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Therapist and 12-stepper Josh Walpole shares his personal history with pornography and sexual addiction, and how recovery led him to become a therapist at Circles of Grace (formerly Lifestar). He explores how stories shape recovery, contrasts lying with acceptance and radical honesty, and connects the hero’s journey and redemption arcs to change. He outlines 12-step themes, therapeutic recovery elements, nervous-system regulation and “recognize, respect, regulate, re-story,” and emphasizes sponsorship and hope that recovery is real and possible.

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00:00 Welcome and Keynote Intro
02:26 Meet Josh Walpole
04:13 Buffalo Storm Metaphor
06:09 Why Stories Matter
08:30 Josh's Recovery Story
14:34 Lies to Radical Honesty
19:24 Hero's Journey in Recovery
25:29 Villains and Redemption Arcs
30:08 Pivot Moments and Rock Bottom
33:16 Founders Stories and Pain
38:20 Twelve Steps as a Story
41:19 Therapy Roadmap to Healing
46:19 Brain and Nervous System Stories
51:12 Closing Stories and Sponsorship
55:39 Recovery Is Possible

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Tara McCausland shares an SAL 12 Step Conference keynote presentation by therapist and 12-step participant Amanda Christensen. Amanda explains how childhood power dynamics, explicit and implicit family rules, and family systems patterns can shape secrecy, emotional neglect, perfectionism, and vulnerability to sexual acting out. Amanda shares her own discovery trauma and distinguishes sexual acting-out trauma from deception trauma, emphasizing how secrets and manipulation undermine the betrayed partner’s reality, self-trust, and attachment safety. She outlines common power struggles in couples and within oneself, urging people to exit power battles and move toward surrender and “healthy powerlessness.” She recommends deeper work on underlying wounds through 12-step and therapy, therapeutic disclosure, steps one, four, and nine, transparency agreements, boundaries, and ongoing connection to support healing and choice.

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Understanding Pornography use, Problematic Sexual Behavior and Betrayal Trauma Digital Manual

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Host Jonathan L. interviews LMSW Courtney Weaver about finding quality education and qualified therapy for sex addiction and betrayal trauma recovery. Courtney explains key certifications (CSAT, APSAT, CPTT, C-BIRT), how to choose a therapist based on whether someone is an addict or betrayed partner, and what to ask therapists, including their understanding of pornography’s impact, betrayal trauma, and whether they recognize sex addiction as an addiction; she warns against codependency-based approaches that harm partners. They discuss how therapy and 12-step work can complement each other, when sponsors should defer to therapists (especially for trauma and relationship decisions), and how therapy helps identify underlying belief systems, coping patterns, and childhood roots that often stall progress in recovery work. Courtney outlines best practices for full therapeutic disclosure, recommends research-based resources, and suggests telehealth, podcasts, and community supports while seeking qualified care.

See the full list of questions to qualify a therapist HERE. 

00:00 Welcome and Guest Intro
01:28 Why Therapist Choice Matters
02:06 Decoding the Acronymns
03:24 Picking the Right Therapist For You
04:24 First Therapy Session Questions
06:29 Therapy Modalities Explained
08:53 12 Steps and Therapy Complement Each Other
10:28 Sponsor vs. Therapist Roles
11:57 Surrender and Learning What to Surrender
13:40 Uncovering Trauma 
17:17 Full Therapeutic Disclosure Explained
22:00 Finding Quality Education
23:49 SAL and Community Recovery
25:31 Telehealth and Extra Supports
27:04 Closing Encouragement

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Host Tara McCausland interviews Debbie Laaser about understanding and managing triggers after betrayal.  Laaser explains that distress from triggers is shaped by perceptions and encourages slowing down reactive fight-or-flight responses. Using her “seven desires” model (to be heard/understood, affirmed, blessed/loved unconditionally, safe, healthily touched, chosen, and included), she suggests identifying which unmet desires a trigger activates, noting that unmet needs intensify pain and that past experiences influence present reactions. She recommends journaling triggers with guided questions, offloading anger safely, and communicating practical needs rather than reacting. Laaser emphasizes wives are not responsible for husbands’ acting out behaviors, highlights post-traumatic growth, points listeners to seeking God to meet ultimate desires, and advises early professional help, community support, and a three-part recovery approach: his, hers, and eventually couples work after sobriety and truth-telling.

Connect with Debbie at faithfulandtrue.com.

00:00 Welcome and Topic Setup
01:57 Meet Debbie Laser
02:51 Triggers and Trauma
03:42 Why Triggers Hurt
07:14 Perception vs Truth
09:43 Seven Desires Framework
14:02 Restaurant Trigger Example
17:17 How Past Wounds Amplify Triggers
21:00 Working Through Triggers Process
27:36 Safe Anger Release
32:08 Needs and Boundaries
36:13 Daily Growth and God
43:42  Final Advice
 

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Host Tara McCausland speaks with Pathway to Recovery co-host Jonathan L. Jonathan starts by sharing his adolescent internet porn exposure and how curiosity eventually led to  pornography addiction. He shares how his behavior intensified after his mother died when he was 14, and produced shame, compartmentalization, lying. After marriage, he disclosed to his wife, relapsed, hid again, and later experienced suicidal ideation.  This was followed by Divine help that came after a heartfelt prayer. He was soon after introduced to SAL 12-Step and has been working recovery since 2021. Tara and Jonathan define top lines, bottom lines, and boundaries, and discuss creative top-line practices to build trust, raise bottom lines (e.g., removing social media), and emphasize incremental progress, accountability, celebrating wins, and choosing recovery over addiction.

00:00 Welcome and Guest Intro
01:14 Podcast Milestones and Listener Shoutout
02:39 
03:06 Early Exposure and Addiction Roots
04:41 Loss, Grief, and a Double Life
05:44 Mission, Marriage, and First Disclosure
08:50 Suicidal Ideation and Turning Point
10:35 Recovery Begins - Participating in SAL 12-Step and Therapy
13:35 Compassion for Younger Self
18:27 Defining Top Lines, Bottom Lines, Boundaries
21:54  
22:44 Turning Alone Time into Trust Building Moments
24:05 Celebrating Progress
25:13 
26:35 Sponsor Vision Exercise
27:06 Positive Recovery Mindset - Living by Top Lines
30:02 Weeds vs Flowers Reframe
30:36 Bottom Lines as Guardrails
31:17 Raising Bottom Lines 
34:33 Addressing Overwhelm and Striving for 1% Better
37:44 Celebrate Wins Together
40:45 Intentional Recovery Work
42:22 Discipline Over Regret
43:38 Advice for New and the Tired

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Host Tara McCausland interviews psychotherapist Scott Stolarick, who shares how his work in corrections and with  sex offenders led him to recognize trauma as a driver of maladaptive behavior and the need for both accountability and support rather than shame. They discuss common misconceptions about trauma, differences between recent and historical trauma, and how childhood coping strategies can become harmful in adult relationships. Scott emphasizes trauma’s personal nature, the importance of validating first disclosures, building safety and trust, careful history-taking, and thoughtful use of modalities like EMDR with informed consent, concluding with encouragement for those beginning or continuing recovery.

00:00 Conference Invitation
01:40 Meet the Host and Guest
03:49 Scott’s Background
04:43 Seeing Trauma in Sex Offenders
09:44 Myths About Trauma
13:05 Fresh vs Historical Trauma
14:19 Trauma for Addicts vs Partners
17:54 Childhood Maladaptive Coping Skills Brought into Adulthood
21:32 What Counts as Trauma
25:06 Building Resilience
28:33 Why Trauma Awareness Matters
31:17 Healing Order of Operations
35:54 Effective Trauma Modalities
37:25 Closing Advice for Recovery
38:36 Final Thanks and Wrap

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Host Jonathan L.  interviews guest Heather B. about surrender as a key recovery principle. Heather shares formative experiences where prayer was her refuge amid family abuse and dysfunction, her brother’s fatal accident, and a first marriage marked by discoveries of multiple addictions that led to her choosing divorce. Heather describes healing trauma through therapy and shares how applying SAL’s three-step surrender process (“on the phone, on my knees, in the box”), has helped her learn to relinquish control and trust God, allowing her to find peace amidst many of life's challenges.  

00:00 Conference Announcement
02:03 Meet the Host and Guest
02:40 Early Experiences with the Power of Prayer
05:15 First Marriage and Betrayal
08:03 Miracles and a New Path
09:28 Second Marriage Growth
12:37 Therapy and Trauma Healing
14:22 Learning the Surrender Process
16:38 What is Surrender?
19:17 Phone Knees Box Method
23:23 Letting Go of Outcomes
28:27 Regulating Big Emotions
30:40 Handling Intrusive Thoughts
32:30 Daily Spiritual Practice
35:33 Advice for Newcomers
37:22 Encouragement to Return
38:56 Closing Thanks and Wrap

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Host Tara McCausland welcomes Dr. Jill Manning for part two of a discussion on pornography and dating. This episode covers what to do when a dating relationship is already affected by pornography. Manning advises an immediate “slow down,” warning against the myth that marriage or sex will solve pornography or sexual addiction, and urges partners not to proceed toward engagement or marriage while addiction is active; she cites guidance that a year of sobriety and recovery work is ideally established first. They discuss avoiding codependent “fixing” by the non-using partner,  clarifying responsibility, and how marriage stress can escalate compulsive behavior. Manning describes recovery markers beyond abstinence—insight, humility, openness, honesty, transparency, firm boundaries, and emotional maturity—and notes compulsive sexual behavior often co-occurs with mental health issues.

00:00 Conference Announcement
01:19 Podcast Welcome
03:41 Slow Down First
08:46 Boundaries Not Fixing
11:16 Marriage Myth Debunked
19:33 Leverage Before Marriage
26:18 Mental Health Underneath
28:41 Signs of Real Recovery
36:03 Avoid Codependency
40:15 Hopeful Closing

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Host Tara McCausland speaks with Dr. Jill Manning about empowering singles to prevent pornography problems through education, value clarification, and open communication. Manning rejects the narrative that “all men look at porn,” noting both genders can struggle and that “common” doesn’t mean healthy; she warns that this belief enables use and often causes individuals to abandon personal values or ignore discomfort around pornography use. She advises bringing the topic up in dating situations after some trust is built, prepping with other meaningful discussion topics, and paying attention to a person's comfort and authenticity around the subject of pornography. Manning explains pornography use is never a "small issue" because it consistently undermines healthy relationship development citing research linked to porn use and relationship dissatisfaction and increased divorce risk.

00:00 Conference Announcement
01:20 Meet Dr. Jill Manning
02:36 Why This Topic Matters
05:20 Jill’s Experience: Dating and Talking About Pornography
10:21 Myth: Everyone Does Porn
15:36 Clarifying Values and Ethics
25:23 Research and Real World Harms
28:40 How to Bring It Up in Dating
36:47 Why It’s Never a Small Issue
42:05 Part Two Teaser and Wrap

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Jonathan L welcomes Mitch H, who shares his journey from early pornography exposure to escalating sex and lust addiction marked by secrecy, workplace boundary violations, confession, marital strain, and cycles of relapse. Lasting change began when a sponsor challenged him to fully commit to recovery and to do whatever recovery required. Mitch describes humility as the key to sustainable recovery—“seeing things as they really are” and staying “right sized,” without ego or self-condemnation. He explains how humility fuels honesty, connection with God, and trust in a sponsor, making it essential to working the steps and maintaining long-term change. Mitch closes by encouraging newcomers to keep coming back and reassuring them that healing and freedom are possible.

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