You’ve probably heard the phrase “decenter men” — but what does that really mean?

In this video, I break down what decentering men actually looks like in real life — and why it’s not about hating men or avoiding relationships. It’s about re-centering yourself.

We’ll talk about:

✨ The real definition of “decentering men” and who coined the phrase (Charlie Taylor)

✨ Why it’s a lifestyle, not a temporary phase

✨ The challenges women face when learning to live this way — and how to work through them

✨ The common misconceptions (like “you can’t want love and decenter men”)

✨ Why women were conditioned to center men in the first place

✨ And how to date while decentering men

This isn’t about becoming “anti-men.”

It’s about becoming pro-you.

You can want love and still decenter men.

You can be soft and still have boundaries.

You can date and still live from your center.

Because once you make peace your priority — everything changes.

———

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The journal: https://amzn.to/3VGXS2n

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Authors page: https://www.amazon.com/author/kindalld

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YouTube: https://youtube.com/@ivebeenthatgirl?si=ztPs0PVePJP-q6Vr

I’ve Been That Girl, too Instagram: (151K followers)

https://www.instagram.com/ivebeenthatgirltoo/

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So let’s talk about the real reason you can’t let go.

It’s not because he’s your soulmate.

It’s not because the connection was “too strong to walk away from.”

You’re scared of detaching because detachment forces you to sit with the feeling of not being chosen.

And that feeling is uncomfortable.

It’s vulnerable.

It’s raw.

But that feeling isn’t proof that you’re unlovable.

It’s just proof that you care and that your heart still remembers how to hope.

On this episode, we’re going to walk through why detachment feels so painful, how to sit in the discomfort instead of running from it, and how to choose yourself again — even when your heart is still attached.

📖Get the book: https://amzn.to/4phcByD

The journal: https://amzn.to/3VGXS2n

✨ Let’s connect:

💜1:1 coaching &

BONUS podcast episodes

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💜books, coaching and more:

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Authors page: https://www.amazon.com/author/kindalld

💜MY SOCIALS:

YouTube: https://youtube.com/@ivebeenthatgirl?si=ztPs0PVePJP-q6Vr

I’ve Been That Girl, too Instagram: (151K followers)

https://www.instagram.com/ivebeenthatgirltoo/

TikTok: (42.7K Followers) https://www.tiktok.com/@ivebeenthatgirl?_t=8s8vdJSMVZv&_r=1

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When a man only starts acting right once you’re done, that’s not love, that’s panic.

He’s not afraid of losing you, he’s afraid of losing access to you.

Because if he truly planned to love you properly, he would’ve been doing it all along.

This video is for the woman who’s finally realizing that his “change” isn’t growth, it’s fear.

Fear of losing control. Fear of losing the version of you that tolerated him.

You deserve a love that’s consistent, not conditional.

The kind that shows up before you threaten to walk away.

If you’ve ever had a man suddenly “change” once you were ready to leave, this video will help you understand why and remind you to trust your peace more than his promises.

Healing Sundays ONLY on my YouTube channel can be found here:

https://youtube.com/playlist?list=PLwGugZ7M2WXmeERAHpePYJzNimNl_3ZLH&si=0D3RBNDvIyA1rBbs

📖Get the book: https://amzn.to/4phcByD

The journal: https://amzn.to/3VGXS2n

✨ Let’s connect:

💜1:1 coaching &

BONUS podcast episodes 

https://www.patreon.com/Ivebeenthatgirl

💜books, coaching and more:

https://linktr.ee/ivebeenthatgirl.net

Authors page: https://www.amazon.com/author/kindalld

💜MY SOCIALS:

YouTube: https://youtube.com/@ivebeenthatgirl?si=ztPs0PVePJP-q6Vr

I’ve Been That Girl, too Instagram: (151K followers) 

https://www.instagram.com/ivebeenthatgirltoo/

TikTok: (42.7K Followers) https://www.tiktok.com/@ivebeenthatgirl?_t=8s8vdJSMVZv&_r=1

Threads: (35K followers) https://www.threads.net/@ivebeenthatgirltoo?igshid=NTc4MTIwNjQ2YQ==

Business Inquiries:

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You can do all the healing work.

You can love yourself, set boundaries, and believe you’ve finally chosen right — and still end up betrayed.

This episode is for the women who did everything “right” but still got hurt.

The truth is, you can’t always vet betrayal. You can’t control how a man chooses to show up, no matter how much self-love or discernment you have.

💜1:1 coaching &

BONUS podcast episodes

https://www.patreon.com/Ivebeenthatgirl

💜Books, coaching and more:

https://linktr.ee/ivebeenthatgirl.net

Authors page: https://www.amazon.com/author/kindalld

💜MY SOCIALS:

YouTube: https://youtube.com/@ivebeenthatgirl?si=ztPs0PVePJP-q6Vr

I’ve Been That Girl, too Instagram: (151K followers)

https://www.instagram.com/ivebeenthatgirltoo/

TikTok: (42.7K Followers) https://www.tiktok.com/@ivebeenthatgirl?_t=8s8vdJSMVZv&_r=1

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If you’ve ever felt confused by men who say the right things but never show up with the same energy, this video will help you recognize real kindness, emotional maturity, and integrity — the kind that doesn’t fade once he gets what he wants.

I’ll share how to spot:

• The difference between genuine and performative kindness

• Signs he respects your boundaries

• How truly good men behave when they don’t get their way

• Why peace might feel “boring” if you’re used to chaos

• And what to do when you finally meet a good man

This one’s for the women who are tired of bare-minimum love and ready to experience peace, reciprocity, and the kind of connection that feels safe.

📖Get the book: https://amzn.to/4phcByD

✨ Let’s connect:

💜1:1 coaching &

BONUS podcast episodes

https://www.patreon.com/Ivebeenthatgirl

💜books, coaching and more:

https://linktr.ee/ivebeenthatgirl.net

Authors page: https://www.amazon.com/author/kindalld

💜MY SOCIALS:

YouTube: https://youtube.com/@ivebeenthatgirl?si=ztPs0PVePJP-q6Vr

I’ve Been That Girl, too Instagram: (151K followers)

https://www.instagram.com/ivebeenthatgirltoo/

TikTok: (42.7K Followers) https://www.tiktok.com/@ivebeenthatgirl?_t=8s8vdJSMVZv&_r=1

Threads: (35K followers) https://www.threads.net/@ivebeenthatgirltoo?igshid=NTc4MTIwNjQ2YQ==

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Too many women get stuck in toxic dating cycles because we give men the kind of love we wish they would give us, instead of paying attention to the love they’re actually showing us.

In this video, I break down why women need to:

• Stop projecting their love onto men
• Start using discernment (judgment is not cruelty—it’s protection)
• Stop handing out endless ‘benefit of the doubt’
• And start treating men according to their character, not yours

If you’ve ever asked yourself, ‘Why do I keep attracting the same type of man?’ this video will shift everything about the way you date.

📚Book Link: https://amzn.to/425rj1W

💜1:1 coaching &

BONUS podcast episodes 

https://www.patreon.com/Ivebeenthatgirl

💜1:1 Coaching (non-subscription): https://app.squarespacescheduling.com/schedule/a9f6a971

💜books, coaching and more:

https://linktr.ee/ivebeenthatgirl.net

💜MY SOCIALS:

YouTube: https://youtube.com/@ivebeenthatgirl?si=ztPs0PVePJP-q6Vr

I’ve Been That Girl, too Instagram: (151K followers) 

https://www.instagram.com/ivebeenthatgirltoo/

TikTok: (42.7K Followers) https://www.tiktok.com/@ivebeenthatgirl?_t=8s8vdJSMVZv&_r=1

Threads: (35K followers) https://www.threads.net/@ivebeenthatgirltoo?igshid=NTc4MTIwNjQ2YQ==

So many women are trapped in relationships because of a wounded ego. When your ego is in survival mode, you beg to be chosen, over-give, and confuse a man’s validation with your worth. But true power comes when you retrain your ego—not to beg, but to protect.

In this video, I’m breaking down in concrete steps how a woman can reclaim her power, heal her wounded ego, and step into her divine femininity. You’ll learn how to stop proving yourself to men, stop personalizing rejection, and start using your ego as a bodyguard instead of a beggar.

It’s time to stop chasing and start choosing. It’s time to walk in your worth, reclaim your crown, and embody your feminine power.

If you’re ready to step into your highest self, this video will give you the mindset shift you need.

📖Get the book: https://amzn.to/4phcByD

📝The journal: https://amzn.to/3VGXS2n

✨ Let’s connect:

💜1:1 coaching &

BONUS podcast episodes

https://www.patreon.com/Ivebeenthatgirl

💜books, coaching and more:

https://linktr.ee/ivebeenthatgirl.net

Authors page: https://www.amazon.com/author/kindalld

💜MY SOCIALS:

YouTube: https://youtube.com/@ivebeenthatgirl?si=ztPs0PVePJP-q6Vr

I’ve Been That Girl, too Instagram: (151K followers)

https://www.instagram.com/ivebeenthatgirltoo/

TikTok: (42.7K Followers) https://www.tiktok.com/@ivebeenthatgirl?_t=8s8vdJSMVZv&_r=1

Threads: (35K followers) https://www.threads.net/@ivebeenthatgirltoo?igshid=NTc4MTIwNjQ2YQ==

Business Inquiries:

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Walking away isn’t always about heartbreak—it’s about self-respect. In this video, I share the truth about what it means to leave a man who will never get it. Too often, our ego tricks us into thinking we need to prove ourselves to him, when really, our power comes from letting go.

This is about retraining your ego to work for you—to be your bodyguard, not your beggar. It’s about no longer chasing validation from a man who cannot see your worth, and standing firm in the truth of who you are.

If you’ve ever found yourself trying to “make him see,” this message is for you. You don’t have to beg for love—you are love. 💫

📖Get the book: https://amzn.to/4phcByD

The journal: https://amzn.to/3VGXS2n

✨ Let’s connect:

💜1:1 coaching &

BONUS podcast episodes 

https://www.patreon.com/Ivebeenthatgirl

💜books, coaching and more:

https://linktr.ee/ivebeenthatgirl.net

Authors page: https://www.amazon.com/author/kindalld

💜MY SOCIALS:

YouTube: https://youtube.com/@ivebeenthatgirl?si=ztPs0PVePJP-q6Vr

I’ve Been That Girl, too Instagram: (151K followers) 

https://www.instagram.com/ivebeenthatgirltoo/

TikTok: (42.7K Followers) https://www.tiktok.com/@ivebeenthatgirl?_t=8s8vdJSMVZv&_r=1

Threads: (35K followers) https://www.threads.net/@ivebeenthatgirltoo?igshid=NTc4MTIwNjQ2YQ==

Business Inquiries:

https://linktr.ee/ivebeenthatgirl.net

(Click the envelope icon at the top of the site)

ALIGNED DATING VS DATING GAMES

Tired of dating “rules” that feel like games? This episode flips the script. You’ll learn 10 healthy dating rules that help you align with emotionally mature men—plus the ALIGN Checklist, a tool you can use after every date to stay grounded and choose better.

So much modern dating advice teaches women to perform for validation instead of aligning with partners who actually fit. But good men don’t play games—and they won’t stick around for them either.

In this video, I’ll show you:

✅ Why scarcity of good, mature men is real (and how to filter better)

✅ 10 aligned dating rules that create clarity instead of confusion

✅ The ALIGN Checklist (Authenticity, Lifestyle, Integrity, Growth, Needs)

✅ Scripts and post-date questions to keep anxious attachment in check

Whether you’re dating again after heartbreak, navigating the apps, or simply tired of situationships, these rules will help you stop auditioning and start aligning.

✨ Let’s connect:

💜1:1 coaching &

BONUS podcast episodes 

https://www.patreon.com/Ivebeenthatgirl

💜books, coaching and more:

https://linktr.ee/ivebeenthatgirl.net

💜MY SOCIALS:

YouTube: https://youtube.com/@ivebeenthatgirl?si=ztPs0PVePJP-q6Vr

I’ve Been That Girl, too Instagram: (151K followers) 

https://www.instagram.com/ivebeenthatgirltoo/

TikTok: (42.7K Followers) https://www.tiktok.com/@ivebeenthatgirl?_t=8s8vdJSMVZv&_r=1

Threads: (35K followers) https://www.threads.net/@ivebeenthatgirltoo?igshid=NTc4MTIwNjQ2YQ==

Business Inquiries:

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There’s a difference between a man who consumes you and a man who commits to you. In this video, we break down wanted vs valued and consumption vs commitment—how to spot the signs, why we confuse intensity with intimacy, and what real commitment actually looks like. If you’ve felt like “something is missing,” this is your confirmation to trust your intuition and choose love that builds you, not love that drains you.

Healing Sundays ONLY on my YouTube channel can be found here:

https://youtube.com/playlist?list=PLwGugZ7M2WXmeERAHpePYJzNimNl_3ZLH&si=0D3RBNDvIyA1rBbs

✨ Let’s connect:

💜1:1 coaching &

BONUS podcast episodes

https://www.patreon.com/Ivebeenthatgirl

💜books, coaching and more:

https://linktr.ee/ivebeenthatgirl.net

💜MY SOCIALS:

YouTube: https://youtube.com/@ivebeenthatgirl?si=ztPs0PVePJP-q6Vr

I’ve Been That Girl, too Instagram: (151K followers)

https://www.instagram.com/ivebeenthatgirltoo/

TikTok: (42.7K Followers) https://www.tiktok.com/@ivebeenthatgirl?_t=8s8vdJSMVZv&_r=1

Threads: (35K followers) https://www.threads.net/@ivebeenthatgirltoo?igshid=NTc4MTIwNjQ2YQ==

Business Inquiries:

https://linktr.ee/ivebeenthatgirl.net

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