Are you kinky? Nobody but you can answer that question, and nobody but you can decide what it means. There's no board of kink that issues certificates, no licensing board that decides what you can and can't do based on your "kink" status. 

In this episode we talk about ways you can explore this question for yourself. And some of the things to think about along the way - practical, psychological, and relational.

Get my free top 5 relationship guides at ListenToJoli.com for easy to implement conversations that will help you create the love you really want.

Get the book Project Relationship

Learn about Joli and how to work with her

If you want to stay up to date on all of Joli's work be sure to join the Project Relationship mailing list

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How did we get where we are? What stories do we tell each other (and ourselves) about the decisions that got us here? In this episode we dig into how the way we remember and tell our stories affects the way we view our relationships, and our partners.

Here's the graphic on cognitive bias I mentioned.

Watch the video version of this episode on YouTube

Get my free top 5 relationship guides at ListenToJoli.com for easy to implement conversations that will help you create the love you really want.

Get the book Project Relationship

Learn about Joli and how to work with her

If you want to stay up to date on all of Joli's work be sure to join the Project Relationship mailing list

How satisfied are we in our relationships? How satisfied can we be? How do we decide? When we make explicit agreements with our partners, we can start to see clearly how well our relationships serve us. The more we know about our values and our partners' values, the easier it is to make effective explicit agreements, which is what this episode is about. We share experiences with our relationship agreements, and talk about some of the tools we use to help us craft them.

Here is the exercise and list of values Joli mentioned.

Also here is a quick link to available values lists on Google.

Strugging with what your relationship is for? Check out "Getting What You Need", Chapter 7 of the book Project Relationship, which has exercises to help you. It's part of my free top 5 relationship guides at ListenToJoli.com. It also includes easy to implement conversations that will help you create the love you really want.

Get the book Project Relationship

Learn about Joli and how to work with her

If you want to stay up to date on all of Joli's work be sure to join the Project Relationship mailing list

Watch the video version of this episode on YouTube

How do we navigate those times in our relationships when trust has been violated? How can we respond in ways that increase the chance of reconnection? Are there ways to avoid situations that cause trust troubles? In this episode we talk about some of our experiences building and rebuilding trust, and share some strategies for navigating trust issues.

Get my free top 5 relationship guides at ListenToJoli.com for easy to implement conversations that will help you create the love you really want.

Get the book Project Relationship

Learn about Joli and how to work with her

If you want to stay up to date on all of Joli's work be sure to join the Project Relationship mailing list

Watch the video version of this episode on YouTube

Have you noticed any patterns in your relationship that play out over and over again? Are there things you do, ways you behave, that leave you in the same ouchy situation every time, but you still keep doing them? Well, that happens to us, and in this episode we talk about how those patterns show up and play out for us, and we share some strategies for interrupting those patterns.

Watch the video version of this episode on YouTube

Get my free top 5 relationship guides at ListenToJoli.com for easy to implement conversations that will help you create the love you really want.

Get the book Project Relationship

Learn about Joli and how to work with her

If you want to stay up to date on all of Joli's work be sure to join the Project Relationship mailing list

How do you feel when you get an apology? How about when you offer one? When we hurt each other, how we handle it can strengthen or weaken our relationship, with each other and with ourselves.

Watch the video version of this episode on YouTube

Get my free top 5 relationship guides at ListenToJoli.com for easy to implement conversations that will help you create the love you really want.

Get the book Project Relationship

Learn about Joli and how to work with her

If you want to stay up to date on all of Joli's work be sure to join the Project Relationship mailing list

Have you ever had life throw something spectacular at you that inspired (or required) you to grow and change? That can happen, surprising us out of the blue. It can also be something we plan into our lives. In this episode we talk about how we can do that, choosing to use our relationship as the workshop for becoming more ourselves.

Watch the video version of this episode on YouTube

Get my free top 5 relationship guides at ListenToJoli.com for easy to implement conversations that will help you create the love you really want.

Get the book Project Relationship

Learn about Joli and how to work with her

If you want to stay up to date on all of Joli's work be sure to join the Project Relationship mailing list

Long term fun? Sign me up! In this episode we talk about generating fun in the context of a relationship. We share some ideas about what could be fun, some thoughts about things that get in the way, and how we can learn from that and bring ourselves more satisfaction.

Watch the video version of this episode on YouTube

Get my free top 5 relationship guides at ListenToJoli.com for easy to implement conversations that will help you create the love you really want.

Get the book Project Relationship

Learn about Joli and how to work with her

If you want to stay up to date on all of Joli's work be sure to join the Project Relationship mailing list

What do you do when you have the hots for someone unavailable? In this episode we talk about ways to approach the feelings that come up with unrequited attraction.

Watch the video version of this episode on YouTube

Get my free top 5 relationship guides at ListenToJoli.com for easy to implement conversations that will help you create the love you really want.

Get the book Project Relationship

Learn about Joli and how to work with her

If you want to stay up to date on all of Joli's work be sure to join the Project Relationship mailing list

Can anxiety can be an opportunity? Consensual non-monogamy is not simple, and it can lead to anxiety. In this episode we talk about how that anxiety can be an opportunity and a guide to learn more about ourselves and our relationships.

Watch the video version of this episode on YouTube

Get my free top 5 relationship guides at ListenToJoli.com for easy to implement conversations that will help you create the love you really want.

Get the book Project Relationship

Learn about Joli and how to work with her

If you want to stay up to date on all of Joli's work be sure to join the Project Relationship mailing list