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Hi friends! I have been hearing so many parents tell me that they feel overwhelmed trying to figure out how to balance work and family life. I know this can be stressful so I thought of a different way for us to approach this problem. 

What if we asked ourselves "How do I want to design my life?". What do I need more of in my life? What do I need less of?

Let's try taking this more proactive approach to our lives rather than we keep saying we are aiming for "work-life" (whatever that means!). 

I hope you enjoy today's episode! Make sure you subscribe to the podcast!

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Happy Mother's Day!

I wanted to post today on Mother's Day because of the conversations I have been having with moms all week. 

It helped me realize that so many of us are powering through motherhood not addressing our needs or communicating them to those around us. 

Take 20 min out of your day today to listen to this quick solo episode and remind yourself how important your needs are!

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In this episode of the Reflective Parenting Podcast, I chat with Albiona Rakipi who is a parent coach. I love her work and it is well-aligned with the research I read around co-regulation and teaching kids how to regulate emotions. 

If you are a parent that often questions what to do DURING a tantrum, then this episode is for you. You will learn her simple method that makes it easy to know what to do and what to say to your toddler. 

You will also learn about the importance of co-regulation!

Learn more from Albiona:

The Parenting Reframe: https://www.theparentingreframe.com

https://www.instagram.com/theparentingreframe/

https://albiona.substack.com/podcast

Watch this episode on YouTube:

https://youtu.be/ioh03sCbQ88

Read a research study on tantrums:

Read a short blog post on our website about tantrums:

https://curiousneuron.com/2025/05/04/how-warmth-not-harsh-discipline-helps-toddlers-behave-better/

Do maternal power assertive discipline and warmth interact to influence toddlers' emotional reactivity and noncompliance?

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https://tremendous-hustler-7333.kit.com/84371dc0b2

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https://curiousneuron.com/reflective-parent-club/

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In today’s episode, we dive into the science of overparenting and explore what research says about its impact on children’s mental health. I break down a recent meta-analysis that shows how overparenting is linked to higher levels of depression, anxiety, and emotional struggles in kids and young adults. We also explore Self-Determination Theory—the idea that kids need autonomy, competence, and connection to thrive—and how overparenting can unintentionally block these critical needs. 

I’ll help you reflect on what overparenting might look like at home, with real-life examples for younger and older kids. Tune in to find out if you might be leaning into helicopter parenting and how you can support your child’s independence, resilience, and confidence instead.

Sources:

Overparenting and offspring depression, anxiety, and internalizing symptoms: A meta-analysis

Read the blog on curiousneuron.com

https://curiousneuron.com/2025/04/25/are-you-overparenting-what-the-science-says-about-its-impact-on-kids-mental-health/

Watch on YouTube:

https://youtu.be/vnNUmfN-J_g

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Learn more with Curious Neuron:

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https://tremendous-hustler-7333.kit.com/84371dc0b2

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https://curiousneuron.com/reflective-parent-club/

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Boredom is not a problem to solve but an essential skill children must develop for emotional regulation and creative thinking. When parents constantly entertain their children or rescue them from boredom, they unintentionally prevent crucial developmental growth. In today's replay episode (this is the second most downloaded episode of our podcast!) I chat with Susie Allison, founder of Busy Toddler with over 2 MILLION followers.

• Boredom is where creativity, problem-solving, and intrinsic motivation are born
• Children as young as babies can practice independent play when parents allow them space
• "Boredom busters" should be avoided - instead, honor the emotion but don't rush to fix it
• Screen time should be a predictable, scheduled tool for parents, not a boredom solution for kids
• Play shouldn't always involve adults - independent, unstructured play is where deep learning happens
• Start small with independent play - use a visual timer for young children to understand timeframes
• Creating the right environment with fewer, more intentional toys helps children engage independently
• Neurodivergent children may need different approaches to handling boredom
• Child-led play means letting children determine how they use toys without adult interference
• Expensive toys aren't necessarily better - simple household items often make the best play materials

Try the Reflective Parent Club for free for seven days to build emotion regulation skills and join our supportive community. Visit CuriousNeuron.com to access resources and learn more about supporting your child's emotional development.

Learn more from Susie on Instagram

https://busytoddler.com/

Support the show

Learn more with Curious Neuron:

Snapping at your kid? Get this FREE training to learn how to catch your nervous system in overdrive BEFORE you snap!

https://tremendous-hustler-7333.kit.com/84371dc0b2

Read to become a Reflective Parent? Purchase our course below:

https://curiousneuron.com/reflective-parent-club/

Email: [email protected]

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Dr. Miriam Kirmayer, clinical psychologist and friendship expert, joins Cindy to discuss the profound impact of friendships on our psychological well-being and how we can cultivate meaningful connections despite the challenges of parenthood.

Here is what we discussed:
• Social connections are one of the most powerful predictors of health, happiness, and longevity
• The "over-under" phenomenon: we overestimate the effort relationships take and underestimate their benefits
• Loneliness during parenthood is normal and serves as a signal of our need for connection
• Even brief interactions (10 minutes) with friends can significantly impact our overall happiness
• Different friendships serve different purposes – identify which ones provide restoration versus maintenance
• Self-reflection helps determine which relationships align with your values and current needs
• Vulnerability and imperfection create stronger connections than projecting a perfect image
• Friendship skills are actually a constellation of different abilities that develop throughout life
• Workplace connections are powerful drivers of wellbeing, productivity, and organizational success
• When we prioritize our friendships, we model for our children that relationships are worth investing in

Watch this on YouTube and share this episode:

https://youtu.be/QNsB7iFxC5c

Learn more from Dr. Kirmayer:

https://www.miriamkirmayer.com/

https://www.instagram.com/miriamkirmayer/

Learn more about psychological well-being:
https://pmc.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/articles/PMC8989714/pdf/nihms-1737166.pdf

Support the show

Learn more with Curious Neuron:

Snapping at your kid? Get this FREE training to learn how to catch your nervous system in overdrive BEFORE you snap!

https://tremendous-hustler-7333.kit.com/84371dc0b2

Read to become a Reflective Parent? Purchase our course below:

https://curiousneuron.com/reflective-parent-club/

Email: [email protected]

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The one mistake many parents make when disciplining their children is forgetting to teach the underlying skills needed for emotional regulation. Focusing only on consequences without addressing skill development leaves children unable to manage emotions like disappointment and frustration.

• The purpose of discipline should be education, not just punishment
• Children need to learn how to regulate emotions like disappointment before they can behave appropriately
• Co-regulation requires parents to first recognize and manage their own emotional state
• When children are dysregulated, they need connection before correction
• Creating "scaffolding" helps build skills gradually through small, manageable challenges
• Waiting until both parent and child are regulated before teaching new skills
• Skills like patience, emotional expression, and frustration tolerance must be explicitly taught
• Disciplining without teaching skills creates a cycle of continued misbehavior
• Reflection helps parents see past the behavior to the emotional need underneath

Watch this on YouTube!

https://youtu.be/SQKD_D7jglY

Join the Reflective Parent Club for weekly coaching calls and support in developing emotion regulation skills. Visit curiousneuron.com for articles, resources, and a free 7-day trial of the club.

Support the show

Learn more with Curious Neuron:

Snapping at your kid? Get this FREE training to learn how to catch your nervous system in overdrive BEFORE you snap!

https://tremendous-hustler-7333.kit.com/84371dc0b2

Read to become a Reflective Parent? Purchase our course below:

https://curiousneuron.com/reflective-parent-club/

Email: [email protected]

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Dr's Cindy Hovington and Kristina Calder explore perimenopause, the hormonal transition that begins in women's 40s and significantly impacts mental health, energy, and body composition.

• Perimenopause often starts in your 40s but can begin as early as late 30s
• Symptoms include irregular periods, insomnia, anxiety, joint pain, mood swings, and diminished stress resilience
• Declining estrogen affects the GABA-ergic system in the brain, explaining increased anxiety and mood changes
• Strength training becomes crucial during perimenopause to maintain muscle mass and metabolic health
• Most women need significantly more protein than they consume (aim for your ideal body weight in grams)
• Practical supplements include magnesium for sleep, omega-3s for inflammation, creatine for muscle and brain health
• Heart health requires special attention as declining estrogen increases cardiovascular risks

Visit curiousneuron.com for more resources or join the Reflective Parent Club if you need more personalized support with emotional regulation.

Follow Dr. Calder on Instagram:

https://www.instagram.com/drkristinacalder/

Sources mentioned by Kristina:

https://www.drstacysims.com/nextlevel

https://www.lisamosconi.com/the-menopause-brain

https://peterattiamd.com/outlive/?_gl=1*1bp6al5*_up*MQ..*_ga*MTEzODc2NTAxNi4xNzM5OTg0Mzk5*_ga_1CG74LFGNE*MTczOTk4NDM5OS4xLjAuMTczOTk4NDM5OS4wLjAuMA..

https://pubmed.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/39077777/

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Learn more with Curious Neuron:

Snapping at your kid? Get this FREE training to learn how to catch your nervous system in overdrive BEFORE you snap!

https://tremendous-hustler-7333.kit.com/84371dc0b2

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https://curiousneuron.com/reflective-parent-club/

Email: [email protected]

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Ever caught yourself rattling off an endless list of reminders to your partner before they take the kids somewhere? "Don't forget snacks, water bottles, jackets..." Sound familiar? In this illuminating episode, I share a personal revelation that transformed my understanding of parenting partnerships.

The awakening came when my mother called with a simple request—take my grandmother to her hair appointment—but followed with an exhaustive list of instructions. As frustration mounted within me ("Does she think I'm incompetent?"), I suddenly recognized this same pattern in my own behavior toward my husband. This moment of clarity prompted an immediate apology and deeper reflection on how our well-intentioned reminders can actually undermine our partners.

The episode explores practical approaches to healthier communication: setting clear goals before difficult conversations, being mindful about how we begin discussions (as this predicts how they'll end), and creating safe spaces for honest dialogue. By shifting from "do this, don't forget that" to "do you have any questions?" we honor our partners' competence while still addressing needs.

This isn't just about smoother partnerships—it's about modelling healthy relationship skills for our children. When they witness parents communicating with respect and allowing space for mistakes and learning, they absorb these patterns for their own relationships.

Support the show

Learn more with Curious Neuron:

Snapping at your kid? Get this FREE training to learn how to catch your nervous system in overdrive BEFORE you snap!

https://tremendous-hustler-7333.kit.com/84371dc0b2

Read to become a Reflective Parent? Purchase our course below:

https://curiousneuron.com/reflective-parent-club/

Email: [email protected]

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What can the dying teach us about living? In this transformative conversation, Dr. Kathy Zhang, a palliative care physician, shares profound insights from her work with patients at the end of life that can revolutionize our approach to parenting and emotional wellbeing.

Dr. Zhang reveals how witnessing death daily has paradoxically enhanced her appreciation for life's simple joys. Rather than creating fear, regular exposure to mortality has normalized it, allowing her to find deep gratitude in mundane moments like "just waking up." This perspective shift offers parents a powerful lens through which to view their daily interactions with their children.

The conversation takes an unexpected turn as Dr. Zhang introduces her "bathtub metaphor" to explain the crucial difference between rest and restoration. Many parents mistakenly believe that "doing nothing" on weekends will recharge them, then wonder why they feel just as depleted on Monday. She explains that rest merely "plugs the drain" to prevent further energy loss, while true restoration actively "adds water to the bathtub" through meaningful connection with yourself or others.

About Dr. Zhang:

Dr. Luyi Kathy Zhang is a hospice & palliative care physician, TEDx speaker & hypnotist. She has comforted thousands of dying patients and held space for their deepest secrets, biggest regrets and final wishes. She’s made it her mission to share these life-changing insights so people can benefit from deathbed wisdom while they’re still young and healthy. 

Follow Dr. Zhang on Instagram:

https://www.instagram.com/dr.luyikathyzhang/

Support the show

Learn more with Curious Neuron:

Snapping at your kid? Get this FREE training to learn how to catch your nervous system in overdrive BEFORE you snap!

https://tremendous-hustler-7333.kit.com/84371dc0b2

Read to become a Reflective Parent? Purchase our course below:

https://curiousneuron.com/reflective-parent-club/

Email: [email protected]