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Boredom is not a problem to solve but an essential skill children must develop for emotional regulation and creative thinking. When parents constantly entertain their children or rescue them from boredom, they unintentionally prevent crucial developmental growth. In today's replay episode (this is the second most downloaded episode of our podcast!) I chat with Susie Allison, founder of Busy Toddler with over 2 MILLION followers.

• Boredom is where creativity, problem-solving, and intrinsic motivation are born
• Children as young as babies can practice independent play when parents allow them space
• "Boredom busters" should be avoided - instead, honor the emotion but don't rush to fix it
• Screen time should be a predictable, scheduled tool for parents, not a boredom solution for kids
• Play shouldn't always involve adults - independent, unstructured play is where deep learning happens
• Start small with independent play - use a visual timer for young children to understand timeframes
• Creating the right environment with fewer, more intentional toys helps children engage independently
• Neurodivergent children may need different approaches to handling boredom
• Child-led play means letting children determine how they use toys without adult interference
• Expensive toys aren't necessarily better - simple household items often make the best play materials

Try the Reflective Parent Club for free for seven days to build emotion regulation skills and join our supportive community. Visit CuriousNeuron.com to access resources and learn more about supporting your child's emotional development.

Learn more from Susie on Instagram

https://busytoddler.com/

Read a study about boredom

Support the show

More ways to become a Reflective Parent with Curious Neuron:

Join our NEW book club for only $9.99!

https://reflectiveparentclub.circle.so/checkout/reflective-parenting-podcast-book-club

Learn about the next books we will be covering:

https://curiousneuron.com/podcast/

Get your FREE emotional awareness training for parents and kids below (comes with a poster, workbook and video):

https://tremendous-hustler-7333.kit.com/84371dc0b2

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=w4iEbFRZ5QQ&t=12s

Grab our course for $99, The Emotionally Aware Parent 

https://curiousneuron.com/reflective-parent-club/

Join the next 6-8 week cohort for parents, kids or teens:

https://curiousneuron.com/reflective-parent-club/

Or email me [email protected] to book emotional training sessions for your organization. 

Send us Fan Mail

Dr. Miriam Kirmayer, clinical psychologist and friendship expert, joins Cindy to discuss the profound impact of friendships on our psychological well-being and how we can cultivate meaningful connections despite the challenges of parenthood.

Here is what we discussed:
• Social connections are one of the most powerful predictors of health, happiness, and longevity
• The "over-under" phenomenon: we overestimate the effort relationships take and underestimate their benefits
• Loneliness during parenthood is normal and serves as a signal of our need for connection
• Even brief interactions (10 minutes) with friends can significantly impact our overall happiness
• Different friendships serve different purposes – identify which ones provide restoration versus maintenance
• Self-reflection helps determine which relationships align with your values and current needs
• Vulnerability and imperfection create stronger connections than projecting a perfect image
• Friendship skills are actually a constellation of different abilities that develop throughout life
• Workplace connections are powerful drivers of wellbeing, productivity, and organizational success
• When we prioritize our friendships, we model for our children that relationships are worth investing in

Watch this on YouTube and share this episode:

https://youtu.be/QNsB7iFxC5c

Learn more from Dr. Kirmayer:

https://www.miriamkirmayer.com/

https://www.instagram.com/miriamkirmayer/

Learn more about psychological well-being:
https://pmc.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/articles/PMC8989714/pdf/nihms-1737166.pdf

Support the show

More ways to become a Reflective Parent with Curious Neuron:

Join our NEW book club for only $9.99!

https://reflectiveparentclub.circle.so/checkout/reflective-parenting-podcast-book-club

Learn about the next books we will be covering:

https://curiousneuron.com/podcast/

Get your FREE emotional awareness training for parents and kids below (comes with a poster, workbook and video):

https://tremendous-hustler-7333.kit.com/84371dc0b2

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=w4iEbFRZ5QQ&t=12s

Grab our course for $99, The Emotionally Aware Parent 

https://curiousneuron.com/reflective-parent-club/

Join the next 6-8 week cohort for parents, kids or teens:

https://curiousneuron.com/reflective-parent-club/

Or email me [email protected] to book emotional training sessions for your organization. 

Send us Fan Mail

The one mistake many parents make when disciplining their children is forgetting to teach the underlying skills needed for emotional regulation. Focusing only on consequences without addressing skill development leaves children unable to manage emotions like disappointment and frustration.

• The purpose of discipline should be education, not just punishment
• Children need to learn how to regulate emotions like disappointment before they can behave appropriately
• Co-regulation requires parents to first recognize and manage their own emotional state
• When children are dysregulated, they need connection before correction
• Creating "scaffolding" helps build skills gradually through small, manageable challenges
• Waiting until both parent and child are regulated before teaching new skills
• Skills like patience, emotional expression, and frustration tolerance must be explicitly taught
• Disciplining without teaching skills creates a cycle of continued misbehavior
• Reflection helps parents see past the behavior to the emotional need underneath

Watch this on YouTube!

https://youtu.be/SQKD_D7jglY

Join the Reflective Parent Club for weekly coaching calls and support in developing emotion regulation skills. Visit curiousneuron.com for articles, resources, and a free 7-day trial of the club.

Support the show

More ways to become a Reflective Parent with Curious Neuron:

Join our NEW book club for only $9.99!

https://reflectiveparentclub.circle.so/checkout/reflective-parenting-podcast-book-club

Learn about the next books we will be covering:

https://curiousneuron.com/podcast/

Get your FREE emotional awareness training for parents and kids below (comes with a poster, workbook and video):

https://tremendous-hustler-7333.kit.com/84371dc0b2

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=w4iEbFRZ5QQ&t=12s

Grab our course for $99, The Emotionally Aware Parent 

https://curiousneuron.com/reflective-parent-club/

Join the next 6-8 week cohort for parents, kids or teens:

https://curiousneuron.com/reflective-parent-club/

Or email me [email protected] to book emotional training sessions for your organization. 

Send us Fan Mail

Dr's Cindy Hovington and Kristina Calder explore perimenopause, the hormonal transition that begins in women's 40s and significantly impacts mental health, energy, and body composition.

• Perimenopause often starts in your 40s but can begin as early as late 30s
• Symptoms include irregular periods, insomnia, anxiety, joint pain, mood swings, and diminished stress resilience
• Declining estrogen affects the GABA-ergic system in the brain, explaining increased anxiety and mood changes
• Strength training becomes crucial during perimenopause to maintain muscle mass and metabolic health
• Most women need significantly more protein than they consume (aim for your ideal body weight in grams)
• Practical supplements include magnesium for sleep, omega-3s for inflammation, creatine for muscle and brain health
• Heart health requires special attention as declining estrogen increases cardiovascular risks

Visit curiousneuron.com for more resources or join the Reflective Parent Club if you need more personalized support with emotional regulation.

Follow Dr. Calder on Instagram:

https://www.instagram.com/drkristinacalder/

Sources mentioned by Kristina:

https://www.drstacysims.com/nextlevel

https://www.lisamosconi.com/the-menopause-brain

https://peterattiamd.com/outlive/?_gl=1*1bp6al5*_up*MQ..*_ga*MTEzODc2NTAxNi4xNzM5OTg0Mzk5*_ga_1CG74LFGNE*MTczOTk4NDM5OS4xLjAuMTczOTk4NDM5OS4wLjAuMA..

https://pubmed.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/39077777/

Support the show

More ways to become a Reflective Parent with Curious Neuron:

Join our NEW book club for only $9.99!

https://reflectiveparentclub.circle.so/checkout/reflective-parenting-podcast-book-club

Learn about the next books we will be covering:

https://curiousneuron.com/podcast/

Get your FREE emotional awareness training for parents and kids below (comes with a poster, workbook and video):

https://tremendous-hustler-7333.kit.com/84371dc0b2

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=w4iEbFRZ5QQ&t=12s

Grab our course for $99, The Emotionally Aware Parent 

https://curiousneuron.com/reflective-parent-club/

Join the next 6-8 week cohort for parents, kids or teens:

https://curiousneuron.com/reflective-parent-club/

Or email me [email protected] to book emotional training sessions for your organization. 

Send us Fan Mail

Ever caught yourself rattling off an endless list of reminders to your partner before they take the kids somewhere? "Don't forget snacks, water bottles, jackets..." Sound familiar? In this illuminating episode, I share a personal revelation that transformed my understanding of parenting partnerships.

The awakening came when my mother called with a simple request—take my grandmother to her hair appointment—but followed with an exhaustive list of instructions. As frustration mounted within me ("Does she think I'm incompetent?"), I suddenly recognized this same pattern in my own behavior toward my husband. This moment of clarity prompted an immediate apology and deeper reflection on how our well-intentioned reminders can actually undermine our partners.

The episode explores practical approaches to healthier communication: setting clear goals before difficult conversations, being mindful about how we begin discussions (as this predicts how they'll end), and creating safe spaces for honest dialogue. By shifting from "do this, don't forget that" to "do you have any questions?" we honor our partners' competence while still addressing needs.

This isn't just about smoother partnerships—it's about modelling healthy relationship skills for our children. When they witness parents communicating with respect and allowing space for mistakes and learning, they absorb these patterns for their own relationships.

Support the show

More ways to become a Reflective Parent with Curious Neuron:

Join our NEW book club for only $9.99!

https://reflectiveparentclub.circle.so/checkout/reflective-parenting-podcast-book-club

Learn about the next books we will be covering:

https://curiousneuron.com/podcast/

Get your FREE emotional awareness training for parents and kids below (comes with a poster, workbook and video):

https://tremendous-hustler-7333.kit.com/84371dc0b2

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=w4iEbFRZ5QQ&t=12s

Grab our course for $99, The Emotionally Aware Parent 

https://curiousneuron.com/reflective-parent-club/

Join the next 6-8 week cohort for parents, kids or teens:

https://curiousneuron.com/reflective-parent-club/

Or email me [email protected] to book emotional training sessions for your organization. 

Send us Fan Mail

What can the dying teach us about living? In this transformative conversation, Dr. Kathy Zhang, a palliative care physician, shares profound insights from her work with patients at the end of life that can revolutionize our approach to parenting and emotional wellbeing.

Dr. Zhang reveals how witnessing death daily has paradoxically enhanced her appreciation for life's simple joys. Rather than creating fear, regular exposure to mortality has normalized it, allowing her to find deep gratitude in mundane moments like "just waking up." This perspective shift offers parents a powerful lens through which to view their daily interactions with their children.

The conversation takes an unexpected turn as Dr. Zhang introduces her "bathtub metaphor" to explain the crucial difference between rest and restoration. Many parents mistakenly believe that "doing nothing" on weekends will recharge them, then wonder why they feel just as depleted on Monday. She explains that rest merely "plugs the drain" to prevent further energy loss, while true restoration actively "adds water to the bathtub" through meaningful connection with yourself or others.

About Dr. Zhang:

Dr. Luyi Kathy Zhang is a hospice & palliative care physician, TEDx speaker & hypnotist. She has comforted thousands of dying patients and held space for their deepest secrets, biggest regrets and final wishes. She’s made it her mission to share these life-changing insights so people can benefit from deathbed wisdom while they’re still young and healthy. 

Follow Dr. Zhang on Instagram:

https://www.instagram.com/dr.luyikathyzhang/

Support the show

More ways to become a Reflective Parent with Curious Neuron:

Join our NEW book club for only $9.99!

https://reflectiveparentclub.circle.so/checkout/reflective-parenting-podcast-book-club

Learn about the next books we will be covering:

https://curiousneuron.com/podcast/

Get your FREE emotional awareness training for parents and kids below (comes with a poster, workbook and video):

https://tremendous-hustler-7333.kit.com/84371dc0b2

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=w4iEbFRZ5QQ&t=12s

Grab our course for $99, The Emotionally Aware Parent 

https://curiousneuron.com/reflective-parent-club/

Join the next 6-8 week cohort for parents, kids or teens:

https://curiousneuron.com/reflective-parent-club/

Or email me [email protected] to book emotional training sessions for your organization. 

Send us Fan Mail

Have you ever felt crushed by the pressure to follow a specific parenting style perfectly? The weight of trying to fit into boxes labeled "positive parenting" or "conscious parenting" leaves many of us feeling inadequate and constantly seeking more information. What if there's a more sustainable approach?

The newly renamed Reflective Parenting Podcast launches with a powerful message: building emotional intelligence skills matters more than following perfect parenting scripts. After speaking with hundreds of parents, I've discovered a common pattern – parents frantically searching for specific advice for each developmental stage, yet never feeling competent or confident in their abilities.

Research shows that parents who struggle with emotional regulation tend to default to authoritarian parenting styles, creating chronically stressed homes and eventually teens who can't regulate their own emotions. This cycle continues unless we intentionally develop four critical domains of emotional intelligence: self-awareness, emotion regulation, parental awareness, and healthy relationship skills.

The reflective parenting approach isn't about memorizing what to say during tantrums or following rigid schedules. It's about developing your ability to pause, notice your emotional patterns, understand your child's unique needs, and respond from a place of genuine presence rather than reactivity. When we build these foundational skills, we gain the confidence to parent our specific children, not generic ones from parenting books.

Ready to break free from parenting labels and build genuine confidence? Join our Reflective Parent Club, where we focus on developing these essential skills together. Visit the link in the show notes to start with a 7-day free trial, or schedule a conversation about your specific parenting challenges. Let's become reflective parents together.

Support the show

More ways to become a Reflective Parent with Curious Neuron:

Join our NEW book club for only $9.99!

https://reflectiveparentclub.circle.so/checkout/reflective-parenting-podcast-book-club

Learn about the next books we will be covering:

https://curiousneuron.com/podcast/

Get your FREE emotional awareness training for parents and kids below (comes with a poster, workbook and video):

https://tremendous-hustler-7333.kit.com/84371dc0b2

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=w4iEbFRZ5QQ&t=12s

Grab our course for $99, The Emotionally Aware Parent 

https://curiousneuron.com/reflective-parent-club/

Join the next 6-8 week cohort for parents, kids or teens:

https://curiousneuron.com/reflective-parent-club/

Or email me [email protected] to book emotional training sessions for your organization. 

Send us Fan Mail

Discover the importance of forging meaningful connections and the healing power of friendships, especially after periods of isolation. In today's episode, I chatted with author of The Connection Recession, Rich Woo. 

We discuss the following key points: 

• Emphasizing connection as essential for mental well-being 
• Personal anecdotes highlighting the necessity of nurturing relationships 
• Strategies to combat loneliness, especially for new parents 
• The value of intentional community engagement in maintaining friendships 
• Addressing barriers like fear of rejection and time management 
• The need for proactive communication in sustaining bonds 

Get his book here:

In Canada or in the US. 

Follow him Rich on Instagram here. 

Support the show

More ways to become a Reflective Parent with Curious Neuron:

Join our NEW book club for only $9.99!

https://reflectiveparentclub.circle.so/checkout/reflective-parenting-podcast-book-club

Learn about the next books we will be covering:

https://curiousneuron.com/podcast/

Get your FREE emotional awareness training for parents and kids below (comes with a poster, workbook and video):

https://tremendous-hustler-7333.kit.com/84371dc0b2

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=w4iEbFRZ5QQ&t=12s

Grab our course for $99, The Emotionally Aware Parent 

https://curiousneuron.com/reflective-parent-club/

Join the next 6-8 week cohort for parents, kids or teens:

https://curiousneuron.com/reflective-parent-club/

Or email me [email protected] to book emotional training sessions for your organization. 

Send us Fan Mail

We discuss the essential balance of parenting, focusing on how allowing children to fail fosters resilience and independence. Jessica Leahy shares insights from her book, The Gift of Failure, highlighting the dangers of over-parenting and the need to embrace failure as a part of learning.

• The significance of letting children experience failure 
• Over-parenting and its effects on children's autonomy 
• Emphasizing the process of learning rather than the end result 
• Strategies for fostering independence in children 
• The role of parental expectations and societal pressures 
• Practical tips for promoting resilience and problem-solving skills 
• Real-life examples demonstrating the advantages of allowing mistakes 
• Resources for parents to further explore these concepts

Research on overparenting:

https://link.springer.com/content/pdf/10.1007/s43076-024-00407-x.pdf

Watch this on YouTube:

https://youtu.be/btVcqD9AQU8

Get The Gift of Failure:

Canada or the US

Follow Jessica on Instagram:

https://www.instagram.com/teacherlahey/

Support the show

More ways to become a Reflective Parent with Curious Neuron:

Join our NEW book club for only $9.99!

https://reflectiveparentclub.circle.so/checkout/reflective-parenting-podcast-book-club

Learn about the next books we will be covering:

https://curiousneuron.com/podcast/

Get your FREE emotional awareness training for parents and kids below (comes with a poster, workbook and video):

https://tremendous-hustler-7333.kit.com/84371dc0b2

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=w4iEbFRZ5QQ&t=12s

Grab our course for $99, The Emotionally Aware Parent 

https://curiousneuron.com/reflective-parent-club/

Join the next 6-8 week cohort for parents, kids or teens:

https://curiousneuron.com/reflective-parent-club/

Or email me [email protected] to book emotional training sessions for your organization. 

Send us Fan Mail

Understanding how to navigate emotional responses with our children is vital for fostering healthy relationships within families. This episode explores the importance of self-awareness, recognizing triggers, and methods to de-escalate conflicts with children for more effective communication and connection.

• Emphasizing the challenge of escalating vs. de-escalating situations 
• Identifying and managing parental triggers 
• Sharing a personal story about a challenging parenting moment 
• Discussing the impact of emotional regulation on children 
• Highlighting the importance of self-awareness and reflection in parenting 
• Exploring the unique emotional needs of each child 
• Encouraging connection as a solution in difficult moments 
• Suggesting practical techniques for parents to foster understanding and communication 
• Recommending engagement in the Reflective Parent Club for deeper support

Support the show

More ways to become a Reflective Parent with Curious Neuron:

Join our NEW book club for only $9.99!

https://reflectiveparentclub.circle.so/checkout/reflective-parenting-podcast-book-club

Learn about the next books we will be covering:

https://curiousneuron.com/podcast/

Get your FREE emotional awareness training for parents and kids below (comes with a poster, workbook and video):

https://tremendous-hustler-7333.kit.com/84371dc0b2

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=w4iEbFRZ5QQ&t=12s

Grab our course for $99, The Emotionally Aware Parent 

https://curiousneuron.com/reflective-parent-club/

Join the next 6-8 week cohort for parents, kids or teens:

https://curiousneuron.com/reflective-parent-club/

Or email me [email protected] to book emotional training sessions for your organization.