We are experts at making our emotions much worse than they really are. You might feel stressed, and within a few seconds it becomes “I can’t handle this.” You feel overwhelmed, and suddenly it’s “this is too much.” You feel stuck or frustrated, and your mind goes to “this is never going to change.”

In those moments, it doesn’t feel like a thought. It feels true. It’s not just that you’re feeling something uncomfortable. It’s that the feeling turns into a conclusion about your life.

Stress turns into “I can’t handle this.” Frustration turns into “this will never change.” Discomfort turns into “I need this to stop.”

Once that happens, it changes how you experience everything. It changes how you think, feel, and what you want to do next. So in this episode, we’re going to break down why that happens. Why emotions don’t just stay as emotions, why your brain turns them into meaning, and why that can make you feel trapped, overwhelmed, or hopeless, even when the situation itself hasn’t actually changed.

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If you enjoyed this episode please consider buying me a coffee to support all the research and effort that goes into this podcast https://www.buymeacoffee.com/soberpowered

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Sources are posted on my website

Disclaimer: all of the information described in this podcast is my interpretation of the research combined with my opinion. This is not medical advice. 

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A lot of people quit drinking expecting to feel calmer. You think sobriety is going to reduce anxiety, improve sleep, and make life feel more stable. It does… eventually. But for a while, many people experience the opposite. You feel on edge for no clear reason. Small things overwhelm you. You’re exhausted but can’t fully relax. Your sleep is inconsistent, your emotions are intense, and stress hits harder than it used to.

And this is where people start to wonder if something is wrong, or worse, if alcohol was actually helping. Years of drinking trained your body to live in a constant state of stress. In this episode, we’re going to talk about what alcohol actually does to the nervous system, why sobriety can feel so dysregulating at first, and how your brain and body relearn safety over time.

Get the E313 email that I reference at the end https://soberpowered.myflodesk.com/e313

Work with me:

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Weekly email:

You’ll hear from me on Fridays https://www.soberpowered.com/email

Support the show:

If you enjoyed this episode please consider buying me a coffee to support all the research and effort that goes into this podcast https://www.buymeacoffee.com/soberpowered

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Sources are posted on my website

Disclaimer: all of the information described in this podcast is my interpretation of the research combined with my opinion. This is not medical advice. 

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You can know alcohol is hurting you. You can want to quit. You can be exhausted by the consequences. And then still drink. In this episode, we’re talking about ambivalence: what it actually is in the brain, why negative consequences don’t always make us change, and how drinking shifts decision-making from intentional to automatic. I’ll also discuss how ambivalence can creep back in long after you’ve made the decision and result in the slow drift back to drinking.

E269: Autopilot mode

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Weekly email:

You’ll hear from me on Fridays https://www.soberpowered.com/email

Support the show:

If you enjoyed this episode please consider buying me a coffee to support all the research and effort that goes into this podcast https://www.buymeacoffee.com/soberpowered

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Sources are posted on my website

Disclaimer: all of the information described in this podcast is my interpretation of the research combined with my opinion. This is not medical advice. 

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You probably expect that the more sober time you have, the less you crave alcohol. That’s true for some people, but others experience an effect called incubation of craving. This is where cravings build up over time and peak around 60 days, then again around 6 months sober. In this episode, I’ll explain the research on incubation of craving, what you might experience, why this happens, and what you can do to stay sober.

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Community & Meetings: Living a Sober Powered Life https://www.soberpowered.com/membership

Sober coaching https://www.soberpowered.com/sober-coaching

Course

Pickled. Why Moderation is Impossible https://www.soberpowered.com/pickled

Weekly email:

You’ll hear from me on Fridays https://www.soberpowered.com/email

Support the show:

If you enjoyed this episode please consider buying me a coffee to support all the research and effort that goes into this podcast https://www.buymeacoffee.com/soberpowered

Thank you for supporting this show by supporting my sponsors https://www.soberpowered.com/sponsors

Sources are posted on my website

Disclaimer: all of the information described in this podcast is my interpretation of the research combined with my opinion. This is not medical advice. 

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Sugar cravings in early sobriety make sense. What many of us don’t expect is still needing something sweet months or even years later. In this episode, we’re going to unpack why that happens, what sugar is really doing for your nervous system, and why this phase has less to do with food and more to do with healing.

Work with me:

Community & Meetings: Living a Sober Powered Life https://www.soberpowered.com/membership

Sober coaching https://www.soberpowered.com/sober-coaching

Course

Pickled. Why Moderation is Impossible https://www.soberpowered.com/pickled

Weekly email:

You’ll hear from me on Fridays https://www.soberpowered.com/email

Support the show:

If you enjoyed this episode please consider buying me a coffee to support all the research and effort that goes into this podcast https://www.buymeacoffee.com/soberpowered

Thank you for supporting this show by supporting my sponsors https://www.soberpowered.com/sponsors

Sources are posted on my website

Disclaimer: all of the information described in this podcast is my interpretation of the research combined with my opinion. This is not medical advice. 

Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

When I quit drinking, I didn’t realize how emotionally immature I was, or how much alcohol had been doing for me behind the scenes. In this episode, I talk about why removing alcohol can make emotions feel (more) unbearable at first, how years of emotional avoidance catch up to us in sobriety, and why this phase puts people at risk for relapse. We’ll also talk about what emotional sobriety actually means, and why learning to tolerate discomfort is what makes sobriety sustainable.

Work with me:

Community & Meetings: Living a Sober Powered Life https://www.soberpowered.com/membership

Sober coaching https://www.soberpowered.com/sober-coaching

Course

Pickled. Why Moderation is Impossible https://www.soberpowered.com/pickled

Weekly email:

You’ll hear from me on Fridays https://www.soberpowered.com/email

Support the show:

If you enjoyed this episode please consider buying me a coffee to support all the research and effort that goes into this podcast https://www.buymeacoffee.com/soberpowered

Thank you for supporting this show by supporting my sponsors https://www.soberpowered.com/sponsors

Sources are posted on my website

Disclaimer: all of the information described in this podcast is my interpretation of the research combined with my opinion. This is not medical advice. 

Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

If you’re sober but still exhausted, foggy, or struggling to think clearly, it’s not random. Early sobriety fatigue has very real causes, from changes in brain energy utilization to sleep disruption and structural recovery. In this episode, I explain what the research actually shows about how the brain heals after alcohol, why recovery happens in layers, and what that means for how you feel right now. Understanding this can change how you experience early sobriety.

Work with me:

Community & Meetings: Living a Sober Powered Life https://www.soberpowered.com/membership

Sober coaching https://www.soberpowered.com/sober-coaching

Course

Pickled. Why Moderation is Impossible https://www.soberpowered.com/pickled

Weekly email:

You’ll hear from me on Fridays https://www.soberpowered.com/email

Support the show:

If you enjoyed this episode please consider buying me a coffee to support all the research and effort that goes into this podcast https://www.buymeacoffee.com/soberpowered

Thank you for supporting this show by supporting my sponsors https://www.soberpowered.com/sponsors

Sources are posted on my website

Disclaimer: all of the information described in this podcast is my interpretation of the research combined with my opinion. This is not medical advice. 

Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

A lot of people do Dry January hoping it will reset their relationship with alcohol, and then feel confused or discouraged when it doesn’t. Dry January works, just not in the way most people think it does. If you’ve ever taken a 30, 90, or even year-long break from drinking, felt better, and then slowly slid back into the same patterns, this episode will explain why. We’ll talk about why willpower works during the challenge but fails afterward, why the brain treats breaks as an exception instead of a turning point, and what actually has to change for sobriety to stick. Once you understand the difference between a pause and a rewire, a lot of self-blame starts to fall away. 

E296-300 drinking motives and how problem drinking develops/escalates

Work with me:

Community & Meetings: Living a Sober Powered Life https://www.soberpowered.com/membership

Sober coaching https://www.soberpowered.com/sober-coaching

Course

Pickled. Why Moderation is Impossible https://www.soberpowered.com/pickled

Weekly email:

You’ll hear from me on Fridays https://www.soberpowered.com/email

Support the show:

If you enjoyed this episode please consider buying me a coffee to support all the research and effort that goes into this podcast https://www.buymeacoffee.com/soberpowered

Thank you for supporting this show by supporting my sponsors https://www.soberpowered.com/sponsors

Sources are posted on my website

Disclaimer: all of the information described in this podcast is my interpretation of the research combined with my opinion. This is not medical advice. 

Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Did we blast our brains beyond repair with all of our drinking? What if you drank heavily for decades? Are you doomed? In this episode I’m explaining a ton of different studies on brain recovery in sobriety. You’ll learn what to expect as you get more sober time, if our brains make a full recovery, how long it takes to see improvement, how drinking less impacts your brain, and more about how alcohol damages the brain.

Work with me:

Community & Meetings: Living a Sober Powered Life https://www.soberpowered.com/membership

Sober coaching https://www.soberpowered.com/sober-coaching

Course

Pickled. Why Moderation is Impossible https://www.soberpowered.com/pickled

Weekly email:

You’ll hear from me on Fridays https://www.soberpowered.com/email

Support the show:

If you enjoyed this episode please consider buying me a coffee to support all the research and effort that goes into this podcast https://www.buymeacoffee.com/soberpowered

Thank you for supporting this show by supporting my sponsors https://www.soberpowered.com/sponsors

Sources are posted on my website

Disclaimer: all of the information described in this podcast is my interpretation of the research combined with my opinion. This is not medical advice. 

Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

The witching hour, or usually hours for most of us, are the time of day where you typically drink and want to drink the most when you’re sober. This could be morning for some people, it could be 4-7pm, 6-8pm, it varies. This time block is when your biology, habits, and old reward wiring collide: cortisol is dropping, your prefrontal cortex has less decision bandwidth, and your brain is scanning for the routine that used to deliver relief. The evening cue your brain fires isn’t proof you need alcohol, it’s proof you drank often enough and long enough that your brain automated it. Today, we’re digging into why 5–9 PM feels like the danger zone, what’s happening under the surface in the brain and nervous system, and how understanding those mechanisms helps you respond differently this time.

What to listen to next:

E249: Stress & Cravings

E265: Rewiring the reward system

Work with me:

Community & Meetings: Living a Sober Powered Life https://www.soberpowered.com/membership

Sober coaching https://www.soberpowered.com/sober-coaching

Course

Pickled. Why Moderation is Impossible https://www.soberpowered.com/pickled

Weekly email:

You’ll hear from me on Fridays https://www.soberpowered.com/email

Support the show:

If you enjoyed this episode please consider buying me a coffee to support all the research and effort that goes into this podcast https://www.buymeacoffee.com/soberpowered

Thank you for supporting this show by supporting my sponsors https://www.soberpowered.com/sponsors

Sources are posted on my website

Disclaimer: all of the information described in this podcast is my interpretation of the research combined with my opinion. This is not medical advice. 

Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices