Cam Fraser, a therapist and licensed sex coach says the script men learn: “Get it up. Get it in. Get it off.” is ruining sex lives. He shares his story and the ways he learned to reframe his own approach to pleasure. We discuss the sex ed men and their partners need to get out of the box that says sex has to look a certain way and to move toward more fulfilling intimacy. 

Learn more about Cam's work

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Learn more about these topics:
Guide to Lube
Desire Styles
Boys & Sex Book Review
Erectile Dissatisfaction vs Erectile Dysfunction

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Have you ever felt broken when it comes to your sex life? Urologist and sex expert Kelly Casperson, MD joins me to talk about her book You’re Not Broken: Stop “Should-ing” All Over Your Sex Life. We discuss what bad sex looks like, why sometimes ‘good enough’ sex is fantastic and how self-cultivation enhances your sexual health. I also asked Dr. Casperson her top tips for preventing UTIs (find them at 27:53).

Learn more about Dr. Kelly Casperson

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More on these topics
Book review: The Body is Not an Apology
Learning to Listen to Your Body
Date Your Body
Why don’t I want sex as much as my partner (Desire styles)
Guide to lube

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Answering your orgasm questions in this episode, including: Are all orgasms the same? Is it normal for some orgasms to be more intense than others? My orgasms have changed as I’ve gotten older, am I normal? Why is it so much easier for me to orgasm by myself, than with a partner? Can I orgasm from stimulation to my clitoral hood? What can I do to make orgasm easier?

More on this topic:
How can I orgasm easier?
Let’s Talk Orgasms
The Key to Female Pleasure
Clitoral Hood
Reclaim Your Arousal Mindset
Edging
Why Vibrators Work For Women
Pelvic Floor Health
Medications and your sexual health
SSRI's and your sex life
Talking with a provider about sexual health

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Your brain is wired for pleasure! My conversation with Dr. Nan Wise continues as she shares her research about how your brain benefits from orgasm and pleasure and how even thinking about pleasurable stimulation lights up your brain like a Christmas tree! As she emphatically says, “Orgasm is a big brain event!” She also teaches how to lay down pleasure pathways to help those who find it difficult to orgasm. Learn about your brain-body connections and how the more you pay attention to the sensations you feel, the more you can dial them up for more pleasure.

Dr. Nan Wise is a certified sex therapist, relationship specialist, neuroscience researcher, and author of Why Good Sex Matters: Understanding the Neuroscience of Pleasure for a Smarter, Happier, and More Purpose-Filled Life.
Learn more about Dr. Nan Wise

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Learn more on these topics:
Exploring your perspective of pleasure
Why vibrators work for women and how to choose one
Natural health benefits of orgasm
The sexual accelerator and brake in the brain
Sex on the brain

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Our society has a love/hate relationship with pleasure. More people than ever are experiencing anhedonia, the reduced ability to experience pleasure. Dr. Nan Wise, neuroscience researcher, certified sex therapist and author of Why Good Sex Matters, joins me to discuss why pleasure is a necessity for a balanced emotional brain. She walks us through the seven core emotional systems that give us feedback about what feels good and what is good for us. Dr. Nan expounds on how our brain is the command center for sex and a generator of pleasure. Learn more about your wired-in pleasure system and why good sex matters.

Dr. Nan Wise is a certified sex therapist, relationship specialist, neuroscience researcher, and author of Why Good Sex Matters: Understanding the Neuroscience of Pleasure for a Smarter, Happier, and More Purpose-Filled Life.
Learn more about Dr. Nan Wise

Visit our episode sponsor Uberlube and use code CINDY for 15% off

Learn more about these topics:
The Growing Mental Health Crisis of Our Girls
Dating Your Body
Learning to Listen to Your Body
Sex on the Brain

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WeNatal caught my attention with their holistic approach to fertility. Instead of the usual focus on me - the woman, they widen it to we - and include the partner. They bring men into the fertility equation. Founders Vida Delrahim and Ronit Menashe join me to talk about the importance of preconception care, healthy practices, gratitude and a more well rounded focus for couples in the fertility season. They share their story of miscarriage, friendship and the community they are building to support families on the fertility journey.

Learn more about WeNatal
WeNatal free preconception guide

Learn more about these topics

Sex, Postpartum and Breastfeeding
Sex and Pregnancy
Intimacy During Infertility or After Miscarriage
Tips for a Better Bedroom
Sex after baby

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Lifted Missionary, Chair Sex, or Sex in Heels. As Esther Perel says, “Creativity is where eroticism lives.” In this quickie episode I am highlighting three positions that make use of pillows or props. Try something new and get a little creative with these positions for more comfort, fun and erotic pleasure.

Learn more about these topics:
Pleasure Techniques Ep. 41
Pleasure Techniques on the Blog
G-spot
The Clitoris - It's a Whole Network
Sex on the Brain
Foreplay Ideas
Ten Tips to Sexify Your Bedroom
When Your Partner Wants to Try Something New

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Our girls are struggling more than boys. Why? Did you know that 1 out of every 4 teen girls has symptoms of major depression? This is compared with fewer than 1 in 10 boys. Girls are also twice as likely as boys to suffer from anxiety. We have a crisis on our hands. Award-winning journalist, Donna Jackson Nakazawa, joins me to discuss the topic. We talk about how the toxic stressors of social media and our culture are uniquely affecting girls' mental health. We share action steps from Donna’s book, Girls on the Brink, that you can use to help the girl in your life thrive - not just survive!

Donna Jackson Nakazawa is the author of Girls on the Brink as well as four books that explore the intersection of neuroscience, immunology, and emotion, including The Angel and the Assassin and Childhood Disrupted.  

Learn more about these topics

Learning to Listen to Your Body
Book Review: Girls and Sex, Boys and Sex
Book Review: Mothers Daughters and Body Image
Book Review: The Body Is Not An Apology
Blog: Parent-Child Journal
Coloring Book For Girls

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I invited Sheila Gregoire back to break down what women actually want from their male partners in bed. Sharing excerpts from her book, The Good Guy’s Guide to Great Sex, we debunk myths about the magic penis, mental load, foreplay, female arousal, and orgasm. Learn some practical ideas for increased pleasure and better sex!

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Learn more about Sheila's work

More on these topics
Ep 29 on arousal with Sheila
Sexual Scripts
Mental Load
Foreplay
Female Arousal
The Clitoris
Pleasure Techniques
Questions about orgasm
Mindfulness
Pleasure practice

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Welcome to Season Three! Whether you are a new listener, or have been here since the beginning - thank you for being part of this community. On this podcast we have conversations about sexual health and pleasure. Episodes include everything from interviews with experts to hearing from members of this community. This show is constantly evolving as I prioritize the topics you most want to hear about. My hope is that this community will help you to open healthy conversations and give yourself permission for pleasure.

ORDER my Book Permission for Pleasure: Tending Your Sexual Garden
JOIN my Newsletter: Good Education for Good Sex
FOLLOW on Instagram @cindyscharkey
VISIT my website and blog