When we think about getting sober, most of the focus is on not drinking, but we don’t think about what to start doing to actually rewire the brain and move forward. In this episode, I’ll explain why white-knuckling doesn’t work. You’ll learn about why willpower is not the most important factor for staying sober, how being “strong” prevents us from getting support, and what you can do differently to make progress. It’s not about convincing yourself of all the bad health effects of alcohol or powering through temptation, because if those things were effective long term strategies, then relapse rates wouldn’t be so high. I will also discuss how taking on the label of an “alcoholic” is a barrier for many people that keeps us isolated and drinking.

What to listen to next:

E274: High Dopamine, Low Effort Behaviors and Making Sobriety Feel Less Hard

E267: Resources vs Support: Are You Setting Yourself Up For Success?

Work with me:

Community & Meetings: Living a Sober Powered Life https://www.soberpowered.com/membership

Sober coaching https://www.soberpowered.com/sober-coaching

 Weekly email:

You’ll hear from me on Fridays https://www.soberpowered.com/email

Free resources https://www.soberpowered.com/free

Courses:

The non-negotiable mindset https://www.soberpowered.com/mindset-course

Don’t try harder, try different  https://www.soberpowered.com/willpower

Support the show:

If you enjoyed this episode please consider buying me a coffee to support all the research and effort that goes into this podcast https://www.buymeacoffee.com/soberpowered

Thank you for supporting this show by supporting my sponsors https://www.soberpowered.com/sponsors

Sources are posted on my website

Disclaimer: all of the information described in this podcast is my interpretation of the research combined with my opinion. This is not medical advice. 

Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Join me for a special Q&A episode. We talk about my story, my work, my gaming history, book writing, what I've noticed in the sober community, and more! Thanks to everyone who submitted questions

Work with me:

Community & Meetings: Living a Sober Powered Life https://www.soberpowered.com/membership

Sober coaching https://www.soberpowered.com/sober-coaching

 Weekly email:

You’ll hear from me on Fridays https://www.soberpowered.com/email

Free resources https://www.soberpowered.com/free

Courses:

The non-negotiable mindset https://www.soberpowered.com/mindset-course

Don’t try harder, try different  https://www.soberpowered.com/willpower

Support the show:

If you enjoyed this episode please consider buying me a coffee to support all the research and effort that goes into this podcast https://www.buymeacoffee.com/soberpowered

Thank you for supporting this show by supporting my sponsors https://www.soberpowered.com/sponsors

Sources are posted on my website

Disclaimer: all of the information described in this podcast is my interpretation of the research combined with my opinion. This is not medical advice. 

Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

On June 25, 2020 I decided to start this podcast. You’ll learn the story of how this podcast started, how it’s changed my sobriety, how it’s changed me professionally, how it’s helped me do my own “work”, and some of the hurtful things people have said to me over the years. I want to share about the shifts I’ve had to make to sustain being a public person. These are, addressing my addiction to work, learning to not depend on external validation and recognition, being ok with being misunderstood, and letting go of old dreams that no longer fit who I am today.

Work with me:

Community & Meetings: Living a Sober Powered Life https://www.soberpowered.com/membership

Sober coaching https://www.soberpowered.com/sober-coaching

 Weekly email:

You’ll hear from me on Fridays https://www.soberpowered.com/email

Free resources https://www.soberpowered.com/free

Courses:

The non-negotiable mindset https://www.soberpowered.com/mindset-course

Don’t try harder, try different  https://www.soberpowered.com/willpower

Support the show:

If you enjoyed this episode please consider buying me a coffee to support all the research and effort that goes into this podcast https://www.buymeacoffee.com/soberpowered

Thank you for supporting this show by supporting my sponsors https://www.soberpowered.com/sponsors

Sources are posted on my website

Disclaimer: all of the information described in this podcast is my interpretation of the research combined with my opinion. This is not medical advice. 

Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Besides not drinking, one of the simplest ways to heal the damage left behind from your drinking days is to exercise consistently. In this episode, I’ll explain how exercise helps to heal the body and brain, specific types of exercise that are beneficial, and how exercise can increase the likelihood that you’ll resist cravings and stay sober. You’ll learn 5 ways to get started if making exercise a consistent routine is difficult for you, and I’ll discuss a common trap many of us fall into: obsessing over weight loss.

What to listen to next:

E188: wellness over weight loss

E222: 6 neurotransmitters that get messed up by alcohol

E254: Why You Can’t Make Good Decisions About Your Drinking (or Anything Else)

Work with me:

Community & Meetings: Living a Sober Powered Life ⁠https://www.soberpowered.com/membership⁠

Sober coaching ⁠https://www.soberpowered.com/sober-coaching⁠

 Weekly email:

You’ll hear from me on Fridays ⁠https://www.soberpowered.com/email⁠

Free resources ⁠https://www.soberpowered.com/free⁠

Courses:

The non-negotiable mindset ⁠https://www.soberpowered.com/mindset-course⁠

Don't try harder, try different https://www.soberpowered.com/willpower⁠

Support the show:

If you enjoyed this episode please consider buying me a coffee to support all the research and effort that goes into this podcast ⁠https://www.buymeacoffee.com/soberpowered⁠

Thank you for supporting this show by supporting my sponsors ⁠https://www.soberpowered.com/sponsors⁠

Sources are posted on my website

Disclaimer: all of the information described in this podcast is my interpretation of the research combined with my opinion. This is not medical advice.

Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

When we quit drinking, it’s pretty common to pick up another crutch or transfer the addiction to something else like food, work, cannabis, shopping, etc. Your brain still wants comfort, relief, stimulation, and escape and it’s easy to use other methods of relief instead of doing the emotional work and not needing relief. In this episode, I discuss the desire to replace alcohol with something else, how we do this in unhealthy ways, and what healthy reward substitution looks like. If you’ve ever said “at least it’s not alcohol”, then this episode is for you!

Work with me:

Community & Meetings: Living a Sober Powered Life https://www.soberpowered.com/membership

Sober coaching https://www.soberpowered.com/sober-coaching

 Weekly email:

You’ll hear from me on Fridays https://www.soberpowered.com/email

Free resources https://www.soberpowered.com/free

Courses:

The non-negotiable mindset https://www.soberpowered.com/mindset-course

Anger Management  https://www.soberpowered.com/anger

Support the show:

If you enjoyed this episode please consider buying me a coffee to support all the research and effort that goes into this podcast https://www.buymeacoffee.com/soberpowered

Thank you for supporting this show by supporting my sponsors https://www.soberpowered.com/sponsors

Sources are posted on my website

Disclaimer: all of the information described in this podcast is my interpretation of the research combined with my opinion. This is not medical advice. 

Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Learning to put effort into our lives, be patient, and not rely on instant gratification is challenging. Alcohol teaches us that we can have what we want immediately and with no effort. Real life doesn’t work that way. In this episode, I explain alcohol myopia, which is how alcohol narrows our focus and prevents us from accurately thinking about the future. You’ll learn about how your brain is wired for instant gratification and how to start breaking out of this when you get sober.

What to listen to next:

E254: Why You Can’t Make Good Decisions About Your Drinking (or Anything Else)

E263: Sugar Cravings After Quitting Drinking

E265: Rewiring Your Reward System After Getting Sober

E267: Resources vs Support

Work with me:

Community & Meetings: Living a Sober Powered Life https://www.soberpowered.com/membership

Sober coaching https://www.soberpowered.com/sober-coaching

 Weekly email:

You’ll hear from me on Fridays https://www.soberpowered.com/email

Free resources https://www.soberpowered.com/free

Courses:

The non-negotiable mindset https://www.soberpowered.com/mindset-course

Anger Management  https://www.soberpowered.com/anger

Support the show:

If you enjoyed this episode please consider buying me a coffee to support all the research and effort that goes into this podcast https://www.buymeacoffee.com/soberpowered

Thank you for supporting this show by supporting my sponsors https://www.soberpowered.com/sponsors

Sources are posted on my website

Disclaimer: all of the information described in this podcast is my interpretation of the research combined with my opinion. This is not medical advice. 

Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Maybe your drinking isn’t/wasn’t that bad, but does that mean it’s good? If you don’t truly face what you’re doing, then how can you expect to change and move forward? In this episode, we dig into the psychological tricks we use to protect ourselves from the truth about our drinking- minimizing, rationalizing, and rewriting the past. I explain how cognitive dissonance, memory decay, and emotional self-protection keep us stuck in the cycle, and why excusing our behavior prevents real change. You'll learn what happens in the brain when we reframe harmful moments as one time occurrences, and how that keeps us from learning, growing, or getting sober for good.

What to listen to next:

E164: how taking breaks help me quit drinking for good

Work with me:

Community & Meetings: Living a Sober Powered Life https://www.soberpowered.com/membership

Sober coaching https://www.soberpowered.com/sober-coaching

 Weekly email:

You’ll hear from me on Fridays https://www.soberpowered.com/email

Free resources https://www.soberpowered.com/free

Courses:

The non-negotiable mindset https://www.soberpowered.com/mindset-course

Anger Management  https://www.soberpowered.com/anger

Support the show:

If you enjoyed this episode please consider buying me a coffee to support all the research and effort that goes into this podcast https://www.buymeacoffee.com/soberpowered

Thank you for supporting this show by supporting my sponsors https://www.soberpowered.com/sponsors

Sources are posted on my website

Disclaimer: all of the information described in this podcast is my interpretation of the research combined with my opinion. This is not medical advice. 

Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

When the sun comes out, so do the memories of “fun” drinking days, but are those memories even accurate? In this episode, I break down how your brain edits the past to make alcohol look better than it really was. I’ll explain how dopamine, emotional memory, and the fading affect bias distort your perception of your drinking life, and why the “good times” are often more fantasy than fact. You’ll learn how to interrupt the craving cycle before it starts and I’ll share a personal story about my own distorted alcohol memories around drinking on vacation. If you’ve been feeling nostalgic for a version of drinking that never really existed, this episode will help you ground yourself in the truth.

What to listen to next:

E220: The Hippocampus and Alcohol: Blackouts, Memory Deficits, and Learned Associations

Work with me:

Community & Meetings: Living a Sober Powered Life https://www.soberpowered.com/membership

Sober coaching https://www.soberpowered.com/sober-coaching

 Weekly email:

You’ll hear from me on Fridays https://www.soberpowered.com/email

Free resources https://www.soberpowered.com/free

Courses:

The non-negotiable mindset https://www.soberpowered.com/mindset-course

Anger Management  https://www.soberpowered.com/anger

Support the show:

If you enjoyed this episode please consider buying me a coffee to support all the research and effort that goes into this podcast https://www.buymeacoffee.com/soberpowered

Thank you for supporting this show by supporting my sponsors https://www.soberpowered.com/sponsors

Sources are posted on my website

Disclaimer: all of the information described in this podcast is my interpretation of the research combined with my opinion. This is not medical advice. 

Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Are these harmless thoughts or do they lead to relapse? In this episode you’ll learn what is going on in your brain when you romanticize alcohol, how this can make being sober more challenging, and 3 ways to break the romanticizing loop. I’ll share a story from 4 years ago about when I romanticized alcohol, how I used tools, and what that same situation would look like today.

What to listen to next:

E269: Autopilot mode

E273: How the sober brain breaks down alcohol associations

Work with me:

Community & Meetings: Living a Sober Powered Life https://www.soberpowered.com/membership

Sober coaching https://www.soberpowered.com/sober-coaching

 Weekly email:

You’ll hear from me on Fridays https://www.soberpowered.com/email

Free resources https://www.soberpowered.com/free

Courses:

The non-negotiable mindset https://www.soberpowered.com/mindset-course

Anger Management  https://www.soberpowered.com/anger

Support the show:

If you enjoyed this episode please consider buying me a coffee to support all the research and effort that goes into this podcast https://www.buymeacoffee.com/soberpowered

Thank you for supporting this show by supporting my sponsors https://www.soberpowered.com/sponsors

Sources are posted on my website

Disclaimer: all of the information described in this podcast is my interpretation of the research combined with my opinion. This is not medical advice. 

Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

When we start doing “the work”, it’s normal for your behavior to swing hard in the other direction. Emotions become more intense, old memories flood back, or you may feel like everyone needs to know how they’ve wronged you. This is the pendulum effect. We are learning how to do life without alcohol, and that process takes experimentation. In this episode, I explain why the pendulum effect happens, what to expect, the most common things I’ve observed, and 3 ways to start coping so the pendulum can begin to settle in the middle. You’ll learn about all the different things that are going on in your brain that make the healing process more intense.

E247: Sober Sleep is the Best Sleep, But Not Right Away

E269: Autopilot Mode

E276: A Burst of Mental Clarity at 60 Days Sober (Cognitive Healing)

Work with me:

Community & Meetings: Living a Sober Powered Life https://www.soberpowered.com/membership

Sober coaching https://www.soberpowered.com/sober-coaching

 Weekly email:

You’ll hear from me on Fridays https://www.soberpowered.com/email

Free resources https://www.soberpowered.com/free

Courses:

The non-negotiable mindset https://www.soberpowered.com/mindset-course

Anger Management  https://www.soberpowered.com/anger

Support the show:

If you enjoyed this episode please consider buying me a coffee to support all the research and effort that goes into this podcast https://www.buymeacoffee.com/soberpowered

Thank you for supporting this show by supporting my sponsors https://www.soberpowered.com/sponsors

Sources are posted on my website

Disclaimer: all of the information described in this podcast is my interpretation of the research combined with my opinion. This is not medical advice. 

Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices