Parenting Post-Wilderness: Parenting a Struggling Teen Before, During and After Treatment

When your teen or young adult is struggling, it’s easy for everything else to fall away, including you. It’s a pattern we both see often: parents abandoning their own needs in the name of care, staying on high alert for the next crisis, and losing themselves in the process.

I remember the desperation I felt when my son was struggling. I poured every ounce of my energy into trying to get him to choose something different. I ignored my emotional, mental, and physical needs, because I couldn’t think of anything else but him. That kind of self-sacrifice can feel noble, even necessary, but the truth is, it’s not sustainable or helpful for either of you.

This episode is a gentle invitation to notice when you’re caught in this cycle. There’s a big difference between responding to a true crisis and putting your entire life on hold just in case one might happen. 

You’re allowed to take care of yourself. 
You’re allowed to have a life. 
And giving yourself that permission isn’t selfish. It’s healing.

In this episode on how to not lose yourself when you’re teen is in crisis, we cover:

• Why parents often abandon themselves in their teen’s crisis
• The difference between being present and being on constant alert
• Red flags that you may be stuck in hyper-vigilance
• The guilt that comes with reclaiming your own life—and how to release it
• How caring for yourself can actually help your child more

Looking for support?
🗺️Need help setting healthy boundaries with your teen AND following through? My free guide will help you do so by creating your own Parent Home Plan!

🤍Influence lasting change in yourself and your struggling teen with my private coaching or parent group program specifically created for parents of struggling teens.

Have a question? You can email me at [email protected]

You can support the show by:
Leaving a review
Subscribing to the show

And remember parents, the change begins with us.

When you're doing the work to grow as a parent, it's common to overcorrect. You recognize a pattern (maybe you tend to be explosive in conflict) so you swing to the opposite end and become overly passive. It feels like progress, but suddenly you're stuck in a new extreme. In this episode, Seth and I explore what we call the "pendulum swing" of behavior and how both parents and teens experience this while trying to make real, lasting change.

Whether it’s yelling one day and withdrawing the next, or setting no boundaries after years of being too rigid, shifting your parenting patterns can feel messy and inconsistent at first. But this swing between extremes isn’t failure, it’s part of the learning curve. Your brain is trying to find the middle ground, and sometimes it needs to experience both ends of the spectrum to settle into balance.

And our struggling children go through this, too. After treatment, they often come home with the intention of doing everything perfectly, only to crash when the reality of being human sets in. Helping them, and yourself, navigate that swing with compassion is key.

If you’re working to shift your parenting patterns and feel stuck between extremes, join us in this conversation as we help you find your footing in the middle.

In this episode on finding balance while shifting parenting patterns, we cover:

• What the “pendulum swing” looks like in parenting and teen behavior;
• Why we often shift from one extreme to the other when trying to change;
• The emotional discomfort that fuels reactive patterns;
• How to find a middle ground that supports growth and connection in parenting;
• Why unrealistic expectations (for you or your teen) can lead to disappointment;
• And more!

Looking for support?
🗺️Need help setting healthy boundaries with your teen AND following through? My free guide will help you do so by creating your own Parent Home Plan!

🤍Influence lasting change in yourself and your struggling teen with my private coaching or parent group program specifically created for parents of struggling teens.

Have a question or need support? You can email me at [email protected]

You can support the show by:
Leaving a review
Subscribing to the show

And remember parents, the change begins with us.

We all have an inner dialogue. But it's too easy to take the stories we tell ourselves, about our kids, our parenting, and what’s going to happen next, to start feeling like facts. In this episode, Seth and I explore how our narratives can quietly shape our reactions, expectations, and ultimately our relationships with our teens and young adults.

“We have to remember that almost everything we think is a narrative. … All narratives can change” - Beth Hillman

When a child returns home from treatment, it’s common for parents to fall into old mental scripts: I’ll have to clean for them. They won’t wake up on their own. If I don’t do X, they’ll never Y. These stories often stem from real past experiences, so it’s no wonder they feel true. But that doesn’t mean they are. Let's talk about how to recognize these narratives, examine whether they’re still serving your family, and explore how to shift them.

If you're feeling stuck in patterns or assumptions about your teen or young adult, this episode offers a compassionate and practical way to loosen their grip and make room for something new.

In this episode on challenging our inner dialogue as parents, we cover:

• The difference between narrative and fact, and how to tell them apart;
• Why parents often get stuck in old stories, even when growth is happening;
• The unconscious beliefs you may be carrying about what a good parent "should" do;
• What narratives your struggling child may be believing about themselves;
• A practical exercise for surfacing your limiting beliefs as a parent;
• The key question to regularly ask yourself;
• And more.

Looking for support?
🗺️Need help setting healthy boundaries with your teen AND following through? My free guide will help you do so by creating your own Parent Home Plan!

🤍Influence lasting change in yourself and your struggling teen with my private coaching or parent group program specifically created for parents of struggling teens.

Have a question or need support? You can email me at [email protected]

You can support the show by:
Leaving a review
Subscribing to the show

And remember parents, the change begins with us.

If your teen or young adult constantly underestimates how long things take or insists they “have plenty of time” when they don’t, welcome to the club! This common struggle is called time dysmorphia, and it’s more than just procrastination or laziness. It actually has to do with executive functioning.

In this episode, executive function coach Chrissy Nichols joins me to explain what time dysmorphia is, why it happens, and how parents can help their kids manage it without frustration or shame.

Many parents misinterpret time dysmorphia as defiance or irresponsibility. But whether your teen has ADHD or not, their brain may simply process time differently. Instead of getting impatient or triggered, Chrissy shares a three-step process parents can use to increase awareness, remove shame, and partner with their teen in creating practical solutions.

“That’s the ultimate goal … not to get folks feeling dependent on an external source, but knowing that they have everything they need inside.” - Chrissy Nichols

If your teen or young adult struggles to estimate time or follow through on tasks, this conversation will help you shift from frustration to understanding and support.

In this episode on helping your (ADHD) teen or young adult manage time & build executive function skills, we cover:

• What time dysmorphia is and why it impacts teens and young adults but also ourselves as parents;
• Why this is an executive functioning issue, not laziness or disrespect;
• How to respond with curiosity instead of frustration;
• A three-step framework for helping your teen manage their time;
• How to support your teen or young adult in building accountability and self-awareness without shame;
• And more!

More about Chrissy Nichols
Chrissy Nichols is an executive function coach for learners of all ages but specializes in helping teens reintegrate into traditional learning environments. After more than 22 years in the classroom, Chrissy's brain hacks help clients see that there is absolutely nothing wrong with them--they just need to learn how to rewire their brain.
Chrissy's work is aimed to empower her student clients to empower themselves. For parents, this means taking school and academics off their parenting plates so they can simply love their child.
See how Chrissy’s thought concepts can become your executive function concepts over at www.thechrissyconcept.com

Looking for support?
🗺️Need help setting healthy boundaries with your teen AND following through? My free guide will help you do so by creating your own Parent Home Plan!

🤍Influence lasting change in yourself and your struggling teen with my private coaching or parent group program specifically created for parents of struggling teens.

Have a question or need support? You can email me at [email protected]

You can support the show by:
Leaving a review
Subscribing to the show

And remember parents, the change begins with us.

Do you ever find yourself stuck in a conversation that’s going in circles, desperately trying to find a resolution? It’s natural to want closure, but sometimes, the healthiest thing you can do is step back. In this episode, Seth and I explore how disengaging can actually strengthen healthy communication with your teen rather than shutting it down.

When emotions run high, it can be difficult to recognize when a conversation is no longer productive. As parents, we often enter discussions with our teens with an agenda, wanting to fix a behavior or push for change. But if your teen isn’t on the same page, the conversation can quickly become frustrating for both of you. Instead of seeking to be heard, what if we focused on understanding and connection instead?

“If I don’t want to listen to the person, the conversation is not going to go well.” - Seth Gottlieb

In this episode, we discuss how healthy communication with your teen isn’t about pushing harder but about knowing when to pause, reset, and approach conversations with more awareness and intention.

If you’ve ever felt stuck in an argument or frustrated by going in circles, this episode will give you the tools to step back, create space, and improve communication with your teen in a meaningful way.

In this episode on the power of disengaging for healthy communication with your teen, we cover:

• How to recognize when a conversation with your teen isn’t going anywhere;
• The impact of entering a discussion with an agenda;
• How to increase self-awareness and shift to understanding rather than control;
• Practical ways to disengage in a way that strengthens, rather than harms, your relationship or family dynamics;
• What to ask your teen to foster healthy communication and more open, productive conversations;
• And more!

Looking for support?
🗺️Need help setting healthy boundaries with your teen AND following through? My free guide will help you do so by creating your own Parent Home Plan!

🤍Influence lasting change in yourself and your struggling teen with my private coaching or parent group program specifically created for parents of struggling teens.

Have a question or need support? You can email me at [email protected]

You can support the show by:
Leaving a review
Subscribing to the show

And remember parents, the change begins with us.

It’s devastating to watch your teen struggle and feel like nothing you do is making a difference. You love them more than anything, yet your support, advice, and care don’t seem to make a difference. If you’ve ever thought, Why isn’t my love enough to help my struggling teen?, you’re not alone.

In this episode, Seth and I unpack why struggling teens may reject the love and support they need and what parents can do with this knowledge.

Many parents take their child’s maladaptive behaviors personally, wondering what they did wrong or why their love isn’t enough to bring their child back to stability.

“Until somebody feels that they are worthy of what you are trying to provide, they’re not going to accept it.” - Seth Gottlieb

Seth shares his own experience of feeling so unworthy of love that he couldn’t truly accept the support of those around him. Until a struggling teen believes they are worthy of love, it’s difficult for them to let it in, no matter how much they may need it.

If you feel helpless in your child’s struggle, join us for today’s episode.

In this episode on feeling like your love isn’t enough for your struggling teen to choose better, we explore:

• Why it can feel like your love isn’t enough to help your struggling teen;
• How a teen’s self-worth affects their ability to accept love and support;
• Why struggling teens often push away relationships, even when they need them;
• The power of witnessing and letting your child know you’re there for them;
• What to do when your teen isn’t ready for help;
• And more.

Looking for support?
🗺️Need help setting healthy boundaries with your teen AND following through? My free guide will help you do so by creating your own Parent Home Plan!

🤍Influence lasting change in yourself and your struggling teen with my private coaching or parent group program specifically created for parents of struggling teens.

Have a question or need support? You can email me at [email protected]

You can support the show by:
Leaving a review
Subscribing to the show

And remember parents, the change begins with us.

Home visits after treatment can be both exciting and nerve-wracking for everyone involved. It’s a time filled with hope, but with that hope often comes fear: fear of falling back into old patterns, fear of things going wrong, and fear of not knowing what to expect. In this episode, Seth and I unpack what makes home visits so important, why they can feel overwhelming, and how to navigate them with intention.

Every family member brings their own expectations to a home visit. As a parent, you may see it as a chance to talk through everything in one weekend or simply want to create a relaxing, welcoming environment for your teen. Your teen, on the other hand, may be watching closely to see if you have also been doing the work, if old dynamics are still at play or if there’s been a real shift. When expectations go unspoken, frustration can build, making it harder to connect in meaningful ways.

So how do you balance structure, connection, and open communication during a home visit? We discuss the importance of setting realistic expectations, allowing for autonomy, and creating space for both fun and difficult conversations. Because ultimately, home visits are an opportunity to start building new, healthier patterns as a family.

If you’re preparing for a home visit or wondering what to expect, this conversation will help you feel more confident and prepared to navigate this important step in your teen’s journey.

In this episode on home visits, we cover:

• The role of home visits in the treatment and healing process;
• What your teen is looking for when they come home from treatment for a visit;
• How unspoken expectations can create tension & how to talk about them;
• Balancing structure, autonomy, and connection during the home visit;
• What to do if you feel hesitant about a home visit as a parent;
• Why a challenging visit doesn’t mean failure & and how to move forward.

Looking for support?
🗺️Need help setting healthy boundaries with your teen AND following through? My free guide will help you do so by creating your own Parent Home Plan!

🤍Influence lasting change in yourself and your struggling teen with my private coaching or parent group program specifically created for parents of struggling teens.

Have a question or need support? You can email me at [email protected]

You can support the show by:
Leaving a review
Subscribing to the show

And remember parents, the change begins with us.

When a child struggles, the entire family feels it. But the sibling’s experience is often overlooked. Today, we get to hear the sibling’s perspective as Ethan Gordon, a mentor for struggling kids, teens, and young adults, joins me to share his unique perspective as both a sibling and a social worker. Drawing from his personal loss of a brother to drug addiction, Ethan offers insights into his unique experiences as a sibling of a struggling teen.

Navigating how much to share with siblings when a family is in crisis can be incredibly challenging. Some parents may overshare, while others try to protect their children by withholding all information. It’s a hard place to be in as a parent. Ethan reminds us that everyone processes family struggles differently and there’s no one-size-fits-all approach.

Now, in his work as a mentor, Ethan focuses on guiding teens to build connection and community, a vital piece that often disappears after treatment. He shares his approach to creating systems that give your teen happiness, social connection, and a piece of community during their day that they can fall back on when things get tough. 

His approach is simple: meet teens where they are and guide them toward connection and growth. 

Join us in this conversation as Ethan offers actionable insights for navigating life after treatment and offering your teen sustainable support.

In this episode, on the sibling’s perspective, we cover:

• The unique path and experience of siblings during family crises;
• The different roles the sibling can take on in the family dynamics, for example as a peacemaker or by withdrawing;
• How much to share with your sibling about what’s going on with your struggling teen?;
• The importance of building connection and community when transitioning home from wilderness or other treatment programs;
• And more!

Looking for support?
🗺️Need help setting healthy boundaries with your teen AND following through? My free guide will help you do so by creating your own Parent Home Plan!

🤍Influence lasting change in yourself and your struggling teen with my private coaching or parent group program specifically created for parents of struggling teens.

Have a question or need support? You can email me at [email protected]

More about Ethan Gordon
Ethan is the founder of Bold Ascents, a mentorship organization dedicated to supporting youth across the country, aged 10-24, in their transition home from treatment programs. With a decade of experience in the mental health field, Ethan has worked with a wide variety of populations, including survivors of sexual assault, individuals experiencing homelessness, and adolescents struggling with mental health challenges.
Having been a sibling to a young person who went through wilderness therapy and losing his brother at a young age to addiction, he has a personal connection to his work.
At Bold Ascents, Ethan helps adolescents and young adults recognize their resilience, navigate the challenges of daily life, and build a foundation for success. Through his client-centered approach, Ethan fosters a deep sense of connection and validation, empowering youth to embrace their unique paths forward.

You can support the show by:
Leaving a review
Subscribing to the show

And remember parents, the change begins with us.

Healthy communication is the foundation of strong relationships. But when emotions run high, it’s easy to fall into unhelpful patterns. In this episode, trauma therapist Sarah Allen joins me to explore how communication styles shape family dynamics and what it takes to shift toward healthier, more assertive communication with your struggling teen.

If you’ve ever felt stuck between being too passive or too controlling in conversations with your teen, you’re not alone. Many parents default to passive communication, avoiding conflict and hoping their teen picks up on their needs. Others swing toward aggressive communication, trying to maintain control and authority. But neither approach helps you build the trust and connection we want with your teen.

What we should strive for? Assertive communication, which allows you to set clear, healthy boundaries, express your needs, and create a structure that helps your teen feel safe, without resorting to power struggles. 

In this conversation, Sarah and I break down what healthy communication looks like, how your communication style impacts your parenting, and how small shifts can make a big difference in your relationship with your teen.

In this episode on healthy communication with your teen and family, we discuss:

• What makes communication healthy or unhealthy;
• The difference between passive, aggressive, and assertive communication;
• How your communication style influences your parenting approach;
• Why structure helps teens feel safer, even when they resist it;
• Practical strategies to shift toward more balanced, effective communication with your teen and family;
• And more!

Looking for support?
🗺️Need help setting healthy boundaries with your teen AND following through? My free guide will help you do so by creating your own Parent Home Plan!

🤍Influence lasting change in yourself and your struggling teen with my private coaching or parent group program specifically created for parents of struggling teens.

Have a question or need support? You can email me at [email protected]

You can support the show by:
Leaving a review
Subscribing to the show

And remember parents, the change begins with us.

When life feels like too much, it’s easy to get caught in the spiral of overwhelm. And let’s face it, whether it’s your teen or yourself as a parent, overwhelm is something we all face from time to time. In this episode, we dive into how to support your teen through these challenging moments while also learning to manage your own as a parent.

Overwhelm can show up in many ways, emotional shutdowns, conflict, exhaustion, or frustration, all stemming from the pressure of unmet expectations. Whether it’s you as a parent or it’s your teen who’s feeling overwhelmed, the same strategies can help: setting clear boundaries, validating emotions, and releasing the pressure to meet everyone’s expectations.

Overwhelm doesn’t have to define your family dynamics. In this episode, Seth and I share our personal experiences with managing overwhelm and expectations and how these moments impact our relationships. We also explore the strategies that can help both you and your teen find balance and connection when overwhelm starts to creep in.

In this episode on parenting an overwhelmed teen, we discuss:

• What overwhelm can look like in your teen’s behavior;
• How to help your teen navigate the pressure of expectations;
• The role of emotional congruence in strengthening your connection;
• Why validation is key to supporting an overwhelmed teen;
• The importance of setting boundaries before overwhelm takes over;
• How vulnerability can foster understanding and growth in your relationship;
• And more!

Looking for support?
🗺️Need help setting healthy boundaries with your teen AND following through? My free guide will help you do so by creating your own Parent Home Plan!

🤍Influence lasting change in yourself and your struggling teen with my private coaching or parent group program specifically created for parents of struggling teens.

Have a question or need support? You can email me at [email protected]

You can support the show by:
Leaving a review
Subscribing to the show

And remember parents, the change begins with us.