The 3 perils of doing it yourself healing...

I have done a lot of DIY healing. Some of it was all I had available to me due to finances. Much of it was due to a deep wound in my identity that said, "be needless. do it yourself" and "when they know you this way, they'll abandon you."

Being raised to regulate other people's feelings with the promise that they'll take care of me and then being betrayed and abandoned when I was in need created this.

Many "needless" codependents have this same struggle.

If this is you, I see you and hold great warmth and understanding.

And there are 3 things you need to "chew on" if you're in this place and considering bringing on help (mine or others):

1) DIY cannot show you the blind spots you have. You need an independent set of eyes to help you see what you're unconscious to in your behaviors, beliefs, and patterns.

You *will* repeat your patterns if the blind spots are not made conscious and shifted.

You deserve a mentor, a course with community support, or therapist that see you warmly, kindly, and honestly.

2) DIY will cost you more in time, emotion, health, and money in the long run. It's cost me over 100K along with many sleepless, stressed nights and days.
You deserve to rest, to have returns on your time, energy, and money that bring more to your life.

If the money isn't there, I recommend sticking to specific people's youtube, podcast, email, etc that you trust.  Do what they recommend. Practice and stay CONSISTENT. Jumping around will interfere more than it will help.

3) DIY feeds into the narrative that you don't need others. You do. You know you do.

You deserve community, belonging, and supportive reflection.

It is time to end the Do-it-Yourself Healing fantasy. We need you. You need us. We heal together. We thrive together.

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Connect with me here: https://links.freetheself.com