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Stop Trying to Be Liked — Start Being Chased | Social Intelligence Briefing
AJ and Johnny break down the X-Factor Operating System — the mindset and skill set that turns overthinkers into magnetic communicators. If you’ve ever wondered why people seem to like you less the more you explain yourself, this episode shows you how to flip the script.
You’ll learn the three layers of the X-Factor OS and how to shift from approval-seeking to curiosity-creating. Discover how to master strategic withholding, read investment signals instead of approval cues, and build the calm, confident presence that draws people in without forcing connection.
This isn’t about becoming someone new — it’s about finally revealing the version of you that your closest friends already know.
Chapters:
00:00 – The real reason people don’t connect
02:00 – The X-Factor OS: revealing the real you
04:00 – The 80/20 rule for curiosity and intrigue
06:00 – Stop chasing approval — start reading signals
08:00 – How to spot real curiosity in conversation
10:00 – Identity replacement and the operator mindset
12:00 – Withholding as a superpower: making people chase you
14:00 – The 2-second rule for intrigue and control
16:00 – How to practice this skill in daily life
18:00 – Installing the X-Factor OS
02:00 – The X-Factor OS: revealing the real you
04:00 – The 80/20 rule for curiosity and intrigue
06:00 – Stop chasing approval — start reading signals
08:00 – How to spot real curiosity in conversation
10:00 – Identity replacement and the operator mindset
12:00 – Withholding as a superpower: making people chase you
14:00 – The 2-second rule for intrigue and control
16:00 – How to practice this skill in daily life
18:00 – Installing the X-Factor OS
A Word From Our Sponsors
Stop being over looked and unlock your X-Factor today at unlockyourxfactor.com
Check out Johnny on Instagram @Social_Intell or on Tiktok @social_intel
The very qualities that make you exceptional in your field are working against you socially. Visit the artofcharm.com/intel for a social intelligence assessment and discover exactly what's holding you back.
Don’t let financial opportunity slip through the cracks. Use code CHARM at monarch.com in your browser for HALF OFF your first year.
Indulge in affordable luxury with Quince. Upgrade your wardrobe today at quince.com/charm for free shipping and hassle-free returns.
Ready to turn your business idea into reality? Sign up for your $1/month trial at shopify.com/charm.
Need to hire top talent—fast? Claim your $75 Sponsored Job Credit now at Indeed.com/charm.
This year, skip breaking a sweat AND breaking the bank. Get your summer savings and shop premium wireless plans at mintmobile.com/charm
Save more than fifty percent on term life insurance at SELECTQUOTE.COM/CHARM TODAY to get started
Curious about your influence level?
Get your Influence Index Score today!
Take this 60-second quiz to find out how your influence stacks up against top performers at theartofcharm.com/influence.
Check in with AJ and Johnny!
AJ on LinkedIn
Johnny on LinkedIn
AJ on Instagram
Johnny on Instagram
The Art of Charm on Instagram
The Art of Charm on YouTube
The Art of Charm on TikTok
Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices
View all episodes
By The Art of Charm
4.7
1046610,466 ratings
AJ and Johnny break down the X-Factor Operating System — the mindset and skill set that turns overthinkers into magnetic communicators. If you’ve ever wondered why people seem to like you less the more you explain yourself, this episode shows you how to flip the script.
You’ll learn the three layers of the X-Factor OS and how to shift from approval-seeking to curiosity-creating. Discover how to master strategic withholding, read investment signals instead of approval cues, and build the calm, confident presence that draws people in without forcing connection.
This isn’t about becoming someone new — it’s about finally revealing the version of you that your closest friends already know.
Chapters:
00:00 – The real reason people don’t connect
02:00 – The X-Factor OS: revealing the real you
04:00 – The 80/20 rule for curiosity and intrigue
06:00 – Stop chasing approval — start reading signals
08:00 – How to spot real curiosity in conversation
10:00 – Identity replacement and the operator mindset
12:00 – Withholding as a superpower: making people chase you
14:00 – The 2-second rule for intrigue and control
16:00 – How to practice this skill in daily life
18:00 – Installing the X-Factor OS
02:00 – The X-Factor OS: revealing the real you
04:00 – The 80/20 rule for curiosity and intrigue
06:00 – Stop chasing approval — start reading signals
08:00 – How to spot real curiosity in conversation
10:00 – Identity replacement and the operator mindset
12:00 – Withholding as a superpower: making people chase you
14:00 – The 2-second rule for intrigue and control
16:00 – How to practice this skill in daily life
18:00 – Installing the X-Factor OS
A Word From Our Sponsors
Stop being over looked and unlock your X-Factor today at unlockyourxfactor.com
Check out Johnny on Instagram @Social_Intell or on Tiktok @social_intel
The very qualities that make you exceptional in your field are working against you socially. Visit the artofcharm.com/intel for a social intelligence assessment and discover exactly what's holding you back.
Don’t let financial opportunity slip through the cracks. Use code CHARM at monarch.com in your browser for HALF OFF your first year.
Indulge in affordable luxury with Quince. Upgrade your wardrobe today at quince.com/charm for free shipping and hassle-free returns.
Ready to turn your business idea into reality? Sign up for your $1/month trial at shopify.com/charm.
Need to hire top talent—fast? Claim your $75 Sponsored Job Credit now at Indeed.com/charm.
This year, skip breaking a sweat AND breaking the bank. Get your summer savings and shop premium wireless plans at mintmobile.com/charm
Save more than fifty percent on term life insurance at SELECTQUOTE.COM/CHARM TODAY to get started
Curious about your influence level?
Get your Influence Index Score today!
Take this 60-second quiz to find out how your influence stacks up against top performers at theartofcharm.com/influence.
Check in with AJ and Johnny!
AJ on LinkedIn
Johnny on LinkedIn
AJ on Instagram
Johnny on Instagram
The Art of Charm on Instagram
The Art of Charm on YouTube
The Art of Charm on TikTok
Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices
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