The fundamental law of attraction is very straightforward. In fact, it's so obvious that many people just gloss over it. Are you ready? The fundamental law is: people want what they want, not what wants them. And this comes with a few important corollaries. Most notable among them is the fact that you can't make someone want you more by wanting them more. However, you might be able to make someone want you more by wanting them less. I'll discuss further in this episode.

The Zen master Charlotte Joko Beck talks about the empty canoe in her book, "Everyday Zen." It's a simple metaphor that reveals a profound truth about the human experience of anger: it requires the imputation of agency in order to flourish. If you remove the imputation of agency -- picture an empty canoe drifting mysteriously through the fog -- then the experience of anger will vanish shortly thereafter. If the universe is empty, why populate it with the ingredients of our own frustration? 

Imagine an elementary school bully: a big, dopey boy that picks on other kids using the threat of violence. Do you think that one day that bully will wake up and say to himself: "you know, I've made some good money from this gig, but I don't think I need to do this anymore. I have enough lunch money"? That will never, ever, ever happen. You cannot comply your way out of bullying. And it's always easier to stand up for yourself in a relationship sooner as opposed to later.

When I was younger, I used to believe that my mind was a laboratory sealed off from the rest of the world. As long as I didn't speak or act on my thoughts, I believed that I was at liberty to think whatever I wanted within the privacy of my own mind. However, I've come to understand that thoughts aren't nearly as private as I believed. In this episode, I'll discuss two ways our thoughts tend to betray ourselves to others inadvertently. To improve your communication and relationships, it's important to learn to control your mind.

Many of you are probably aware that in several Romance languages the verb "esperar" means both "to hope" and "to wait" -- which always seemed a bit odd to me. However, the more I thought about it, the more I realized that the two concepts have more in common than first appears. In this episode, I'll discuss how all real hoping involves waiting, but not all waiting involves real hoping. If you're not waiting in the right place, then any hope you may feel is unjustified -- irrespective of what you might be telling yourself. Make sure you're standing in the right line.

Right now, I'm playing through the surprising excellent "Guardians of the Galaxy" video game for the PlayStation 5. Among all of the first rate performances, I've been particularly charmed by Jason Cavalier's portrayal of Drax the Destroyer. In this pop psychology episode of PsycHacks, I'm going to offer a brief character analysis of Drax, focusing on two of his more admirable traits: his relationship to challenge and his attitude toward death. Check the game out for yourself and let me know what you think.

I experience anger as a voice in my head that tells me things. And those things that it tells me are lies. Anger is a deceiver. It offers the feeling of power in exchange for my self-control -- which actually renders me powerless in the face of my provoker. Anger is a useful servant, but a terrible master. The trick is to learn to yoke the power of anger to constructive, intentional action. Do this and even great achievements are possible.

The title of this episode is the last line in a poem by Percy Shelley, called "Ode to the West Wind." The question is obviously rhetorical, as Spring has followed Winter as an inevitability since the dawn of time. I like to keep this line in mind when I'm moving through challenging times. The darker it gets, the closer I approach the return of the light. There is no need for fear or panic: when Winter comes, Spring is never far behind.

What is love? I've developed my own unique answer to this question. I call it my parts of speech model of love, and I'd like share it with you today. Basically, with greater awareness and understanding, the nature of love evolves: from noun to verb to adverb. In this episode, I'll briefly discuss each stage, emphasizing the characteristics of its highest form: adverbial love. Happy Valentine's Day!

One of my all-time favorite writers is Haruki Murakami, and my personal favorite among his many excellent works is the imaginative and underrated "Hard-Boiled Wonderland and the End of the World." In this book is a fantastic line, which just so happens to be the title of this episode: a good craftsman has one scar. Why might this be the case? In this episode, I'll break down the surprising wisdom contained within such a simple phrase.