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We people who manage to escape addiction did so by taking responsibility for our own plight. When abusing substances we may have had plenty of justifications that absolved our accountability, but such irrational thinking cannot follow us into sobriety. Recovery begins when we take responsibility for our situation and decide to improve things.
Responsibility Defined
The word responsibility means an individual who has a moral, legal, or mental accountability for something. It means that people are answerable for any act performed, and its consequences. Responsibility is based on the idea that humans are capable of making choices, and therefore they should be responsible for these choices.
This means that if there are negative consequences for some action by an individual they should be prepared to be accountable for this.
In previous generations it was assumed that people fell into addiction because they were just bad people. The disease theory of addiction became popular during the middle of the last century, and this puts forward the idea that the addict is not fully to blame for their situation. They have a brain disease,
and it is this that drives the addiction. This would imply that the addict is no more responsible for their condition than the diabetic.
While many would agree that the individual is not responsible for falling into addiction they certainly have a responsibility to get themselves out of this situation. Nobody else can do this for them so if they fail to take responsibility they are doomed to an unpleasant ending.
Some individuals use the disease theory as justification for their failure to escape addiction, but this argument is not valid at all. If people choose to continue to abuse alcohol and drugs they are fully responsible for the outcome.
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What was your initial reaction when you heard that Recovery is My Responsibility was going to be the topic?
Where do you want to start?
Before drugs and alcohol, were you a responsible person?
How were you irresponsible when you started using?
Why did you become irresponsible?
What were some of the consequences of being irresponsible?
How did it affect your relationships with family, friends, higher power, employer, self?
When you first came into program, did you have unrealistic expectations of the fellowship to get you sober? Explain?
How did you come to the realization that your recovery is your responsibility?
What does Recovery is My Responsibility mean to you today?
Why is being responsible for your own recovery important to you?
How did you learn to be more responsible?
What steps, service work, prayer, slogan, sponsor advice, etc. helped?
We Have Calls
Celeste
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Erika
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Joey
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Anonymous
https://www.speakpipe.com/messages
What would you say to the new guy?
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The Big Book
The 12 and 12
24 Hours a Day
The problem of evil is the most serious problem in the world. It is also the one serious objection to the existence of God. If God is all knowing and all powerful, what kind of God would allow bad things to happen to good people. Many of us coming into recovery have had terrible things happen to us and we blamed God for it. Now, as a newcomer, we find out that a relationship with a higher power is suggested, maybe even necessary, for a successful life in sobriety.
My current form of spirituality is that I experience my Higher Power in relationships. It is usually people who hurt me and I project these negative emotions and blame on God. I have also learned how to forgive God by forgiving people, including myself.
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So, that is the topic tonight. How do we deal with God when his will seems cruel.
When you were growing up, did you experience trauma?
Did you blame God?
When you came in, what was your relationship with higher power?
How did you develop your relationship with higher power?
Have you experienced tragedy/heartbreak since recovery?
Have you been angry with God since recovery?
How did you deal with that?
Let’s talk about forgiveness as a recovery tool.
When I have been hurt, I find that it is best for me to get to forgiveness as soon as possible. But this is a journey usually, because anger, shame, revenge, all these negative emotions have to be felt and moved through. But it has been my experience that Forgiveness is something I do for myself, not a favor I do to the other party.
Why is forgiveness something you do for yourself?
What has been your experience?
Forgiveness is not a matter of exonerating people who have hurt you. They may not deserve exoneration. Forgiveness means cleansing your soul of the bitterness of ‘what might have been,’ ‘what should have been,’ and ‘what didn’t have to happen.’
Have you ever tried to change the past?
Someone has defined forgiveness as ‘giving up all hope of having had a better past.
Service Work is another tool in dealing with tragedy.
The purpose in life is not to win. The purpose in life is to grow and to share.
How has service work giving you purpose in life?
Good people will do good things, lots of them, because they are good people. They will do bad things because they are human.
Why is it true that to err is to be human? Why should you be compassionate to someone who makes mistakes?
Gratitude can help when dealing with bad situations
If you concentrate on finding whatever is good in every situation, you will discover that your life will suddenly be filled with gratitude, a feeling that nurtures the soul.
Does gratitude help you in recovery?
The We part of the program is also helpful
One man alone can't defeat the forces of evil, but many good people coming together can.
What does this mean to you?
We have responsibility for our own happiness
God’s job is not to make sick people healthy. That’s the doctor’s job. God’s job is to make sick people brave.
What does this mean to you?
We Have Calls
Clyde from Shelby Twsp
https://www.google.com/voice/fm/00557165274674955804/AHwOX_DWz87cSjcModg1s0f_Fk5B9EvW_dOiU7g_yNDwex7epyvkuigMl2rHoN8uLFkocwotdvAuIqebrLkWisIEciOUN5ir4nYg5vpYHfVXKME0ulRKPYEqq5nO37pIhWLQl6gsxkCFDCHLmLUob77PPwCWMvHAdA
Rebecca
https://www.google.com/voice/fm/00557165274674955804/AHwOX_CwcbMlUXr2ywg4KzHzLOdkX5btsdmKmtzfgy9rRW9MK0mKi3xZPUVMqlfPvs_NkPfmQFpQ0QIuTRTZNWYZfOMcrmeoA3lFcAK1PmlpPQARXyqNAXWsyg3wEaX6MR2OWT3sabU_tB7ezNDLX7a4eFvvNUeBKg
Cristie from New York
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Buddy
https://www.google.com/voice/fm/00557165274674955804/AHwOX_CPYLjoL6kd5jAaKmyYbHfpFXPADFqTMrHtCOULmvJw5aitzOTLqZQqHsNy0N0cn0uHvVV_djv-3d_cmSYu0qTMjvYAYCaz9kkv7-M7QUkLnYHJNZ2jJjHOhpDzR8IDGedbbPWCmaMsHGqqRrinwl6WfHzzzw
What would you say to the new guy?
Introduction Kurt…. I had the privilege to meet you relatively recently I think I first met you you at Gregg and chrissy's house last year You are Russ' sponsor, right? Since then, the three of us have tried to get together on a monthly basis and I use you guys as a sort of steering committee for this show.
For this I am grateful for your wisdom and insight.
Let's start where we always start. Kurt, what is your sobriety date? Who is your sponsor? Where is your homegroup?
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Your Story Tell us where were you born and your family of origin. What were your religious experiences? Tell us your early story up until your bottom Describe your bottom and early recovery. Describe how you worked the steps. What did you learn? Tell us one amends story. When was the obsession to drink removed? Have you had a spiritual experience? Describe how you work your program today.
Trauma and its Effects on Disease/Recovery Have you had trauma(s) in your life? How did that (they) affect your disease? How did it affect your program? How does it affect you today?
Advice What was the #1 thing that was holding you back from entering recovery? What is the best recovery advice you ever received? What is something that is working for your recovery program right now? Beside the Big Book, what is the best recovery book you have read?
Hope What would you say to the new guy?
"The grouch and the brainstorm were not for us. They may be the dubious luxury of normal men, but for alcoholics these things are poison." [1]
"Grouch" is not the name of a Sesame Street puppet. It means a "fit of temper." [2]
Today, a brainstorming is generally considered by normal people to be a bunch of people creatively bouncing brilliant ideas off each other. Back in 1938 when the Big Book was written, a brainstorm was considered to be "an outburst of passion or agitation so violent as temporarily to deprive one of reason".[3]
Psychologists will tell us that Violent temperament and agitation cuts us off from our access to sound reasoning. Agitation can also hinder our spiritual connections. So, if a brainstorm is a Spiritual sickness coupled with loss of intellectual reasoning, it is no wonder life becomes unmanageable and we feel adrift.
Sometimes, Life brings us to a place where we experience cruelty or injustice caused by people, places, and things. How I can determine how healthy I am in my spiritual life is by how I respond to those who disturb me.
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When you first learned of this topic, what did you first think? Where would like to begin with this topic?
What does “the Grouch” mean to you?
What does the “brainstorm” mean to you?
Why are they bad for you?
This part of the big book focuses on
Resentments
When I first came into the program, I was told that looking at my resentments could be a journey of self discovery. It could be a key to lasting sobriety.
I had no idea what this meant.
I just knew I was pissed, jealous, and a victim.
How was talking about resentments helpful?
What about you?
When you first came in, what were some of your resentments?
Resentment means to re-live a past injury,
To cultivate this memory, to protect it.
What are your thoughts about this definition?
How can let go and let God help?
What are your thoughts about resentments leading to self-pity?
Has this happened to you?
What was the effect?
Where does self pity lead you?
What are your thoughts about the relationship between resentment and humility?
How is humility the cure for resentments?
How does this relate to Step 7?
When you were new, who did you think was to blame for these resentments?
What were your thoughts that you are the one who may be the cause of your resentment.
That maybe you got the ball rolling?
When dealing with resentments now, what tools do you use?
What steps help?
How do meetings help?
How is a sponsor helpful?
We have calls! Want to take them?
Phone calls
Nick from South Austrailia
https://www.speakpipe.com/messages
Cristie
https://www.google.com/voice/fm/00557165274674955804/AHwOX_AcIBDokj7Ikg443ox2vjXzJ6Wqzj_WDwET5M-8rLm0l8tP9S-LcMi-NfM8AlFPH7g7cHX8VcKbMWHWBJXoOB81HZ0tNfLbhC0K65ZR9USkNM_t6A3M0Vxj-Bt4fMql8fsBI8nSIskEPlAb4Q7cCW7w5ZWrKg
Joey
https://www.google.com/voice/fm/00557165274674955804/AHwOX_CJXmbBCuE8s-Y-UFCgUmKUkxx5srSkiS-aEeoDo1aMKZovZwWBmoZXrEwaD7de2PEJUyl_i7S1CI3jBTgYGbiY_wv3OXZlyhRsG1rgBpV6g3kTd7Ve54hv-pqAQQClYgqB8tmh4S-s7xOr30qDNdFXfuMelw
What would you say to the new guy?
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The Big Book
The 12 and 12
24 Hours a Day
Starting out our new life in recovery involves taking chances, making decisions that can be life-altering, trying out healthier behaviors and working the 12-steps to firmly ground ourselves in sobriety. It’s an incredible undertaking, a journey that is ongoing. We are never done with recovery. We are at it forever, one day at a time.
What about being able to trust yourself to do the right thing? Well, since most individuals in recovery have a difficult time with this, let’s talk about learning how to trust yourself again.
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Step 1 - Start With a Clean Slate
When you came in, did your slate need cleaning?
What is your experience with this?
How do you “drop the rock”?
How do you forget the past?
How do you focus on the positive?
NOTES
First and foremost, there’s no point in carrying a lot of baggage from the past now that you’re in recovery. Having gone through treatment and made the decision to live your life clean and sober, you have a new chapter in front of you. Forget about the mistakes that you made in the past. You are not your past. It doesn’t define you or dictate your future. Only you can do that, and you’ve already decided that you’re going to live to the fullest of your ability and be in effective long-term recovery.
Starting off with this clean slate will make it easier to concentrate on healing and growing more self-confident. As your self-confidence increases, you’ll find that making decisions becomes a little easier as well.
Step 2 - Build Upon Your Successes
What does this mean to you?
How can this help?
Do you have experience with this?
How do you do this?
How do you “remember” your successes?
When you’re just starting recovery, there’s so much to do all at once. The tendency is to either go gung-ho and try to do it all or sink back on the couch in despair because you don’t think you can tackle all that you feel you need to do. The key thing here is to embrace recovery and work it slowly, thoughtfully each day. When you experience a success – such as your first week of sobriety, first month, and so on – think of this as a building block. One successful achievement leads to another and another and so on.
Successes can be anything that you deem important. It could be that you’re finally able to have a meaningful conversation about your newly-won sobriety with your spouse or that you’ve worked out a realignment of your workload with your supervisor to accommodate your attendance at 12-step meetings and gradually ramping up you job responsibilities. It could be successfully overcoming cravings by using the coping mechanisms you learned during treatment. Perhaps you find that being able to go to work each day is a success – especially if you had great difficulties with this prior to treatment.
However you define success, when you achieve it, build upon it. You will be making it easier to learn how to trust yourself again.
Step 3 - Ask for Help
When you were new, was this difficult? Why?
How did you do it early on?
Do you ask for help now?
Why is this important?
Who do you ask for help?
No one expects you to go it alone. In fact, no one recovers alone. You need the support and encouragement of others. Two of your most important support networks are your family and your 12-step groups. Naturally, you’ll feel raw and confused when you first begin recovery. Go ahead and ask for help from your loved ones as well as your 12-step sponsor.
Your loved ones already know about your past problems – they’ve lived with them. Of course they want you to move forward in recovery. If you feel reluctant to discuss your fears with them, that’s understandable. But don’t miss out on the opportunity to open the lines of communication at home. Give it some time and bring up the subject when you feel comfortable. Ask for support from your spouse or loved ones.
It may be easier to go first to your 12-step sponsor – once you find one. After all, that’s what the sponsor is there for, to help support and encourage newcomers like you to recovery. The sponsor has been where you are, felt what you’re feeling, and knows all about how difficult it can be to trust yourself again. The advice and counsel you receive from your 12-step sponsor and fellow group members can make all the difference in the world when you’re learning how to trust yourself again.
Step 4 - Regaining Self-Trust Requires Action
What actions do you take to regain trust in yourself?
It’s important to note here that the ability to trust yourself again requires that you do something. You can’t just sit back and expect or hope that you’ll regain your self-trust. It just doesn’t happen that way. Self-trust never occurs in a vacuum: it results from actions that you undertake.
Look at regaining trust as a process of self-discovery or rediscovery, as it more appropriately is. Once you possessed some measure of self-trust. You probably didn’t think much about it until you lost your self-respect, until you sunk so deep in your substance abuse or other addictive behaviors that you and others doubted your word. Your actions then were anything but trustworthy. But back to regaining the trust you lost in yourself, it can be done. But you do have to make conscious decisions in many areas of your new life in recovery in order to learn how to trust yourself again.
Step 6 - How Do You Know You Trust Yourself Again?
When you’re going along in recovery, doing the things on your daily schedule, crossing off goals on your list, taking care of yourself in the best way you can, how do you know if you really trust yourself again? That’s a good question. The truth of the matter is that you probably won’t think about self-trust as a general rule. It’s not a subjec that springs automatically to mind on a daily basis. It’s not like getting up, eating breakfast, getting ready for work, going to work, attending 12-step meetings, spending time with the family, or going to bed. It’s not on your daily schedule. Trust isn’t a topic you sit around analyzing for hours on end. Trust, especially trust in yourself, is something that develops over time and results from self-accomplishment of goals and belief in your own abilities to do what you need to do in recovery.
You might go for several months without ever thinking about whether you trust yourself or not. However, the fact that you’ll be able to weigh and balance different options and make a decision as to what is right for you in various situations will be evidence that you have begun to trust yourself again. You look at what’s available to you, sift through the pros and cons of each course of action, and make a determination as to your course of action. And trust, remember, requires action. When you are actively involved in decision-making regarding your recovery, you’re building your reservoir of self-trust.
Other Tips to Learning How To Trust Yourself Again
What other tips do you have?
There are many ways to learn how to trust yourself again. For each individual in recovery, there may be hundreds of things that work or just a significant few. Experiment. Be bold. Take what works and do more of it. Try some things that are new.
Buy or download literature, brochures, pamphlets, FAQs and other resources from the various 12-step groups. Take out books on recovery from the local library. Watch programs that deal with overcoming substance abuse or process addictions. Become as knowledgeable as you can about recovery and realize that there’s always something new in the field that can prove helpful to you in your journey.
One day, when you’re ready – when you’ve been in effective recovery for at least a year – you may wish to consider becoming a 12-step sponsor to another newcomer. When you reach the point where you are able to handle with confidence the challenges and opportunities that come your way with confidence, you’ll know that you’ve learned how to trust yourself again. Being in recovery doesn’t mean that you’ll always have all the answers. It does mean that you’ll be armed with the tools you need to be able to make the determination about the right thing to do – and then do it.
Recovery is an exciting journey. It’s all about discovering – and rediscovering – who you are, who you intend to be, and what you’re willing to do to get there. Learning how to trust yourself again is part of the evolotion of the brand-new you.
We have calls
Ollie
https://www.speakpipe.com/messages
Jen from Maryland
https://www.google.com/voice/fm/00557165274674955804/AHwOX_Cf7LdJ095S1uviryq9EHIz_2hJ-8Y4V6OffvT2xePBflu1kTr_nJjI19SR6Ecv5oIMXmng_mjOyjbPIxi-cpPaieea7JCU9VUBJ7PjLRoYMXfieZCLn1Fzlb5QgThcTAyXCXBKIC9PS7vvMwiwwG5aLcxdOw
What would you say to the new guy?
What would you say to the new guy about this topic?
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The Big Book
The 12 and 12
24 Hours a Day
My sponsor taught me that we don't think our way to right action, we act our way to right thinking.
If we habitually do right things, we change because they become second nature. So we need to practice right things. This is where the 12 steps are our guide and teacher.
The 12 Steps of AA ARE the Principles of the Program that we practice. The principles are listed on Big Book pages 59 and 60 in the form of the 12 steps! Over the years many lists of virtues that correspond to each of the Twelve Steps and their underlying spiritual nature have been published. The origins of these lists are unknown, although they are used by many Twelve step members.
So, this is what we are going to talk about tonight, the principles we practice in recovery
Each step we practice includes a recovery principle we need.
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So here they are:
The AA Principles in the steps
In Step 1, the Principle is Honesty
Step 1 We admitted that we were powerless over alcohol – that our lives had become unmanageable.
How do you practice the principle in this step?
How do you practice this principle in the world?
In Step 2, the principle is Hope
Step 2 Came to believe that a power greater than ourselves could restore us to sanity.
How do you practice the principle in this step?
How do you practice this principle in the world?
(Hope: Step 2 is the mirror image or opposite of step 1. In step 1 we admit
that alcohol is our higher power, and that our lives are unmanageable.
In step 2, we find a different Higher Power who we hope will bring
about a return to sanity in management of our lives.)
In Step 3, the principle is Faith
Made a decision to turn our will and our lives over to the care of God as we understood him.
How do you practice the principle in this step?
How do you practice this principle in the world?
(Commitment: The key word in step 3 is decision.)
In Step 4, the principle is Courage
Made a searching and fearless moral inventory of ourselves.
How do you practice the principle in this step?
How do you practice this principle in the world?
(Honesty: an inventory of self.)
In Step 5, the principle is Integrity
Admitted to God, to ourselves, and to another human being the exact nature of our wrongs.
How do you practice the principle in this step?
How do you practice this principle in the world?
(Truth: candid confession to God and another human being.)
In Step 6, the principle is Willingness
Were entirely ready to have God remove all these defects of character.
How do you practice the principle in this step?
How do you practice this principle in the world?
(Willingness: choosing to abandon defects of character.)
In Step 7, the principle is Humility
Humbly asked Him to remove our shortcomings.
How do you practice the principle in this step?
How do you practice this principle in the world?
(Humility: standing naked before God, with nothing to hide, and asking that our flaws – in His eyes – be removed.)
In Step 8, the principle is Brotherly Love
Made a list of all persons we had harmed, and became willing to make amends to them all.
How do you practice the principle in this step?
How do you practice this principle in the world?
(Reflection: who have we harmed? Are we ready to amend?)
In Step 9, the principle is Justice
Made direct amends to such people wherever possible, except when to do so would injure them or others.
How do you practice the principle in this step?
How do you practice this principle in the world?
(Amendment: making direct amends/restitution/correction, etc.)
In Step 10, the principle is Perseverance
Continued to take personal inventory and, when we were wrong, promptly admitted it.
How do you practice the principle in this step?
How do you practice this principle in the world?
(Vigilance: exercising self-discovery, honesty, abandonment,
humility, reflection and amendment on a momentary, daily, and periodic
basis.)
In Step 11, the principle is Spirituality
Sought through prayer and meditation to improve our conscious contact with God as we understood Him, praying only for knowledge of his will for us and the power to carry that out.
How do you practice the principle in this step?
How do you practice this principle in the world?
(Attunement: becoming as one with our Higher Power.)
In Step 12, the principle is Service
Having had a spiritual awakening as the result of these steps, we tried to carry this message to others and to practice these principles in all our affairs.
How do you practice the principle in this step?
How do you practice this principle in the world?
(Service: awakening into sober usefulness.)
We Have Calls!
Kurt
https://www.google.com/voice/fm/00557165274674955804/AHwOX_DfqnLYge2I5AfvWt0GY7DC_yi2Wrc-fYSnZu-mTp84IA74fdz28UNvsgS_fjBhsKRgdgd1kjfiWO-uulSaSOVbLbC3Qki1L3QYYTL1eGE1rByTK9znV4GfIqFILlJ73yEwMwlE9nCJr9jjUmSpMJ8FyZShKg
Marty
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Clyde
https://www.google.com/voice/fm/00557165274674955804/AHwOX_Do6Eb40VgkwC0wgyE5qPFT4ozjWddghxri6LTeHk0mQUx3u1cF6rgSQq90D085J3Juox_Sk_rJeKXvVQBtUK5AwjRG3NzrdJlJYMs_da05L6s3ttiMeaAUpyKStEROHFBLC6FwLBpM81uBn5YrlP_TXuHzrg
What would you say to the new guy about this topic?
Tonight, the topic is
Well, it’s you Zach
Zach, today we will do the Recovered Podcast a little different. Zach is a regular host on the Recovered Podcast, but today I want our listeners to know you Zach in a more complete way. I want our listeners to be inspired by your story.
So, today Zach, I want you to share with our listeners your story. Your story of challenge, rising to success, then crushing defeat, and then rising again from the ashes to a new story of recovery. Finally, Zach, I want our listeners to know what your latest adventure has been.
Each step we practice includes a recovery principle we need.
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Is this ok with you Zach?
Where were you born, tell us your early story
When did you first drink
When did you first drug
What was that like?
Story of wrestling
How did addiction affect this
How did you end up at hazelden?
Describe rehab?
What was the most important thing you learned in rehab?
How did you put your recovery life back together
How did you put your professional life back togather
How did the tools of recovery help?
What has been the biggest challenge in the latest re-invention of Zach the wrestler?
You recently auditioned for American Ninja Warrior
The action-packed series follows competitors as they tackle a series of challenging obstacle courses in both city qualifying and city finals rounds across the country. Those that successfully complete the finals course in their designated region move on to the national finals round in Las Vegas, where they face a stunning four-stage course modeled after the famed Mt. Midoriyama course in Japan. The winner will take home a grand prize of $1,000,000. Although many have come close, no competitor has yet to achieve total victory and claim the prize.
Tell us about your experience.
What did you learn?
What have you achieved so far?
What do you hope to accomplish by participating?
How can our listeners get in touch with you?
How can our listeners support you?
How can our listeners watch you on TV?
Thank you for joining us in studio
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