Recovered Podcast

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The Big Book

The 12 and 12

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The Big Book

The 12 and 12

24 Hours a Day

This topic was suggested by a beloved listener
Our listener wrote:
I request a recovery topic to be:
Having to "be there" -
I relish the fact that sobriety means being present -
for my mother's death, for my partner, for my friends, for my work -
but sometimes I still just really want to get out of my head, cut loose, forget myself, sign out.
Is this drunk thinking, or might there be safe ways of approximating this (books, music, film?)

This is what we will discuss tonight, how do we battle recovery fatigue

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But first, let’s find out what our listeners are thinking on this topic:

Survey
https://www.surveymonkey.com/analyze/3YuBx_2Fr5Pxh8Tvl5KsANUeqH1wGUHUBLbdWTNob9zzQ_3D

What did first think of when you heard about this topic?

Do you have recovery fatigue?
How do you stay fresh when you start to feel the toll of being there all the time?
What have you done when your program seems tired and worn out, what have you done to reinvigorate your program.?

Do you ever escape?
What do you do to take care of yourself?
Is this healthy?
Can escape ever be done in a healthy way?

Have you ever felt resentful about having to be there?
How does guilt affect you?
What are boundaries and how do they help?

Do you have fun in recovery?
How do you have fun in recovery?
How do you have fun outside of recovery?
Why do you think there is so much laughter in our fellowship?

Do you always have to be there?
Why?

What would you say to the person who requested this topic?

Phone Calls
Alex from Austin
https://www.google.com/voice/fm/00557165274674955804/AHwOX_ADjLqBCRC6o0qJyC2HJHzOipGcUCNnAqHs0M-6Fap3MVyvUusZlfK2HcZwlfws_M8bmqDkX9QFp3sh5YnfWTsUIaRiBEtmfchtsuCXEQ1RuXR9zNBuccgFEHbSZGCO5u0fJ5yS3sQdILqEBzFHINmEm8NbWg

Talia
https://www.speakpipe.com/messages

Hannah
https://www.speakpipe.com/messages

Adrianna
https://www.google.com/voice/fm/00557165274674955804/AHwOX_An6LxclZT9ZwevPamwVBsVBa6v0RJ_aCTydHnSbu8M2SU-9qd3lH5VJni3GcBQVKjyrXOs1UkHOA4zqrUy8fsASWz4kce5F98EvIirbT9DQMO3Fskshs8342uUO0-WMS0vqcL06pajcfNQBCfM7Q-fDFZktg

Clyde
https://www.google.com/voice/fm/00557165274674955804/AHwOX_BSkTG_Xg_beO8pQvTF4ZtX1EQ06vzgB40YK5YEQzod5W18rE4_kkxhGXAE2O0RGb0ELz--5mZrDf2kmnoePWjJUxpM9oF-6wppPS4PbsCtUHMIWIpda3zjaG4dJD326ULftA4DqJ708TVC_pEyG4X2rpdLHQ

What would you say to the new guy?

Tonight, the topic is
Appreciation, Value, and Self Worth

To get the show started I have a clip and a survey on tonight’s topic.
First the clip

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ba0ZUgtaMd8

I asked our listeners to tell us what they appreciate most in recovery, and here are the results.

Survey
https://www.surveymonkey.com/analyze/ofTuOFSPvwbJWECaT0gmFLu_2FoTEUsSSQbOT0pOW7oyY_3D

When I was in my disease almost everything was disposable, including my relationship with my sons and wife. I couldn’t stop using, my disease was demanding all my attention. I could not recognize nor appreciate the value in relationships. It was impossible to value simple things like a sunrise. At the end, holding a job or having money in our bank account could not be appreciated, my disease was everything.

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Chrissy, let’s start with you
What were your first thoughts when you came up with this topic?

Before program, what did you give away?
Why didn’t you value the thing that you gave away?
Today, do you appreciate the thing that you lost?
Have you tried to get that thing back?
Is there a grieving process?

Do you value different things today?
What do you value today?
How do you show your appreciation for these things?
Other than drugs and alcohol, what do you value less today than before program?

How does depression affect your ability to appreciate things?
How do you fight depression?

Did your disease take your dignity?
How was this lost?
How has the program (steps, prayers, service, sponsor, higher power) helped?
How has the program (steps, prayers, service, sponsor, higher power) helped with self esteem and self worth?

Guilt is a powerful and dangerous emotion. What do you do if you don’t yet believe that you have self worth?

Is it possible to value things/people if you don’t value yourself?

If you feel disposable, is everything in your path is disposable?

We have Calls
https://www.google.com/voice/fm/00557165274674955804/AHwOX_DJEppMChCXlA84fHQ5BICH7h8ut-_EQJPmoPokn0G8MDs1HpOBZwmNhZGdBfHBFFwAOhYf1VPGIn_7PcOo_Z5Pw_R4T00d7fJ7fRnei5pyI7f7keQDmQ3Hlr82wIwKGMONYrdQh51OH7Cj2Q2u9PsVPRgYFg

Mystery
https://www.google.com/voice/fm/00557165274674955804/AHwOX_BQ9Ds-wKEkikqSjozapz0mVQNWg5Qg_zonJr13aecvU1-ACRxwXtbus7rWyCISEwedlYPCEmgoE63YccaR-tf2GTJFky-mbmHwfsqmIwW7kuH0EWDITWhclke7P3xpwrr0wiwBWrlO1e1nO5DyxTWDXWrpOA

Mike
https://www.google.com/voice/fm/00557165274674955804/AHwOX_CWrnjHK7TMTZo8tJkuUO7zMBLtlXaMJcg_T64fq0MfX2RxcRBAjRBzscajF2sPjKeBK-Go1k9U2MUDKyUo5oKBiX-ZGsavChg405aVlGcTExMAY70gecIaDyzgWpmB1meOyyVTQTRJIF9rpkP0enlWjaBP9g

Buddy
https://www.google.com/voice/fm/00557165274674955804/AHwOX_CWrnjHK7TMTZo8tJkuUO7zMBLtlXaMJcg_T64fq0MfX2RxcRBAjRBzscajF2sPjKeBK-Go1k9U2MUDKyUo5oKBiX-ZGsavChg405aVlGcTExMAY70gecIaDyzgWpmB1meOyyVTQTRJIF9rpkP0enlWjaBP9g

What would you say to the new guy?

Today, we have author and poet Jeff Vande Zande with us in the studio
Welcome to the Recovered Podcast studio.

Jeff, I’m going to have Anna introduce you to our listeners.
Anna take it from here

Introduction
Jeff Vande Zande teaches fiction and screenwriting at Delta College. His books include the novel Into the Desperate Country , the novel Landscape with Fragmented Figures and Threatened Species and Other Stories. His novel American Poet won a Michigan Notable Book Award from the Library of Michigan. In May of 2016, Jeff’s most recent novel was released, Detroit Muscle, which was influenced by Vande Zande’s screenwriting knowledge. He maintains a website at

jeffvandezande.com

That link will be in the show notes

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Jeff welcome to the Recovered Studio

In preparation for this interview, Jeff, I asked our audience about whether they ever wanted to be a writer like you. Guess what percentage of our audience have literary aspirations.

https://www.surveymonkey.com/analyze/SNWwnxkqRtM6hnOeGeB3lWE_2FMFah_2F3L3HNY5hcwPJcA_3D

As you know Jeff, the Recovered Podcast is intended to be a support for those of us in 12-step recovery program.

Do you know anyone who had struggled with addiction?
Are you in recovery?

Your new book is Titled “Detroit Muscle”.

Here is a brief summary of your book, Jeff.
The main character Robby Cooper is an addict just out of rehab, Robby has debts to pay
Robby has a pregnant ex-girlfriend.
Robby is like everyone in early recovery, he has problems.

During this stage of Robby’s early recovery, his grandfather Otto invites him on a fly fishing road trip to northern Michigan.
Robby begins to understand how his family’s dysfunction spans generations…
Jeff, I think the question is, can Robby break this cycle?

Jeff, this book is ultimately a book of hope which sets it apart from other fiction recovery novels I have read.

Anna says, “Why did you write the book?”

But tell us about your characters, the setting you chose, and most interestingly, the literary style you designed.

You are a poet, and that is evident in the novel. I’d like to read a portion…. (the part about Robby’s feet planted in the stream bed and the description up his body to the fish at the end of the line. Trust me, I’ll have the text in front of me).
Tell us about this short poem.

Do we ever know how old Robbie is?

Robby drinks in the story, why?
Why does Robby keep his drug of choice with him?

Robby’s mom is classic codependent, was this intentional?

What is the point of the woman at the cemetery with the other mourners and Robbie talking on the phone with Tiffany?

Tell us about Robby’s dad and his Dad’s brothers.

Interesting That Robbie's dad, the good one according to grandpa Otto, is the one that committed suicide.

The two uncles are so different, yet agree about their father Otto, tell us more about these characters.

The fishing destination Grand Marais, Michigan?
What is the significance of this location?

Your description of the local landscape was meticulous. You even got the details on the Mackinaw Bridge right in regards to the center lanes being steel grating. Tell us more about your home state.

The act of Robby making amends is a big part of the beginning of the book. What do you know about the 9th step of recovery?

Many say the amends step is the most difficult step in recovery, tell us about Robby’s experience of making amends.

Why was it important for Robby to make these amends?

Looks like Otto's apology is more about hearing them forgive him than truly apologizing. P 142

There is a saying in recovery to “Do the next right thing.” It seems to me that Robby is living this code. What are your thoughts, does this work for Robby?

Interesting, the similarities between Robby’s and Otto’s addictions, such as the well-meaning promises as well as the broken promises.

Who does Robby represent?
Who does Otto represent?

Robby’s life is bleak. Is there hope for Robby, why?
Is there hope for Michigan?

In the final pages Robby looks over his list and folds it and puts it away. He is checking things off his amends list. He reminded me of my name is Earl, the TV show. Do you remember it? Did you ever see it?

When is the next Robby Cooper novel coming out?
This has to happen.

Advice
What was the #1 thing that has held you back in your writing career?
What is the best advice you ever received about writing?
What is something that is working in your creative life right now?
What is the best book you have read on recovery?

This podcast is about Hope
What would you say to the new guy about recovery?

Jeff, thanks for joining us in the studio

When I first came in, I could hardly understand you people and the type of language you used.

If you hang around long enough, you’ll figure out most of the recovery language, the recovery slang, the recovery lingo, but why wait? We will talk about our favorite AA terms and phrases, coupled with their occasionally comic double meanings.

When you were new, did the language used in the fellowship confuse you?
What are some of you favorite recovery words and phrases?

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Hey Man, it’s my birthday
Birthday
Old-Timer
Inventory
Spiritual awakening
Character defects
Codependent
Alanon
alano
Sponsor
amends
Time
Take a cake
Out
Think (Think, Think)
Drug of Choice
Use
Last Drunk
Acceptance
Big Book
Bill W
Akron
Founders day
March roundup
Micky paw
Craving
silkworth
Denial
Detox
Fellowship
Geographical Cure
Preamble
How It Works
The A B Cs
Program
Recovery
Rehab
Sponsor
Terminally Unique
Twelve & Twelve
A closed meeting
An open meeting
The Program
The Steps
The Traditions
ODAAT
A chip, token, coin
A sponsor
A sponsee
HP
A Slip
A dry drunk
A spiritual awakening
12 step work
Service
A home-group
A group conscience
A belly-button birthday
Not my monkeys, not my circus

We Have Calls

HOE-Con
https://www.speakpipe.com/messages

Publo
https://www.google.com/voice/fm/00557165274674955804/AHwOX_D_QDbfYvVZCncUoZXG6o9GqX9ezicZZQszvMiEPBSnkud02IO5n_A5YAXKyE-6H3ud8RQmgGlLc5AsJkLf5ESOkTnoUxVrHBW5ajGaQHlXUezsF5zXzWbDJ7a06XpIVD087e1v8ivq-sOomoGHQHUt2dm1Kw

Alex from Austin
https://www.google.com/voice/fm/00557165274674955804/AHwOX_DWwseoINqblVT0AB1Ad3sRzG9w8wbxfl23FUZWT07c_mZOi_xbGcGCRJo5B-Vt6MrBkZEYRy5EMTQ-7YFbvtPunPgg_1UbUAr42ZMiOaIZBch95fIeHNh1x1moSI4A10xFW4dGl-cwLtJcQdGcDFLnACYn1w

Clyde
https://www.google.com/voice/fm/00557165274674955804/AHwOX_DARDJlh62RbybyEk97D48jVSUlXI__DYydBfYONageDAwpEg2GjWUaWvR6r3Cutazdk-rxHIWxouAl3Dcn6czY55batea7VFqSQjj9F85K1xwwFY9gP3G8UI348YpsmBizZwc_gGgsBzlHE5f--IOMG1sXOg

What would you say to the new guy?

Kayla, today we will do the Recovered Podcast a little different. Kayla is a regular host on the Recovered Podcast, but today I want our listeners to know you Kayla in a more complete way. I want our listeners who happen to be young students to be inspired by your story.

So, today Kayla, I want you to share with our listeners your story.

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Let’s start at the beginning Kayla
Where were you born, tell us your early story

When did you first drink
When did you first drug
What was that like?

How did your disease progress?
How did that affect your school?
How did it affect your goals
How did it affect your choice of friends?
How did it affect your relationship with your parents?

When did you know you had a problem?
How did your disease manifest itself?

How did you end up in your first 12-step recovery meeting?
Describe your first meeting??

But today, you are a student at Wayne State University, what are you studying?

Tell us about Students for Recovery.
What are some of the challenges to the student in recovery?
Some challenges include
stigma
pressure to use
hostile environment
stress
Isolation from off-campus support

What are barriers to success?
What are positive signs on campus for the student in recovery?
What supports are available?
Where do students go for support?
What kind of meeting should a student look for?
What if these types of meetings are not available?
What about time, aren’t students too busy for recovery activities?
Being the youngest in the group, is this a special challenge?
What about dating, what are your suggestions?
How about sponsorship? Any guidelines?
What is the experience with parents when they find out their student is in recovery?
In 2007, 10% of AA is less than 30 years old, do you think this has changed? Why or why not?
Don’t all students drink and do drugs, how does someone know they have a problem?
For the student, what are some red flags which indicate possible addiction?

What was the #1 thing that has held you back in your recovery life?
What is the best recovery advice you ever received?
What is something that is working for your recovery life right now?
Other than the Big Book and the 12 and 12, what is the best recovery book you have read?

I would like to hear you guys talk about Single people & addiction - I'm not single any more, but I was for my first three months of sobriety and that too was terrifying.
Single life is more social and alcohol-fuelled, and I found that there can be loneliness and isolation -

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What are some of the challenges/pressures with being single in recovery?
What are some of the benefits of being single in recovery?

How can a sponsor help for the person who is single and in recovery?
What should a single person look for in a sponsor?

What is 13th stepping?
What are the Barriers for the single person to have fun in recovery?

What about the suggestion to no relationship during the first year?

What are your experiences with dating people in program?
What are your experiences with dating people outside the program?
What are your experiences with dating people who should be in the program?

What is codependency and what does that mean to the single person?
How do you get to know yourself and what your interests are? How does being single help?

Does being single in recovery help focusing on recovery? Why is this important?

How does being single affect relationships with other people of your own sex?

How does being single affect your free time?

We Have Calls

Alex from Austin
https://www.google.com/voice/fm/00557165274674955804/AHwOX_DjG5PRi9hTmphuuGedzxThqdZelR7i_LxXrM4j3NY1V9tBJS7PIO8G1e575auJvmU-n_D6L67Z-I9ksB81xi83yLBjXTK4GSryIFLSE3k-XlKdx9pXosu9l3M_sLe9NvWM3GZ9kCdoCTo_j7p1tV893kb2FQ

Tim from Cleveland
https://www.google.com/voice/fm/00557165274674955804/AHwOX_CVC7RcpKDn943bLhBgTe9NnzSYx3AFHl89lrDjmujbv_T43m5tyzUNy9VAaL0sieTrxe4WIdYg0saSoi_XTudvim3ngmKyFVrmV5xMI1OI9o9dAb9AYtc0ExqWfbMRqgwZBehraPnovFrH-C7h3z7uFqRb1w

John from Los Angeles
https://www.google.com/voice/fm/00557165274674955804/AHwOX_DAhfypG6s1itGcLr5zEjOhROu_i9YO1JvD6ZPwXkUKDxsZ-cnA_9IWp85YyerPzclqx2YfmQq_NrE7Y3cO0gMnv_yhMTH3wzQKimePzcWGm1Etx1ENLknwlRcmmo2ZhqtJkZrJGpjoq6zseOMGi2HcwNe9jQ

What would you say to the new guy?

Call us at 1-734-288-7510 or tap Speakpipe

Join the Chat Room, Tap Live stream and Chat Room

email at [email protected]

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The Big Book

The 12 and 12

24 Hours a Day

Call us at 1-734-288-7510 or tap Speakpipe

Join the Chat Room, Tap Live stream and Chat Room

email at [email protected]

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Get daily recovery messages Daily AA Emails.  

The Big Book

The 12 and 12

24 Hours a Day