What happens in a marriage when one partner likes to save money and one likes to spend it? According to Dr. Scott Rick’s research, when it comes to money, opposites do attract. Dr. Rick joins Dr. Alexandra to explain how our psychology shapes how we handle money and how the choices we make around money impact our relationships.

Relevant links:

Tightwads and Spendthrifts: Navigating the Money Minefield in Real Relationships by Dr. Scott Rick:

https://www.amazon.com/Tightwads-Spendthrifts-Navigating-Minefield-Relationships/dp/1250280079

Engage with Dr. Rick’s research:

https://scottrick.com/

Connect with him on Instagram:

https://www.instagram.com/likelyshopping/

Order Dr. Alexandra's new book, Love Every Day:

https://bookshop.org/p/books/love-every-day-365-relational-self-awareness-practices-to-help-your-relationship-heal-grow-and-thrive-alexandra-solomon/2e7045884bea4a5f?ean=9781683736530&next=t&

Subscribe to Dr. Alexandra’s Newsletter:

https://newsletter.dralexandrasolomon.com/sign-up

Submit a Listener Question:

https://form.jotform.com/212295995939274

Learn more about the Options Transition to Independence Program which offers education, vocational, independent living, and emotional support for young adults with complex learning needs. https://www.experienceoptions.org/

Hosted by Simplecast, an AdsWizz company. See pcm.adswizz.com for information about our collection and use of personal data for advertising.

Celebrity dating coach Damona Hoffman stops by Reimagining Love to deliver sage and practical advice for daters. With decades of experience in online dating, Damona gives Dr. Alexandra an update on the current state of the apps and explains why so many daters are feeling burnt out. Instead of looking for red flags and buying into tired dating myths, Damona believes the key is getting specific about what we want and who we are, so that we can use the apps as a tool instead of a toy.

Relevant links:

F the Fairy Tale: Rewrite the Dating Myths and Live Your Own Love Story by Damona Hoffman:

https://bookshop.org/p/books/f-the-fairy-tale-rewrite-the-dating-myths-and-live-your-own-love-story-damona-hoffman/c24fadc38204746e?ean=9781541602250&next=t&

Listen to Dates & Mates with Damona Hoffman:

https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/dates-mates-with-damona-hoffman/id606100490

Order Dr. Alexandra's new book, Love Every Day:

https://bookshop.org/p/books/love-every-day-365-relational-self-awareness-practices-to-help-your-relationship-heal-grow-and-thrive-alexandra-solomon/2e7045884bea4a5f?ean=9781683736530&next=t&

Subscribe to Dr. Alexandra’s Newsletter:

https://newsletter.dralexandrasolomon.com/sign-up

Submit a Listener Question:

https://form.jotform.com/212295995939274

Learn more about the Options Transition to Independence Program which offers education, vocational, independent living, and emotional support for young adults with complex learning needs. https://www.experienceoptions.org/

Hosted by Simplecast, an AdsWizz company. See pcm.adswizz.com for information about our collection and use of personal data for advertising.

[Content warning: this episode contains a brief mention of suicide. If you prefer to not listen to this moment, please skip this week's listener question segment at the end of the episode]

Nedra Tawwab returns to Reimagining Love to discuss what can be our most challenging and vulnerable relationships: difficult relationships with our Families of Origin. Nedra offers empowering tools and relational strategies to help us adapt and redefine these relationships; tools to help us acknowledge when our family members have changed and accept when they cannot. Together, Nedra and Dr. Alexandra explore how this theme connects with a wide variety of topics: the tricky dynamics of in-laws, differing perspectives around the past, and how to navigate painful decisions around estrangement.

Relevant links:

Drama Free: A Guide to Managing Unhealthy Family Relationships by Nedra Glover Tawwab:

https://bookshop.org/p/books/drama-free-a-guide-to-managing-unhealthy-family-relationships-nedra-glover-tawwab/afaed5d0e81da644?ean=9780593539279&next=t&

The Drama Free Workbook: Practical Exercises for Managing Unhealthy Family Relationships by Nedra Glover Tawwab:

https://bookshop.org/p/books/the-drama-free-workbook-practical-exercises-for-managing-unhealthy-family-relationships-nedra-glover-tawwab/57ff21534fdfb3eb?ean=9780593712672&next=t&

Listen to Nedra's podcast, You Need to Hear This:

https://www.nedratawwab.com/nedra-podcast

Connect with Nedra online:

https://www.nedratawwab.com/

and on Instagram:

https://www.instagram.com/nedratawwab/?hl=en

Order Dr. Alexandra's book, Love Every Day:

https://bookshop.org/p/books/love-every-day-365-relational-self-awareness-practices-to-help-your-relationship-heal-grow-and-thrive-alexandra-solomon/2e7045884bea4a5f?ean=9781683736530&next=t&

Subscribe to Dr. Alexandra’s Newsletter:

https://newsletter.dralexandrasolomon.com/sign-up

Submit a Listener Question:

https://form.jotform.com/212295995939274

Learn more about the Options Transition to Independence Program which offers education, vocational, independent living, and emotional support for young adults with complex learning needs. https://www.experienceoptions.org/

Hosted by Simplecast, an AdsWizz company. See pcm.adswizz.com for information about our collection and use of personal data for advertising.

In this solo episode, Dr. Alexandra examines a central tension in all relationships: the need for space versus togetherness. If you often find yourself wanting more connection, are you needy? If you typically need more space, are you avoidant? Here, Dr. Alexandra encourages us to ditch the labels and pathology, and instead acknowledge that both space and connection are fundamental needs in an intimate relationship. To help you navigate this, Dr. Alexandra shines a light on the meaning we assign to our orientations around space and shares strategies to help you and your partner create agreements that maximize connection and minimize resentment.

Relevant links:

Access this episode's companion worksheet here:

https://www.dralexandrasolomon.com/worksheets

Mating in Captivity: Unlocking Erotic Intelligence by Esther Perel:

https://bookshop.org/p/books/mating-in-captivity-unlocking-erotic-intelligence-esther-perel/bdb74dc5969d45ea?ean=9780060753641&next=t&

Reimagining Love Episode: "Let's Talk About 'Sleep Divorces'":

https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/lets-talk-about-sleep-divorces/id1588419386?i=1000627578113

Hermeneutic Labor: The Gendered Burden of Interpretation in Intimate Relationships between Women and Men by Ellie Anderson:

https://www.cambridge.org/core/journals/hypatia/article/hermeneutic-labor-the-gendered-burden-of-interpretation-in-intimate-relationships-between-women-and-men/626426004DF2A4908D793B87C3148593

Order Dr. Alexandra's new book, Love Every Day:

https://bookshop.org/p/books/love-every-day-365-relational-self-awareness-practices-to-help-your-relationship-heal-grow-and-thrive-alexandra-solomon/2e7045884bea4a5f?ean=9781683736530&next=t&

Subscribe to Dr. Alexandra’s Newsletter:

https://newsletter.dralexandrasolomon.com/sign-up

Submit a Listener Question:

https://form.jotform.com/212295995939274

Learn more about the Options Transition to Independence Program which offers education, vocational, independent living, and emotional support for young adults with complex learning needs. https://www.experienceoptions.org/

Hosted by Simplecast, an AdsWizz company. See pcm.adswizz.com for information about our collection and use of personal data for advertising.

Author Molly Roden Winter joins Reimagining Love to share her story of opening up her marriage as a happily married mother and the hard-earned and profound truths she learned along the way. For Molly, her journey of non-monogamy opened her up to more: more choice and self-discovery, and feeling more than her roles as a mother and wife. 

Relevant links:

More: A Memoir of Open Marriage by Molly Roden Winter:

https://bookshop.org/p/books/more-a-memoir-of-open-marriage-molly-roden-winter/ef06592ecf6404ff?ean=9780385549455&next=t&

New York Magazine's "A Practical Guide to Modern Polyamory":

https://www.thecut.com/article/how-polyamorous-relationships-work-ethical-non-monogamous-rules.html

Connect with Molly online:

https://www.mollyrodenwinter.com/

Order Dr. Alexandra's book, Love Every Day:

https://bookshop.org/p/books/love-every-day-365-relational-self-awareness-practices-to-help-your-relationship-heal-grow-and-thrive-alexandra-solomon/2e7045884bea4a5f?ean=9781683736530&next=t&

Subscribe to Dr. Alexandra’s Newsletter:

https://newsletter.dralexandrasolomon.com/sign-up

Submit a Listener Question:

https://form.jotform.com/212295995939274

Learn more about the Options Transition to Independence Program which offers education, vocational, independent living, and emotional support for young adults with complex learning needs. https://www.experienceoptions.org/

Hosted by Simplecast, an AdsWizz company. See pcm.adswizz.com for information about our collection and use of personal data for advertising.

What would change if, instead of prioritizing romantic relationships, we made friendships the center of our lives? NPR's Rhaina Cohen joins Reimagining Love to explore the possibilities embedded within that question. In her new book, Rhaina invites us into the worlds of people who've organized their lives around deep friendship and, in doing so, challenge our ideas and assumptions about which relationships should be at the heart of a fulfilling life. 

Relevant links:

The Other Significant Others: Reimagining Life with Friendship at the Center by Rhaina Cohen:

https://bookshop.org/p/books/the-other-significant-others-reimagining-life-with-friendship-at-the-center-rhaina-cohen/c661c914e12ca407?ean=9781250280916&next=t&

Connect with Rhaina online:

https://www.rhainacohen.com/

"Parent–adult child estrangement in the United States by gender, race/ethnicity, and sexuality" from the Journal of Marriage and Family:

https://onlinelibrary.wiley.com/doi/10.1111/jomf.12898

Order Dr. Alexandra's book, Love Every Day:

https://bookshop.org/p/books/love-every-day-365-relational-self-awareness-practices-to-help-your-relationship-heal-grow-and-thrive-alexandra-solomon/2e7045884bea4a5f?ean=9781683736530&next=t&

Subscribe to Dr. Alexandra’s Newsletter:

https://newsletter.dralexandrasolomon.com/sign-up

Submit a Listener Question:

https://form.jotform.com/212295995939274

Learn more about the Options Transition to Independence Program which offers education, vocational, independent living, and emotional support for young adults with complex learning needs. https://www.experienceoptions.org/

Hosted by Simplecast, an AdsWizz company. See pcm.adswizz.com for information about our collection and use of personal data for advertising.

Mark Groves and Kylie McBeath join Reimagining Love to share the story of their relationship—the story that inspired their new book, Liberated Love: Release Codependent Patterns and Create the Love You Desire. In this conversation, they get vulnerable about how they moved from breaking up to fostering breakthroughs; a journey they nurtured through what they call 'a sacred pause.' In the sacred pause, they identified the patterns that blocked their ability to find authentic love so that they could build a new relationship rooted in safety and interdependence.

Relevant links: 

Liberated Love: Release Codependent Patterns and Create the Love You Desire by Mark Groves and Kylie McBeath:

https://bookshop.org/p/books/liberated-love-release-codependent-patterns-and-create-the-love-you-desire-kylie-mcbeath/40bfe21a1c3c84ad?ean=9781250908957&next=t&

After purchasing Liberated Love, access the PDF Workbook and free Meditation:

https://markgroves.com/book

Order Dr. Alexandra's book, Love Every Day:

https://bookshop.org/p/books/love-every-day-365-relational-self-awareness-practices-to-help-your-relationship-heal-grow-and-thrive-alexandra-solomon/2e7045884bea4a5f?ean=9781683736530&next=t&

Subscribe to Dr. Alexandra’s Newsletter:

https://newsletter.dralexandrasolomon.com/sign-up

Submit a Listener Question:

https://form.jotform.com/212295995939274

Learn more about the Options Transition to Independence Program which offers education, vocational, independent living, and emotional support for young adults with complex learning needs. https://www.experienceoptions.org/

Hosted by Simplecast, an AdsWizz company. See pcm.adswizz.com for information about our collection and use of personal data for advertising.

Throughout her decades as a therapist, Dr. Alexandra has helped many people navigate being "the affair partner." Participating in infidelity creates an intoxicating yet profoundly confusing blend of emotions and experiences. In this episode, Dr. Alexandra examines the psychology of this role and offers a compassionate look into the surrounding context: the thrills, secret benefits, sources of shame, and potential origin stories embedded within this controversial role.

Relevant links:

"A Great Wagon" by Rumi:

https://onbeing.org/poetry/a-great-wagon/

Journal of Sex & Martial Therapy: "Object of Desire Self-Consciousness Theory" by Anthony F. Bogaert and Lori A. Brotto:

https://med-fom-brotto.sites.olt.ubc.ca/files/2015/03/Bogaert-Brotto-2014-Object-of-Desire-Self-Conciousness-Theory-3549.pdf

"Taking Sexy Back" by Dr. Alexandra Solomon:

https://bookshop.org/p/books/taking-sexy-back-how-to-own-your-sexuality-and-create-the-relationships-you-want-alexandra-h-solomon-phd/bb4e09f44fba80a8?ean=9781684033461&next=t&

Facebook Group: Esther Perel Discussion Group:

https://www.facebook.com/groups/793115204193690

Reimagining Love episode: "Guidance for the Newly Single":

https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/guidance-for-the-newly-single-5-strategies-for/id1588419386?i=1000637536484

Order Dr. Alexandra’s new book, Love Every Day:

https://bookshop.org/p/books/love-every-day-365-relational-self-awareness-practices-to-help-your-relationship-heal-grow-and-thrive-alexandra-solomon/2e7045884bea4a5f?ean=9781683736530&next=t&

Subscribe to Dr. Alexandra’s Newsletter:

https://newsletter.dralexandrasolomon.com/sign-up

Submit a Listener Question:

https://form.jotform.com/212295995939274

Learn more about the Options Transition to Independence Program which offers education, vocational, independent living, and emotional support for young adults with complex learning needs. https://www.experienceoptions.org/

Hosted by Simplecast, an AdsWizz company. See pcm.adswizz.com for information about our collection and use of personal data for advertising.

In this solo episode, Dr. Alexandra confronts a common roadblock to repair: shame. Often, in the wake of relational harm, feelings of shame secretly run the show, causing you to get combative and defensive or freeze, flee, or fawn in essential moments. Dr. Alexandra provides strategies for moving from shame into action—so that you can make yourself available for repair—and gives tangible tips for how to make a heartfelt and effective apology.

Relevant links:

Access this episode's companion worksheet here:

https://www.dralexandrasolomon.com/worksheets

Reimagining Love episode: "Why Can't I Get Over It?":

https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/why-cant-i-get-over-it/id1588419386?i=1000648061670

Dr. Alexandra's e-course: Can I Trust You Again? Rebuilding after Betrayal or Deceit:

https://courses.dralexandrasolomon.com/can-i-trust-you-again-rebuilding-after-betrayal-or-deceit

Brené Brown's TED Talk: Listening to Shame:

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=psN1DORYYV0

Building Self-Esteem: How Learning from Shame Helps Us to Grow by Joseph Burgo:

https://bookshop.org/p/books/building-self-esteem-how-learning-from-shame-helps-us-to-grow-joseph-burgo/e95fb867f0e1daf7?ean=9780997592023&next=t&

Order Dr. Alexandra’s book, Love Every Day:

https://bookshop.org/p/books/love-every-day-365-relational-self-awareness-practices-to-help-your-relationship-heal-grow-and-thrive-alexandra-solomon/2e7045884bea4a5f?ean=9781683736530&next=t&

Subscribe to Dr. Alexandra’s Newsletter:

https://newsletter.dralexandrasolomon.com/sign-up

Submit a Listener Question:

https://form.jotform.com/212295995939274

Learn more about the Options Transition to Independence Program which offers education, vocational, independent living, and emotional support for young adults with complex learning needs. https://www.experienceoptions.org/

Hosted by Simplecast, an AdsWizz company. See pcm.adswizz.com for information about our collection and use of personal data for advertising.

Ten years after "conscious uncoupling" first entered the public lexicon, Katherine Woodward Thomas joins Reimagining Love to discuss her powerful rebrand of what's possible after a breakup or divorce. Through sharing her story and dissecting the cultural myths that cause us to view divorce as a failure, Katherine encourages us to bring a sense of generosity and intentionality to the process so that we can transform our relationships with our former partner, ourselves, and our futures.

Relevant links:

Conscious Uncoupling: 5 Steps to Living Happily Even After by Katherine Woodward Thomas:

https://bookshop.org/p/books/conscious-uncoupling-5-steps-to-living-happily-even-after-katherine-woodward-thomas/7424192ec73365ee?ean=9780553447019&next=t&

Calling in the One: 7 Weeks to Attract the Love of Your Life (Revised) by Katherine Woodward Thomas:

https://bookshop.org/p/books/calling-in-the-one-revised-and-expanded-7-weeks-to-attract-the-love-of-your-life-katherine-woodward-thomas/624d02fc9f090d34?ean=9780593139790&next=t&

Connect with Katherine online:

https://katherinewoodwardthomas.com/

and on Instagram:

https://www.instagram.com/katherinewoodwardthomas/?hl=en

Marriage, a History: How Love Conquered Marriage by Stephanie Coontz:

https://bookshop.org/p/books/marriage-a-history-how-love-conquered-marriage-stephanie-coontz/e8cb0cf1d5a50216?ean=9780143036678&next=t&

The Good Divorce by Constance Ahrons:

https://bookshop.org/p/books/the-good-divorce-constance-ahrons/f35748822fe042ca?ean=9780060926342&next=t&

Uncoupling: Turning Points in Intimate Relationships by Diane Vaughan:

https://bookshop.org/p/books/uncoupling-turning-points-in-intimate-relationships-assistant-professor-of-sociology-diane-vaughan/4b8402fb922f76ec?ean=9780679730026&next=t&

Order Dr. Alexandra's new book, Love Every Day:

https://bookshop.org/p/books/love-every-day-365-relational-self-awareness-practices-to-help-your-relationship-heal-grow-and-thrive-alexandra-solomon/2e7045884bea4a5f?ean=9781683736530&next=t&

Subscribe to Dr. Alexandra’s Newsletter:

https://newsletter.dralexandrasolomon.com/sign-up

Submit a Listener Question:

https://form.jotform.com/212295995939274

Learn more about the Options Transition to Independence Program which offers education, vocational, independent living, and emotional support for young adults with complex learning needs. https://www.experienceoptions.org/

Hosted by Simplecast, an AdsWizz company. See pcm.adswizz.com for information about our collection and use of personal data for advertising.