We all have baggage we bring into relationships. When we are emotionally triggered, we can either heal our pain or resist it and shove it back down. If you want to heal, these triggers are an opportunity to make a shift; to break patterns and do things differently. I’ve discovered a process I have personally used right in the middle of those highly-charged moments to detach from the old pain and see the situation for what it is. If you feel completely out of control when those old beliefs are triggered, unable to stop the emotional spew that follows, you’ll want to listen in.

It starts with learning your thoughts and feelings from the past have no relevance to the present. Nope, none. Reactions are totally based in the past. We bring them into the present because we’ve been conditioned to do so, but the awesome thing is that they aren’t inextricably tied together. You can CHOOSE to disconnect them from what’s currently going on. The danger of those feelings is they can drive us to recreate past drama even when the present situation doesn’t call for it. We end up in a loop based on our negative beliefs: old feelings—present situation—drama based on old conditioning. We are unconsciously stuck in a loop because we’re looking for evidence to support our belief, and we usually create a familiar outcome; one we’ve created over and over in our relationships. When our partner triggers us, we assign meaning which doesn’t truly exist. So without knowing what we want from him/her, we have unconscious expectations where all we know is the pain we feel. We often can’t tell if we’re reacting to the current situation or to the past. The pain is old and deep.

Have you experienced this in your relationships and want to stop feeling disconnected from what is happening? Maybe you feel “crazy” or tired of picking up the pieces from the damage of an emotional over-reaction when your partner does something to unintentionally set you off. Join me to learn the six key points meant to help you move from your belief to the underlying pain, as well as healing steps to take at any point in the emotional baggage loop. It’s uncomfortable because you have to deal with your beliefs and the old pain locked inside, but it’s how true change happens for those who are willing. Learn how to become emotionally present and have better control of your emotions, instead of being swept up in a time machine of pain long past.