Relationships Uncomplicated

Today, I want to talk about who can heal your pain after infidelity. You'll learn who really can help heal the pain, who doesn't have the power to help, and what you can do if you're stuck feeling unable to move past the hurt.

I dive into the topic by telling you about a contact that I recently received from a spouse who had been cheated on and wanted to be seen individually. There was nothing alarming about this at first, but the person then shared something troubling: a therapist had told this person that seeking individual help to overcome the pain was needed before the couple could healthily recover together.

The first issue that I have with this is that sending one partner off to seek help alone is very difficult. I talk about how it takes so much courage to trust anyone after infidelity and that isolating sends a bad message to the hurt partner.

The second issue I have is that many therapists have the assumption that the pain after infidelity is individual and, therefore, the hurting individual is capable of fixing it. You must remember that forgiveness is a journey that both sides need to go on and that it needs to be earned.

The third issue I have is the sense that hurt partners who are not ready to forgive are considered unable to surrender to the process. I provide my opinion that surrender should not be expected because the situation that the couple has found themselves in is not a war.

Therapy is not a body shop where you check your problematic spouse in to get fixed. The betraying partner needs to understand that they are the person who will help the healing.

Links mentioned in this episode:

It's Okay to Stay - Idit's Online Course Waitlist

Idit's It's Okay to Stay Facebook group

Book: How Can I Forgive You / by Janis Abrahms Spring, PhD

For more information about the podcast and Idit Sharoni visit:

www.iditsharoni.com

Feel like you don't even know what is going to make your relationship work anymore?

Let relationship expert Idit Sharoni give you a surprising strategie to help you get insight as to what can save your relationship, when everything seems like chaos.

As promised in the episode, here's what you ask yourself:

"Suppose this episode is over, you go about your day, do whatever you planned to do for the rest of it. And then, some time in the evening, you get tired and go to sleep. And in the middle of the night, when you are sound asleep, a miracle happens and the problems in your relationship are solved just like that (snap). But since the miracle happened overnight you don't know that the miracle has happened. When you wake up the next morning, how are you going to start discovering that the miracle happened? What would be the first thing that would tell you a miracle must've happened? What else are you going to notice during the day after you wake up?"

For more information about the podcast and Idit Sharoni visit:

www.iditsharoni.com

We're deep into creation mode, and a a result my team and myself are taking a short break. We will be back with more great episodes filled with relationship tips and ideas on January 21st, 2019.

Until then, have a happy holiday season and a wonderful New Year!

Don't forget to check back in with us Monday, January 21st, 2019.

Have you stopped couples counseling because there was no result? Are you now in the stages of looking for a therapist but aren't sure what to look for? Do you desperately wish you had a tool to measure whether couples therapy is the right fit for you?

Couples therapist Idit Sharoni shares from her thousands of hours experience helping couples save their relationships, what are the most important components that make your couples therapy process a success.

Listen and learn what you can do now to ensure your couples counseling has the best chances to succeed.

For more information about the podcast and Idit Sharoni visit:

www.iditsharoni.com

If you are human, you probably engaged in escalating a conflict by being defensive. In this episode, relationship expert Idit Sharoni shares what is defensiveness, how it looks inside a conversation, what it does, and how to avoid it.

You'll get tools and ideas on what you can do when you feel attacked by your partner. By the end of this episode you'll know to better react and diffuse the conflict.

Links mentioned in this Episode:

Four Horsemen of the Apocalypse Video - The Gottman Institute

For more information about the podcast and Idit Sharoni visit:

www.iditsharoni.com

Betrayed partners are exposed to a great amount of uncertainty when they learn their spouse has been unfaithful. One of the things they often hear is "Once a cheater always a cheater". Is this ture?

Listen to Miami's relationship expert Idit Sharoni expressing her thoughts and ideas about the old saying based on her experience working with coupes in the aftermath of infidelity.

FREEBIE: Download the "5 Ways to Know if You're Dealing w/ Always a Cheater" guide Idit created to especially for this episode listeners. Simply click the link below.

Links mentioned in this episode:

FREEBIE: 5 Ways to Know if You're Dealing w/ Always a Cheater

Idit's FB Group: It's Okay To Stay - Healing After Infidelity

Where Should We Begin Podcast Season 2 ep. 7

For more information about the podcast and Idit Sharoni visit:

www.iditsharoni.com

Do you hear from your spouse that they need to feel more loved? Do they tell you you're not making time for them, attending to them, or making them feel appreciated enough?

That is a very real issue for many modern relationships these days. So, how do you make your partner feel loved and cared for without jeopardising your individual needs?

Listen to Miami's relationship expert Idit Sharoni giving you 5 tips on how to go from having a partner who feels uncared for to a relationship where both of you feel nurtured.

You may be surprised...

Links mentioned in this episode:

Episode 46: Date Night Will Not Solve Your Problems

TED Talk: The Secret to Desire in a Long-Term Relationship

Article: For a Better Marriage Act Like a Single Person

For more information about the podcast and Idit Sharoni visit:

www.iditsharoni.com

A couple wanted to know if as a marriage therapist Idit believed they could change after 20 years of marriage.

Her answer was not what you might expect, but it was positive. In this episode relationship expert Idit Sharoni will tell you what it takes to make changes in long term relationships of 10 years and up.

And it not only hard work...

For more information about the podcast and Idit Sharoni visit:

www.iditsharoni.com

Have guilt or shame stopped you from being able to make your relationship work after infidelity? Has guilt made you more defensive than helpful or remorseful? Or, has shame made you more confused about whether to stay or leave your cheating spouse?

These are all negative outcomes of guilt, blame or shame that occur in the aftermath of infidelity. BUT, there id a positive side to guilt that actually helps the healing process.

Listen in and find out more about this from Relationship Expert Idit Sharoni.

For more information about the podcast and Idit Sharoni visit:

www.iditsharoni.com

You finally decided to go to couples counseling, but now you have to find a good therapist.

You Google couples counseling in your area and you start making some calls. How do you know which one is the right therapist for your relationship? Do you determine by price, availability, location? Or are there more criteria you should look for and ask your prospective therapist about?

Answers to these questions and the actual 5 questions you should ask are all in this episode presented by your host - relationship expert Idit Sharoni.

For more information about the podcast and Idit Sharoni visit:

www.iditsharoni.com