There is a strange tension when we want so badly for the people we love to support us, but want to shield them from the pain at the same time. This is a beautiful, terrible kind of love. 

In this conversation, Kate and bestselling writer Suleika Jaouad discuss:

• What it is like to be the one suffering—all the guilt and shame and rage and mercy and grace 
• How we can create better economies of love around those who need it
• The toll illness takes on those around us

This episode originally aired in 2021, but is one of our all-time favorites for an honest conversation on being a cancer patient and how to support people in your lives who are undergoing treatment. Kate ends with a blessing for those who feel like their problem is too much to handle—a blessing if you feel like "the bad thing."

If you liked this episode, you might also love: 

• Suleika Jaouad on living between the kingdom of the well and the kingdom of the sick
• Tig Notaro on being the luckiest unlucky person
• For When You’ve Been Diagnosed Support Guide

You are Not the Bad Thing Printable + Phone Background

A blessing for the lives we didn’t choose

A blessing for keeping our hearts soft when everything is broken

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Watch clips from this conversation, read the full transcript, and access discussion questions by clicking here or visiting katebowler.com/podcasts.

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