Single Mother Survival Guide

In this episode, I answer a question I received and addressed in my recent Tuesday Struggle Strategy Session in the Single Mother Survival Guide Support Forum.

Here, I am sharing my answer because I think it's a great question. It was a question that is quite hard to admit to, a mindset that holds us back and I'm pretty sure we can all relate to it.

The question I addressed was:

Hi Julia, I have been divorced for 5 years now and I'm happy that I'm no longer in the marriage anymore. But despite the emotional, physical, and emotional abuse I endured throughout the marriage, there is one thing that hits me hard all the time. And that is I supported him during our 10-year marriage and two kids to climb that corporate ladder, earning hundreds and thousands of dollars... and now is in a cushy job, a job that takes him to places like Singapore, and still climbing the ladder while I have the kids 90% of the time and for him, one night a week. Don't get me wrong, I'm happy to have the kids. I feel robbed. He left me with debt and having to start over from scratch. Why does this get me all the time?

In this episode, I chat about:

• Changing your mindset.
• Unresolved resentments.
• Having an attitude of gratitude.

Listen to the episode to get some insights and tips especially if you are facing similar challenges in your journey. And if you are feeling the same about your current situation, I really hope that listening to this will help you.

Links mentioned in the episode:

Jump on the waitlist for Thrive Tribe HERE. Download the E-book – Thirteen single mothers share their struggles, top tips, and their favourite things about being a single mother – HERE.

To contact Julia, email: [email protected].

Visit us at Single Mother Survival Guide. And join the email list there too.

Or connect with Single Mother Survival Guide on Facebook, Instagram, Twitter, or Pinterest.

In this episode, I discuss divorce coaching - what it is, why you need a divorce coach if you are considering getting a divorce, and how it can help you. As a certified divorce coach, I am very passionate about helping single mums overcome challenges, make the best out of a very difficult situation, and thrive.

I share:

• My own experience with divorce as a child.
• The positive and negative impacts of divorce in my life as I grew up - emotionally, physically, mentally, and spiritually.
• How my parent's divorce helped give me more insight and empathy for children and other people going through a divorce.
• The difference between coaching and therapy.
• What I love about being a divorce coach.
• And much more!

Links mentioned in the episode:

Jump on the waitlist for Thrive Tribe HERE. Download the E-book – Thirteen single mothers share their struggles, top tips, and their favourite things about being a single mother – HERE.

To contact Julia, email: [email protected].

Visit us at Single Mother Survival Guide. And join the email list there too.

Or connect with Single Mother Survival Guide on Facebook, Instagram, Twitter, or Pinterest.

This week, I talk about mindset when it comes to divorce.

I am a certified divorce coach and a certified transition and recovery coach. I am passionate about working with single mums.

In this episode, I share six of the biggest mindset mistakes people usually make when they get divorced.

As a coach, this is something I help people recognise so they can handle it better. Failure to recognise these mistakes can result in serious long-term consequences. It is very important to develop the right mindset before, during, and after divorce proceedings.

It's my hope that gaining awareness will save you from losing unnecessary time, money, and effort.

Links mentioned in the episode:

Jump on the waitlist for Thrive Tribe HERE.

Download the E-book – Thirteen single mothers share their struggles, top tips, and their favourite things about being a single mother – HERE.

To contact Julia, email: [email protected].

Visit us at Single Mother Survival Guide. And join the email list there too.

Or connect with Single Mother Survival Guide on Facebook, Instagram, Twitter, or Pinterest.

This week is not your typical episode. I'm super stoked to share a wonderful life update with you...

I'm engaged!!!

I've been seeing my boyfriend now for 18 months and I can't wait to spend the rest of my life with him! I'm so happy that my daughter was absolutely thrilled about the news too.

I'm grateful for all the love and support I've received from everyone.

In this episode I talk about:

• How our relationship developed over time.
• The element of fear in entering into a relationship, especially if you have been through DV or some form of abuse.
• Not settling for someone that isn't right for you.
• And so much more!

Links mentioned in the episode:

Jump on the waitlist for Thrive Tribe HERE.

Download the E-book – Thirteen single mothers share their struggles, top tips, and their favourite things about being a single mother – HERE.

To contact Julia, email: [email protected].

Visit us at Single Mother Survival Guide. And join the email list there too.

Or connect with Single Mother Survival Guide on Facebook, Instagram, Twitter, or Pinterest.

This week on the show, I have a very special guest sharing her single mum journey and her experience with self-growth and the things that have helped her heal as a result of becoming a single mother.

She is one of my founding Thrive Tribe members and it's made me so very happy to have seen her grow over the last couple of years. She's been a single mum for five years and has three children.

In this episode she shares:

• How her children were affected by the strained relationship she had with her ex.
• How her kids have grown over the years following the separation.
• How she met her ex and how the relationship developed.
• The domestic violence and control issues she suffered from in the relationship and losing her sense of identity in the process.
• How she helped her children process and navigate through the separation and what it means for them.
• How she dealt with the shame of being the only single mum in her family and circle of friends.
• How building her self-identity and independence strained the relationship with her ex.
• The co-parenting arrangement she has with her ex-partner.
• Being diagnosed with complex PTSD, anxiety, and depression.
• The importance of finding the right therapist.
• The things that helped her in her journey to healing.
• The importance of belonging to a community of like-minded people, like Thrive Tribe, who understand what you are going through.
• Insights gained from her healing journey.
• Her advice to new single mums who are starting their own healing journey.
• And so much more!

Links mentioned in the episode:

Jump on the waitlist for Thrive Tribe HERE.

Download the E-book – Thirteen single mothers share their struggles, top tips, and their favourite things about being a single mother – HERE.

To contact Julia, email: [email protected].

Visit us at Single Mother Survival Guide. And join the email list there too.

Or connect with Single Mother Survival Guide on Facebook, Instagram, Twitter, or Pinterest.

In this episode, I share some information about factors that play the biggest role in leading a couple to divorce.

I discuss Dr John Gottman's research into The Four Horseman of The Apocalypse. This refers to the four negative communication patterns that, according to his research, often lead to the end of a relationship if the behaviour isn't changed.

These are:

1. Criticism
2. Defensiveness
3. Contempt
4. Stonewalling

Dr John Gottman is the co-founder of The Gottman Institute with his wife, Dr Julie Schwartz Gottman. He is world-renowned for his work on marital stability and divorce prediction. He has conducted 40 years of research with thousands of couples. Dr Gottman was one of the Top 10 Most Influential Therapists of the past quarter-century by the Psychotherapy Networker. He authored and co-authored over 200 published academic articles and more than 40 books.

Links mentioned in the episode:

You can connect with Dr John Gottman through his Website, Facebook, Instagram, YouTube, and LinkedIn.

Click HERE to watch a short video about The Four Horseman of The Apocalypse.

Jump on the waitlist for Thrive Tribe HERE.

Download the E-book – Thirteen single mothers share their struggles, top tips, and their favourite things about being a single mother – HERE.

To contact Julia, email: [email protected].

Visit us at Single Mother Survival Guide. And join the email list there too.

Or connect with Single Mother Survival Guide on Facebook, Instagram, Twitter, or Pinterest.

This week on the show, I have an anonymous single mum sharing her story. She recounts her harrowing story of domestic abuse and how she got through it, in the hopes of giving other silent victims the courage to seek help.

**Please note this episode and topic may act as a trigger for some people, and this episode is not suitable to listen to within earshot of children.**

In this episode, my guest talks about:

• How she met her ex and the early signs she noticed the red flags.
• Dealing with "partner rape," a form of sexual abuse, and the shame and disassociation that comes with it.
• Losing her baby through miscarriage.
• Dealing with her ex's mother who was an enabler of his behaviour.
• Coping with physical abuse.
• The importance of knowing resources women can get help from.
• How her ex gaslighted her to try to erode her self-esteem.
• Dealing with her ex's narcissistic rage towards her.
• Overcoming her fear and leaving the abusive relationship.
• Getting the help of a family lawyer for dispute resolution and going on trial against her ex.
• Her advice for other women going through a similar situation.
• The importance of having goals and rewarding yourself for the little accomplishments you achieve.
• Lessons she learned.

It is my guest's hope that listening to her story will inspire victims to find their purpose and to set goals.

Links mentioned in the episode:

• Pregnancy Help Australia link
• Victim Services NSW

Jump on the waitlist for Thrive Tribe HERE.

Download the E-book – Thirteen single mothers share their struggles, top tips, and their favourite things about being a single mother – HERE.

To contact Julia, email: [email protected].

Visit us at Single Mother Survival Guide. And join the email list there too.

Or connect with Single Mother Survival Guide on Facebook, Instagram, Twitter, or Pinterest.

This week on the show, I have Frances Weston joining me. Frances is an award-winning personal development specialist who has helped hundreds of women and children heal from the past, cope with distressing or challenging situations in the present and build themselves a brighter future.

Frances uses a blend of transformational techniques and innovative processes to help her clients get the breakthroughs and results they seek. Her work has been featured in numerous publications and professional journals, and she is regularly interviewed by BBC Radio.

Frances has a wealth of life experience which has given her a deep understanding of human nature and an ability to relate to her clients and put them at ease. Her clients come from all walks of life and include high-profile individuals in the public eye who particularly value the absolute discretion and completely confidential environment she is able to offer.

Over recent years she has developed a bespoke, highly specialised approach to her work that seamlessly integrates key elements of counselling and coaching into unique, highly effective packages of support.

She has also created Sunshine Barn, a beautiful sanctuary for her clients in rural Derbyshire, to optimise their experience and enable her to provide them with a truly holistic and creative service.

In this episode, Frances talks about:

• Her passion for developing online courses that parents and children can take together to support them in dealing with anxiety.
• Causes of anxiety in children and how they can pick up energies of people around them.
• The difference between feeling anxious and having an anxiety disorder.
• How various forms of anxiety can disrupt a child's life, such as separation anxiety and phobia.
• How we, as parents, can unknowingly pass on phobias and anxiety to our children.
• EFT as a tool to help children recover from trauma.
• The importance of teaching children about the possible signs of anxiety disorders.
• How emotional anxiety or trauma can manifest on the physical body.
• How parents can help identify symptoms of a disorder and apply strategies and techniques to treat the anxiety.
• And so much more!

Links mentioned in the episode: Visit Frances' blog to learn useful info on a wide range of issues to do with children's mental health. Watch for free Frances' 3-part audio series for parents with anxious children. Join the waitlist for Frances' course "From Fearful to Fearless." You can connect with Frances through her Website, Facebook, LinkedIn, Twitter, and Instagram. Jump on the waitlist for Thrive Tribe HERE.

Download the E-book – Thirteen single mothers share their struggles, top tips, and their favourite things about being a single mother – HERE.

To contact Julia, email: [email protected].

Visit us at Single Mother Survival Guide. And join the email list there too.

Or connect with Single Mother Survival Guide on Facebook, Instagram, Twitter, or Pinterest.

This week on the show, I have Dani Soares joining me. Dani is a TV personality best known for starring on the reality show, Below Deck Sailing Yacht Season 2 which premiered on March 3, 2021. She now lives in Sydney, Australia with her 8-month-old daughter Lilly.

In this episode Dani shares:

• A little about her yachting career days.
• Juggling life between work and study plus having a beautiful 8-month-old baby at the same time.
• Her experience on Below Deck, and her relationships with the other cast members of the show.
• The struggle of wanting to keep her personal life private while being a TV personality.
• How she found out she was pregnant and how it was never a question of choosing to have the baby or not. It was only a question of how she will raise her baby.
• The reaction she felt when her baby's father requested a DNA test.
• How she handles criticisms while being in the public eye.
• Her superhuman ability to raise a baby as a single mum, study nursing at Uni, work as a beauty therapist, and deal with motherhood as a public personality.
• The biggest lesson she has learned since becoming a single mum.
• Her favourite thing about becoming a single mum.

Dani is paving the way showing everyone that the single mum journey is not easy, but it's certainly doable, and going for your goals can still happen!

Links mentioned in the episode: Connect with Dani on Instagram. Jump on the waitlist for Thrive Tribe HERE.

Download the E-book – Thirteen single mothers share their struggles, top tips, and their favourite things about being a single mother – HERE.

To contact Julia, email: [email protected].

Visit us at Single Mother Survival Guide. And join the email list there too.

Or connect with Single Mother Survival Guide on Facebook, Instagram, Twitter, or Pinterest.

This week is a solo episode where I talk about setting yourself up for the year. January is a great time to look back over the past year and reflect on things; to think about all the awesome things you did last year and some of the things you wish you had done differently. In this episode, I share some tips -

1. Different practices for reflecting on the year that was. 2. My highlights for 2021. 3. Celebrating and appreciating even the cumulative little things in life. 4. The importance of journaling to document your successes and things you are proud of. 5. Thinking about things you need to let go of before moving forward to the new year - people to forgive, relationships to mend, etc. 6. The importance of setting new goals for 2022. 7. Daily habits to 'fill your cup'.

By doing this exercise, you can confidently face the new year with less baggage and you can take positive steps towards your goals.

Links mentioned in the episode: Click HERE to listen to the goal-setting podcast episode. Jump on the waitlist for Thrive Tribe HERE.

Download the E-book – Thirteen single mothers share their struggles, top tips, and their favourite things about being a single mother – HERE.

To contact Julia, email: [email protected].

Visit us at Single Mother Survival Guide. And join the email list there too.

Or connect with Single Mother Survival Guide on Facebook, Instagram, Twitter, or Pinterest.