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In this episode, host Tara McCausland and Dr. Kevin Skinner discuss effective communication strategies for couples dealing with sexual betrayal and addiction. Dr. Skinner emphasizes the importance of slowing down conversations and understanding underlying emotions, such as fear and pain, rather than responding defensively. He suggests techniques like 'deep listening,' adult timeouts, and back-to-back communication to help break negative patterns. Dr. Skinner also highlights the importance of external support systems like sponsorship and groups, and advises against making quick decisions in the wake of betrayal. The conversation underscores the critical role of self-awareness and intentional effort in achieving healthier communication and ultimately, relationship recovery.
00:00 Introduction to Dr. Kevin Skinner
01:19 Welcome and Initial Thoughts on Communication
01:52 Challenges of Communication After Betrayal
03:43 Understanding Anger in Betrayed Partners
13:43 The Importance of Deep Listening
15:49 Breaking Communication Patterns
18:24 Techniques for Effective Communication
25:51 Understanding Attunement in Relationships
27:16 The Importance of Adult Timeouts
30:06 The Myth of Never Going to Bed Angry
32:16 Effective Communication Techniques
33:33 The Role of Support Systems
39:49 Final Thoughts and Advice
Connect with Dr. Kevin Skinner at humanintimacy.com.
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In this Pathway to Recovery episode, Jon I. shares his journey of addiction, hitting rock bottom, and ultimately finding healing through the 12-step process of SAL 12-Step. He discusses the process of working up to and including Step 8, which involves creating a list of people harmed and becoming willing to make amends. Jon describes how the real struggle wasn't making the list but finding the willingness to forgive those who hurt him, including himself. Through prayer and the support of his sponsor and fellow members, Jon learned to soften his heart and confront past resentments, which led to significant personal transformation. His recovery process wasn't linear, as he relapsed once, but ultimately, it was through humbling himself, staying committed to the program, and seeking connection with others that he achieved long-term sobriety and healing.
Jon’s recovery journey extended beyond personal transformation; it also deeply impacted his family. After a relapse, Jon faced the threat of losing his marriage and family. The SAL 12 Step tagline of "Recovering Individuals - Healing Families" is very prominently testified of throughout this conversation. He emphasizes the importance of connection in recovery, particularly through reaching out to others, as this was a lifeline for him. His story highlights that recovery is an ongoing process requiring vulnerability, humility, and consistent action. Jon’s closing message is one of hope and encouragement, urging both newcomers and long-time members to stay engaged, keep working the program, and lean on the support of the community: “Keep coming back. It works if you work it, so work it. You are worth it.”
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In this episode, host Tara McCausland and guest expert Sherie Christensen discuss Narcissistic Personality Disorder (NPD), its diagnostic criteria, and misconceptions around the term 'narcissist' within today's culture. Sherie explains the difference between narcissistic traits and true NPD, how personality disorders impact addiction, and emphasizes the importance of distinguishing between addict behaviors and NPD. The episode also explores other issues such as high-functioning autism (HFA) and its overlap with narcissistic or addict-like traits. Sherie elaborates on the necessity of comprehensive therapy alongside 12-step programs for effective recovery, highlighting the role of empathy, boundaries, and the importance of compassion in dealing with mental health issues. The episode concludes with a message of hope and the significance of consistent work in recovery.
Connect with Sherie on her podcast - Two Therapists Talking - or go online. https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/therapists/sherie-adams-christensen-taylorsville-ut/489239
00:00 Introduction to Sherie Adams Christensen
01:22 Understanding Narcissism (NPD)
03:30 Diagnostic Criteria for NPD
13:39 NPD and Addiction
18:09 Types of Narcissists
22:44 High Functioning Autism and Addiction
27:07 Comorbid Issues in Addiction
32:00 The Importance of Therapy and 12-Step Programs
33:44 Understanding and Compassion for NPD
41:07 Final Thoughts and Hope in Recovery
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In this episode of the 'Pathway to Recovery Podcast,' hosted by Justin B., the discussion centers on step seven of the 12-step recovery program, featuring Kahi W., a betrayed spouse of a sexual addict. Kahi shares her personal journey of the support she found in SAL 12-step meetings since 2012, and the vital role these meetings play in her healing process. The conversation delves into humility, the importance of community support, and the continuous action required for recovery, emphasizing the significance of acknowledging both strengths and defects, and offering them to a higher power. Kahi provides practical advice and shares personal experiences highlighting the daily practice of surrender and trusting in a greater power to manage life's challenges.
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In this episode, host Tara McCausland speaks with Jeanne Vattuone, LCSW, CSAT, and current APSATS president. She explains the evolution of the trauma-informed treatment model and its benefits for the betrayed and the betrayer over the traditional co-addict or co-dependent model. Jeanne also details the APSATS multidimensional partner trauma model phases: safety and stabilization, grief and mourning, and reconnecting and rebuilding. The episode underscores the importance of specialized care for both those struggling with sex addiction and their partners and how understanding the impact of trauma helps relationships heal. Jeanne emphasizes the necessity of proper education, consultation, and certified training for effective therapy, as well as the roles and values of the Association of Sex Addiction Partner Trauma Specialists (APSATS).
00:00 Betrayal Trauma Healing: Insights with APSATS President, Jeanne Vattuone
02:42 Journey into Sex Addiction and Partner Betrayal Trauma
04:58 Founding and Evolution of APSATS
16:06 The Importance of Qualified Therapy
20:05 Understanding Trauma vs. Other Models
23:34 Grief and Mourning Stage
23:47 Transition to Post-Traumatic Growth
24:12 Non-Linear Healing Process
25:37 Reconnection and Transformation
26:41 Challenges in Recovery
28:06 Compassionate Healing
31:47 APSATS Resources and Support
35:43 Trauma Model in Practice
44:19 Closing Thoughts
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In this episode of the Pathway to Recovery Podcast, host Justin B. guides listeners through step six of the 12-step recovery program with guest Brady W. Justin shares his experiences as a recovering sex addict and introduces Brady, who discusses his decade-long journey battling addiction to lust and his recent recovery with SAL 12 Step. The episode dives into Brady's personal insights on character defects like dishonesty, impatience, and selfishness, and how he has worked to overcome them through his higher power and community support. Justin and Brady also discuss the importance of willingness in recovery, the transformative power of community sharing, and offer advice to both newcomers and veterans in the 12-step program.
00:00 Introduction to the Pathway to Recovery Podcast
00:52 Meet Brady: A Journey of Recovery
02:08 Understanding Lust Beyond the Sexual
02:57 Steps of Recovery: An Overview
04:09 Brady's Experience with Steps 1-5
06:33 Diving into Step 6: Character Defects
15:54 The Importance of Willingness in Recovery
27:56 Healing Families Through Individual Recovery
38:24 Advice for Newcomers and Old Timers
40:12 Closing Thoughts and Encouragement
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In this episode, host Tara McCausland speaks with Michelle Mays about the complex and harmful phenomenon of gaslighting. Mays explains the four types of gaslighting—lying, reality manipulation, scapegoating, and coercion—and the impact each has on those who experience betrayal trauma. The discussion delves into the mental health ramifications, the stages of gaslighting, and the journey of healing for both the gaslighter and the gaslighted. Emphasizing the importance of self-awareness and professional support, the episode offers valuable insights into overcoming the layers of self-deception and relational harm caused by gaslighting.
Connect with Michelle at www.michellemays.com or www.relationalrecovery.com
00:00 Welcome and Introduction
00:53 Podcast Update
01:57 Introducing Michelle Mays
03:07 Understanding Gaslighting
03:47 Types of Gaslighting
04:29 Impact of Gaslighting on Mental Health
06:14 Scapegoating and Coercion
10:15 Recognizing Gaslighting in Relationships
14:39 Addicted Partner's Perspective
20:46 Stages of Gaslighting for Betrayed Partners
22:38 Stage Two: Defense Mechanisms
23:51 Stage Three: Depression and Despair
27:50 Understanding Betrayal Blindness
37:08 Healing from Gaslighting
46:12 Final Thoughts and Advice
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SAL 12 Step
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In this episode of the Pathway to Recovery podcast, Justin B. explores step five of the SAL 12-step program with guest Carolyn E. Carolyn shares her personal journey through the steps, particularly her experiences with Step 5, highlighting the importance of rigorous honesty, accountability, and the support of a sponsor. She discusses the challenges and blessings of managing shame, the role of God at her center, and the impacts of her recovery on her family. The discussion emphasizes that healing comes from within, supported by faith and the willingness to confront and share one's truth.
Register for the 2024 S.A. Lifeline Conference.
Learn more about our conference sponsor - Circles of Grace.
Healing Through Christ Workbook
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In this special episode of the Pathway to Recovery podcast, host Tara McCausland introduces speakers from the upcoming 2024 S.A. Lifeline virtual conference happening on September 26-28, 2024. The episode features insights from notable speakers like Janice Caudill, Dan Drake, Crystal Hollenbeck, Roy Kim, Tammy Gustafson, and MJ Dennis, covering critical topics such as betrayal trauma anger, the importance of group work in recovery, power dynamics, and sexual healing post-infidelity. Dr. Jill Manning also highlights the unique benefits of attending the conference, including reduced isolation, access to helpful resources, and the emphasis on both individual and couple recovery.
Register for the 2024 S.A. Lifeline Conference
Meet our sponsor, Circles of Grace
Support the show
SA Lifeline Foundation
SAL 12 Step
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In this episode, host Tara McCausland speaks with Dr. Stefanie Cranes about the challenges of defining and diagnosing sex addiction. Topics covered include the historical context for diagnosis problems, the stigma and societal misunderstandings surrounding it, and the prevalence and causes of sex addiction based on recent research. Dr. Carnes also shares the distinct impact of sex addiction on individuals and families, compares it to other addictions, and offers hopeful advice for those starting or already on their recovery journey.
REGISTER FOR THE 2024 S.A. LIFELINE CONFERENCE
Learn more about our conference sponsor,
Circles of Grace. https://circlesofgrace.health/
Resources and connect with Dr. Carnes:
sexhelp.com
iitap.com
[email protected]
00:00 Introduction and Conference Announcement
01:35 Guest Expert Introduction: Dr. Stephanie Carnes
03:38 Challenges in Diagnosing Sexual Addiction
05:03 Historical Context for Diagnosis Problems
07:51 Impact of Lack of Diagnosis on Treatment
11:55 Disparities in Care
23:36 Neuroscience and Behavioral Addiction
26:46 Debate Over Terminology and Classification
35:17 Prevalence and Future Trends
40:23 Primary Causes and Research Insights
44:46 Resources and Final Thoughts
Support the show
SA Lifeline Foundation
SAL 12 Step
Find an SAL12Step Meeting
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Transcripts
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