Blending families is messy. There are no hard and fast rules. Today's solo episode is devoted to one listener's question about dating and motherhood. The question's theme of intentionality, about modeling relationships with the kids and her healing journey is far from an isolated experience. There will be nuggets in this episode to savor and work with for separate conversations between the ex, the boyfriend, and the kids.

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A phrase we've been hearing a lot lately, especially in the dating world, and I’m sure you have as well is “If they wanted to, they would.” In today's episode, Dr Solomon will look at the kinds of fears and beliefs that lead people to stick the “if they wanted to they would” label on a relationship dynamic. You'll also lean into what might be happening in a dynamic that would lead you to declare “if they wanted to, they would” and what else you might do besides stick this label on and walk away.

Pre-order Dr. Alexandra's new book, Love Every Day, and register to receive free gifts after you order:

https://dralexandrasolomon.com/loveeverydaybook/

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We generally assume that long-term partners sleep in the same bed together. But for some couples, sleep issues or other concerns make it hard for two people to get a good night's rest. "Sleep divorces" are more common than you might think, but the stigma about them remains. In this episode, Dr. Alexandra shares tips for how to discuss sleeping arrangements with your partner.

Pre-order Dr. Alexandra's new book, Love Every Day, and register to receive free gifts after you order:

https://dralexandrasolomon.com/loveeverydaybook/

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The Extraordinary Importance of Sleep (P&T, December 2018) Susan Worley

Marital quality and the marital bed: Examining the covariation between relationship quality and sleep (NIH)

Wendy M. Troxel, Ph.D., Theodore F. Robles, Ph.D., Martica Hall, Ph.D., and Daniel J. Buysse

The Bizarre Social History of Beds What We Did in Bed: A Horizontal History by Brian Fagan and Nadia Durrani

Is sleeping in separate beds bad for your relationship? A sleep scientist answers (TED’s “How to Be a Better Human” series)

Gina Gutierrez, co-founder of the audio platform Dipsea, joins Dr. Alexandra for a conversation about sexuality, imagination, and empowerment. They discuss how audio erotica can help people— particularly women—reconnect with their pleasure and create a safe space for exploration with storytelling.

Pre-order Dr. Alexandra's new book, Love Every Day, and register to receive free gifts after you order:

https://dralexandrasolomon.com/loveeverydaybook/

Use code LOVEPOD for a free month of Dipsea Audio Stories:

https://www.dipseastories.com/LOVEPOD

Watch Gina's TED talk:

https://www.ted.com/talks/gina_gutierrez_the_relationship_between_sex_and_imagination?language=en

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Life transitions are inevitable. For couples and families, these chapters offer unique challenges and opportunities. This fall, Dr. Alexandra and her husband, Todd, are experiencing a major change of their own, as they launch their youngest off to college and become "empty-nesters." They sat down together in the studio for a candid conversation about what this time is bringing up for them and how they plan to process and celebrate the beginning of this new chapter together.

Pre-order Dr. Alexandra's new book, Love Every Day, and register to receive free gifts after you order:

https://dralexandrasolomon.com/loveeverydaybook/

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Has someone every said this phrase to you? Have you ever said it to someone else? In this re-release of a foundational episode, Dr. Alexandra explores why the statement "I love you, but I'm not in love with you" is so complicated and what might actually be lying beneath these words in the context of an intimate relationship.

Pre-order Dr. Alexandra's new book, Love Every Day: 365 Relational Self-Awareness Practices To Help Your Relationship Heal, Grow, and Thrive:

https://dralexandrasolomon.com/loveeverydaybook/

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Working to improve your relationship is hard enough, and when your partner is resistant to the idea of reflecting together, it can feel like you're doomed. In this re-release of a foundational episode, Dr. Alexandra explores this common conundrum and shares reminders for the enthusiastic partner who is ready to dive into Relational Self-Awareness work, as well as for the partner who may be feeling more reluctant for a number of reasons.

A note: The podcast will be taking a break for the next two weeks and will return on August 22nd with another re-release episode!

Pre-order Dr. Alexandra's new book, Love Every Day: 365 Relational Self-Awareness Practices To Help Your Relationship Heal, Grow, and Thrive:

https://dralexandrasolomon.com/loveeverydaybook/

Subscribe to Dr. Alexandra’s Newsletter:

https://dralexandrasolomon.com/subscribe/

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Lane Moore, the Author of "You Will Find Your People," joins Dr. Alexandra for a discussion about the joys and heartbreaks of friendship. Lane shares her impetus to write this thoughtful book, and the two discuss why some people might struggle more with friendship due to their upbringing or past experiences, and how they can create a community of people they love as adults.

You Will Find Your People: How to Make Meaningful Friendships As an Adult by Lane Moore:

https://bookshop.org/p/books/you-will-find-your-people-how-to-make-meaningful-friendships-as-an-adult-lane-moore/18699308?ean=9781419762567

Pre-order Dr. Alexandra's new book, Love Every Day: 365 Relational Self-Awareness Practices To Help Your Relationship Heal, Grow, and Thrive:

https://dralexandrasolomon.com/loveeverydaybook/

Subscribe to Dr. Alexandra’s Newsletter:

https://dralexandrasolomon.com/subscribe/

Submit a Listener Question:

https://form.jotform.com/212295995939274

When a relationship comes to a close, how do we decide for ourselves what kind of connection, if any, should remain between us and our former partner? In this episode, Dr. Alexandra explores the topic of friendship with exes and shares some helpful musings and questions for anyone who is hoping to gain clarity about what might serve them and their former partner best in this new uncharted chapter.

Pre-order Dr. Alexandra's brand-new book, Love Every Day: 365 Relational Self-Awareness Practices To Help Your Relationship Heal, Grow, and Thrive:

https://dralexandrasolomon.com/loveeverydaybook/

Subscribe to Dr. Alexandra’s Newsletter:

https://dralexandrasolomon.com/subscribe/

Submit a Listener Question:

https://form.jotform.com/212295995939274

Take Dr. Alexandra's "Relationship Superpower" Quiz:

https://dralexandrasolomon.com/rsa-quiz/

Long-distance relationships are no walk in the park, but that doesn't mean they can't thrive. In this episode, Dr. Alexandra tackles this topic, sharing tools and tips for couples. If you and your partner live in different time zones, are pros at FaceTime dates, and are constantly asking, "when's our next visit?", this episode is for you.

Access this episode's companion worksheet here

Pre-order Dr. Alexandra's brand-new book, Love Every Day: 365 Relational Self-Awareness Practices To Help Your Relationship Heal, Grow, and Thrive

Subscribe to Dr. Alexandra’s Newsletter

Submit a Listener Question

Take Dr. Alexandra's "Relationship Superpower" Quiz