Perfectionism Rewired with CLG

Discover why being proud of yourself is a mission critical skill for all perfectionists and how to rewire your brain to see your value. Un-learn the misconceptions currently getting in the way of you being proud of you and how to exit the inadequacy cycle. Thinking I don't have anything to be proud of? I'm giving you 5 reasons that you can be proud of yourself + the tool I use everyday to be proud of myself NO MATTER HAT I have or haven't accomplished.

On paper, you’ve got it together— isn’t it time you felt like it? Whether it's becoming much more DECISIVE in everything you do, PRESENCE with your family or turning down the volume on self-criticism, Perfectionism Optimized, private 1-1 coaching gives you the life-long skills to *finally feel* as amazing on the inside as your life looks on the outside. Get your stress-free start today at https://courtneylovegavin.com/optimized

00:00-Perfectionists + Valuing Yourself Beyond Achievements

01:52-Upgrading From "Being Successful to Be Proud Of You"

03:15-Why being proud is USEFUL SKILL for perfectionists

04:57-Living a life stuck in inadequacy

06:03-Fear of Losing Motivation if Proud Now

07:48-Finding something to be proud of: $3,000,000 challenge

08:31-Attaching productivity to proud aka POISON

09:50-Passive failing vs. active failing

11:17-Feeling proud without eradicating negative emotions

12:56-Shrinking the part of your brain that triggers stress

SOURCES REFERENCED In Ep. 237

• Fischer, J. (2012). Being Proud and Feeling Proud: Character, Emotion, and the Moral Psychology of Personal Ideals. The Journal of Value Inquiry, 46(2), 209–222. https://doi.org/10.1007/s10790-012-9337-x
• Neff, K. D. (2009). The Role of Self-Compassion in Development: A Healthier Way to Relate to Oneself. Human Development, 52(4), 211–214. https://doi.org/10.1159/000215071
• Nepon, T. (2024). Perfectionism, Self-Image Goals and Compassionate Goals in Health and Mental Health: A Longitudinal Analysis - Taryn Nepon, Gordon L. Flett, Paul L. Hewitt, 2024. https://journals.sagepub.com/doi/10.1177/07342829241239997

Do compliments make you uncomfy? Tired of constantly achieving and never feeling satisfied?  Discover the *real reason* you’re still chasing validation from other people (it has nothing to do with accomplishments or self-esteem) and how to stop relying on external praise + recognition. Perfectionism Optimized client, bravely shares her story of being an Oscar-winning superstar vying for attention, feeling undeserving of praise and constructing her whole life around getting approval (and avoiding rejection). Hear step-by-step how she dropped the fears of not being good enough + being judged by others, let go of needing anyone’s approval and rewired recognition on her own terms.  

If you want to make sure the Approval Trap never trips you up again, and want proven, science-backed tools to become SO CERTAIN about the value you bring, become RESILIENT + RESOURCEFUL during your most stressful moments and finally feel as amazing on the inside as your life looks on the outside, you belong inside Perfectionism Optimized, private 1-1 coaching. Get your stress-free start today at https://courtneylovegavin.com/optimized

• Why Achievements Feel Empty and How to Change That
• How lies we tell ourselves hold us back from seeing our own value
• Practical steps to start giving yourself the praise you deserve.

1. Decoding Your Unconscious Motivational Patterns (Perfectionism Rewired Ep. 80)
2. Perfectionism Optimized: Patented, proven science-backed tools  that help you take charge of your perfectionism and learn to celebrate your achievements the healthy way.

Credible Scientific Sources Cited In Ep. 236

• Burton, K. D., Lydon, J. E., D'Alessandro, D. U., & Koestner, R. (2006). The differential effects of intrinsic and identified motivation on well-being and performance: Prospective, experimental, and implicit approaches to self-determination theory. Journal of Personality and Social Psychology, 91(4), 750-762. https://doi.org/10.1037/0022-3514.91.4.750
• Deci, E. L., & Ryan, R. M. (2015). Intrinsic Motivation and Self-Determination in Human Behavior. SpringerLink. https://doi.org/10.1007-978-1-4899-2271-7
• Nepon, T. (2024). Perfectionism, Self-Image Goals and Compassionate Goals in Health and Mental Health: A Longitudinal Analysis - Taryn Nepon, Gordon L. Flett, Paul L. Hewitt, 2024. https://journals.sagepub.com/doi/10.1177/07342829241239997

Tired of thinking about work during family time? Feeling guilty whenever work takes you away from your family? Learn step-by-step how to LET GO OF GUILT. Perfectionism Optimized client Nicole shares how she went from mom guilt overload to missing her kids' first day of school and her entire family celebrating it. Also, discover the why behind your guilt, cost of continuing to carry guilt and how other approaches to stop feeling guilty simply *don't work* for perfectionists. 

On paper, you’ve got it together— isn’t it time you felt like it? Whether it's becoming much more DECISIVE in everything you do, PRESENCE with your family or turning down the volume on self-criticism, Perfectionism Optimized, private 1-1 coaching gives you the life-long skills to *finally feel* as amazing on the inside as your life looks on the outside. Get your stress-free start today at https://courtneylovegavin.com/optimized

• Flynn, F. J., & Schaumberg, R. L. (2012). When feeling bad leads to feeling good: Guilt-proneness and affective organizational commitment. Journal of Applied Psychology, 97(1), 124–133. https://doi.org/10.1037/a0024166
• Schaumberg, R. L., & Flynn, F. J. (2012). Uneasy lies the head that wears the crown: The link between guilt proneness and leadership. Journal of Personality and Social Psychology, 103(2), 327–342. https://doi.org/10.1037/a0028127
• Wiltermuth, S. S., & Cohen, T. R. (2014). “I’d only let you down”: Guilt proneness and the avoidance of harmful interdependence. Journal of Personality and Social Psychology, 107(5), 925–942. https://doi.org/10.1037/a0037523

You've been thinking about fear of failure all wrong. Get it right and find out what fear of failure is protecting you from, the underlying reasons behind fear of failure, the sneaky ways fear of failure shows up for perfectionists, what fear of failure really is (not good enough) why popular advice for overcoming fear of failure isn’t helpful for perfectionists and practical steps you can take today to dissolve this pattern.

On paper, you’ve got it together— isn’t it time you felt like it? Whether it's becoming much more DECISIVE in everything you do, PRESENCE with your family on vacation or turning down the volume on self-criticism, Perfectionism Optimized, private 1-1 coaching gives you the life-long skills to *finally feel* as amazing on the inside as your life looks on the outside. Get your stress-free start today at https://courtneylovegavin.com/optimized

00:57-Sneaky Ways Fear of Failure Shows Up For Perfectionists
02:32-What Are You Waiting For?
04:47-Protecting Subconscious Mind From Feeling Inadequate
05:40-Black and White Thinking
06:17-Fear of Inadequacy
07:44-Procrastination and Indecision
09:34-Surfing Through Fear of Failure
10:25-Growth vs Fixed Mindset
11:32-Cognitive Dissonance in Perfectionism
14:06-Solving and Evolving Through Mistakes
16:46-Discovering the Only Problem You Have + Solving It

Ever feel like you're constantly walking a tightrope? Expected to be confident but not too intimidating. Be assertive, but don't get aggressive. As women in leadership we've developed coping mechanisms to navigate these obstacles - like over-preparing, always getting it right and making sure we're well liked. These strategies have kept us afloat, but at what cost? Putting our careers ahead of our values, keeping one eye on the inbox even at the playground. So, how do we break free from this cycle? How do we burn bright without burning out and lead without losing ourselves? Your answers are inside this episode. . 

On paper, you’ve got it together— isn’t it time you felt like it? Whether it's becoming much more DECISIVE in everything you do, PRESENCE with your family on vacation or turning down the volume on self-criticism, Perfectionism Optimized, private 1-1 coaching gives you the life-long skills to *finally feel* as amazing on the inside as your life looks on the outside. Get your stress-free start today at https://courtneylovegavin.com/optimized

Discover why proving yourself is career poison, how to recognize the hidden, nuanced ways proving shows up (like when you put $$ in tip jar) and what lies beneath this constant pressure to constantly prove yourself. Finally get to the source of why even when you're at the top of your game, what's driving you to overwork, question your value and seek validation at every turn. 

On paper, you’ve got it together— isn’t it time you felt like it? Whether it's becoming much more DECISIVE in everything you do, PRESENCE with your family on vacation or turning down the volume on self-criticism, Perfectionism Optimized, private 1-1 coaching gives you the life-long skills to *finally feel* as amazing on the inside as your life looks on the outside. Get your stress-free start today at https://courtneylovegavin.com/optimized

Did I make the wrong choice? Why does this bother me so much? Am I letting them down? What if I fail? Spinning in self-judgement and second guessing every small move you make, your brain won't stop replaying magnifying your mistakes. Find out the REAL reason your inner critic won't shut up and how to start asking better questions so you can feel better right NOW.

On paper, you’ve got it together— isn’t it time you felt like it? Whether it's becoming much more DECISIVE in everything you do, PRESENCE with your family on vacation or turning down the volume on self-criticism, Perfectionism Optimized, private 1-1 coaching gives you the life-long skills to *finally feel* as amazing on the inside as your life looks on the outside. Get your stress-free start today at https://courtneylovegavin.com/optimized

• Episode on the science of how your brain answers questions (Perfectionism Rewired Ep. 39)
• Questions To Ask Yourself For Instant Excellence (Perfectionism Rewired Ep. 23)

Discover the clues you’re clenching that you’d NEVER GUESS are rooted in your perfectionistic tendencies. Plus how Perfectionism Optimized client Molly reversed her Osteoporosis diagnosis and regained her sex drive. Learn why we clench, what’s happening inside your body + brain, the 5 core pillars key to releasing the clench
 

You don't have to white knuckle your perfectionism. And if you feel like you are, I invite you to come coach with me 1-on-1 inside Perfectionism Optimized, where you'll learn how to take charge of your perfectionistic tendencies, which means you'll finally feel as awesome as your life looks and stop trying to control everyone in your orbit. Get your stress-free start today at https://courtneylovegavin.com/optimized  

• https://perfectionismrewired.com/episode/fascia-the-missing-puzzle-piece-for-perfectionists

• Chiara Ghetti, Skoczylas, L. C., Oliphant, S. S., Nikolajski, C., & Lowder, J. L. (2015). The Emotional Burden of Pelvic Organ Prolapse in Women Seeking Treatment. Female Pelvic Medicine & Reconstructive Surgery, 21(6), 332–338. https://doi.org/10.1097/spv.0000000000000190
• Khan, Z. A., C. Whittal, S. Mansol, Osborne, L. A., Reed, P., & Emery, S. (2013). Effect of depression and anxiety on the success of pelvic floor muscle training for pelvic floor dysfunction. Journal of Obstetrics and Gynaecology, 33(7), 710–714. https://doi.org/10.3109/01443615.2013.813913
• Taple, B. J., Griffith, J. W., Weaver, C., & Kenton, K. S. (2020). Enhancing behavioral treatment for women with pelvic floor disorders: Study protocol for a pilot randomized controlled trial. Contemporary Clinical Trials Communications, 17, 100514–100514. https://doi.org/10.1016/j.conctc.2019.100514

Signs you’re programming your kids for anxiety without knowing it, how children pick up anxiety from perfectionistic parents,  why traditional methods like therapy are 15x slower at achieving results, what *actually works* for caring, busy, perfectionist parents who want a physiology of excellence and how developing a physiology of excellence gives you unrivaled resilience, presence, and emotional intelligence

On paper, you’ve got it together— isn’t it time you felt like it?  Perfectionism Optimized, private 1-1 coaching gives you the life-long skills to  *finally feel* as amazing on the inside as your life looks on the outside. Get your stress-free start today at https://courtneylovegavin.com/optimized

Preventing passing of anxiety to your kids starts with understanding how your own physiology affects theirs. Children are always parroting you, especially how you carry worry, anxiety and guilt. Making it vital to learn how to metabolize your emotions efficiently with daily practices instead of shutting down or sweeping it under the rug. Learn how implementing a daily hygiene practice, like the patented E.P.I.C. Skills framework, you free up energy for what matters most and create a healthier environment for your whole family.

• https://perfectionismrewired.com/episode/fascia-the-missing-puzzle-piece-for-perfectionists

• Bordoni, B., & Simonelli, M. (2018). The Awareness of the Fascial System. Curēus. https://doi.org/10.7759/cureus.3397
• Langevin, H. M. (2022). Making Connections to Improve Health Outcomes - Helene M. Langevin, 2022. Retrieved June 22, 2024, from Global Advances in Health and Medicine website: https://journals.sagepub.com/doi/full/10.1177/2164957X221079792
• Lesondak, D. (2018, April 6). Fascia: What it is and Why it Matters. Retrieved June 22, 2024, from ResearchGate website: https://www.researchgate.net/publication/324261326_Fascia_What_it_is_and_Why_it_Matters

Fascia is the Wi-Fi of your insides, with over 250 million sensory receptors weaving through its matrix - it’s how emotions are made and where we feel our sensations, instincts and intuition. But if you tend to overthink, ruminate, catastrophize or stress out, you're compromising your fascia which impacts your body's ability to function optimally + think clearly. Discover why fascia is the missing puzzle piece for perfectionists and how to detect if there's dead zones in your own fascial network- where your sensations, instincts and intuition intersect. 

On paper, you’ve got it together— isn’t it time you felt like it?  Perfectionism Optimized, private 1-1 coaching gives you the life-long skills to  *finally feel* as amazing on the inside as your life looks on the outside. Get your stress-free start today at https://courtneylovegavin.com/optimized

01:38-The Role of Fascia in Mental Clarity and Confidence
02:10-Where fascia is found and its impact on your body
03:03-Fascia's Role in Breaking Generational Belief Patterns
04:06-How fascia sends and receives information at the speed of light
05:01-Wi-Fi of your Insights + Intuition
06:10-What Skin is to Touch, Fascia is to Your Feelings
07:25-How To 10x Your Emotional Intelligence
09:18-The flexibility of fascia for quick improvements
10:15-Benefits of upgrading your fascia's communication system.

• Bordoni, B., & Marelli, F. (2017). Emotions in Motion: Myofascial Interoception. Complementary Medicine Research, 24(2), 110–113. https://doi.org/10.1159/000464149
• Bordoni, B., & Simonelli, M. (2018). The Awareness of the Fascial System. Curēus. https://doi.org/10.7759/cureus.3397
• Fede, C., Petrelli, L., Guidolin, D., Porzionato, A., Pirri, C., Fan, C., … Stecco, C. (2021). Evidence of a new hidden neural network into deep fasciae. Scientific Reports, 11(1). https://doi.org/10.1038/s41598-021-92194-z
• Palomero-Gallagher, N., & Katrin Amunts. (2021). A short review on emotion processing: a lateralized network of neuronal networks. Brain Structure & Function, 227(2), 673–684. https://doi.org/10.1007/s00429-021-02331-7
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