Have you ever felt like reaching out for help is a sign of weakness? You're not alone. In this eye-opening episode of the Addicted Mind podcast, hosts Duane Osterlind and Eric Osterlind delve into the powerful impact of asking for help on the journey to recovery.

Asking for help can be one of the hardest steps in addiction recovery, but it's also one of the most crucial. Duane and Eric discuss common barriers like shame, denial, and fear of vulnerability that keep people from seeking the support they need. They share personal stories and insights from their experiences as therapists, emphasizing that recovery flourishes in connection and not in isolation. Listen in as they break down five key internal beliefs that often prevent people from reaching out and offer practical advice on overcoming these hurdles. By the end of the episode, you'll understand why seeking help is not a sign of weakness but a profound act of courage and strength.

Download: BUILDING YOUR SUPPORT NETWORK AND ASKING FOR HELP

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Key topics

• The 5 main barriers to asking for help in addiction recovery

• Why social support is crucial for maintaining long-term sobriety

• How childhood experiences can affect our ability to seek help

• The importance of vulnerability in the recovery process

• Practical steps to overcome the fear of asking for support

• Free resources to help build your support network

Timestamps

[00:01:06] Introduction to the importance of asking for help in recovery

[00:03:51] Discussing the 5 internal beliefs that prevent people from seeking help

[00:04:12] Exploring shame and stigma as barriers

[00:05:26] Addressing denial in addiction

[00:06:34] The fear of vulnerability and its roots

[00:08:00] Self-reliance mindset and its impact on seeking help

[00:09:57] Dealing with hopelessness in addiction recovery

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Supporting Resources:

If you live in California and are looking for counseling or therapy please check out Novus Mindful Life Counseling and Recovery Center

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Everyone has a level of healthy narcissism. We all see things through our lens to some degree. The narcissist, however, has pathological levels of self-involvement and he or she experiences fundamental developmental deficits early on in life.

According to author and speaker, Julie Hall, addiction is a huge part of the narcissistic family system. There is a pattern of depression, anger, confusion with family rifts, and alienation, and there is no awareness of what the core issue is. 

In her book, The Narcissist In Your Life: Recognizing the Patterns and Learning to Break Free, Julie breaks down the pattern of a narcissistic personality disorder.

Narcissism vs. Narcissistic Personality Disorder

Everyone has a level of healthy narcissism. We all see things through our lens to some degree. The narcissist, however, has pathological levels of self-involvement and he or she experiences fundamental developmental deficits early on in life. 

With narcissists, there’s an underlying sense of profound vulnerability, shame, inferiority, and worthlessness. 

Narcissism is a defensive coping structure and children who develop this kind of coping structure tend to repress their feelings of vulnerability and shame. They build an exterior persona to mask their overwhelming feelings. 

They develop a false grandiose and superior personality, often becoming domineering and competitive. They are out of touch with their inner, emotional world and so they don’t actively engage with people on an emotional level. 

The narcissistic personality avoids self-reflection at all costs and it learns to mimic certain behaviors that look like intimacy. 

Narcissists tend to see themselves and others as either worthless or wonderful. When they see themselves (or others) as perfect, they need to stay that way in order not to feel worthless. They seem to be in a state that is disconnected from other people.

The Narcissistic Family and Its Role in Addiction

In a family in which one or both of the parents are narcissistic, the family is structured in such a way that the needs of the children are secondary to the needs of the parents. Several dysfunctional families are set up that way. But there are differences unique to a narcissistic family as opposed to an alcoholic family or an addicted family.

Addiction is a huge part of this whole narcissistic family system. People coming out of families like this are dysregulated themselves, and they are carrying complex trauma. There’s a pattern of depression, anger, confusion, family rifts, and alienation.

It manifests in many ways, whether it’s substance abuse, sex addiction, eating disorders, or any kind of addiction. There’s a loss of homeostasis when you’re in that traumatizing environment. And so, you try to find a way to cope with all of the confusion.

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Episode Credits

If you like this podcast and are thinking of creating your own, consider talking to my producer, Emerald City Productions. They helped me grow and produce the podcast you are listening to right now. Find out more at https://emeraldcitypro.com Let them know we sent you

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Have you ever felt like your emotions are running the show, pushing and pulling you in directions you don’t want to go? You’re not alone.

In this episode of the Addicted Mind Plus, hosts Duane Osterlind and Eric Osterlind dive deep into the world of emotion regulation. They explore common myths about emotions that keep many of us stuck in unhealthy patterns. With practical insights and compassionate guidance, Duane and Eric shed light on how our misunderstandings about emotions can lead to more intense feelings and problematic behaviors.

By debunking these myths, they show us how to develop healthier relationships with our emotions, allowing us to make decisions that align with our true goals. Whether you’re struggling with impulsive reactions or avoidance strategies or just want to understand your emotions better, this episode is packed with valuable information that can help you navigate your emotional landscape more effectively.

Join Duane and Eric as they explore the myths surrounding emotion regulation and how these misconceptions can hinder our recovery journey. Learn about the importance of understanding your emotions from a biopsychosocial perspective and discover practical tips to regulate your emotions instead of letting them control you. By the end of this episode, you’ll have a better grasp of how to manage your emotions and make decisions that support your well-being.

Download: Debunking Common Emotion Myths Worksheet

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Supporting Resources:

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Imagine finding your true calling amidst the chaos of addiction recovery. That’s exactly what happened to Patrick Holbert, a former TV producer who took a leap of faith and became a stand-up comedian. In this episode, Patrick shares his incredible journey of overcoming addiction and how joining a 12-step program and the Artist's Way workshop led him to pursue his passion for comedy. We explore how his acclaimed show "Punchline Drunk" uses humor and personal storytelling to educate college students about alcohol abuse, and how fatherhood has added a new emotional layer to his performances.

Patrick opens up about the complexities of filling the void left by addiction with work and external validation, and the burnout that often follows. He candidly discusses the pivotal moment of joining an Artist's Way group, which helped him dive deeper into self-discovery and community support, ultimately highlighting the need for holistic recovery. We also touch on the courage it takes to seek meaningful change and the setbacks that can occur when old habits resurface, emphasizing the importance of addressing inner needs for true fulfillment in sobriety.

In this episode, you will hear:

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https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=x9W_bKp4qEw

www.youtube.com/patmiscellaneous

Instagram: @theholbertreport 

Episode Credits

If you like this podcast and are thinking of creating your own, consider talking to my producer, Emerald City Productions. They helped me grow and produce the podcast you are listening to right now. Find out more at https://emeraldcitypro.com Let them know we sent you.

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Welcome to the Addicted Mind podcast! Have you ever caught yourself thinking, "I'm either a success or a complete failure"? This episode is for you.

In this episode, we dive deep into the pervasive issue of black-and-white thinking, also known as dichotomous thinking and its impact on addiction recovery. Join Duane Osterlind and Eric Osterlind as they explore how this rigid mindset can create emotional instability and hinder progress. Drawing on principles from Dialectical Behavior Therapy (DBT), they discuss practical steps to move from extreme thinking to a more balanced, nuanced approach. You'll learn mindfulness techniques, how to challenge your thoughts, and the importance of embracing the gray areas in life. By the end of this episode, you'll have valuable tools to help you think more dialectically and support your journey to recovery. Plus, don't miss the downloadable worksheet in the show notes to further your practice!

Download: OVERCOMING BLACK OR WHITE THINKING WORKSHEET

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Supporting Resources:

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How do you manage the weight of expectation and the emotional toll of personal loss while thriving in the high-stakes world of professional football? Join us Duane as he sits down with Chris Hubbard, a celebrated NFL player and a fervent mental health advocate. From his roots in Columbus, Georgia, to the peaks and valleys of his collegiate career at UAB, Chris sheds light on the trials of being a first-generation college student and the seismic impact of losing his grandfather at the tender age of 19. His candid recounting of emotional struggles, his mother’s unwavering support, and the transformative decision to seek therapy at 25 are truly inspiring, leading to the creation of his mental health initiative, the Overcoming Together Foundation.

Discover the intense pressures that come with NFL draft day and the valuable lessons Chris gleaned from illustrious teammates like Troy Polamalu and Ben Roethlisberger during his early years with the Pittsburgh Steelers. He also delves into how losing touch with his core beliefs led to feelings of being lost and how therapy helped him confront deep-seated traumas, including the devastating loss of a friend to suicide. 

Chris also emphasizes the power of expressing emotions openly, breaking the societal mold of stoicism, and surrounding oneself with positive influences. Through his foundation, Overcoming Together, Chris is committed to fostering community support, spreading mental health awareness, and providing safe spaces for open dialogue, demonstrating that vulnerability is a strength and mental health support is transformative. 

In this episode, you will hear:

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Episode Credits

If you like this podcast and are thinking of creating your own, consider talking to my producer, Emerald City Productions. They helped me grow and produce the podcast you are listening to right now. Find out more at https://emeraldcitypro.com Let them know we sent you.

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In this episode of The Addicted Mind Plus, Duane and Eric dive deep into the unspoken roles that families often fall into, especially when dealing with addiction. They explore how these roles—like the hero, caretaker, scapegoat, mascot, and lost child—can perpetuate dysfunction and hinder recovery. By understanding and identifying these roles, you can begin to break free from the cycles that keep you stuck. Tune in to learn practical steps for recognizing these dynamics, fostering open communication, and setting boundaries that support your journey toward recovery and authentic living.

Download: UNMASKING FAMILY ROLES WORKSHEET

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Supporting Resources:

If you live in California and are looking for counseling or therapy please check out Novus Mindful Life Counseling and Recovery Center

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We want to hear from you. Leave us a message or ask us a question: https://www.speakpipe.com/addictedmind

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Can you imagine a life where alcohol isn’t the centerpiece of your social interactions? In this episode, Duane sits down with Veronica Valli, a recovery coach and psychotherapist, who challenges the deeply ingrained belief that a fulfilling life must include alcohol. She reveals the initial shock and eventual liberation that comes from meeting people who thrive without it. Having been alcohol-free for over 24 years, Veronica shares her deeply personal story. 

What began as binge drinking and drug experimentation in her teenage years in the UK led to severe consequences and a struggle for self-acceptance. Her tale is a testament to the power of emotional sobriety, which she considers the cornerstone of true recovery. Through candid anecdotes, she discusses the role of fear in maintaining alcohol dependence and how sobriety transforms one's perception of joy and connection. Veronica emphasizes the importance of managing emotions without alcohol and discovering the surprising joys of being fully present in life's moments.

This episode explores the rollercoaster of early sobriety and the necessity of a supportive community and the right tools to navigate this phase successfully. Veronica introduces her five pillars of sobriety – movement, connection, balance, process, and growth – as key components for maintaining and enriching a sober life. Duane and Veronica also cover addressing past trauma and shifting ingrained perceptions about alcohol. Veronica's journey is one of profound gratitude and clarity, offering hope and inspiration to anyone considering the path of sobriety.

In this episode, you will hear:

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Supporting Resources:

https://soberful.com/

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Episode Credits

If you like this podcast and are thinking of creating your own, consider talking to my producer, Emerald City Productions. They helped me grow and produce the podcast you are listening to right now. Find out more at https://emeraldcitypro.com Let them know we sent you.

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In this episode of The Addicted Mind Plus, Duane and Eric Osterlind dive into the difference between extrinsic and intrinsic goals and how they affect our well-being. Have you ever felt the high of achieving a big goal, only to have that happiness fade away? This episode explores why that happens and introduces the concept of the "hedonic treadmill." You'll learn how extrinsic goals, like money and status, give short-term happiness but don't last. In contrast, intrinsic goals, like personal growth and meaningful relationships, bring deeper and more lasting joy. Duane and Eric share practical tips on how to shift your focus to these intrinsic goals, cultivate gratitude, and build stronger, more fulfilling connections. They also discuss the importance of mindfulness, personal growth, and serving others in achieving true contentment. Tune in to discover how you can step off the hedonic treadmill and find real, sustainable happiness in your life.

Download: INTRINSIC VS. EXTRINSIC GOALS

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What happens when the traditional 12-step recovery program doesn’t quite fit your belief system? Licensed marriage and family therapist Jeffrey Munn joins Duane to share his deeply personal journey through addiction and recovery, which led him to author "Staying Sober Without God: The Practical 12 Steps to Long-Term Recovery from Alcoholism and Addiction." Jeffrey opens up about his battles with isolation and internal turmoil and highlights the crucial support from his parents that helped him navigate this challenging path. His story underscores the necessity of individualized recovery approaches and shines a light on the often-overlooked needs of atheists and agnostics in recovery.

Jeffrey discusses the integration of traditional 12-step programs with personalized mental health approaches, emphasizing the importance of addressing trauma, unresolved grief, and boundary-setting. He candidly recounts his own experience with the pressure to adopt a belief in a higher power within 12-step meetings and how this led to a temporary setback. Through his narrative, you'll learn about the significance of merging the wisdom of 12-step programs with modern psychological insights to create a more rational and personalized recovery journey. They also delve into the specifics of how inpatient rehab focusing on mental health practices played a pivotal role in his recovery.

The conversation takes a deeper turn as they examine the challenges and benefits of faith-based recovery for those who struggle with blind faith. Jeffrey provides a logical and practical perspective on the concept of "letting go and letting God," drawing parallels to principles in dialectical behavior therapy (DBT). 

In this episode, you will hear:

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https://www.practicallysane.org/

Staying Sober Without God: https://www.amazon.com/Staying-Sober-Without-God-Alcoholism-ebook/dp/B07MBVCS29 

NovusMindfulLife.com

Episode Credits

If you like this podcast and are thinking of creating your own, consider talking to my producer, Emerald City Productions. They helped me grow and produce the podcast you are listening to right now. Find out more at https://emeraldcitypro.com Let them know we sent you.

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See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.