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In this special Q&A episode, we share a portion of the Q&A Panel Discussion from our 2023 S.A. Lifeline Conference.  Here are the questions answered in this segment:

-What resources do you recommend for an individual in recovery who wants to understand how best to support their betrayed spouse?

-I have four adult daughters. Who have been affected by divorce and the effects of my addiction. What would you recommend I do to help them heal from the trauma I have caused?

-Should a full restoration of trust from the betrayed be expected? 

-As you begin your journey to recovery, how do you deal with overwhelming feelings of shame and worthlessness?

- What traditions or hacks have you been doing in your family that make it easy and comfortable to talk about healthy sexuality? 

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Join Tara in this fascinating episode as she talks with Anna Lembke, author of Dopamine Nation.  Learn how addiction works in the brain and how to keep the balance between pleasure and pain on an even keel.  Anna discusses how rigorous honesty helps heal relationships and strengthens the brain. People who practice "strict" sobriety tend to  have a better chance of recovery.  And can the right type of shame actually help? Listen to find out more.

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Today is another Q & A with our hosts, Tara McCausland and Justin B. 

Most addicts lie about their behaviors because they think it will protect themselves and not hurt others around them. Justin discusses how he eventually recognized the error in his thinking and how honesty has improved his relationships. They talk about how dishonesty is one of the most hurtful things for a betrayed partner.

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Our annual S.A. Lifeline Conference Come Heal With Us: A Community Focus on the Effects of Pornography, Sexual Addiction & Betrayal Trauma is right around the corner on Sept. 9, 2023 in Sandy, Utah. In this special episode, we meet several of our speakers and hear in their words a brief overview of their presentations. We end with the wisdom of a former conference presenter and participant, Dr. Jill Manning, who suggests four powerful reasons why individuals, couples, therapists, and faith leaders would greatly benefit from joining us at this uplifting event. 

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Allison T and her husband thought his pornography addiction would get better once they were married. She spent many years in a support role to her husband before she realized she had betrayal trauma. She explains how a willing heart came gradually as she recognized she had her own recovery work, separate from her husbands'.  Allison shares how the SAL12 step program differs from other programs and how recovery work continues to better her life and marriage.

To register for our conference on September 9th, click here.

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Hosts Tara McCausland and Justin B speak again with Heather B about her experience developing a willing heart and choosing to work her recovery from betrayal trauma even though her husband, Justin, did not choose recovery for 7 long years after disclosure. Heather discusses how humble prayer, a helpful faith leader, and taking small steps toward recovery was key in her journey to find hope and healing for herself. She explains that even though Justin did not acknowledge his addiction or choose to attend 12-Step for years, working the tools of recovery helped her find peace and serenity even while Justin was an active addict. 

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Host Tara McCausland speaks with betrayal trauma expert, Dr. Jill Manning,  about how a betrayed partner can apply the  recovery puzzle pieces of a willing heart, honesty,  humility, accountability, commitment, and seeking spiritual connection to facilitate healing.  As a betrayed spouse, it is easy to feel like a victim of our addicted partner's behavior and believe recovery work is theirs to do, not ours. While this is understandable, Jill and Tara discuss why some partners might  struggle with this and how staying in that mindset can stifle growth.  Jill discusses how  betrayed partners can move out of a victim mindset to a willingness to step on and stay on the recovery path to experience true, long-term healing. 

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Tara has a conversation with Heather B and Justin B, a married couple who are living in long-term recovery from sexual addiction.  The conversation goes into Heather's experience with "Discovery Day" and Justin's perspective of it.  They discuss the miracle that happens when God is put at the center of the spouse, even if and when the addicted spouse is not actively working recovery.

To register for the SA Lifeline Conference that is coming up on September 9, 2023, please click here.

EL DÍA DEL DESCUBRIMIENTO: ¿CÓMO TE LAS ARREGLASTE LAS PRIMERAS 24 HORAS?

Tara mantiene una conversación con Heather B y Justin B, un matrimonio que está viviendo la recuperación a largo plazo de una adicción sexual. La conversación se enfoca en la experiencia de Heather con “el día del descubrimiento” y la perspectiva de Justin sobre ello. Ellos discuten el milagro que ocurre cuando Dios es colocado en el centro de la esposa, incluso cuando el esposo adicto no está trabajando activamente su recuperación.

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Justin B. has an insightful conversation with Irvin S, a sex addict living in recovery, about his experiences with obtaining, applying, and maintaining a willing heart to heal his family.  We review the SA Lifeline Recovery Puzzle and discuss how a willing heart must include the following:  Humility, Rigorous Honesty, Accountability, Commitment, and Seeking Spiritual Connection. Irvin shares some miraculous and touching stories of the healing and connection that becoming willing to do and live the principles of 12 Step recovery have had in his family. 

Register for the SA Lifeline 2023 Conference

About the SA Lifeline Recovery Puzzle
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SAL 12 Step
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Support the show

SA Lifeline Foundation
SAL 12 Step
Find an SAL12Step Meeting
Donate
Contact to ask questions or make comments
Transcripts

Send us a text

Hosts Tara McCausland and Justin B discuss what a willing heart, the central piece of the S.A. Lifeline Recovery Puzzle, looks like for a sexual addict. Justin describes the need for admission of addictive behavior as an important starting point and then an open-mindedness to new things in the recovery journey such as attending a 12-Step meeting. 

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