 99 for an episode on goal setting for academics
• Problem-solving (https://korupsychology.ca/develop-problem-solving-skills/) 

(Big Goal → Small Steps)

My Big Goal

(Something I want to get better at)

Step 1: My First Small Step

What I will try this week:

When I might practice this:

☐ At school ☐ At home ☐ With friends ☐ Other: __________

Step 2: My Next Small Step

What I will try next:

How I’ll know I’m making progress:

Step 3: My Stretch Step

What I’ll try when I’m ready:

What might help if this feels hard:

Celebrating Progress

One thing I’m already proud of:

One way an adult can support me:

Front of Card

When I feel:

☐ Angry ☐ Anxious ☐ Overwhelmed ☐ Sad   ☐ Frustrated ☐ Disappointed 

☐ Other: __________

My body might feel like:

Back of Card

I can try:

☐ Take 3 slow breaths

☐ Take a short break

☐ Get a drink or snack

☐ Ask for help

☐ Use my words

☐ Move my body

☐ Remind myself:

“__________________________________________________”

If this doesn’t help, I can:

An adult who can help me is:

Enjoying the show? Help out by rating this podcast on Apple to help others get access to this information too! apple.co/3ysFijh

Follow Dr. Caroline

YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/@dr.carolinebuzanko

IG: https://www.instagram.com/dr.carolinebuzanko/

LinkedIn: https://ca.linkedin.com/in/dr-caroline-buzanko

Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/DrCarolineBuzanko/

Website: https://drcarolinebuzanko.com/

Resources: https://drcarolinebuzanko.com/resources/articles-child-resilience-well-being-psychology/

Business inquiries: https://korupsychology.ca/contact-us/

Want to learn more about helping kids strengthen their emotion regulation skills and problem-solving brains while boosting their confidence, independence, and resilience? Check out my many training opportunities! https://drcarolinebuzanko.com/upcoming-events/

Holiday break can bring joy… and a whole lot of overwhelm.

In this Holiday Special Replay of Overpowering Emotions, Dr. Caroline shares what holiday dysregulation looks like in real life (including her own family’s “never leave the house on Christmas Day” boundary), why kids melt down when routines shift, and how adults can turn everyday holiday stress into practice for emotion regulation and resilience.

You’ll hear concrete ways to keep just enough structure, reduce sensory overload, handle screen-time battles without power struggles, and teach kids to “catch it early” before emotions take over—using body awareness, code words, coping cards, and simple family rituals that build flexibility and calm.

Homework Ideas

Pick 2 “anchor routines” and protect them all break

Try:

• Same wake-up time most days (even if bedtime shifts)
• One bedtime ritual piece (hug + story, even if it’s late)
• One daily quiet-alone-time block (10–30 minutes)

Create a “Holiday Overwhelm Plan” with your kid (10 minutes)

Write together:

1. My early warning signs: (snappy, clingy, quiet, stomach aches, tears, silliness that won’t stop)
2. My resets: (bathroom break, headphones, snack, walk, quiet room, doodle)
3. My help request words: “I need a break.” / “Can we do puppy?”
4. Parent response script: “I see it. We can take five.”

Choose a code word for public situations

Do: Pick something neutral (“puppy”) and practice it once at home.

Use it when: you notice irritability, withdrawal, or escalating volume.

Goal: exit early, reset, return.

Practice “drop into the body” once a day

Do (kids + teens):

• “Where do you feel it right now?” (chest, throat, belly, head)
• Or start silly/easy: “What does your right elbow feel like?”

Why it helps: builds noticing skills before emotions hijack behavior.

Resource: Emotion wheel or feelings chart (print one and keep it visible). Check out the emotional literacy toolkit to help!

Screen boundaries that don’t become a daily war

Try one simple rule:

• Tech-free zones (bedrooms, meal table) or
• Tech-free time (first hour after waking, last hour before bed) or
• Tech-free day blocks (two afternoons a week)

When pushback hits: mirror the feeling.

“Ugh. You really wanted Minecraft today.”

(Stop there. No lecture.)

One “resilience tradition” for the week

Pick ONE:

• Gratitude jar (read on New Year’s Eve)
• Resilience ornament/tree (write a “hard thing I handled” on paper)
• Family story night: “A time I messed up and what I learned.”

Resources Mentioned:

• The Emotional Literacy Book (https://korulearninginstitute.kit.com/emotionaliteracy)
• FREE Holiday Guide with essential tips to support emotion regulation over the holidays (https://korulearninginstitute.kit.com/2025holidayguide)

Enjoying the show? Help out by rating this podcast on Apple to help others get access to this information too! apple.co/3ysFijh

Follow Dr. Caroline

YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/@dr.carolinebuzanko

IG: https://www.instagram.com/dr.carolinebuzanko/

LinkedIn: https://ca.linkedin.com/in/dr-caroline-buzanko

Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/DrCarolineBuzanko/

Website: https://drcarolinebuzanko.com/

Resources: https://drcarolinebuzanko.com/resources/articles-child-resilience-well-being-psychology/

Business inquiries: https://korupsychology.ca/contact-us/

Want to learn more about helping kids strengthen their emotion regulation skills and problem-solving brains while boosting their confidence, independence, and resilience? Check out my many training opportunities! https://drcarolinebuzanko.com/upcoming-events/

The holidays are supposed to be joyful—but for many families, they quietly amplify stress, overwhelm, and emotional reactivity.

In this special crossover episode with Parents of the Year podcast, Dr. Caroline and her husband Andrew step away from “perfect holiday” pressure and take a psychologically grounded look at why emotions run hotter during the holidays, for both kids and adults.

We explore how disrupted routines, sensory overload, social comparison, family dynamics, and unrealistic expectations tax the nervous system—and why emotional meltdowns, irritability, withdrawal, or disappointment are not signs of failure, but signals of dysregulation.

This episode bridges emotion regulation science with real-life parenting moments, including:

·       Why overstimulation is often behind kids’ holiday meltdowns

·       How social media comparison fuels anxiety and emotional exhaustion

·       The role of structure, predictability, and proactive planning in regulation

·       Why parents’ emotional regulation sets the ceiling for their children’s

·       How to identify non-negotiables, let go of the rest, and reduce emotional load

·       Practical strategies for creating “magical moments” without emotional burnout

Rather than trying to make emotions disappear, this conversation focuses on helping families anticipate emotional needs, regulate proactively, and respond with intention instead of reactivity.

Want to learn more about boosting resilience during the holidays? Check out these episodes:

Holiday Stress? Here's How to Build Real Resilience (https://youtu.be/jXgq7dn-hR4)

How can we nurture kids' emotional resilience during the holidays? (https://youtu.be/jXgq7dn-hR4)

Homework Ideas

Goal: Reduce dysregulation by identifying what’s actually taxing the nervous system.

Do: Write down the top 3 things that reliably spike stress for your child/teen (e.g., crowds, late nights, lots of visits, too many transitions) and the top 3 that spike stress for you.

Use it: Pick one lever to change this week (sleep, pacing, fewer events, quieter mornings, etc.).

Resource: A simple “HALT” check (Hungry, Angry/Anxious, Lonely, Tired) + add S for Sensory.

Goal: Lower conflict and decision fatigue; clarify boundaries ahead of time.

Do:

• Non-negotiables (examples): “We don’t do three houses in one day,” “We eat before we go,” “We leave by 7:30.”
• Flexibles: “Which movie?” “Which dessert?” “When we open gifts (within a window).”
• Share it with your child/teen (and any other adults involved) before the big day.

Resource: Brief script:

• “Here’s what matters most to me so everyone’s nervous system is okay…”
• “Here’s what you can choose so it still feels fun for you…”

Goal: Move from reactive parenting to proactive emotion regulation.

Do: Create a 3-part plan:

Before: sleep, food, hydration, quiet time, predict the tough moments

During: micro-breaks, movement, sensory supports, time limits

After: decompression time, low-demand evening, early bedtime when possible

Resource: “30/30 Rule” for high stimulation days: every ~30–60 minutes of stimulation, aim for a brief downshift (bathroom break, fresh air, water, quiet corner).

Goal: Reduce comparison + mindless scrolling (a major holiday stress amplifier).

Do: Choose a replacement behaviour you’ll do instead of scrolling when stressed:

• 5-minute walk
• short stretch
• tea + 3 slow breaths
• text one friend directly (real connection)

Resource: Set a phone boundary: “No social media before noon” or “10 minutes max, with a timer.”

Goal: Give kids a dignified way to signal overwhelm without melting down.

Do: Pick a code word (e.g., “yellow light,” “reset,” “quiet break”).

Define what happens when they use it:

• you step out together
• they go to a quiet spot
• headphones/hoodie break
• short car break if needed

Resource: Collaborative language:

• “Your job is to notice overwhelm early. My job is to help you reset.”

Goal: Prevent spirals by regulating yourself first.

Do: When you notice irritation rising:

1. Pause (one breath)
2. Name internally: “My nervous system is activated.”
3. Do one downshift: step away, splash cold water, 10 slow exhales, or a short walk.

Resource: A simple mantra: “I can be the calm, even when it’s loud.”

Goal: Reduce disappointment driven by vague, magical expectations.

Do: Ask:

• “What are you most excited about—specifically?”
• “What would make the day feel like a win?”
• Then set realistic anchors:
• one meaningful moment
• one active thing
• one connection point

Resource: “Lower the bar, deepen the moment.” (Connection > performance.)

Goal: Prevent overload (lights, noise, crowds, scratchy clothes, social demands).

Do: Pack a “regulation kit”:

• headphones/earbuds
• gum/mints
• fidget
• hoodie/comfort item
• sunglasses/hat
• snack + water

Resource: Let kids opt into brief “parallel play” (being near others without forced interaction).

Goal: Avoid adults getting pulled into old roles and conflicts.

Do: Before gatherings, decide:

• 2 things you’ll let go (minor irritations)
• 1 thing you’ll address if needed (a true boundary)
• Use a short phrase to hold it:
• “Not today.”
• “That’s not up for discussion.”
• “We’re keeping it simple this year.”

Resource: “Boundaries are kind when they’re clear.”

Goal: Teach emotional learning without shame; build resilience over time.

Do (at bedtime or next morning):

• 3 things that went okay
• 2 moments that were hard
• 1 tweak for next time

Resource: Keep it brief and neutral. The point is learning, not blame.

Bonus

The holidays represent a perfect storm for dysregulation:

·       Increased sensory input (noise, crowds, events)

·       Disrupted routines (sleep, meals, schedules)

·       Heightened expectations (“This should be special”)

·       Social comparison (especially via social media)

·       Relational triggers (family dynamics, unresolved patterns)

1. Emotions Escalate When Predictability Drops

When structure disappears, the nervous system has to work harder. For children especially, this can lead to:

·       irritability

·       emotional outbursts

·       shutdown or withdrawal

The solution isn’t stricter control—it’s intentional scaffolding:

·       spacing events

·       building in rest

·       protecting sleep and nutrition

·       pacing stimulation

2. Overstimulation Looks Like “Bad Behaviour”

Holiday meltdowns are often mislabeled as entitlement or attitude. In reality, they are frequently signs of:

·       sensory overload

·       emotional saturation

·       unmet regulation needs

This episode reframes behaviour as communication—consistent with an emotion-coaching lens.

3. Parents’ Regulation Is the Regulating Force

Children borrow regulation from adults.

When parents:

·       anticipate their own limits,

·       step away before exploding,

·       name and honor boundaries,

they are modeling exactly the skills we want children to internalize.

This is co-regulation in action.

4. Expectations Drive Emotional Pain

Disappointment often comes not from what happens, but from the gap between:

·       what we imagined, and

·       what actually unfolded.

This episode emphasizes helping both adults and children:

·       name expectations,

·       reality-check them,

·       and flexibly adjust rather than collapse into frustration.

5. Emotion Regulation Is Proactive, Not Reactive

Regulation works best before emotions peak so it’s important to use proactive strategies such as:

·       identifying non-negotiables in advance

·       planning recovery time

·       setting clear internal boundaries

·       collaborating with children ahead of time

Suggested Listener Reflection Questions

·       What parts of the holidays are most dysregulating for me?

·       Which expectations am I carrying that may not be realistic?

·       Where could less stimulation create more connection?

·       What would it look like to model emotional boundaries for my child?

·       How can I help my family “ride the wave” rather than fight it?



Enjoying the show? Help out by rating this podcast on Apple to help others get access to this information too! apple.co/3ysFijh

Follow Dr. Caroline

YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/@dr.carolinebuzanko

IG: https://www.instagram.com/dr.carolinebuzanko/

LinkedIn: https://ca.linkedin.com/in/dr-caroline-buzanko

Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/DrCarolineBuzanko/

Website: https://drcarolinebuzanko.com/

Resources: https://drcarolinebuzanko.com/resources/articles-child-resilience-well-being-psychology/

Business inquiries: https://korupsychology.ca/contact-us/

Want to learn more about helping kids strengthen their emotion regulation skills and problem-solving brains while boosting their confidence, independence, and resilience? Check out my many training opportunities! https://drcarolinebuzanko.com/upcoming-events/

Big feelings don’t always need more rules and structure. Sometimes they need play, movement, and a bit of silliness.

In this episode of Overpowering Emotions, Dr. Caroline is joined by Sifu Boggy (Paul Brighton), a Taoist teacher who blends Qigong, Tai Chi, humour, and “sacred child” energy to support healing.

They talk about why kids are the real teachers, how fidgeting and wild play help release stress from the body, and why shutting down movement can actually lock in tension, anxiety, and trauma. You’ll hear how Qigong supported Sifu through bullying, depression, and suicidality as a teen, and how simple standing exercises can help kids and adults regulate today.

This conversation is especially helpful for:

• Educators trying to make room for movement, play, and regulation in classrooms
• Parents & caregivers of anxious, “fidgety,” intense, or neurodivergent kids
• Mental health professionals looking for body-based and playful tools that fit well with emotion regulation work

They get into:

• The “sacred child” and why we’re not meant to grow out of play
• How fidgeting, noise, and big movement can be healthy discharge, not misbehaviour
• Qigong as “moving self-massage” that helps clear stored emotional tension
• How adults’ stress responses teach kids how to handle their own
• Simple, practical ways to bring more play and movement into homes, sessions, and schools

If you work with kids who are anxious, shut down, “too much,” or always on the move, this episode will give you a warm, playful way to see them—and yourself—differently.

Homework Ideas

🧩 Notice Where You Shut Down Play

For one week, track moments when you say or think:

• “Stop fidgeting.”
• “Calm down.”
• “Be serious.”

Ask yourself afterward:

• What feeling in me sparked that reaction?
• Was the movement actually harmful—or just loud and inconvenient?

Use that awareness to adjust one response per day: replace “stop that” with, “Let’s move that energy in a safer way,” and offer a playful alternative (e.g., jumping on a mat, shaking it out, quick wrestle on the floor, running in the yard).

🧩 Schedule a Daily “Wild Play Window”

Choose a 10–20 minute slot each day where the goal is: move, be loud, be silly.

Ideas:

• Backyard “animal run” (kids choose an animal and move like it)
• Pillow wrestling or couch parkour
• Loud singing, drumming on cushions, “primal yell” into a pillow

Frame it as: “This is when we help our bodies get stress out.”

🧩 Try the “Twist the Waist” Qigong Practice

Use Sifu’s simple exercise with kids or for yourself:

• Stand with feet hip-width apart.
• Gently twist your waist side to side, letting your arms flop and wrap around your body.
• Keep breathing naturally—soft in through the nose, out through the mouth.
• Do this for 1–3 minutes.

Afterward, ask kids:

• “What does your body feel like now compared to before?”

This can be a classroom brain break, a transition ritual at home, or part of therapy sessions.

🧩 Model Your Own “Sacred Child”

Choose one playful thing you used to love as a kid and do it this week:

• Drawing or doodling
• Climbing, swinging, skipping
• Building with Lego
• Dancing around the kitchen

Let kids see you laugh, be silly, and move. You’re showing them that growing up doesn’t mean shutting down joy.

🧩 Reflect on Movement and Mood

With older kids or for your own journaling, use prompts like:

• “When I’m stressed and I move my body, what changes?”
• “When I’m told to sit still, what happens inside me?”
• “What kinds of movement make me feel calmer, stronger, or lighter?”

This helps link movement → emotion → regulation in a concrete way.

Be sure to grab your free Emotional Literacy workbook! https://korulearninginstitute.kit.com/emotionaliteracy

About Sifu

Sifu Boggie (a.k.a Paul Brighton) is a Daoist guide, mentor, and self-healing practitioner with over 40 years of experience in Daoism and Qigong. Trained by renowned Daoist masters, he specializes in Qi Gong, Tai Chi, Shun Dao philosophy, and other healing modalities. Sifu Boggie’s teachings blend Daoist philosophy with practical energy work and bodywork techniques, offering transformative pathways for physical, emotional, and energetic healing.

LinkedIn - https://www.linkedin.com/in/sifuboggie  

Facebook - https://www.facebook.com/2sifuboggie

Instagram - https://www.instagram.com/sifu.boggie/#

YouTube - https://www.youtube.com/@SifuBoggie

Website - https://shundao.uscreen.io/

Enjoying the show? Help out by rating this podcast on Apple to help others get access to this information too! apple.co/3ysFijh

Follow Dr. Caroline

YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/@dr.carolinebuzanko

IG: https://www.instagram.com/dr.carolinebuzanko/

LinkedIn: https://ca.linkedin.com/in/dr-caroline-buzanko

Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/DrCarolineBuzanko/

Website: https://drcarolinebuzanko.com/

Resources: https://drcarolinebuzanko.com/resources/articles-child-resilience-well-being-psychology/

Business inquiries: https://korupsychology.ca/contact-us/

Want to learn more about helping kids strengthen their emotion regulation skills and problem-solving brains while boosting their confidence, independence, and resilience? Check out my many training opportunities! https://drcarolinebuzanko.com/upcoming-events/

Big feelings are not the problem. The real issue is when kids don’t know what those feelings are for or what to do with them.

In this episode of Overpowering Emotions, Dr. Caroline walks through how to help children and teens move from “I feel awful” to “Here’s what I need and here’s what I’m going to do.”

You’ll hear how to:

• Teach kids to read their body signals and name emotions with more precision
• Link emotions to underlying needs, values, and goals
• Use primary and secondary appraisal (Is this dangerous? Can I handle it?) to guide coping
• Spot when strategies are actually avoidance in disguise
• Build “if–then” plans so kids know exactly what to do when big feelings hit
• Practice emotion-focused vs. problem-focused coping without rescuing or over-accommodating

Perfect for educators, parents, and mental health professionals who want practical ways to match responses to kids’ emotions and needs, build resilience, and stop reinforcing avoidance.

Homework Ideas

Daily Emotion–Need Check-In

Goal: Link feelings → needs → possible actions.

How: Once a day (morning meeting, bedtime, or session check-in), ask:

o  “What are you feeling?”

o  “Where do you feel it in your body?”

o  “What might this feeling be telling you that you need or want?”

o  “What’s one small thing that might help?”

Use an emotion wheel or your Emotional Literacy Workbook as a word bank.

Helpful resource: Get the free Emotional Literacy Workbook PDF (https://korulearninginstitute.kit.com/emotionaliteracy)

Primary vs. Secondary Appraisal Practice

Goal: Help kids sort “this feels huge” from “this is truly dangerous” and “can I handle it?”

How: With a recent stressor (test, friend issue, gym class):

Ask Primary appraisal questions:

o  “What makes this feel scary, hard, or unfair?”

o  “Is something actually unsafe, or does it mostly feel big?”

Ask Secondary appraisal questions:

o  “Have you been in something like this before?”

o  “What helped even a tiny bit?”

o  “Who or what could support you this time?”

Write answers together on a simple worksheet so they can see the pattern.

Build an If–Then Coping Plan

Goal: Turn vague coping into concrete, rehearsed responses.

How: Pick one recurring trigger and script it:  “If I start to panic before a math quiz, then I will:

1.     Put both feet on the floor

2.     Notice where the feeling is in my body

3.     Answer the easiest question first.”

Practice this when calm, then in low-stakes situations, then in the real one.

Body Mapping & Riding the Wave

Goal: Increase interoceptive awareness and distress tolerance.

How: Print a body outline. Ask the child to draw where they feel worry / anger / shame. Add words: “tight,” “hot,” “heavy,” “buzzy,” “pressure,” etc.

During a mild spike, coach:

o  “Notice: stronger on the left or right?”

o  “Let’s watch what happens for 60–90 seconds.”

Track: Did it grow, stay the same, or drop?

This normalizes “waves” and shows the nervous system can rise and fall without escape.

Role-Play Triggers Safely

Goal: Let kids rehearse new responses without public shame.

How: Ask: “What does your sibling/classmate do that really sets you off?”

Recreate a version with you (e.g., you hum “Baby Shark” while they do homework).

Guide them to:

o  Notice body cues

o  Label the feeling

o  Use their plan: drop into the body, self-coaching, opposite action, etc.

Repeat until they can access the new response faster.

“Even If…” Values Statements

Goal: Tie coping to what matters most, not just symptom reduction.

How: Help kids finish:

·       “Even if I feel anxious, I’m still going to ____ because ____ matters to me.”

·       “Even if I feel left out, I’m still going to ____ because ____ is important to me.”

Post their top 2–3 on a card, locker, or notebook.

Revisit after exposures: “Did acting on your value help, even with the feeling there?”

Enjoying the show? Help out by rating this podcast on Apple to help others get access to this information too! apple.co/3ysFijh

Follow Dr. Caroline

YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/@dr.carolinebuzanko

IG: https://www.instagram.com/dr.carolinebuzanko/

LinkedIn: https://ca.linkedin.com/in/dr-caroline-buzanko

Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/DrCarolineBuzanko/

Website: https://drcarolinebuzanko.com/

Resources: https://drcarolinebuzanko.com/resources/articles-child-resilience-well-being-psychology/

Business inquiries: https://korupsychology.ca/contact-us/

Want to learn more about helping kids strengthen their emotion regulation skills and problem-solving brains while boosting their confidence, independence, and resilience? Check out my many training opportunities! https://drcarolinebuzanko.com/upcoming-events/

Kids say “I feel bad” all the time. But what does that actually mean for their brain and their behaviour?

In this episode of Overpowering Emotions, Dr. Caroline breaks down how the brain builds emotions and why teaching kids to move from “I feel bad” to “I feel overwhelmed / uncertain / left out” is a game-changer for emotional regulation.

Drawing on brain science and day-to-day stories from classrooms and families, she explains:

·       How the brain compresses huge amounts of sensory data into simple emotional categories

·       Why kids (and adults) often feel “angry” or “anxious” without knowing why

·       What “emotion granularity” is and how it gives kids more control over their reactions

·       The link between the body budget (sleep, hydration, exhaustion) and emotional meltdowns

·       Practical ways to help children notice body sensations and match them with accurate emotion words

You’ll hear simple tools you can use right away to build emotional literacy in homes, classrooms, and therapy sessions.

Perfect for anyone who want science-based, relatable ways to help kids and teens understand what they’re feeling and what to do about it.

Free Resource (to help with homework below!): Emotional Literacy Workbook (https://korulearninginstitute.kit.com/emotionaliteracy)

Homework Ideas

Daily Emotion Check-Ins (Kids & Teens)

• Build short, regular emotion check-ins into the day—morning, midday, and evening at home; or every class / every hour at school.
• Ask: “How are you feeling right now?” then guide kids to move beyond “good/bad/mad” to a more specific word.
• “Where do you feel it in your body?”

Build Emotion Vocabulary & Granularity

• Use the feelings wheel or emotion charts during the day when kids are calm, not only when they’re upset.
• Play quick “name the feeling” games:
• “Pick one word from the wheel that matches how you felt at recess.”
• “Choose a word for how you feel before this test.”

Body Mapping & Interoception Practice

• Draw a simple outline of a body. Ask:
• “Where do you feel this emotion?”
• “What does it feel like there? Tight, heavy, buzzy, hot, cold?”
• Help kids link body cues to emotions and needs:
• “Heavy chest = overwhelmed?”
• “Jittery legs = excited or nervous?”

Dr. Caroline’s personal example from the episode:

o  A “crushing feeling” in her chest often signals overwhelm and too much on her plate.

o  A “breaking” feeling in her chest usually means exhaustion after very little sleep.

o  She then uses those cues to decide: “Do I need to reprioritize my day, or do I need to rest?”

Body Budget Check

Before jumping to “big emotion” explanations, check:

• Sleep: “How much did you sleep last night?”
• Hydration: “Have you had water today?”
• Food: “When was the last time you ate?”
• Load: “Is your day too full?”

If a child says “I feel scared,” also scan for: Are they dehydrated? Exhausted? Hungry?

Respond differently if the body budget is off (water, snack, rest, schedule changes) before jumping into problem-solving the situation.

Adult Self-Practice: Modelling Emotion Granularity

Replace “I’m just so stressed” with more precise language:

• “I feel overwhelmed because I have too much on my plate.”
• “I feel exhausted from not sleeping enough.”

Say it out loud in front of kids so they see the full process: sensation → emotion word → action plan.

·       

Turn Feelings into Action Plans

Once kids have named the emotion more clearly, ask about what they need. If they're unsure, help them brainstorm ideas:

• “If you feel left out, what might help? Inviting someone to play, talking to a teacher, or taking a break?”
• “If you feel overwhelmed, what do you need? Should we break this task into smaller steps?”

Goal:

o  Move from broad “bad” to specific emotion + specific next step.

o  Repeat often enough that the brain learns this sequence as a habit.

Enjoying the show? Help out by rating this podcast on Apple to help others get access to this information too! apple.co/3ysFijh

Follow Dr. Caroline

YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/@dr.carolinebuzanko

IG: https://www.instagram.com/dr.carolinebuzanko/

LinkedIn: https://ca.linkedin.com/in/dr-caroline-buzanko

Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/DrCarolineBuzanko/

Website: https://drcarolinebuzanko.com/

Resources: https://drcarolinebuzanko.com/resources/articles-child-resilience-well-being-psychology/

Business inquiries: https://korupsychology.ca/contact-us/

Want to learn more about helping kids strengthen their emotion regulation skills and problem-solving brains while boosting their confidence, independence, and resilience? Check out my many training opportunities! https://drcarolinebuzanko.com/upcoming-events/

This week, Dr. Caroline unpacks one of the most misunderstood parts of emotion regulation: Why avoidance keeps anxiety alive and how real-world experience rewires the emotional brain.

She explains how children’s brains constantly make predictions about safety, danger, and comfort and how avoidance traps them in cycles of fear. Using clear metaphors like the feeling tunnel and the prediction error, Dr. Caroline shows how growth only happens when kids face uncomfortable emotions long enough for their brains to learn something new.

This episode is a must-listen for anyone who want to help kids build resilience, emotional flexibility, and distress tolerance through practice, not protection.

🎧 Experience teaches the brain it can handle more than it fears.

Homework Ideas

Map the Avoidance Loop

Have kids write down situations they avoid (tests, sleepovers, speaking in class). Note what relief they feel after avoiding and how that pattern repeats. Awareness is step one.

Prediction Journal

Before a challenging event, ask: “What do you think will happen?”

Afterward: “What actually happened?”

Compare their predictions with outcomes to build realistic expectations.

Build Micro-Exposure Moments

Start small — ordering food, saying hi to a neighbour, or raising a hand in class. Celebrate effort, not comfort.

Self-Check for Adults

Notice when you rescue too quickly. Ask yourself: “Am I helping them build resilience or just helping myself feel less anxious?”

Enjoying the show? Help out by rating this podcast on Apple to help others get access to this information too! apple.co/3ysFijh

Follow Dr. Caroline

YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/@dr.carolinebuzanko

IG: https://www.instagram.com/dr.carolinebuzanko/

LinkedIn: https://ca.linkedin.com/in/dr-caroline-buzanko

Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/DrCarolineBuzanko/

Website: https://drcarolinebuzanko.com/

Resources: https://drcarolinebuzanko.com/resources/articles-child-resilience-well-being-psychology/

Business inquiries: https://korupsychology.ca/contact-us/

Want to learn more about helping kids strengthen their emotion regulation skills and problem-solving brains while boosting their confidence, independence, and resilience? Check out my many training opportunities! https://drcarolinebuzanko.com/upcoming-events/

How do kids learn to think about their emotions instead of being swept away by them? In this episode, Dr. Caroline breaks down strategic emotion management, helping children and teens build emotional metacognition, the ability to reflect on and make sense of what they feel.

You’ll learn how to guide kids to pause, question, and evaluate their emotions: What is this feeling trying to tell me? Is it helping or hurting me right now?

Dr. Caroline shares practical strategies for teaching emotional literacy, building resilience, and creating space for reflection instead of reaction. She also offers real-life examples, from angry teens to overwhelmed kids, showing how adults can coach emotional awareness at any age. This episode includes simple tools, reflective questions, and step-by-step ways to strengthen emotional awareness and decision-making skills.

Key topics: emotional literacy, metacognition, cognitive reappraisal, resilience, co-regulation, reflective parenting, and emotional intelligence in youth.

Homework Ideas

Practice Helpful Responses

• The next time you or a child feel a strong emotion, pause and ask:
• What is this emotion trying to tell me?
• Is this emotion helpful right now?
• What can I do that aligns with my goals and values?
• Model this reflective thinking out loud with the child.
• Focus on curiosity over correction — “Huh, I wonder what my anger’s protecting right now.”
• Co-Regulation Practice!
• When kids are upset, start with validation only.
• Say “It sounds like you had a tough day.” Then pause.
• Once they’re calm, guide reflection with open-ended questions.

Emotion Journal or Chart

Write or draw feelings, what happened, what they thought, and what the emotion might be saying.

For younger kids: use colours or pictures.

For teens: include reflection prompts like “Was my reaction helpful?”

Emotion Decoder

Match emotions to their possible messages (e.g., anger → unfairness; sadness → loss or care).

Available in Dr. Caroline’s Emotional Literacy Book

Scaling Exercise

Rate emotions from 1–10 and discuss how the intensity changes when the situation is reappraised to build  perspective and reduce emotional overwhelm.

Resources Mentioned:

• The Emotional Literacy Book (https://korulearninginstitute.kit.com/emotionaliteracy)
• Coddling of the American Mind by Jonathan Haidt (for adults exploring emotional reasoning)

Enjoying the show? Help out by rating this podcast on Apple to help others get access to this information too! apple.co/3ysFijh

Follow Dr. Caroline

YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/@dr.carolinebuzanko

IG: https://www.instagram.com/dr.carolinebuzanko/

LinkedIn: https://ca.linkedin.com/in/dr-caroline-buzanko

Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/DrCarolineBuzanko/

Website: https://drcarolinebuzanko.com/

Resources: https://drcarolinebuzanko.com/resources/articles-child-resilience-well-being-psychology/

Business inquiries: https://korupsychology.ca/contact-us/

Want to learn more about helping kids strengthen their emotion regulation skills and problem-solving brains while boosting their confidence, independence, and resilience? Check out my many training opportunities! https://drcarolinebuzanko.com/upcoming-events/

What does mental wellness really mean, and how do we teach it to kids and teens when the adults around them are stretched thin?

In this episode, Dr. Caroline sits down with licensed clinical social worker MJ Murray Vachon, who brings nearly 40 years of experience working with adolescents, families, and midlife adults.

MJ shares the two mental wellness definitions that guide her work, how Dr. Dan Siegel’s “river of calm” helps us understand chaos and rigidity, and why adults’ emotions are contagious for kids.

You’ll hear stories from classrooms, families, and even Notre Dame athletes that highlight the everyday ways mental health is shaped by modeling, connection, and self-regulation.

Listeners will walk away with practical tools like the FACES model, NESTS for self-care, and playful strategies that keep mental wellness accessible for kids and adults alike. This conversation is a reminder that children can’t be healthier than the adults raising or teaching them—and small steps in our own wellness ripple out to every child we support.

Homework Ideas

Check your own state first

• Each day, pause and ask: Am I calm, chaotic, or rigid?
• Use a grounding practice (deep breaths, stretch, short walk) before engaging with kids.

Create a “Glimmer List”

• Write 5 small, free things that bring you joy (music, a walk, a funny show).
• Do one daily and encourage your child to make their own list.

Practice NESTS Self-Care

• Nutrition: regular balanced meals.
• Exercise: daily movement.
• Sleep: aim for consistent bedtimes.
• Technology: set limits that support rest and focus.
• Stress skills: model a simple coping strategy (breathwork, journaling, quiet time).

Model Validation + Boundaries

• Acknowledge feelings: “I hear you. This is hard.”
• Don’t over-explain—hold space, then guide with calm presence.

About MJ

With more than 50,000 hours of clinical sessions, I’ve spent nearly four decades helping people navigate anxiety, stress, and life transitions with practical, science-backed skills. I’m the creator of Inner Challenge, a mental wellness program launched in 1993 and taught for 21 years in junior highs and even with Notre Dame Football, equipping teens and athletes with coping strategies to boost resilience. As host of Creating Midlife Calm, chosen by Maria Shriver as her “Listen of the Week,” I weave stories and evidence-based tools into actionable practices listeners can use right away. My work always comes back to this: real-life coping skills that are simple, doable, and effective.

I started the podcast Creating Midlife Calm because I know the parents of teens are the key to helping them develop the mental wellness that will carry them through adolescence and into adulthood.

Get in touch

Instagram: @vachonmjmurray

Facebook: MJ Murray Vachon LCSW

Website: mjmurrayvachon.com

Enjoying the show? Help out by rating this podcast on Apple to help others get access to this information too! apple.co/3ysFijh

Follow Dr. Caroline

YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/@dr.carolinebuzanko

IG: https://www.instagram.com/dr.carolinebuzanko/

LinkedIn: https://ca.linkedin.com/in/dr-caroline-buzanko

Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/DrCarolineBuzanko/

Website: https://drcarolinebuzanko.com/

Resources: https://drcarolinebuzanko.com/resources/articles-child-resilience-well-being-psychology/

Business inquiries: https://korupsychology.ca/contact-us/

Want to learn more about helping kids strengthen their emotion regulation skills and problem-solving brains while boosting their confidence, independence, and resilience? Check out my many training opportunities! https://drcarolinebuzanko.com/upcoming-events/