PsycHacks

I was recently inspired to begin a series on what seems to me to be socially neglected attributes of love. My model for love is spiritual, and -- assuming a omnibenevolent Higher Power -- I try to understand what love is by observing the Divine's relationship with the created universe. Assuming this framework takes us far away from the comfortable, fuzzy feelings that dominate the social conception of love. In this episode, I'll discuss one aspect of that observed relationship, namely: order. Order, as the fundamental attribute that makes life and prosperity possible, must be an essential component of love.

#love #spritual #order

This is an episode for women trying to use online dating apps to enter into relationships with men. Pre-screening is when the woman takes control of the courtship and attempts to further qualify the man after he asks her out on a date. While this is almost certainly done by women out of a desire not to waste their time, my argument is that pre-screening is not a good idea, as it generally does not achieve the women's desired outcome. There are three reasons why this is the case, as I discuss in this episode.

#dating #relationship #datingadvice

I often hear women on the dating market speak of their difficulties in finding a man interested in a committed, long-term relationship. In this episode, I will explain why that might be the case. To the extent that the purpose of dating is to enter into such a relationship, modern dating doesn't work. And that is because the privileges given to and the responsibilities expected of men are not allocated properly over the course of a relationship to incentivize his commitment. Until this is addressed, women will be fighting an uphill battle.

"Men want to be alone": https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Q9blas1Xtoc

#commitment #relationship #dating

This one is for the ladies. In this episode, I'll explain how you may be inadvertently messing up with the men you actually want to keep in your life. Most women punish the men they like, and this behavior can drive away the ones you want to stay. Absenting an explicit commitment to the contrary, if a certain behavior wouldn't bother you coming from a man you could take or leave, you shouldn't let it bother you coming from a man you really like. This doesn't mean putting up with bad behavior. It means that the definition of bad behavior doesn't change depending on your feelings.

#dating #relationship #attraction

Much has been said of late on men's attraction to younger women, and much of this has been said before. Men are visual creatures; men are expressing a preference; men are using beauty as a signal for fertility, etc. You already know these reasons, so this episode does not discuss them. This episode discusses another reason men are attracted to younger women: a reason so obvious that it almost never gets talked about (though it's staring us all in the face).

#dating #attraction #men

This episode is a continuation of a previous episode, entitled "Women have more options in the sexual marketplace." In that episode, I mentioned how the modern optionality of women down at the docks solves some problems and creates others. This episode will be devoted to examining the biggest problem created by this optionality: the two body problem. What happens when two captains enter into a relationship? The outcome is fairly predictable.

#dating #relationship #sex

In a short responding to a comment to my episode, "What is the sexual marketplace?", I noted in passing that women have more options in the sexual marketplace. I'll explain why this is true in this episode. In short, women today are supported, encouraged, and incentivized to become captains themselves. This means that women have two options available to them when they go down to the docks: they can build a boat or they can enlist as a passenger. Men, however, still only have one real option. The consequences of this situation are far-reaching and will be discussed in future episodes.

#dating #relationship #sex

This has been my single most important realization with respect to dating and relationships, as it helped me understand much about the process that would otherwise have remained painful and incomprehensible. Women treat men the way men treat jobs. Women enter into relationships with men who they believe can offer them the best opportunity to further their goals, all other things being equal, and they will lateral to another relationship if another man can entice them with a more compelling offer. I expand on the analogy throughout the episode.

#dating #relationship #attraction

The mastery of life boils down to one thing: the ability to be in the world, but not of the world. This is extremely easy to say and extraordinarily difficult to do. It means to participate fully in one's life and to cultivate the good that is possible, while remaining completely non-attached to one's life and prepared to surrender the cultivated good, as needed. This is a sign of spiritual mastery and model of being to which we can all aspire.

#master #spritual #life

Masculinity and femininity are concepts that demand definition. In my personal opinion, both are attributes of the soul that are correlated to (but not coincident with) biological sex. As such, both men and women possess masculine and feminine aspects, and some folks are high (or low) in both. Like many other topics, the present one reminds us that people are complex, and that we shouldn't work too hard to restrict our thinking to "all-or-nothing," dichotomous poles.

#masculinity #femininity #gender