Recovered Podcast

Step 8 is concerned with our personal relationships.  It is an examination of how we have dealt with people in the past and, more specifically, how we have harmed them.  This step is the basis for developing a more productive and satisfactory way of dealing with others. The AA 12 and 12 says that step 8 is the beginning of the end of isolation from our fellows and from God.

According to the Alcoholics Anonymous 12 and 12, steps 8 & 9 involved this process:

we take a look backward and try to discover where we had been at fault,
we make a vigorous attempt to repair the damage we have done, and

This is a very large order.

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The Big Book

The 12 and 12

24 Hours a Day

what are your initial thoughts on this step?

What is the purpose of this step?

What does it mean to make amends to someone to you?

What is the role of forgiveness for you in the amends process?

What does the term harm mean in this step to you?

Why must we be willing to make amends to all those we have harmed? Can't there be any exceptions?

Have you resisted making this list? If so, why?

Did you use your 4th step as a tool in preparation?

The first time you took this step? Where are you willing to make amends?

Have you ever prayed for the willingness to be willing?

Have you ever put yourself on this list?

How does your higher power play a role in this step?

How has your sponsor help you in this step?

What prayers have you used during this step?

What slogans have you used during this step?

We Have Calls!

Clyde

https://www.google.com/voice/fm/00557165274674955804/AHwOX_AqxsJn1wkV_d1CX9qgABEU2GIUzPKqYpdsP625XH5UvQo5wMsOg7DKlCL9yeNAQOm-oQ5caHYVMwAapD7K9C0DD_HB6qJAig8tUgTge_6mVifhmIHAL_Ox_Lsbd59chqARTDrgiSdFOSNa4Ibes49DcHQ83A

Kurt

https://www.google.com/voice/fm/00557165274674955804/AHwOX_CARgdR_IkcPZSItRZxx8PlW2-LYn4t8sIVH8qnnpbJHYWAbyGeVmXw8duW3jQFhYV9kROt7ppr-7EYU920Kofex6b4n_qgwPG2FI9_B04OaY24r1TViLoQwPsQVbFL1sI2QjsB7MHux0Hk6A1hP6Etb-_csA

Alex

https://www.google.com/voice/fm/00557165274674955804/AHwOX_AeD_X8TGZQ32HDI8Uvf98-rl7sc2oJGsW7WmypOnHVb4URZ6Zk19kv_L8mrZ2uYeaeuqUQOB6P-JbNiJbtbIMuqS6KoYtSzGNlVxfkchXA_aaNqwhoUOI5mqQdK38y6dMK6r0E80b0hdj8Tihcwo4UNfuFiw

Mandy

https://www.google.com/voice/fm/00557165274674955804/AHwOX_AgA6gG713wo94SWFYeibcnJpTmovZtfbcN6w6Jzx4ASUlOPHnTMrjekIYinsWJ-KUXxZYbRJS15D4SlfUwMX30nyNtuU97zTKsmDULJ65aonSspdz6lIDInq97QwHtU0He_cOiEM2cJoplmsJsJL-shxTVEg

Bill from New Jersey

https://www.google.com/voice/fm/00557165274674955804/AHwOX_C9Ob17fiDa5fa3lj8njAzqc8mbWYL3PujbuDtGXzn783J4sMxuQ7KgRaNxJr_A0uFDIxKrnAr_JepwtOu4d17k4wX0kmbRHtw6u6_Bjg-Tj5giXZSdcsBLJyZ0IdwrRe9U-jdvmuU_KaiIIsQ4cTVqf3NOeg

Hannah from London

https://www.speakpipe.com/messages

John

https://www.google.com/voice/fm/00557165274674955804/AHwOX_AKbLS03MT2R7ZLzt2kqqmesHaJhvNxEgST_YqTTZnxc-EPSgPJg0uAgjj5gM_2zJqwRj8Mz_B1i_nq0InWGhghZCaxwGeLtcanEGJuSQbEPLO3xt4UBdvq1tQc1_CAO4ZFeNN2dqRwN9GQxbTKtxm9ZQGaYw

What would you say to the new guy about Step 8?

Had to cancel our regularly scheduled episode on Step 8.  Join us next week as we dive into this topic.  In the meantime, enjoy Joe and Charlie as they discuss Step 8.

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The Big Book

The 12 and 12

24 Hours a Day

The Twelve and Twelve tells us that “the whole emphasis of Step Seven is on humility.”  We first looked at humility in the Third Step when we made a decision to turn our will and our lives over to the care of God.  Without some humility, no alcoholic can stay sober, no Al-Anon can stay serene.  Our experience has shown us that without humility, we cannot live a purposeful life.  AA teaches us that a useful life is one in the service of others.  This may be a bit tricky for the Al-Anon since we so often are worried about others that we forget about ourselves.

Bill Wilson explains humility this way, “As long as we placed self-reliance first, genuine reliance upon a Higher Power was out of the question.  That basic ingredient of humility is a desire to seek and do God’s will.”  When we live life run on self will, humility is missing.  Humility, we discover, is not something to re resisted, but something to be accepted.  

Bill Wilson wrote that the process of accepting humility “was unbelievably painful.  It was only by repeated humiliations that we were forced to learn something about humility.”  Taking the Third Step was a bold example of spiritual humility because it was a decision to turn our will and our lives over to the care of God.  With the Seventh Step, we have an opportunity to put that decision into practice by asking God to do something specific for us.  We are humbly asking God to remove our character defects.  We are saying your will, not mine.   But we must accept the terms, conditions, and timetable that our Higher Power has in mind.

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The Big Book

The 12 and 12

24 Hours a Day

We conducted a survey so that our listeners can help us understand this step

We posed the question, “What does humble mean to you?”

The possible responses were …

https://www.surveymonkey.com/analyze/eZfqbdNAalFL8WtGq8cIf7nLG1usZk4JSs8edkIhoFw_3D’

What is interesting is that this survey proves that we people in a 12-step recovery program have our own language.

The possible responses I provided in the survey sent to our listeners came directly from the definition of humble in the dictionary.

But “other” was the second most popular response.

In other words, being humble means something different to AAs than normal people.

So ,? let’s discuss how we understand this step and how humility plays a role.

What does it mean to you to be humble?

How are you humble?  How can I become more humble?

What does the term “humbly ask” mean to you?

Before program, what did you think of humility? Was it a positive/negative?

Before program, did you experience humiliation?

What is the difference between humility and humiliation?

What are “our shortcomings?”

How is Step 3 related to Step 7?

How does acceptance relate to Step 7?

What is the Seventh Step Prayer?

The Seventh Step Prayer
from page 76 of the Big Book of Alcoholics Anonymous
My Creator,
I am now willing that You should have all of me,
good and bad.
I pray that You now remove from me
every single defect of character which stands in the way
of my usefulness to You and my fellows.
Grant me strength, as I go out from here,
to do Your bidding.
Amen

What does it mean to you that God “should have all of me, good and bad?”

In this prayer, character defects stand in the was of being useful to others and God.  What does this mean to you?

What does it mean to you “to do your bidding?”

We  have Calls

Kurt

https://www.google.com/voice/fm/00557165274674955804/AHwOX_DSgX5xQO_ctfgHN07nOiGUFPnVMMmKN_kVq06FWPA9D3oeaxiMOLEiOvSYb_LPSZrHnbWALRGYhmkFmwtcLJuOzDPIgMTY3TcxLta-tKAkVQXhOPXHoAc2e_BTS8QmwFl6araH0SAucKZSwK36ivPcsiMbRw

Scott

https://www.google.com/voice/fm/00557165274674955804/AHwOX_AjH-QjECcwXnaO3e8HC9BiBF65sxdPXyb-TWrJBSMP8XMDXq5fj1oR6S4g0Btwcf1WOtZ1DFDen0oUMl1A4t4FgLLr0XiaBgQO5fD1KI864-jU19ap6XCO_zWuOyokPG4caWI0qDmbQpnDe1l7t7FytHhoxg

Clyde from Shelby Township

https://www.google.com/voice/fm/00557165274674955804/AHwOX_CRVTLspvpZnBbDFlvc0KukAlaeMeLlAOrKFx3TgYNzi6bnDWT1AoJQZSGsBZCx2UyWSwYfujNOJaXz-20NZWbMNOhf69jSkFqc8iCjJApR8andkti12TGR4ZDfRIZs3GkNqAJDqdpu6cs7_yASlf7F4wcLNQ

Tony

https://www.speakpipe.com/messages

Russ

https://mail.google.com/mail/u/0/#inbox/153104558a23eb60?projector=1

Alex

https://www.google.com/voice/fm/00557165274674955804/AHwOX_An1NUf9Ezj_Sg_R0A9vvVf-5sHs5zSWuBqGgniquJmBcAKDJToW5XBp0tK5MHAh13UxE6Ufo-k7wAAlLcWd-RMEtEeHC1IYKn3RtYHIHV_vt2SVAtGNBrQMFKRxojoYaFx2EHf5DWevttD0vh9EMIxXbaUfQ

How about now, have you been humiliated in recovery?

Is there a difference in how you responded to humiliated between before and after program?

What would you say to the new person faced with Step 7 for the first time?

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The Big Book

The 12 and 12

24 Hours a Day

Step 6 addresses the issue of our readiness to have removed the defects of character we identified in Step 4.  After the hard work of the previous two steps, this step seems quick and easy.  Not much is required in terms of action, but our experience is that a great deal is required both emotionally and spiritually.  Ultimately, this Step asks us if we are willing to behave different.

If we do not recognize a problem, we cannot solve it.  Working Step 6 allows us to see our problem clearly.  This Step focuses our attention on our willingness to give up defects of character, even defects that we enjoy.  But we know that all character defects can lead us back to our addictions, even the character defects that we like.  Step 6 allows us the ability to see even those pleasurable defects and ncourages us to find a spiritual solution.

We conducted a survey of our listeners this week.

We simply asked, “Have you worked step 6?”

Let’s look at the results

Listener Survey Results

Let's start with you ??,

what was your initial reaction to his step early in your program and

What was your understanding of this step?

What does the term “defects of character” mean to you?

Coming off of Step 5, what are some of the character defects that you wanted to be rid of?

As you were working Step 6, what character defect did you want to hold onto?

What problems have your favorite character defect caused you?

What does it mean to be “entirely ready”?

Why do you need God’s help and why can’t you rely on self-will?

How is the removal of character defect related to the restoration of your sanity?

If someone is not willing, how can they become willing?

We Have Calls

Mandy

https://www.speakpipe.com/messages

Alex

https://www.google.com/voice/fm/00557165274674955804/AHwOX_DhJbhgObrJ8TjXMRXNIP_fSEmckhxO9NcGAYsuxmmAAnfQ6Tmf2tzEp3HOVwj3Qt6GX3fl54jmqTrlRxlttWJkTLe2h2OMfC8zAyQswFQF7ijzD4SYV7gy0O-nxLYLZjIw5OSJKsiedQ9sPpDrm-sJfXcmOg

Mark G

https://www.google.com/voice/fm/00557165274674955804/AHwOX_Df_QsD9d2ZRQ1JtTvVxtS7gao_9nE3EDd20H88eehpvbAZl09FwBzPQh0-ND_U4juWvs0R-7e1kQQ3fvcuKBYLXC2bHy8NqyYMO1HCVNqnS5ezzx6wNnPPLXsjYk2q1BP5DeUgkAJsiM3g4ZjTIDOkyfnE4Q

Justin P

https://www.google.com/voice/fm/00557165274674955804/AHwOX_DP2-urAI2D1OmMgW7hmXpdMlJSmDpVMuzmf1s61BIvOeLd-CLVX_ZHsTuBWhopWm88mad_n5UVl3U_gZTt4Wrnd9_QVrQ7scKGqn2GVjLJd2QEiWrCccxx9WsiY5VJqHbbbTfq4_zH-fvvPdC9G-lglPQpcA

Chris S.

https://www.speakpipe.com/messages

Clyde

https://www.google.com/voice/fm/00557165274674955804/AHwOX_DKqeGgeXjded4vbXmNxrjJN5KZGIhy7p4_kOn9DWx8FZ-fKhap3TgNtDcnCPfuiVOI7M6g8y2wWmkEq2sfpC1_32F67-Tr1gYtHqJvUzJCaRWq67aszIRWv9i6bmh8EeQKNVpxnehXDfg6BRYliaXgTbeW6A

Russ and Linda

https://mail.google.com/mail/u/0/#inbox/152ebb40edd8e237?projector=1

What would you say to the new person faced with Step 6 for the first time?

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The Big Book

The 12 and 12

24 Hours a Day

In this step, we admit to God, to ourselves, and to another person the exact nature of the wrongs we have committed as the result of our character defects.  It is one thing to admit these wrongs and defects secretly to ourselves and quite another to write them down on paper and see them in black and white.  It is still humbling to admit them to another human being.  That final admission makes them more real and more painful to us, while, at the same time, removes some of their power.

Step five is another action Step and ego-deflating experience.  The AA Twelve and Twelve tells us that “scarcely any Step is more necessary to longtime sobriety and peace of mind than this one.”  Although all of the Twelve Steps deflate our ego,, “when it comes to ego deflation, few Steps are harder to take than Five.”  

What was your understanding of this step early in your program?

What is it now?

How long did it take for you to first attempt your Fifth step?

How long did it take once you started?

What were some of the barriers to you starting the Fifth Step?

What were some of the barriers to completing your Fifth Step?

What is Ego deflation is relation to Step 5 and how does that help in your recovery?

What is rigorous honesty and why is that important to you?

When you took your Fifth Step, what were that patterns of your behavior?

What part of your character did you want to change?

How did you choose who heard your Step 5?

What qualities did you want?

What are the objectives of Step 5 for you?

Clyde From Shelby Township

https://www.google.com/voice/fm/00557165274674955804/AHwOX_DgPE2RNyK0VKX3QYscG2f42dTwkIjAMD103Ry_OWIFLQpcOWczFbN4lIDqNmQPD1za_8P5hB_57bnzi-TV3tQEwHQuyWfivaIpH-5vwJLeiBXewURAN1K3qWIltCSdz9rdnKOkqtkq4BB_zNFwMV_QzjBMPA

Alex from Austin

https://www.google.com/voice/fm/00557165274674955804/AHwOX_BqoUgmVHLT_6ckkFmyp1_BA7NOvGWCHF-bykHZvp29wQfTROR6rkfvvZpxh-DuRW6JWjuIKW2LeL5sLDbr5c4nH6DvwXq9wpK8CbFcSleqWAWrYKe3dULw9yMqx-LIdWfaG_3WggPpk_YaA441G2w41Dk6-g

Marty from Canton

https://www.google.com/voice/fm/00557165274674955804/AHwOX_CGI_x68UxVQqp4Y9rOl629BJs6lmod5jl7olK6b7PadN_WFPw7bmpMsxbmrYAeW5ywEaoCrcSfOKWI9dQeJSHNAahGKTNqHNqQ4ahsLOhgYqLnV4ykQ3n_pDcXUAD4q0NsRFQUGrHzx7nRfp3IRgSFSEfbxQ

Justin from LA

https://www.google.com/voice/fm/00557165274674955804/AHwOX_Be2SfqmBjKfrg0SCrgPD6R-aGnAgFuFLHKAvPgAqMqFmwnyABUT49Q3ahGHOp3s2qrxAFMuRfHd0CLWRb6IjvmU9vAU8aPXsL_DOq7MGUm7KpVh-Ko5PbXJU9vnCSZNrMNBnBst_pbullUcSgG9BD32q9-Yw

Did you see a relationship between your wreckage of the past and your character defects?

Did you identify behaviors of your past that you wanted to put in the past and start clean?

What about guilt and remorse, did you experience this?  Did Step 5 help make this a positive?

What about forgiveness, did you feel this for others?  Yourself?

Did this Step help you become free of the past?  How?

What would you say to the new guy about step 5?

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The Big Book

The 12 and 12

24 Hours a Day

The Fourth Step brings us to a specific course of action that the AA Big Book describes as “vigorous.”  It is a “personal house-cleaning which many of had never attempted.”  The Fourth Step strengthens the decision we made in the Third Step and helps us carry it out.  According to the AA Big Book, unless we make a “strenuous effort to face, and to be rid of, the things in ourselves which have been blocking us,” our decision to turn our will and our lives over to the care of God as we understand Him can “have little permanent effect.”

The Fourth Step is necessary to continue the progress we have made in the first three Steps.   The AA Big Book uses the analogy of taking a business inventory to describe our Fourth Step work.  The purpose of an inventory is to identify the stock that is old, obsolete or spoiled so that it can be thrown out and replaced with stock that can be used or sold.  Our moral inventory serves the same purpose.

What was your understanding of this step early in your program?

What is it now?

How long did it take for you to first attempt your fourth step?

How long did it take once you started?

What were some of the barriers to you starting the Fourth Step?

What were some of the barriers to completing your Fourth Step?

What is an inventory and what is its purpose?

What does the term searching and fearless mean to you?

Why moral inventory?

We Have Calls

Clyde

https://www.google.com/voice/fm/00557165274674955804/AHwOX_AReeja5r7ig1jYTGYZo_hzHo08szp1xF2rgku5vLqWm_1gpU3p09-EevM5bzgBka66s5rulbCON0ERWgt2bntO7WJv6XFS13RPOBh64BzUop107U5hGEwFGlc-AI0FiZd-bYDqfLC9gO8Pjz84PuCOiY-OHw

Tony

https://www.google.com/voice/fm/00557165274674955804/AHwOX_A-zCrmh1fWm73lyjHtPZm-llJixtj1ZeCbA1IJ7kFLOH2snZsFZc3QIfG0LQ143huL3H6wv9ZS0oTZqPPhJLBwSPT3XlgIh-wuOOKjIN-GGarqjdNhX-vU4VJan0gk85dMYXSg7UG748X-DP0kWrjdrqa49w

https://www.google.com/voice/fm/00557165274674955804/AHwOX_D3sHY7BgVAS4ixIgkdxtFLogn9yzJmE-Fuqj-mRfHUMtCPFB5mKM6pI7V-WzUrKp5M-Gbb486L59Sd8vo38h4-_U1s24h6Bf8kMYCPrypjjNpouAapdWcEM1GjXNR4J6O0tV2ZCU0M1seIR15KijwiAB13-Q

Why should the inventory be written?

What format did you use?

What is a resentment and why is it the number one offender?

What would you say to the new person about Step 4?

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The Big Book

The 12 and 12

24 Hours a Day

Today I am joined with Michael Weinberger

A Plan For Living

Michael is a husband father entrepreneur

and Michael successfully navigates his busy life

with unparalleled optimism.

But, like many of our Recovered Podcast listeners, Michael navigates life with plenty of obstacles and challenges

and that is the subject of this episode

Michael has battled Bipolar depression and an eating disorder.

Through Michael's life experiences, he has developed some coping skills that he Would like to share with the Recovered Podcast audience.

Michael, welcome to the stdio, welcome to the Recovered podcast

Do you participate in any 12-step recovery program?

Michael please, let our listeners hear some of your story

Where did you get the idea of the website apalnforliving.com?

What are your goals for aplanforliving.com?

Why did you laumch aplanforliving.com?

What are some of the features of the site?

What is The Happiness Formula?

What is Mindfulness?

Tell us some website tools to assist in developing these skills?

Who is the targeted audience?

What do you hope that users will get out of using your website?

Does it cost?

What other sites do you use/like?

Why is aplanforliving.com important?

What are some misconceptions of mental illness?

What are some misconceptions of eating disorders?

How do you use the 12-step plan of recovery?

What is the number one reason why people with mental illness don’t get help?

What is the number 1 reason why people with eating disorders don’t get help?

What would you say to someone who is battling depression and doesn’t know what to do?

What would you say to someone who is eating disorders and doesn’t know what to do?

Call us at 1-734-288-7510 or tap Speakpipe

Join the Chat Room, Tap Live stream and Chat Room

email at [email protected]

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The Big Book

The 12 and 12

24 Hours a Day

With the first step, we accepted the fundamental problem we face as alcoholics,

our powerlessness over alcohol and the unmanageability of our lives.  

In the second step, we found the nature of our solution:

a Power greater than ourselves who could restore us to sanity.  ‘

In the third step, we discover how to make use of that solution by

turning our will and our lives over to the care of that power.

Step 3 has been summarized as:  

I can’t, God can, I think I’ll let him

The 12 and 12 says,

... the effectiveness of the whole AA program will

rest upon how well and earnestly we have tried to

come to a decision to turn our will and our lives

over to the care of God as we understood him.”

Steps 1, 2, and 3 are the foundation of our program.

Let's go to you first Cristie,

what are your initial thoughts on this topic?

where do you want to start?

What does it mean to you to make a decision?

What does the phrase “God as we understood him” mean to you?

What is your concept of God?

What does it mean to turn ‘our will and lives over to the care of God” to you?

What is the difference between a life run on self-will and a life that follows God’s will?

How well as self-will served you?

What does “self-centeredness is the root of our troubles” mean to you?

What is a recent example of exercising self-will rather than following God’s will?

How can you know God’s will?

How does prayer and meditation help you discover God’s will?

How is humility different than humiliation?

What reservations have you had about turning your will over to the care of God?

Is recovery God’s will for you?  How do you know?

How is “taking it back” and “turning it over” related?

What prayers do you use to get/stay centered in times of difficulty?

We have Calls

Scott

https://www.google.com/voice/fm/00557165274674955804/AHwOX_BaAWAVSoyf2pCvHDWaauRhZCxwDhNwn5mfanSKKWos5RDEGNwdxD2P_hgforoGSfi2Sbu7gAg2sL9KjTiX7RqOHy3OWBL-tVopbNcXciIV3FVUfanIE18GVQ3VdLM0xpSG60eCiLY9ipQ8w-piibzJ5gva0g

Erika

https://www.google.com/voice/fm/00557165274674955804/AHwOX_Bo8v9jDrWe8OYZ-JBR3h45fRECeD1sTuB8WNJe1Meunqd0zNRfSjXywxC3W3yGGIP5xpFupQU74PdvG1sFGL9XTQss-wFhUEiUeNgCdhHZSW_djkFBe-SpUTepMTWrFinJxzuF6WOzPWqTwFiH9dv90Hi8ng

Clyde

https://www.google.com/voice/fm/00557165274674955804/AHwOX_DDK6NzEfoOZjOwOJapyRfNjeBI1C_fC_j7Du6JFyos_VX15Mym0FMqw-Fou9BhMfEE0toid4ds1_X5GlH29yKVN1K_6IENEPvemkAUKTKLT093kfzZZvafdT2WTrfdcRoFPGQWd8lSJh07_ZXimeig06dSLw

Dora From Boston

https://www.google.com/voice/fm/00557165274674955804/AHwOX_BlgBt-zj8xusKPENzhqtdTxdTmnSJ9VeHpyl2jDyyPpje13wR1LW4EChgA8ppDxyjHHUetrezFFntZfFEVOVcrg2OszRNRQD-bu472c4gZBrS6XgsL41M1Ed7vXrE0Slh_yZujBd4EpxLyw7FCvUiAoQgsPA

Alex

https://www.google.com/voice/fm/00557165274674955804/AHwOX_AUFz880LGOqbQ6frj6gU4L2DvOD4JwkiNvuOUeOfEDf-QYO-RjNvEK3ZFWVGLcPocSCyKfjANPMzlgimQixIzz02rkeMkLtQlmh0qLxAMv2BzqkDFs1xpUYSZ3j_-JUQZA6QXKuWIvdtwjjseYfyzMowgzIg

Vicky

https://www.speakpipe.com/msg/p/50344/82/mvkylmxabcogwqrdwdn7bumow4eno0ooxw2l3rh2zrcr5

Buddy

https://www.google.com/voice/fm/00557165274674955804/AHwOX_Br59cP78xebIDB6BfkpVZ-E1xV2RMgTvAgc__UNWfNRNq77e5vYB194vWYgi6J7Rtp4AgTuNixb85vhteVrxAhXtjJvsNGnsnOCdSciXtEgBBuN2OC3yyJSgx52BslZnbrooWp066dxni6h7hh5ESfAuw5EQ

What would you say to the new person about step 3?