What if we want to show affection without being sexual? In this episode we talk about some of our experiences with difficulties that can come up around expressing and engaging in intimacy outside sexual relationships.

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It sounds kind of weird, but monogamy isn’t necessarily the opposite of non-monogamy. In this episode we talk about how we decide what the boundaries of our relationships are, and share some ideas about how we can stretch our imaginations to bring more of what we want into those relationships.

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Get my free top 5 relationship guides at ListenToJoli.com for easy to implement conversations that will help you create the love you really want.

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Talking with your kids about your relationships as a parent can be really beneficial for all of you, but it does take some care and attention. In this episode we talk about our experiences talking with our kids over the years about our consensual non-monogamy, sharing the problems and the benefits of those conversations.

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Get my free top 5 relationship guides at ListenToJoli.com for easy to implement conversations that will help you create the love you really want.

Get the book Project Relationship

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If you want to stay up to date on all of Joli's work be sure to join the Project Relationship mailing list

Are you married to your best friend? Do you have several best friends? Do you have friends that aren't best? In this episode we're talking about the nature of adult friendships, about the skills of friendship, and we're asking a lot of questions.

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Get my free top 5 relationship guides at ListenToJoli.com for easy to implement conversations that will help you create the love you really want.

Get the book Project Relationship

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The many marriages model has helped us manage to stay both committed and independent over the long term. In this episode we are talking about what happens when a marriage goes through inevitable change, because change is the only guarantee we get in life. So, when change shows up, what do you do?  Do you resist and try to keep your marriage as it always has been or do you transition with grace? 

Once again, rituals can facilitate strong, growth-oriented transitions. Check out chapter 12 in Project Relationship for an easy template to create a ritual that will help you make the most of change in your love life: Get the book Project Relationship.

One of the tools we suggest is learning to tolerate ambiguity because there are big gains to be made when we can do that. Here's an article from Ness Labs that explains the theory https://nesslabs.com/ambiguity-effect

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What makes for well-done casual play? In this episode we're talking about practical considerations for hosting or attending a sex party. How do we set up a safe place for people to share erotic play? How do we make sure consent is part of everything all the time? What should we do to normalize sharing STI information? What about exit strategies, safe words, logistics, ground rules? If everyone can safely pursue pleasure and we all take care of each other, we have the best chance of connecting to people and making happy, sexy memories.

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No matter how good your sex life is, we're all growing, changing critters in a dynamic world. So something will change and we'll want to adapt so we can have the best sex we can. In this episode we're talking about how to make sex better by sharing feedback about our sexual experiences.

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Envy is kind of like a feeling of want, except that it totally bites. In this episode we are digging into envy: how it can get in the way of our relationships and leave us feeling totally worthless at times. But we can use some of the same tools we use for jealousy to notice it's there and help us through it to a better understanding of ourselves.

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Do you want to give gifts that inspire feelings of love and pleasure? In this episode we're talking about focusing on the feelings we create and understanding our people, so we know what and how they like to receive gifts. Gary Chapman's Five Love Languages can be a useful model for helping us understand ourselves and each other, and the more we talk to each other and collaborate on designing the celebrations we want, the more likely we are to get them.

Take the free, quick love languages quiz on Gary Chapman's site

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There are lots of disruptors to sex - kids, grief, burnout, pandemics... In this episode we're talking about ways to get the hotness back, or keep things hot, or make them even hotter. And how to decide when it's time to ask for help - from books, podcasts, and best of all humans.

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