Permission for Pleasure

Continuing our conversation for the over 50 crowd with helpful tips including transition time, positions, pillows, vibrators and more. Listen in as we get creative with shifts in desire, and tools to accommodate our changing bodies. Learn ways to make sex more interesting. 

More on these topics
Desire styles
Embracing your desire
How curiosity fuels desire
Vaginal estrogen, vaginal moisturizers, and lube for sex
Erectile dissatisfaction vs. Erectile dysfunction
Sexual adaptations and aids for all bodies
Pain and Sex
Arya intimacy concierge and scene guidance use code CS15
When a partner wants to try something new
Positions with props
Tabu Prim Pillow
Why vibrators work for women and how to choose one
Intimate Wellbeing use code CINDY15
Bedroom Games
Coconu card game use code 30PLEASURE
Naked At Our Age book review

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Menopause doesn’t mean your sex life is over. In fact, you may find yourself having the best sex of your life! Join me for a chat specifically for the over 50 crowd. Let’s talk about desire, arousal, and changing things up as we change. Your pleasure matters!

Visit our episode sponsor Uberlube, use CINDY 

Mentioned in this episode:
Guide to lube
Perimenopause: Hormones and Symptoms
Perimenopause: Treatment Options
Everything we get wrong about initiation
Two ways affection can deepen your connection
Midlife and Menopause with Heather
Sexual reset for midlife women

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Community guest Kaleigh Osadick joins me to share ideas to remove shame around self-expression. We chat about challenging the norms, and reframing what defines sexy. Learn to role play with her scene creation tips, and gain the confidence to be the main character in your sex life! 

Kaleigh Osadick is an educator, coach and producer with over a decade of experience teaching acting, voice, and embodiment. With a background in theatre, and psychology-through play and voice, she's helped many clients-from students, adults with special needs, and aspiring performers find their voice and power both on camera and in life. 

Mentioned in this episode:
Turn up the volume on your sex life
Arousal and Role Play
Confidence is sexy with Dana
Bedroom games
Toys, fantasy and play in the bedroom 

ORDER my Book: Permission for Pleasure: Tending Your Sexual Garden
JOIN my Newsletter: Good Education for Good Sex
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Self-touching or masturbation is one healthy way to be sexual, but certainly not the only way. From investigating your sexual ethics to creating your own sensual playlist, movement, and more - these ideas will help you explore being a sexual person outside of masturbation.

Mentioned in this episode:
10 Ideas - no masturbation required
My letter to young women
Questions to ask yourself with Cyndi Darnell
Sensuality on the blog
Using your senses for pleasure
Sexy playlist
Reconnecting to yourself and to your body
Mindfulness with Dr. Lori Brotto
Your body, mind and nervous system with Aurora

ORDER my Book: Permission for Pleasure: Tending Your Sexual Garden
JOIN my Newsletter: Good Education for Good Sex
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Throughout life, we all face changes in our body that impact how we experience pleasure with sex. Laura Glazebrook PT, DPT, specializes in neurological injuries and all manner of pelvic health concerns. She joins me to talk about adaptations, tools, toys, and positional aids - for all bodies. Whether you’re post surgery, post injury, or navigating change, this conversation is full of practical tips, products, and resources for all of life’s seasons.

Visit our episode sponsor Uberlube and use code CINDY

Laura Glazebrook, PT, DPT spent ten years specializing in neurological injuries at world-renowned Shepherd Center in Atlanta, and has specialized training to evaluate and treat a variety of pelvic health concerns for all genders and ages.

More on this topic:
Pelvic health and painful sex with Heather Jeffcoat
Stretched out vaginas and other myths with PT Heather Jeffcoat
Tips from my physical therapist
Anna from Mad Hatter Wellness: Sex Ed for all abilities
Tips for talking to a provider about sexual health
Guide to lube
Erectile dissatisfaction vs Erectile dysfunction
Medications and sexual health
SSRi’s and your sex life
The Handy
Intimate Rider
Bumpin Joystick
Sexuality after SCI
Sexuality and Disability
New Mobility: Quest for accessible sex toys
Ohnut rings

ORDER my Book: Permission for Pleasure: Tending Your Sexual Garden
JOIN my Newsletter: Good Education for Good Sex
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Oral sex is a highly reliable path to pleasure and orgasm for women. This episode is the second most downloaded of all episodes on the show. So, I am bringing it back for new listener's and their partner's. I talk about creating anticipation, building arousal toward crescendo and specific tongue techniques to stimulate the clitoris and vulva. Also hear tips on positioning, when to add variety, and when to stick with consistency. Learn the signs of approaching orgasm, to help your partner go over the edge with pleasure.

Mentioned in this episode:
The Kivin Method -Oral Sideways
Make Some Noise
Temperature Play
The Key to Women’s Pleasure
The Clitoris - it’s a network!
The Clitoris has a hood
Female Anatomy 101
She Comes First Book Review
Using Your Senses for Pleasure
Why Arousal Takes More Than 5 Minutes
Men and Sex
Talking about sex with a partner
Communication, Couples and Sex

ORDER my Book: Permission for Pleasure: Tending Your Sexual Garden
JOIN my Newsletter: Good Education for Good Sex
FOLLOW on Instagram @cindyscharkey
VISIT my website and blog

Want to slow down and experience more pleasure in your life? Euphemia Russell, a somatic coach and author of Slow Pleasure shares practical ways to focus on sensations, as well as practices to shift your state towards enlivening. Learn to create pleasure habits and increase your capacity for pleasure in and out of the bedroom.

Euphemia Russell is a somatic coach and bestselling author ofSlow Pleasure. They are trained in somatic coaching, International Coaching Federation, sex-positive education, sexual violence counselling, trauma-informed facilitation, and has a background in Community Cultural Development.

Mentioned in this episode:
Sexual Wellness and Pleasure List with Michal
The Pleasure Crisis with Nan Wise
Learning to Listen to Your Body with Hillary McBride
Connecting With Our Body and Nervous System with Aurora Allen

ORDER my Book: Permission for Pleasure: Tending Your Sexual Garden
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Dr. Candice Nicole Hargons, a leading expert in sex research, shares her list of ingredients for good sex from her book Good Sex: Stories, Science and Strategies for Sexual Liberation. She walks us through strategies to study our sexual satisfaction as well as tools to increase it. Does frequency make the list? Nope? Tune in to learn what does.

Dr. Candice Nicole Hargons is an award-winning associate professor at Emory University’s Rollins School of Public Health and author of Good Sex. As a thought leader, Dr. Hargons continues to shape the conversation around sexual wellness, advocating for liberation and wellness within marginalized communities.

Mentioned in this episode:
How Curiosity Fuels Desire with Emily Jamea
The Rise in Rough Sex with Debby Herbenick
What’s Ruining Sex for Men with Cam Fraser

ORDER my Book: Permission for Pleasure: Tending Your Sexual Garden
JOIN my Newsletter: Good Education for Good Sex
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I’m bringing back conversations with members of our community where they share their stories and we explore what they have learned about their bodies, sex and pleasure. My new friend and poet, Sarah Jeannine Gawthrop, joins me to talk about her journey of pleasure reclamation through the sacred forest and poetry.

Sarah Gawthrop is a queer, neurodiverse poet and editor on the West Coast of Canada. Her writing explores themes of place, identity, and longing, with a focus on how nature shapes our sense of self. When she's not walking in the forest, she's studying Creative Writing or working with PULPmag and ROOM Magazine. Her first poetry collection, Topophilia: A Strong Sense of Place, celebrates our deep connections with people and places. Connect with her on Instagram @sarahjeanninewrites

ORDER my Book: Permission for Pleasure: Tending Your Sexual Garden
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Answering your community questions: “Do I have to swallow?” “Can I get pregnant from pre-cum?” and “Are wet dreams normal?” I’ll also explain the difference between semen and sperm, why a cum cloth is a good idea and the pregnancy rate with the pull-out method. 

Mentioned in this episode:
Can I get pregnant from pre-cum?
Can men be multi-orgasmic?
Do women ejaculate? What is squirting?
Cum cloth: Play Towel by Coconu use code 30PLEASURE

ORDER my Book: Permission for Pleasure: Tending Your Sexual Garden
JOIN my Newsletter: Good Education for Good Sex
FOLLOW on Instagram @cindyscharkey
VISIT my website and blog