If you keep attracting emotionally unavailable men, you’ve probably been told that it must mean you are emotionally unavailable too.

But what if that explanation doesn’t tell the full story?

In this video, I break down the psychology behind why emotionally available women can still find themselves drawn to emotionally unavailable partners—and why this pattern often has less to do with a lack of vulnerability and more to do with learned beliefs about love, safety, and worthiness.

I share my personal experience of chasing emotionally unavailable men, then struggling in a healthy relationship—not because I didn’t want love, but because I had never been taught how to ask for what I needed or trust emotional safety.

We talk about:

• Why emotionally unavailable men pull more emotion out of you

• The belief that love has to be earned (and where it comes from)

• Why healthy love can feel scarier than emotional unavailability

• How childhood and relationship trauma shape attachment patterns

• Why “knowing better” doesn’t always mean you know how to do better

• How to begin breaking this cycle and learning to receive love safely

If you’ve ever felt like you could beg the wrong person to love you but struggled to speak up in a healthy relationship, this video is for you.

You are not broken.

You are not incapable of love.

You may just be unlearning what love was never supposed to cost you.

✨ If this resonates, don’t forget to like, subscribe, and share your thoughts in the comments.

✨ Let’s connect:

💜1:1 coaching &

BONUS podcast episodes

https://www.patreon.com/Ivebeenthatgirl

💜books, coaching and more:

https://linktr.ee/ivebeenthatgirl.net

Authors page: https://www.amazon.com/author/kindalld

💜MY SOCIALS:

YouTube: https://youtube.com/@ivebeenthatgirl?si=ztPs0PVePJP-q6Vr

I’ve Been That Girl, too Instagram: (151K followers)

https://www.instagram.com/ivebeenthatgirltoo/

TikTok: (42.7K Followers) https://www.tiktok.com/@ivebeenthatgirl?_t=8s8vdJSMVZv&_r=1

Threads: (35K followers) https://www.threads.net/@ivebeenthatgirltoo?igshid=NTc4MTIwNjQ2YQ==

Business Inquiries:

https://linktr.ee/ivebeenthatgirl.net

(Click the envelope icon at the top of the site)

“Lovergirl, I know you want love real bad… but please don’t settle for half-love.”

This video is for the women who love deeply, who feel everything, and who keep trying to make it work with men who can’t meet them. If you’re a lovergirl who gives your whole heart, this message is going to hit home.

I talk about why longing can trick you into staying, how self-abandonment sneaks in disguised as “patience,” why emotionally unavailable men can’t love you in the ways you need, and how to finally stop settling for half-effort, half-connection, and half-love.

You deserve someone who meets you fully.

With clarity.

With consistency.

With devotion.

Your heart is too intentional for bare-minimum love — and in this video, I walk you through the mindset shift that finally sets you free.

If you’re healing, growing, or learning your worth again… this one is for you.

✨ Let’s connect:

💜1:1 coaching &

BONUS podcast episodes

https://www.patreon.com/Ivebeenthatgirl

💜books, coaching and more:

https://linktr.ee/ivebeenthatgirl.net

Authors page: https://www.amazon.com/author/kindalld

💜MY SOCIALS:

YouTube: https://youtube.com/@ivebeenthatgirl?si=ztPs0PVePJP-q6Vr

I’ve Been That Girl, too Instagram: (151K followers)

https://www.instagram.com/ivebeenthatgirltoo/

TikTok: (42.7K Followers) https://www.tiktok.com/@ivebeenthatgirl?_t=8s8vdJSMVZv&_r=1

Threads: (35K followers) https://www.threads.net/@ivebeenthatgirltoo?igshid=NTc4MTIwNjQ2YQ==

Business Inquiries:

https://linktr.ee/ivebeenthatgirl.net

(Click the envelope icon at the top of the site)

If you keep losing yourself the moment you like someone… this video will change your dating life.

Today we’re talking about how to decenter men while dating and in a relationship — so you can stop worrying about whether he likes you and start focusing on whether he’s aligned with you.

In this video, we cover:

✨ What it really means to “center a man”

✨ Why women lose themselves when they catch feelings

✨ How conditioning, trauma, and scarcity mindsets impact dating

✨ How to stay grounded, confident, and self-led

✨ How to maintain your routines, boundaries, and identity

✨ How to date without anxiety, overthinking, or performing

✨ How to keep decentering men inside a relationship

✨ The mindset shifts that help you stop chasing male validation

✨ What healthy attraction feels like vs. anxious attachment

✨ How to evaluate men instead of auditioning for them

This isn’t about being cold or detached — it’s about being whole.

Decentering men is not anti-men. It’s pro-you.

If you want to build a meaningful life and healthy relationships, this video is your guide.

—————

✨ Let’s connect:

💜1:1 coaching &

BONUS podcast episodes

https://www.patreon.com/Ivebeenthatgirl

💜books, coaching and more:

https://linktr.ee/ivebeenthatgirl.net

Authors page: https://www.amazon.com/author/kindalld

💜MY SOCIALS:

YouTube: https://youtube.com/@ivebeenthatgirl?si=ztPs0PVePJP-q6Vr

I’ve Been That Girl, too Instagram: (151K followers)

https://www.instagram.com/ivebeenthatgirltoo/

TikTok: (42.7K Followers) https://www.tiktok.com/@ivebeenthatgirl?_t=8s8vdJSMVZv&_r=1

Threads: (35K followers) https://www.threads.net/@ivebeenthatgirltoo?igshid=NTc4MTIwNjQ2YQ==

Business Inquiries:

https://linktr.ee/ivebeenthatgirl.net

(Click the envelope icon at the top of the site)

You’ve probably heard the phrase “decenter men” — but what does that really mean?

In this video, I break down what decentering men actually looks like in real life — and why it’s not about hating men or avoiding relationships. It’s about re-centering yourself.

We’ll talk about:

✨ The real definition of “decentering men” and who coined the phrase (Charlie Taylor)

✨ Why it’s a lifestyle, not a temporary phase

✨ The challenges women face when learning to live this way — and how to work through them

✨ The common misconceptions (like “you can’t want love and decenter men”)

✨ Why women were conditioned to center men in the first place

✨ And how to date while decentering men

This isn’t about becoming “anti-men.”

It’s about becoming pro-you.

You can want love and still decenter men.

You can be soft and still have boundaries.

You can date and still live from your center.

Because once you make peace your priority — everything changes.

———

📖Get the book: https://amzn.to/4phcByD

The journal: https://amzn.to/3VGXS2n

✨ Let’s connect:

💜1:1 coaching &

BONUS podcast episodes

https://www.patreon.com/Ivebeenthatgirl

💜books, coaching and more:

https://linktr.ee/ivebeenthatgirl.net

Authors page: https://www.amazon.com/author/kindalld

💜MY SOCIALS:

YouTube: https://youtube.com/@ivebeenthatgirl?si=ztPs0PVePJP-q6Vr

I’ve Been That Girl, too Instagram: (151K followers)

https://www.instagram.com/ivebeenthatgirltoo/

TikTok: (42.7K Followers) https://www.tiktok.com/@ivebeenthatgirl?_t=8s8vdJSMVZv&_r=1

Threads: (35K followers) https://www.threads.net/@ivebeenthatgirltoo?igshid=NTc4MTIwNjQ2YQ==

Business Inquiries:

https://linktr.ee/ivebeenthatgirl.net

(Click the envelope icon at the top of the site)

So let’s talk about the real reason you can’t let go.

It’s not because he’s your soulmate.

It’s not because the connection was “too strong to walk away from.”

You’re scared of detaching because detachment forces you to sit with the feeling of not being chosen.

And that feeling is uncomfortable.

It’s vulnerable.

It’s raw.

But that feeling isn’t proof that you’re unlovable.

It’s just proof that you care and that your heart still remembers how to hope.

On this episode, we’re going to walk through why detachment feels so painful, how to sit in the discomfort instead of running from it, and how to choose yourself again — even when your heart is still attached.

📖Get the book: https://amzn.to/4phcByD

The journal: https://amzn.to/3VGXS2n

✨ Let’s connect:

💜1:1 coaching &

BONUS podcast episodes

https://www.patreon.com/Ivebeenthatgirl

💜books, coaching and more:

https://linktr.ee/ivebeenthatgirl.net

Authors page: https://www.amazon.com/author/kindalld

💜MY SOCIALS:

YouTube: https://youtube.com/@ivebeenthatgirl?si=ztPs0PVePJP-q6Vr

I’ve Been That Girl, too Instagram: (151K followers)

https://www.instagram.com/ivebeenthatgirltoo/

TikTok: (42.7K Followers) https://www.tiktok.com/@ivebeenthatgirl?_t=8s8vdJSMVZv&_r=1

Threads: (35K followers) https://www.threads.net/@ivebeenthatgirltoo?igshid=NTc4MTIwNjQ2YQ==

Business Inquiries:

https://linktr.ee/ivebeenthatgirl.net

When a man only starts acting right once you’re done, that’s not love, that’s panic.

He’s not afraid of losing you, he’s afraid of losing access to you.

Because if he truly planned to love you properly, he would’ve been doing it all along.

This video is for the woman who’s finally realizing that his “change” isn’t growth, it’s fear.

Fear of losing control. Fear of losing the version of you that tolerated him.

You deserve a love that’s consistent, not conditional.

The kind that shows up before you threaten to walk away.

If you’ve ever had a man suddenly “change” once you were ready to leave, this video will help you understand why and remind you to trust your peace more than his promises.

Healing Sundays ONLY on my YouTube channel can be found here:

https://youtube.com/playlist?list=PLwGugZ7M2WXmeERAHpePYJzNimNl_3ZLH&si=0D3RBNDvIyA1rBbs

📖Get the book: https://amzn.to/4phcByD

The journal: https://amzn.to/3VGXS2n

✨ Let’s connect:

💜1:1 coaching &

BONUS podcast episodes 

https://www.patreon.com/Ivebeenthatgirl

💜books, coaching and more:

https://linktr.ee/ivebeenthatgirl.net

Authors page: https://www.amazon.com/author/kindalld

💜MY SOCIALS:

YouTube: https://youtube.com/@ivebeenthatgirl?si=ztPs0PVePJP-q6Vr

I’ve Been That Girl, too Instagram: (151K followers) 

https://www.instagram.com/ivebeenthatgirltoo/

TikTok: (42.7K Followers) https://www.tiktok.com/@ivebeenthatgirl?_t=8s8vdJSMVZv&_r=1

Threads: (35K followers) https://www.threads.net/@ivebeenthatgirltoo?igshid=NTc4MTIwNjQ2YQ==

Business Inquiries:

https://linktr.ee/ivebeenthatgirl.net

You can do all the healing work.

You can love yourself, set boundaries, and believe you’ve finally chosen right — and still end up betrayed.

This episode is for the women who did everything “right” but still got hurt.

The truth is, you can’t always vet betrayal. You can’t control how a man chooses to show up, no matter how much self-love or discernment you have.

💜1:1 coaching &

BONUS podcast episodes

https://www.patreon.com/Ivebeenthatgirl

💜Books, coaching and more:

https://linktr.ee/ivebeenthatgirl.net

Authors page: https://www.amazon.com/author/kindalld

💜MY SOCIALS:

YouTube: https://youtube.com/@ivebeenthatgirl?si=ztPs0PVePJP-q6Vr

I’ve Been That Girl, too Instagram: (151K followers)

https://www.instagram.com/ivebeenthatgirltoo/

TikTok: (42.7K Followers) https://www.tiktok.com/@ivebeenthatgirl?_t=8s8vdJSMVZv&_r=1

Threads: (35K followers) https://www.threads.net/@ivebeenthatgirltoo?igshid=NTc4MTIwNjQ2YQ==

Business Inquiries:

https://linktr.ee/ivebeenthatgirl.net

(Click the envelope icon at the top of the site)

If you’ve ever felt confused by men who say the right things but never show up with the same energy, this video will help you recognize real kindness, emotional maturity, and integrity — the kind that doesn’t fade once he gets what he wants.

I’ll share how to spot:

• The difference between genuine and performative kindness

• Signs he respects your boundaries

• How truly good men behave when they don’t get their way

• Why peace might feel “boring” if you’re used to chaos

• And what to do when you finally meet a good man

This one’s for the women who are tired of bare-minimum love and ready to experience peace, reciprocity, and the kind of connection that feels safe.

📖Get the book: https://amzn.to/4phcByD

✨ Let’s connect:

💜1:1 coaching &

BONUS podcast episodes

https://www.patreon.com/Ivebeenthatgirl

💜books, coaching and more:

https://linktr.ee/ivebeenthatgirl.net

Authors page: https://www.amazon.com/author/kindalld

💜MY SOCIALS:

YouTube: https://youtube.com/@ivebeenthatgirl?si=ztPs0PVePJP-q6Vr

I’ve Been That Girl, too Instagram: (151K followers)

https://www.instagram.com/ivebeenthatgirltoo/

TikTok: (42.7K Followers) https://www.tiktok.com/@ivebeenthatgirl?_t=8s8vdJSMVZv&_r=1

Threads: (35K followers) https://www.threads.net/@ivebeenthatgirltoo?igshid=NTc4MTIwNjQ2YQ==

Business Inquiries:

https://linktr.ee/ivebeenthatgirl.net

(Click the envelope icon at the top of the site)

Too many women get stuck in toxic dating cycles because we give men the kind of love we wish they would give us, instead of paying attention to the love they’re actually showing us.

In this video, I break down why women need to:

• Stop projecting their love onto men
• Start using discernment (judgment is not cruelty—it’s protection)
• Stop handing out endless ‘benefit of the doubt’
• And start treating men according to their character, not yours

If you’ve ever asked yourself, ‘Why do I keep attracting the same type of man?’ this video will shift everything about the way you date.

📚Book Link: https://amzn.to/425rj1W

💜1:1 coaching &

BONUS podcast episodes 

https://www.patreon.com/Ivebeenthatgirl

💜1:1 Coaching (non-subscription): https://app.squarespacescheduling.com/schedule/a9f6a971

💜books, coaching and more:

https://linktr.ee/ivebeenthatgirl.net

💜MY SOCIALS:

YouTube: https://youtube.com/@ivebeenthatgirl?si=ztPs0PVePJP-q6Vr

I’ve Been That Girl, too Instagram: (151K followers) 

https://www.instagram.com/ivebeenthatgirltoo/

TikTok: (42.7K Followers) https://www.tiktok.com/@ivebeenthatgirl?_t=8s8vdJSMVZv&_r=1

Threads: (35K followers) https://www.threads.net/@ivebeenthatgirltoo?igshid=NTc4MTIwNjQ2YQ==

So many women are trapped in relationships because of a wounded ego. When your ego is in survival mode, you beg to be chosen, over-give, and confuse a man’s validation with your worth. But true power comes when you retrain your ego—not to beg, but to protect.

In this video, I’m breaking down in concrete steps how a woman can reclaim her power, heal her wounded ego, and step into her divine femininity. You’ll learn how to stop proving yourself to men, stop personalizing rejection, and start using your ego as a bodyguard instead of a beggar.

It’s time to stop chasing and start choosing. It’s time to walk in your worth, reclaim your crown, and embody your feminine power.

If you’re ready to step into your highest self, this video will give you the mindset shift you need.

📖Get the book: https://amzn.to/4phcByD

📝The journal: https://amzn.to/3VGXS2n

✨ Let’s connect:

💜1:1 coaching &

BONUS podcast episodes

https://www.patreon.com/Ivebeenthatgirl

💜books, coaching and more:

https://linktr.ee/ivebeenthatgirl.net

Authors page: https://www.amazon.com/author/kindalld

💜MY SOCIALS:

YouTube: https://youtube.com/@ivebeenthatgirl?si=ztPs0PVePJP-q6Vr

I’ve Been That Girl, too Instagram: (151K followers)

https://www.instagram.com/ivebeenthatgirltoo/

TikTok: (42.7K Followers) https://www.tiktok.com/@ivebeenthatgirl?_t=8s8vdJSMVZv&_r=1

Threads: (35K followers) https://www.threads.net/@ivebeenthatgirltoo?igshid=NTc4MTIwNjQ2YQ==

Business Inquiries:

https://linktr.ee/ivebeenthatgirl.net

(Click the envelope icon at the top of the site)