The Adult Chair Podcast with Michelle Chalfant

The work we do in The Adult Chair® isn't just about healing past wounding, working with the inner child, parts work or uncovering unconscious programming (though you know I LOVE all of those things).

It's also about navigating everyday life...what's happening in the here and now.

Because let's be honest: when life comes at us (and it always does), it can be hard to stay grounded and in peace and balance. It's often the everyday experiences of flat tires, our kids talking back to us, our boss giving us a last-minute deadline and home projects gone awry where stress, anger, and anxiety build up and we find ourselves seated smack dab in our Adolescent Chair.

But that's exactly what The Adult Chair model is here for. It's a model for how to live as the healthiest version of yourself and a manual for everyday life..including when you're having just "one of those days."

In this episode, I'm walking you through some key Adult Chair principles that are designed to help you navigate everyday stress and stay in balance, even when curveballs get thrown your way. I'm sharing some real examples from my recent home remodel and how I was able to witness the choices I had in each small moment and choose the ones that pulled me out of stress and into peace (even when in a frustrating situation). These tips are simple and practical, and if I can do it, I promise you can too!

Listen to discover:

• How to live with presence
• Why curiosity can change any situation
• How to witness thoughts without buying into them
• The importance of protecting your own nervous system
• Working with triggers
• How to stay in your Adult when dealing with work and parenting challenges

These principles don't mean we don't feel stress or anger. They just mean we don't let it overtake us. When life happens, there is always a moment where we have a choice and that choice is to either go into the negativity or to take charge of the situation and do what is needed without added suffering or drama. This is how we honor our Child's emotions and the Adolescent's need to protect while operating from a place of consciousness and staying in our peaceful Adult Chair.

"When I live with presence, I'm not going into the past and pulling up ammunition for what's going on in my present moment, and I'm also not launching into the future to figure out what's coming." - Michelle Chalfant

"We've got 70,000 to 90,000 thoughts a day. We don't need to follow all of them." - Michelle Chalfant

"My emotions are not in control of me. They just run through me." - Michelle Chalfant

"The world mirrors where we are with…how well we're living in the healthiest version of ourselves." - Michelle Chalfant

"Things happen to us and how we see it and perceive it and tell the story can really stir up some serious drama." - Michelle Chalfant

"Drama is a choice. Pulling out anger is a choice. And it affects only me." - Michelle Chalfant

"We have to make choices and changes in our life to get ourselves out of stress." - Michelle Chalfant

Resources

The Adult Chair® Coaching Certification

https://theadultchair.com/certification-program/

P&G Hair Food

https://hairfood.com/

Or find at Bed Bath & Beyond, Amazon, Target or Walmart

More Adult Chair

The Adult Chair® Website

https://theadultchair.com

The Adult Chair® Membership

https://theadultchair.com/membership/

The Adult Chair® Workshop

https://theadultchair.com/events/

The Adult Chair® Coaching Certification

https://theadultchair.com/certification-program/

TAC Circles®

https://theadultchair.com/taccircles/

Stay Connected

Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/michelle.chalfant

Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/MichelleChalfantFanPage/

The Adult Chair® Facebook Group: https://www.facebook.com/groups/theadultchair/

YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/c/Michellechalfant

***

EPISODE CREDITS:

If you like this podcast and are thinking of creating your own, consider talking to my producer, Danny Ozment.

He helps thought leaders, influencers, executives, HR professionals, recruiters, lawyers, realtors, bloggers, coaches, and authors create, launch, and produce podcasts that grow their business and impact the world.

Find out more at https://emeraldcitypro.com

When we form intimate partnerships in life, it goes far beyond love. The relationship becomes our home, our social circle, our sense of safety, and our way of living.

That's why betrayal in intimate relationships, whether infidelity or lying, is so hurtful. It doesn't just cause emotional pain, but it also shakes our entire sense of safety and reality. It's a true multi-layered trauma that is not nearly as simple as breaking up and moving on or deciding to forgive and stay together.

The betrayed partner often faces feelings of confusion, self-doubt, shame, hurt, distrust and even PTSD. And the betrayer often has an addiction or attachment wound that underlies the betrayal. Both partners need support and healing, whether they choose to repair the relationship or step into a new chapter.

My guests today, Duane Osterlind and Marnie Breecker, both specialize in helping people heal after infidelity and betrayal by looking at it through a holistic lens that takes into account all the various forms of trauma that the betrayal has caused. In this episode, they share such important information about why betrayal is such a big deal, the different ways it affects us and how to rebuild safety and trust in a relationship if both partners decide they want to stay together. This is such an insightful show that sheds light on how attachment works, how trust forms, what trauma is and the deeper story behind betrayal.

Listen to discover:

• The six dimensions of betrayal trauma
• Why betrayal trauma can lead to PTSD
• How you can rebuild trust after a betrayal
• The importance of the "second brain"
• What the betrayed partner needs
• Where to find support
• The true source of affairs

At the end of the day, each one of us is seeking connection. When a betrayal occurs, it's often an unhealthy way of getting the connection we all crave. It is possible to rebuild a sense of safety, trust, secure attachment and connection after betrayal — whether you choose to rebuild that with the same partner or for yourself and in future relationships.

"We're talking about a lot of complex systems in the brain. We're talking about attachment. We're talking about where we are in this life." - Duane Osterlind

"When intimate relationships are betrayed, it impacts the primary feeling of safety that a person has in their life structure." - Duane Osterlind

"This is an existential crisis and an attachment trauma for the partner, and all systems of meaning have been shattered." - Marnie Breecker

"Our nature is to trust the person we're living with." - Michelle Chalfant

"We were wired to connect, and in order to connect, we have to be able to trust." - Marnie Breecker

"We don't know how to communicate in a healthy way with other people." - Michelle Chalfant

Resources

Helping Couples Heal (Duane and Marnie Website)

https://helpingcouplesheal.com/

Helping Couples Heal Podcast

https://helpingcouplesheal.com/podcasts/

Novus Mindful Life Institute (Duane Website)

https://novusmindfullife.com/

Center for Relational Healing (Marnie Website)

http://lacrh.com/

APSATS (The Association of Partners of Sex Addicts Trauma Specialists)

https://www.apsats.org/

IITAP (International Institute for Trauma and Addiction Professionals)

https://iitap.com/

The Adult Chair® Workshop - Charleston

https://theadultchair.com/charleston/

P&G Hair Food

https://hairfood.com/

Or find at Bed Bath & Beyond, Amazon, Target or Walmart

More Adult Chair

The Adult Chair® Website

https://theadultchair.com

The Adult Chair® Membership

https://theadultchair.com/membership/

The Adult Chair® Workshop

https://theadultchair.com/events/

The Adult Chair® Coaching Certification

https://theadultchair.com/certification-program/

TAC Circles®

https://theadultchair.com/taccircles/

Stay Connected

Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/michelle.chalfant

Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/MichelleChalfantFanPage/

The Adult Chair® Facebook Group: https://www.facebook.com/groups/theadultchair/

YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/c/Michellechalfant

***

EPISODE CREDITS:

If you like this podcast and are thinking of creating your own, consider talking to my producer, Danny Ozment.

He helps thought leaders, influencers, executives, HR professionals, recruiters, lawyers, realtors, bloggers, coaches, and authors create, launch, and produce podcasts that grow their business and impact the world.

Find out more at https://emeraldcitypro.com\

We all want healthier, stronger relationships. As beings wired for connection, relationships can bring us the greatest joy and fulfillment in life...or, when they're full of chaos, drama, miscommunication, and misunderstandings, they can bring lots of pain and confusion.

When we're experiencing relationship drama, our first reaction is to blame our partner or assume we're with the wrong person. But the truth is that we get to define our relationships by how we show up in them...we're creating either an Adolescent relationship (think blame, drama and ego) or an Adult relationship (centered on truth, clarity and empathy). We have the power to transform our relationships just by changing the Chair we're sitting in!

In this episode, I'm bringing back my friend, Tracy, who has shared her journey through her divorce and reentering the dating scene. Now, she's in a relationship and she is sharing how The Adult Chair® has helped her change that relationship for the better.

She opens up about how both she and her boyfriend brought their individual fears and doubts to the table and how a series of stories and assumptions actually led them to break up for several months. But when she realized this relationship was too important to her to lose, she decided to drop assumptions and blame and instead get vulnerable and speak her truth (be in her Adult Chair!). When she did this, it completely transformed the dynamics of her relationship, and it's now stronger than ever!

Listen to discover:

• How to use The Adult Chair model in relationships
• The moment that turned Tracy's relationship completely around
• How rationalization and blame ruin relationships
• How to get out of the weeds in relationship communication
• The power of vulnerability

Tracy did such an amazing job in the conversation she had with her boyfriend, and I'm so proud of how she models The Adult Chair for him and for everyone listening to the show. It is incredibly uncomfortable to get vulnerable. It's even more uncomfortable to let go of our ego, own our role in the relationship, stop trying to prove we're right and instead look for solutions. But when we do this, we invite our partner into a different kind of relationship — one centered on common goals, a higher perspective and a model that works!

"There has to be, when we're in our Adult Chair, taking responsibility, owning your reality, being honest and talking about the elephant in the room." - Michelle Chalfant

"I practiced speaking fact and truth and being totally vulnerable." - Tracy

"If you're having an argument, it gets you nowhere. You have to go with a higher perspective." - Michelle Chalfant

"I'm blown away by how the work you have done, this Adult Chair model, how it truly works." - Tracy

"It's no one's job but our own to share with others what we're experiencing." - Michelle Chalfant

"[The Adult Chair] gives us tools for how to show up in life." - Michelle Chalfant

Resources

Episode #179: I'm in a Relationship with a Narcissist

https://theadultchair.com/podcasts/179/

Episode #199: Dating from The Adult Chair®

https://theadultchair.com/podcasts/199/

The Adult Chair® Workshop - Charleston

https://theadultchair.com/charleston/

P&G Hair Food

https://hairfood.com/

Or find at Bed Bath & Beyond, Amazon, Target or Walmart

More Adult Chair

The Adult Chair® Website

https://theadultchair.com

The Adult Chair® Membership

https://theadultchair.com/membership/

The Adult Chair® Workshop

https://theadultchair.com/events/

The Adult Chair® Coaching Certification

https://theadultchair.com/certification-program/

TAC Circles®

https://theadultchair.com/taccircles/

Stay Connected

Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/michelle.chalfant

Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/MichelleChalfantFanPage/

The Adult Chair® Facebook Group: https://www.facebook.com/groups/theadultchair/

YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/c/Michellechalfant

***

EPISODE CREDITS:

If you like this podcast and are thinking of creating your own, consider talking to my producer, Danny Ozment.

He helps thought leaders, influencers, executives, HR professionals, recruiters, lawyers, realtors, bloggers, coaches, and authors create, launch, and produce podcasts that grow their business and impact the world.

Find out more at https://emeraldcitypro.com

We as a society and individuals don't do grief very well. For most of us, it's something we'd rather just not "do" at all. Even knowing what to say to a grieving friend can leave us tongue-tied and lost.

But as much as we wish it weren't true, if we're human, we're going to experience loss at some point in life. And grief takes many forms. It can come with a change in lifestyle, a relationship or job we love or with the loss of a pet, sending a child off to school or of course, the death or loss of a loved one.

We all experience loss, but we don't all experience grief...and we need to learn how to experience grief, because like any emotion, it heals when we turn toward it and allow ourselves to feel it.

In this episode, I'm talking with two beautiful women, sisters Sharon and Erica, grief specialists who guide others through grief based on their own personal journey of walking through grief together. Their journey started when Erica lost not one but two children, and they found how truly lacking they were for support and resources. They decided there must be a better way and began searching for ways to heal that actually worked.

In this episode, Sharon and Erica tell their honest, raw and real stories about loss and what it really looks like to heal.

Listen to discover:

• The true definition of grief and how we all have multiple grieving experiences
• The difference between experiencing grief and processing grief
• Why we should not compare our losses with someone else's
• The main reason people get stuck in grief
• The importance of teaching our children how to grieve
• The most important thing you can do for a griever

Sharon and Erica are full of such incredible insight and wisdom on what grief actually looks like, how to process it and why the traditional advice just doesn't work. If you're looking for advice on how to talk to or support someone who is grieving or how to heal from your own loss, I know this episode is going to help you see grief in a new way and let you know you're not alone.

"Grief is so overwhelming. It's completely debilitating. It affects every area of your life, every single relationship you have. So, who wants that?" – Erica Honore

"The most powerful thing you could do is just sit with a griever." – Sharon Brubaker

"One of the most disrespectful things you can say to a griever is 'I know how you feel.'" – Sharon Brubaker

"Healing from grief is possible. But what happens as a society is that we say you'll never get over that." – Sharon Brubaker

"Some days, I'm going to cry. Some days, I'm going to be mad. Some days, I'm not going to know what I feel. But it's all okay." – Erica Honore

LINKS & RESOURCES:

Healing Start with the Heart (Sharon and Erica's Website)

https://www.healingstartswiththeheart.com/

Other Podcast Episodes on Grief

https://theadultchair.com/podcasts/?sterm=grief

The Adult Chair® Coaches

https://theadultchair.com/coaches

The Adult Chair® Membership

https://theadultchair.com/membership/

P&G Hair Food

https://hairfood.com/

Or find at Bed Bath & Beyond, Amazon, Target or Walmart

MORE ADULT CHAIR:

The Adult Chair® Website

https://theadultchair.com

The Adult Chair® Membership

https://theadultchair.com/membership/

The Adult Chair® Workshop

https://theadultchair.com/events/

The Adult Chair® Coaching Certification

https://theadultchair.com/certification-program/

TAC Circles®

https://theadultchair.com/taccircles/

Stay Connected

Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/michelle.chalfant

Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/MichelleChalfantFanPage/

The Adult Chair® Facebook Group: https://www.facebook.com/groups/theadultchair/

YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/c/Michellechalfant

***

EPISODE CREDITS:

If you like this podcast and are thinking of creating your own, consider talking to my producer, Danny Ozment.

He helps thought leaders, influencers, executives, HR professionals, recruiters, lawyers, realtors, bloggers, coaches, and authors create, launch, and produce podcasts that grow their business and impact the world.

Find out more at https://emeraldcitypro.com

Codependency is one of those issues that can often come across as selfless to those around us...in fact, it might even earn us praise because we seem so nice and helpful (although at our own expense).

But what if I told you that codependency was actually a form of control? This episode today was inspired by a very insightful question from one of our listeners who shared his realization that in his codependency, he was being unintentionally manipulative and controlling. He was showing up as the ever-helpful husband, but he was often doing this from a place of trying to get his own needs met (earning his wife's love, support, etc.). Of course, this was not conscious, and once he had his awakening, he wanted to know how to move forward and learn how to be genuinely helpful and healthy.

Codependency is one of my favorite topics to talk about, and in this episode, I'm giving you five simple steps for what to do next when you find yourself asking, "I'm codependent. Now what?"

Listen to discover:

• How we improve our relationships with others when we're codependent
• Why this is different than intentional or abusive control
• Five steps to break the pattern of codependency
• Why realizing you're codependent isn't a bad thing

If this is you, the first step is to drop the blame and shame. You weren't trying to be manipulative; you were trying to survive based on what your programming told you to do. Once you realize this, you can step into a whole new chapter in your life...one filled with healthier relationships and a healthier connection to self!

"We're controlling and being manipulative from an unconscious place." - Michelle Chalfant

"We betray ourselves and change who we are in order to make sure other people outside of us are happy and peaceful. That's how it's manipulative and controlling." - Michelle Chalfant

"We need someone who can fact check us." - Michelle Chalfant

"That's why so many codependents are so exhausted, because our energy is going out to others all day, every day." - Michelle Chalfant

Resources

Other Podcast Episodes on Codependency

https://theadultchair.com/?s=codependency&pageName=default

The Adult Chair® Coaches

https://theadultchair.com/coaches

P&G Hair Food

https://hairfood.com/

Or find at Bed Bath & Beyond, Amazon, Target or Walmart

More Adult Chair

The Adult Chair® Website

https://theadultchair.com

The Adult Chair® Membership

https://theadultchair.com/membership/

The Adult Chair® Workshop

https://theadultchair.com/events/

The Adult Chair® Coaching Certification

https://theadultchair.com/certification-program/

TAC Circles®

https://theadultchair.com/taccircles/

Stay Connected

Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/michelle.chalfant

Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/MichelleChalfantFanPage/

The Adult Chair® Facebook Group: https://www.facebook.com/groups/theadultchair/

YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/c/Michellechalfant

***

EPISODE CREDITS:

If you like this podcast and are thinking of creating your own, consider talking to my producer, Danny Ozment.

He helps thought leaders, influencers, executives, HR professionals, recruiters, lawyers, realtors, bloggers, coaches, and authors create, launch, and produce podcasts that grow their business and impact the world.

Find out more at https://emeraldcitypro.com

The world around us demands so much of us. If we're not careful, it can erode our souls, steal our true selves and get us to believe lies about the source of our worth. We have to become conscious and aware to step into our true power and a whole, awakened life.

I have been a huge fan of Dr. Shefali for years. I got SO much out of her work on conscious parenting when my kids were young, and it's no wonder she's become so well known for her work. But her new book might just be my favorite yet — I truly couldn't put it down (it's SO aligned with The Adult Chair®) — and I'm beyond thrilled to have her on the show to discuss how to have a radical (and beautiful) awakening in life.

In this conversation, we explore the way our ego and our social conditioning covers up the true self and keeps us from living free lives. This can be especially true for those oriented towards giving, nurturing and connecting. Society takes these gifts and trains us to be outward focused, seeking praise, validation and approval instead of turning inward and claiming who we really are.

Dr. Shefali shares her own story of awakening, when she realized that despite her work, she was living in the "matrix" and ignoring her true wants and needs to try to get love from others (what she calls the "beggar" mentality). By going deep into the often difficult work of looking at the ego and the masks we all wear, she was able to strip away the lies and see what was true — and step into the authentic self-love and self-care we all deserve.

Listen to discover:

• Shefali's own radical awakening
• The trap women (and men) fall into
• How to stop suppressing the true self
• What soul erosion is and how it forms
• The "triple threat" women face in childhood
• The role of the ego in our life
• What keeps us from awakening (especially in our culture)

This is a profound conversation that will take the blinders off and change what you think is normal, while inspiring you to strive for what is truly possible for you — and for all of us.

"We, women especially, need to snap out of our chronic civility, helplessness and unworthiness." - Dr. Shefali

"We cannot waste our life never discovering our true self." - Dr. Shefali

"When we're told we can only be given worth when we put others before ourselves, now that giving heart leads to an obliteration of ourselves." - Dr. Shefali

"We're so disconnected from our true self, we don't know who we are at all." - Michelle Chalfant

"The way out is in. We have to go in to heal." - Michelle Chalfant

"I want what's on the other side of that wall, but you got to go through the wall, and the wall is our pain." - Michelle Chalfant

"We tell ourselves the greatest stories in the world, and we don't know we're telling ourselves stories." - Dr. Shefali

"The greatest narcissism is to pretend you're not a queen or a king and not own your voice." - Dr. Shefali

Resources

"A Radical Awakening" Book and Course

http://aradicalawakening.com/

Dr. Shefali Website

https://www.drshefali.com/

Free Inner Child Resource

https://theadultchair.com/innerchild

P&G Hair Food

https://hairfood.com/

Or find at Bed Bath & Beyond, Amazon, Target or Walmart

More Adult Chair

The Adult Chair® Website

https://theadultchair.com

The Adult Chair® Membership

https://theadultchair.com/membership/

The Adult Chair® Workshop

https://theadultchair.com/events/

The Adult Chair® Coaching Certification

https://theadultchair.com/certification-program/

TAC Circles®

https://theadultchair.com/taccircles/

Stay Connected

Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/michelle.chalfant

Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/MichelleChalfantFanPage/

The Adult Chair® Facebook Group: https://www.facebook.com/groups/theadultchair/

YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/c/Michellechalfant

***

EPISODE CREDITS:

If you like this podcast and are thinking of creating your own, consider talking to my producer, Danny Ozment.

He helps thought leaders, influencers, executives, HR professionals, recruiters, lawyers, realtors, bloggers, coaches, and authors create, launch, and produce podcasts that grow their business and impact the world.

Find out more at https://emeraldcitypro.com

It takes courage to do our work and look at the stuff that scares us, and I believe we all need encouragement and inspiration along the way. And the story I have for you today is SO inspiring!

I got to know Susan Gorey as part of The Adult Chair® Coaching Certification Program. From the beginning, I could feel Susan's strength and her fearlessness around speaking up for what she felt was right. But I also witnessed her unconsciously causing others to feel uncomfortable and unsafe around her. Susan called it putting off a feeling of "broken glass" — a sharpness or sense of conflict or that would sometimes come out in communication. During the certification program, she faced this "broken glass" and some of her deepest fears. This caused her to go through an incredible and fast transformation…and I know it's real, because it's stuck!

In this episode, Susan shares what it was like growing up in an environment filled with criticism and conflict and how that childhood wounding caused her to show up later in life — looking for love through masks, feeling like she had to be bold and strong and not always self-regulating her approach to conflict and relationships.

Then she shares how she used The Adult Chair and our work together to drop the cement suitcase she was carrying from childhood, go deep into the shadow beliefs she carried and transform from within so her wounding stopped running the show. This is a raw and real episode that shows what truly is possible on this journey of healing!

Listen to discover:

• Susan's story of transformation using The Adult Chair model
• How she broke a generational cycle of criticism and judgment
• Her journey of dropping the cement suitcase and no longer living from her wounding
• How we worked together to bring an experiential shift into her life
• The changes she has seen in herself and her relationships since her transformation

At the end of the episode, I share a very special surprise for Susan that might leave you a little teary-eyed (at least she and I were!).

I love Susan's story so much because it's a beautiful example of how we don't have to change who we are when we transform…we actually reveal who we really are. Susan's strength and tenacity are beautiful qualities — and now she and everyone around her gets to experience them from her Adult self instead of the wounded self.

Doing our work isn't easy, but as Susan shows, when we're willing to go into the darkness and shadows and walk through them, we can stop living in them and instead find new life on the other side!

"We have to clean our slate...because we can only take people as far as we have gone." - Michelle Chalfant

"I brought light to my shadowy areas." - Susan Gorey

"We all live from our childhood wounding. We all get covered up. That true self gets covered up by all these masks." - Michelle Chalfant

"In The Adult Chair, we become conscious of who we are and our wounding." - Michelle Chalfant

"What I realized is my wounding, my childhood, my sadness and all of those masks...I didn't have to carry it anymore." - Susan Gorey

"We get signs of who we are all the time." - Michelle Chalfant

"When we look at our stuff that scares us the most, we come out as transformed people." - Michelle Chalfant

Resources

Susan Gorey Website

https://forwardtogethercoaching.com/

The Adult Chair® Membership (May Theme: "I Own.")

https://theadultchair.com/membership/

The Adult Chair® Coaching Certification Program

https://theadultchair.com/certification-program/

P&G Hair Food

https://hairfood.com/

Or find at Bed Bath & Beyond, Amazon, Target or Walmart

More Adult Chair

The Adult Chair® Website

https://theadultchair.com

The Adult Chair® Membership

https://theadultchair.com/membership/

The Adult Chair® Workshop

https://theadultchair.com/events/

The Adult Chair® Coaching Certification Program

https://theadultchair.com/certification-program/

TAC Circles®

https://theadultchair.com/taccircles/

Stay Connected

Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/michelle.chalfant

Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/MichelleChalfantFanPage/

The Adult Chair® Facebook Group: https://www.facebook.com/groups/theadultchair/

YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/c/Michellechalfant

***

EPISODE CREDITS:

If you like this podcast and are thinking of creating your own, consider talking to my producer, Danny Ozment.

He helps thought leaders, influencers, executives, HR professionals, recruiters, lawyers, realtors, bloggers, coaches, and authors create, launch, and produce podcasts that grow their business and impact the world.

Find out more at https://emeraldcitypro.com

We talk a lot about how to set boundaries in The Adult Chair®, but sometimes we forget that we are human and sometimes we cross others' boundaries. The other side of mastering boundaries is learning how to humbly and gracefully receive a boundary when the tables are turned and we're the ones being asked to shift our behavior or approach.

It's very easy to perceive boundaries as criticism and go on the defensive, but receiving a boundary is an opportunity to understand someone better and deepen our relationships. When we show up with presence, pay attention to our triggers and respond with grace, we grow as a person and show up in a more intentional and loving way with the people around us.

In this episode, we're looking at the other side of boundaries, and I'm walking you through simple steps for how to receive a boundary well and what not to do when approached with a boundary (plus, how to recover the conversation if you do find yourself getting defensive...it happens to all of us!).

Listen to discover:

• Practical steps for receiving a boundary with grace
• Tips for recentering when triggered
• How to respond kindly and respectfully
• What not to do when someone sets a boundary with you
• How to spot (and get out of) an Adolescent reaction

If someone comes to you with a boundary, try to think of it as them sharing with you instead of drawing a line in the sand or putting up a wall. Sharing comes from a place of vulnerability and wanting connection, and it's an honor when someone feels safe enough to share with us...even if it feels a little hard to hear sometimes.

It takes practice to receive a boundary with grace, but when you own your stuff, you will find you have healthier relationships all around.

"Give them that space to share whatever it is they need to share." - Michelle Chalfant

"Get in your Adult and remind yourself, 'It's not about me.'" - Michelle Chalfant

"You want to make sure the person that's sharing their boundary with you feels seen and heard." - Michelle Chalfant

Resources

The Adult Chair® Membership (May Theme: "I Own.")

https://theadultchair.com/membership/

TAC Circles®

https://theadultchair.com/taccircles/

P&G Hair Food

https://hairfood.com/

Or find at Bed Bath & Beyond, Amazon, Target or Walmart

More Adult Chair

The Adult Chair® Website

https://theadultchair.com

The Adult Chair® Membership

https://theadultchair.com/membership/

The Adult Chair® Workshop

https://theadultchair.com/events/

The Adult Chair® Coaching Certification

https://theadultchair.com/certification-program/

TAC Circles®

https://theadultchair.com/taccircles/

Stay Connected

Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/michelle.chalfant

Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/MichelleChalfantFanPage/

The Adult Chair® Facebook Group: https://www.facebook.com/groups/theadultchair/

YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/c/Michellechalfant

***

EPISODE CREDITS:

If you like this podcast and are thinking of creating your own, consider talking to my producer, Danny Ozment.

He helps thought leaders, influencers, executives, HR professionals, recruiters, lawyers, realtors, bloggers, coaches, and authors create, launch, and produce podcasts that grow their business and impact the world.

Find out more at https://emeraldcitypro.com

Do you find yourself feeling unfulfilled and empty, despite seemingly having everything you need to be happy? Do you crave closer relationships but feel like you can't connect at the deep level you want?

These feelings can often be subtle signs of childhood emotional neglect, which is when our parents or caregivers didn't tend to or validate our emotions as children. This sets us up for an adult life where we don't know how to feel our own emotions — which is essential to experiencing joy, passion and connection!

In this show, I'm chatting with Dr. Jonice Webb, a psychologist and author and a highly requested guest in The Adult Chair® community, about how to spot childhood emotional neglect and how to begin the process of accessing your emotions as an adult. This show is filled with incredible insights into an issue that unknowingly affects so many of us and how to heal from it.

Listen to discover:

• What childhood emotional neglect is
• Why invalidating our feelings leads to shame
• How childhood emotional neglect affects adult relationships
• What emotional intimacy is
• Rebuilding from childhood emotional neglect
• Steps to start your healing journey

Childhood emotional neglect isn't necessarily abuse; in fact, it can happen in very loving, well meaning homes. But anything that disconnects us from our emotions — our inner navigation system and a key to living in The Adult Chair — is going to keep us from living the happy, fulfilled life we all dream of. I hope this episode encourages you to look inward and connect with the deepest parts of who you are. That is how you will experience the fullness of life and connection with others!

"We need our feelings to survive and thrive in our adult life." - Dr. Jonice Webb

"Eventually the child brain just erects a wall so that you don't have to feel anything, and that wall stays there until you take it down." - Dr. Jonice Webb

"Men have the equal capacity or ability to feel all emotions because they're human." - Michelle Chalfant

"What you have inside is a constellation of how your parents treated your feelings." - Dr. Jonice Webb

"Emotions are the expression of your deepest self." - Dr. Jonice Webb

"Emotions are our built-in navigation system, and they guide us." - Michelle Chalfant

Resources

Dr. Jonice Webb Website

https://emotionalneglect.com

"Running on Empty" (Dr. Jonice Webb book)

https://drjonicewebb.com/the-book/

Adult Chair® Coaches

https://theadultchair.com/coaches/

The Adult Chair® Coaching Certification

https://theadultchair.com/certification-program/

Inner Child Resource

https://theadultchair.com/innerchild

P&G Hair Food

https://hairfood.com/

Or find at Bed Bath & Beyond, Amazon, Target or Walmart

More Adult Chair

The Adult Chair® Website

https://theadultchair.com

The Adult Chair® Membership

https://theadultchair.com/membership/

The Adult Chair® Workshop

https://theadultchair.com/events/

The Adult Chair® Coaching Certification

https://theadultchair.com/certification-program/

TAC Circles®

https://theadultchair.com/taccircles/

Stay Connected

Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/michelle.chalfant

Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/MichelleChalfantFanPage/

The Adult Chair® Facebook Group: https://www.facebook.com/groups/theadultchair/

YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/c/Michellechalfant

***

EPISODE CREDITS:

If you like this podcast and are thinking of creating your own, consider talking to my producer, Danny Ozment.

He helps thought leaders, influencers, executives, HR professionals, recruiters, lawyers, realtors, bloggers, coaches, and authors create, launch, and produce podcasts that grow their business and impact the world.

Find out more at https://emeraldcitypro.com

I know you guys love all things Enneagram (and I do too!), so I'm thrilled to bring back our resident Enneagram expert and dear friend of mine, Ramona Reid. Ramona, who is also an Adult Chair® Certified Coach, has always done a beautiful job weaving together The Adult Chair® with the Enneagram, helping us understand how our inner child and childhood wounding shapes our personality type and how our Adolescent fear manifests depending on our Enneagram type.

But the point of the Enneagram is not to put you in a box of personality...it's to help you see the ways you're already stuck so you can transform and become a more whole, authentic self! Each type also has the healthiest, highest version of their type (aka The Adult Chair) where the beautiful gifts and virtues of each type bring healing to the world...for example, Type 1's integrity, Type 2's love, Type 8's power and Type 9's peace.

So, in this episode, we're focusing on what healthy looks like for each Enneagram type, so you can better understand what life looks like for you when you are in your Adult Chair!

Listen to discover:

• A breakdown of all nine types and their highest versions
• What The Adult Chair looks like for each Enneagram type
• How to tell when you're becoming healthier
• Why we all access healing differently

I hope this episode gives you a guide to see when you're living in your Adult Chair and reminds you of the beautiful gifts you uniquely bring to the world!

"When we're in our Adolescent...our way of being is coming from the illusion that there's something missing....When we start to realize that we are in fact the source of this thing that we think is missing...that's when we start being in our Adult Chair." - Ramona Reid

"The only way we can really get there is to identify the feeling behind the doing." - Ramona Reid

"I don't think time heals. I think really getting in there and being curious and working with our emotions is what heals wounds." - Ramona Reid

"This is what The Adult Chair is all about. That's why we've got all the aspects of what a healthy Adult looks like, so we can reach and point our energy towards that." - Michelle Chalfant

"You're not going to lose those parts of yourself. You're going to lose the part of yourself that acts out by not wanting to be scared." - Ramona Reid

"The next thought is the conscious thought from the Adult perspective." - Michelle Chalfant

Resources

Ramona Reid Website

http://www.mynashvillecenter.com/

Episode #51: Find Your Authentic Self at the Heart of the Enneagram with Ramona Reid

https://theadultchair.com/podcasts/51/

Episode #114: Deepening The Adult Chair® Using The Wisdom of the Enneagram with Ramona Reid

https://theadultchair.com/podcasts/114-deepening-the-adult-chair-using-the-wisdom-of-the-enneagram-with-ramona-reid/

Episode #176: Childhood Wounding in the Enneagram with Ramona Reid

https://theadultchair.com/podcasts/176/

Episode #205: Stress and Your Enneagram Type with Ramona Reid

https://theadultchair.com/podcasts/205/

Adult Chair® Coaches

https://theadultchair.com/coaches/

TAC Circles®

https://theadultchair.com/taccircles/

P&G Hair Food

https://hairfood.com/

Or find at Bed Bath & Beyond, Amazon, Target or Walmart

More Adult Chair

The Adult Chair® Website

https://theadultchair.com

The Adult Chair® Membership

https://theadultchair.com/membership/

The Adult Chair® Workshop

https://theadultchair.com/events/

The Adult Chair® Coaching Certification

https://theadultchair.com/certification-program/

TAC Circles®

https://theadultchair.com/taccircles/

Stay Connected

Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/michelle.chalfant

Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/MichelleChalfantFanPage/

The Adult Chair® Facebook Group: https://www.facebook.com/groups/theadultchair/

YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/c/Michellechalfant

***

EPISODE CREDITS:

If you like this podcast and are thinking of creating your own, consider talking to my producer, Danny Ozment.

He helps thought leaders, influencers, executives, HR professionals, recruiters, lawyers, realtors, bloggers, coaches, and authors create, launch, and produce podcasts that grow their business and impact the world.

Find out more at https://emeraldcitypro.com