Recovered Podcast

Being in recovery at any age elicits both challenges and rewards

But being young, at a pivotal, sometimes confusing point in life
even without worrying about sobriety,
makes said challenges and rewards even more prominent.

This is from an official AA pamplet Young People and AA

Coming into A.A. as young people, we found
that there were common challenges to face. In
the beginning, we often feel we are too young
to be alcoholics. Some of us didn’t drink for a
long time; others didn’t drink hard liquor, stumble
around, or forget what we did or said when
drunk. Being young in the everyday world we
face peer pressure, stressful relationships with
our parents, and parties being a way of life. In
A.A., we often feel different because we may be
the youngest person in our group, and some have
even had an uninformed older member discourage
us by saying things like “I spilled more booze
than you drank.”

You guys have probably heard that one

To get the community thinking about this topic this week, I sent out a survey on this topic.

I asked our listeners how old were you when you attended your first recovery meeting?

https://www.surveymonkey.com/analyze/Urp29ltLieUvDWeK9shuNw93CUhunzjL3T4oKUqs7_2Fs_3D

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Lets begin our discussion by talking about
What are some of the challenges for the young person in recovery?
What stigma does the young person have to overcome?
How does stigma affect the young person?

How about pressure to use?
Can campus life be a hostile environment for recovery?
How does does stress affect your recovery?

Have you suffered enough?
Wish I came in when you did?
Dos and don’ts

What are barriers to success?
What supports are available?
Where do students go for support?
Where do young parents go for support?

Have you suffered enough?
Wish I came in when you did?
Dos and don’ts

What kind of meeting should a young person look for?
What if these types of meetings are not available?
What about child care, do any of the meeting you attend provide this?
What about dating, what are your suggestions?

What about drama
socialize?
How about sponsorship? Any guidelines?
What is the experience with parents when they find out their child is in recovery?
In 2007, 10% of AA is less than 30 years old, do you think this has changed? Why or why not?
For the young person, what are some red flags which indicate possible addiction?

WE have Calls
Dave
https://www.speakpipe.com/messages

Kurt
https://www.google.com/voice/fm/00557165274674955804/AHwOX_DDivE9sGCGAKu3bjeJYA3vfij7lpdQ36-SmzKqwH_nSfrGEdh_hZs4PyzHq73Qo5bFTmDKMylVgdtVtU-5U4cO4AoCKLD8Jmezh9R36WyDZsCYeqFB40W01gYK0hszy2cDmJ0gihIF1w3CN2Uupk3r8OlKhA

Vlyde
https://www.google.com/voice/fm/00557165274674955804/AHwOX_D6rW1MSDkJMwnwrmo-rt2CwoLjuDSoF5DjxQPEFYWjf9T3VOW0euf7-OoXHmRRjlm6r6PQTGMonoaGpPlLfXROwjdWo7bO0fbEG2tBpwsT5E_orJIRPFiiFzuN5ET5_Yi_5WRNbaHf7eLL6uv12CvNGiY6mw

Final Thoughts?

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The Big Book

The 12 and 12

24 Hours a Day

Researchers have studied how quickly wounds heal in people who are relaxed compared with people who are stressed. Their results have generally shown that the calmer and more supported you feel, the faster you will recover. This is probably true for people in recovery from drugs and alcohol as well.

Those individuals who are recovering from an addiction can gain particular benefit from using relaxation techniques. These are some of the most prominent ways in which these techniques can aid in recovery:

* Anger and resentment can be a real problem for people who are recovering from an addiction. These are dangerous emotions because they can act as relapse triggers. By practicing relaxation techniques the individual can reduce the amount of anger they experience.
* Early recovery is often described as an emotional rollercoaster as people learn to deal with their feelings. The addict is able to escape dealing with their emotions by using alcohol and drugs, but this option is no longer available in recovery. This means that early sobriety can be a particularly stressful time; relaxation techniques can help the individual deal better with this stress.

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Survey
https://www.surveymonkey.com/analyze/a9qRbBWb1DG0qDSX4E_2BLDkRvHhOohZoP2iXuwiFe5x0_3D

What does relaxing in recovery mean to you?
Why is this important?
How do you find the time?
Are you ever bored?

What do you do with your free time?
How do you relax?
How do you do hobbies?
What do you like to do?

Exercise
outdoors/hiking
Prayer/meditation
Meetings
Golf?

What are some of the obstacles to you relaxing?
What is the best advice you have received about relaxing in recovery?
What is working for you today?
What book would you recommend?

We have calls
Drew from New England
https://www.google.com/voice/fm/00557165274674955804/AHwOX_D-apRlPFoOhBkemdBG9FbxLnO3FIxCpoJ3bVtVNYGf91ATYYL62ttzCzZG8-8NrAt78aSlZWHscahkmeURAyDe6I-leavYa0KnaP0AIs-WNdnKSoMtFugku10NDO8JB16uOv0HwvslskqzG-_GaIW7Wf4zGw

Ollie from London
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Alex
https://www.google.com/voice/fm/00557165274674955804/AHwOX_D9b8S9Wm9ohdrzRN99y-ViuniAox48vr6r_d0_u-BbfxpZ34f3wKKEwOl6ZrBjiQVOroN9TnZzFdxzg56D8IdtQ4XWCLulon0iAx6pftmqUPdkobgdp_f3dowgCqsBIwgfRR6ZEC9echTmv4GQypqhBxGVpA

What would you say to the new guy about relaxing in recovery?

Loneliness and isolation along with denial, are among the top killers of addicts. Part of the disease of addiction is its thirst for stripping the addict of all of her relationships, one by one, until no one is left to stand by the addict’s side. Together we succeed and enjoy sobriety and peace, but alone we might slowly die. It is much more fun to live recovery with friends, than to try and do it by ourselves.

Recovery is a “we program” not a “me program”. Alone we die, but together we live victoriously.

In Chapter 5, The big book prefaces the steps with
“Here are the steps we took, which are suggested as a program of recovery:” Therefore, it is implied that all the steps begin with we.

The foreword to the 3rd edition of the “big book” says
“… at its core it remains simple and personal. Each day, somewhere in the world, recovery begins when one alcoholic talks with another alcoholic, sharing experience, strength, and hope.

So at the core of the recovery program are at least two alcoholics, not one.

So, let’s begin our exploration of this topic with you

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What does “This is a we program” mean to you?
How do we find recovery from sharing our experience, strength and hope? Why is this effective?

Did you ever experience a sense of relief that you are no longer alone?
First meeting: no longer alone (I was “one more”)

What is your experience with the “we” of the program?
How are Open Talks part of the “We” of the program?
What is your experience with the slogan “If you want what we have?”
A sponsor is part of the “we” of the program, what is your experience?
A higher power is part of the “we” of the program, what is your experience?
Service work is part of the “we” of the program, what is your experience?
Sponsoring people is part of the “we” of the program.
12-step work is part of the “we” of the program, what is your experience?

We Have Calls

Clyde
https://www.google.com/voice/fm/00557165274674955804/AHwOX_C3ZT4UP3oWF1yJi5mx8Q7lZeWaoBDpY4DNWN91TxLLG6YfXF1A_y6Kx_En5TwTx7YM2b6xxjKspGJD_0vGXeygwkNEra1clTtS0AEOKSZA70wB4jb_3zBYeFhntIF5nY5B_wGza7xUPexOdPEDVFRvscxWhw

Alex
https://www.google.com/voice/fm/00557165274674955804/AHwOX_A7xcx6ccpclrdCL2R0G-84APF6a5xUmrRStdfKdOQdRL37snBzRxHS9x1b7SbWjBx4QNHKERk10deTNJFK7EsNsXeA3U-manDv4ktrzGcDRnVwcMHLnonh7tSr8xuQAKCQ6kE7-XatEAF_KapQRcW6sVTcNg

What would you say to the new guy?
How has the fellowship helped your program?

For most of us, summer is the perfect time for recreation, outdoor activities, socializing and relaxing. For some of us, Summer is the busy time of the year and finding time for recovery is the challenge.

Now that you’re sober and summer is upon us, your idea of fun will no doubt look and feel a lot different than it did in the past…and that’s a good thing!

For those in recovery – especially early recovery – summertime can also present a unique set of challenges.

In the past, some of your summertime activities may have been synonymous with destructive behaviors. However, changing your lifestyle for the better doesn’t necessarily mean you have to redefine your personal definition of “fun.”

So, if you’re looking for some new summer activities that will allow you to let loose, laugh and have fun without the fear of triggering a relapse, you’re in luck. We have suggestions!

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What was your first summer like?
Did it feel odd to not use? How and why?
What were some of your triggers?
How did you cope?
What tools did you use?

What has held you back from enjoying summer as a sober person?
What is the best advice you ever received about keeping your recovery program strong during summer?
What book, website, podcast, music, movie, concert, do you recommend the new person to check out this summer?
What is something that is working for you right now in your summertime recovery program?
What do you like to do sober during the summer?

We Have Calls
Tony from Connecticut
https://www.google.com/voice/fm/00557165274674955804/AHwOX_CzmLFG6ATC53Bqb7rUhy8wUXCr8jYH6UXEBBTuibF_2YiG6-8JTBH8E2OZ9nDcHSpYCf5kN_vbgGjTQbY1moSHihyXmQNtL2oE0aOuSxHRMpc0E6KBZHFa_wSBaN2bmP7PRGLRkJV6NZSJTsQiJrj7pTO_ww

Ollie from London
https://www.speakpipe.com/messageshttps://www.speakpipe.com/messages

Nick from Australia
https://www.speakpipe.com/messages

Alex from Austin
https://www.google.com/voice/fm/00557165274674955804/AHwOX_DF8eMdqAf5cK7_3pMeYEPgO4Ogi-ifCrFwxWIwtg01fNjzVBLj3EEVSuhJ8VUd6PcMbSaKlSvMckSskR9B7ZahSGK0vevR1kHahFZT2wFvYndbfKqpo87bGa1hNv8b1AlBdYmPn8vFQ7MuYY2C-eAw-wCMTA

Suggestions you may want to comment on.
Go Camping, Embrace Nature
Join a Sports League
Travel and Sightseeing
Volunteer Your Time
Try a New Activity
Explore Your City or Home State
Involve Your Pets
Explore Your Creative Side
Coordinate/Vacation with Others in Recovery
BBQ
Meditate in unique places
Start an outdoor meeting

What would you say to the new guy?

Nancy Burks grew up in southeast Michigan and pursued a career as a clinical psychologist until retiring two years ago. Since then, Nancy has started a new phase of her life teaching Buddhism and meditation. Nancy became a Buddhist in 1978, and has practiced in the
Tibetan Buddhist tradition
ever since. From 1996 to 2000, Nancy participated in an intensive, cloistered retreat with 9 other women in upstate New York. Upon completing this traditional training program, she earned the title of "Lama" which means teacher. Nancy currently teaches and practices at the Ann Arbor KTC Tibetan Buddhist Meditation Center. just go to
http://annarborktc.org
For more information

That link will be in the show notes
Nancy lives in Ann Arbor with her husband, and is a caregiver for for her mother and brother.

Nancy welcome to the Recovered Studio

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The Big Book

The 12 and 12

24 Hours a Day

As you know Nancy, the Recovered Podcast is intended to be a support for those of us in 12-step recovery program.

Do you know anyone who had struggled with addiction?

As you may know, one of the obstacles new members in 12-step recovery programs have is developing a spiritual life. We encourage new members to consider that there are powers greater than self and that this power can help in sobriety. Later, we find that helps is all areas of our lives.

For example Nancy, many of our new members find their “Higher Power” in the 12-step group.

Through frequent contact with members in the 12-step community, new people find the ability to stay sober. This ability to stay sober was not possible before the group. This, we tell our new members, is a power greater than self.

Another source of “higher power” can be found in the truth. Truth itself and in others. For example, when we honestly look at ourselves and our faults and stop blaming others, we find that changing our behavior is possible. Something that was not possible before.

But when new members are told to get a higher power, the immediately think of the punishing God they grew up with, or maybe the religion of their youth. And for many, these have been terrible experiences and they want no part of that. They feel like they have been painted into a corner with no way out.

But what we encourage is for the new person to seek for themselves what a higher power means to them. There is not only one way, there are many.

Many of us in the United States have no understanding of buddhism. So I wanted to get your perspective Nancy, because you have so much to offer our listeners in regards to life experiences, psychology, and buddhism.

So our listeners get to know you a little better, let's start at the beginning.

Your Story
Tell us where were you born; what was your family of origin like.
What were your religious experiences growing up?

Many of our listeners may not be familiar with Buddhism
Tell us your experience in Budism, how did you become buddhist.

What common feature does Buddhism share with other religions?
What is the difference between Buddhism and other religions?

Give us a brief history of the Buddha.
What is the essential characteristic of Buddhism?
How has buddhism helped you in difficult times?

Advice
What was the #1 thing that has held you back in your spiritual life?
What is the best spiritual advice you ever received?
What is something that is working for your spiritual life right now?
What is the best spiritual book you have read?

Hope
What would you say to the new guy?

Read books by Chogyam trungpa
Meditation in action
Cutting through spiritual materialism

Other Books
Pema Chodron - Start Where You Are, When Things Fall Apart

Jon Kabat-Zinn - Full Catastrophe Living

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The Big Book

The 12 and 12

24 Hours a Day

The definition of Unmanageable is

1. Difficult or impossible to manage or control:
2. Difficult to carry or maneuver; unwieldy:
When we deny our powerlessness over alcohol our lives become unmanageable. Our lives may be unmanageable in a few areas or in many areas. They may be slightly unmanageable in some areas and totally unmanageable in others. Unmanageability caused by addiction take many forms. It can include physical, spiritual, and mental problems; financial and legal problems; family and social problems. The problems may have been obvious to others or known only to us, but they were
in one form or another.

The longer I am in recovery, the more I realize how unmanageable my life had become. By accepting my powerlessness and unmanageability, I accept that I can not recover alone. I need help. That help,
the Big Book tells me in the Second Step,
will come from a Power greater than myself. My unmanageability lays the basis of my willingness to open and keep myself open to a Power greater than myself and to recovery.

Use of the plural pronoun in the First Step, "We admitted," emphasizes that we are not alone and that we do not work our recovery program alone. AA is a "we" program. "I get drunk; we stay sober: is an old AA saying. The "we" includes us, other program members, and our Higher Power. The first word in the First Step makes that point clear.

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Survey says:
https://www.surveymonkey.com/analyze/J5f9Lbn_2FOnk1_2BlLPJRK_2FZV3nHbzPSf1es3uyCqMJ6hY_3D

What does unmanageability mean to you?
How did alcohol and unmanageability relate for you?
Alcohol stole time it stole the future

How does alcohol and unmanageability relate for you today?
As soon as I reject reality and try to create a situation that I desire, life becomes unmanageable for me. If I wish to change the past instead of accepting, life becomes unmanageable

How does control and unmanageability relate for you?

How did you use to be unmanageable?
How are you unmanageable today?
What tools do you use?

Who was in control when you grew up?
How did that affect you?
How does that affect you now?

How do you try to control the emotions, finances, lives of others?
How do expectations and unmanageability relate?
How does flexibility and unmanageability relate?
How does your higher power and unmanageability relate?
How does patience help?
How does acceptance help?

We have calls
OIllie
https://www.speakpipe.com/messages

Erika From Boston
https://www.google.com/voice/fm/00557165274674955804/AHwOX_DgozDUnfddLCF1EEoEphLA0MWrWR3d2oHcUB0aSl8Z5i0yF2NKBLy_EKiwMTKuWHQJOSei1JtjYJ0HOCTAH4ZhXpqYII1w6oOlrjds29DUInvZIrfakpd6tV_JEFTIOKIjINoNjbn9xyCHjFPGaRZNxsvdvA

Bronte
https://mail.google.com/mail/ca/u/0/#inbox/155950efa5e357d3

Alex
https://www.google.com/voice/fm/00557165274674955804/AHwOX_CQllxdClvtMWg-Pr94CzAL4dONMJP9nATd3qUB0mbPuCDRq4unP2X7j6C7T63RQtmjQzjbJxeHR_ghw3IBXSmXa1CYv4i2bsGL9wphFztqFy62fU825-6_L1tuRIB2c1Z4MLBJESdp-Ap6TJEb2uqN_dL-Bw

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The Big Book

The 12 and 12

24 Hours a Day

"Reading recovery literature is another important tool of the program. It helps to educate, motivate, and inspire us. Reading recovery literature helps us learn how to stay sober and work a recovery program specifically tailored for us." This does however assume you are literate and sighted, which is not always the case.

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How about you?
When you were new, what were you told to read?

How was it effective?
How did you use recovery literature, what were your routines?

What were some of your favorite titles when you were new?

What websites, blogs, or podcasts do you use in your recovery?

Twitter
Facebook
Intherooms.com
Daily AA emails

Share some of your experiences

Some of my books I have read

Big Book
Big Book Commentary by Frank Dwyer
12 and 12
Daily Meditations
24 Hours a Day
How Alanon Works
Blueprint for Progress
Courage to Change
A New Pair of Glasses
Dr. Bob and the Good Oldtimers
As Bill Sees it
Drop the Rock
The Golden Key
Three scriptures foundational according to Dr. Bob
The Sermon on the Mount
The Book of James
1 Cor 13

Ever thought about the fact that the programs assumes you can read?

I knew a guy who was illiterate in the program
In aa we have a tradition where the introduction to the meeting includes readings from approved literature and is shared by different members
Ken could never participate in this
He couldn’t read the Big Book. But Ken could pray
He might be the most spiritual person I knew.

We Have Calls

Cristie
https://www.speakpipe.com/messages

Hannah
https://www.speakpipe.com/messages

Clyde
https://www.google.com/voice/fm/00557165274674955804/AHwOX_BjfkvOhB1_RRNu476hxlMboJnPL9NWX1eub4ZznEpJT4LmHRFIoMECp1T1TlFc-870R_Nf-J9Zhcj8tkHDAyyCx0oOJ3jG7kkg2e5OXqgV3d0R2b7cHN5kD4NQ446dwp0eIOx6Z02MLFbrD5_6Pw_oFkUuXw

Russ
https://mail.google.com/mail/u/0/#inbox/155747243f2c7c78?projector=1

Mandy
https://www.speakpipe.com/messages

Kurt
https://www.google.com/voice/fm/00557165274674955804/AHwOX_AWi_U7nIgt4Os0TaiM6U4pcKUAhH4IZ12XRpFyTAH-l84uQwt6pv0mMa32aE0BNnCupEDsDcOdIMUE0AHTSE4XlZQ_gONIGMbVyukS4E__BNT83kNs5QlcEdZq0_Nr3LmHPrFMgMytHspop05eyvwY80-mAg

Alex
https://www.google.com/voice/fm/00557165274674955804/AHwOX_BbtkONp1p5_HVsXFdmIVQvKdAFqtB0HKddudUsKb-XgYMfoK9WDsoRwuV_y1xg-_wIovHCWIA2BzHisdnVkYo_TXiMBjPbIBpgtIcCi4Ybh1rI2XlD6N-i29xP0h20UUHEvjoQX9440H1_SYaKpmkES6Zlew

What would you say to the new guy?