The Human Intimacy Podcast

Self-Work and Overcoming Resistance:

Embracing the Change Process

Key Points  

2. Overcoming Resistance  

3. Practical Exercise for Change  

4. Building Accountability and Support 

5. The Role of Courage and Insight  

6. The Power of Unlearning

7. Daily and Lifelong Application  

8. The Human Intimacy Conference  

In this powerful and deeply important episode of the Human Intimacy Podcast, Dr. Kevin Skinner and MaryAnn Michaelis discuss the far-reaching influence of pornography on individuals, relationships, and society. The episode reveals shocking statistics about the average age of first exposure—11 years old—and explores the lasting psychological, emotional, and relational consequences for both children and adults. The conversation dives into critical issues, including the normalization of violence in mainstream pornography, the grooming of children, and the internalized shame that fuels secrecy and addiction.  

The hosts also address societal challenges such as the inadequacy of filtering systems, the need for stronger legislative action like age-verification laws, and the responsibility of parents and communities to educate and protect children. Through compelling stories and clinical insights, they illustrate the profound impact of pornography on mental health, self-perception, and relationships.  

The episode concludes with an inspiring message of hope and recovery. Dr. Skinner and MaryAnn emphasize the transformative power of healing, self-awareness, and relational connection. They encourage listeners to take personal and collective action to safeguard future generations and support those seeking recovery and true intimacy.  

Resources Discussed:  

1. Statistics on Pornography Exposure:

2. Books and Research:  

3. Legislative and Advocacy Efforts:

4. Recommended Organizations and Tools:  

5. Strategies for Action:  

6. Healing and Recovery:  

Next Steps for Listeners: 

This episode challenges listeners to take action, protect children, and reclaim the ability to foster healthy, intimate relationships in a culture deeply affected by the harmful impacts of pornography.  

New Year, New Habits:

The Science of Change and Lasting Transformation

Drawing from personal experiences and psychological research, the hosts highlight the importance of preparation, intentionality, and community in achieving meaningful transformation. As they reflect on their own journeys and invite listeners to join the Change 2.0 program, they emphasize that change is always possible with the right tools and mindset.

Becoming a Peacemaker:

Finding Peace Within and Sharing It With the World

Listeners will gain insight into:  

- How to find peace within themselves first  

The episode reminds us that being a peacemaker begins with who we are inside—a state of congruence with our values, gratitude, and a willingness to lift others up.

Key Resources Discussed:  

1. Polyvagal Theory (Dr. Stephen Porges):  

2. 12-Step Programs:  

3. Dr. Martin Seligman’s Work on Gratitude and Happiness:  

4. Boundaries: 

5. Mr. Rogers’ Example of Peacemaking:  

6. Acts of Service and Words of Affirmation:  

Action Steps for Listeners:

- Reflection Exercise:

- Be Intentional:  

You Can Be Right or You Can Be Married:

Rebuilding Communication, Trust, and Love with Brett Williams

In this episode of The Human Intimacy Podcast, Dr. Kevin Skinner welcomes his long-time friend and fellow therapist, Brett Williams, author of You Can Be Right or You Can Be Married. With over 35 years of experience as a marriage and family therapist, Brett dives into the complexities of couple communication and conflict resolution.

He introduces the “Four C’s” of communication—Chit Chat, Communicating, Correcting, and Combating—and explains how couples can move away from destructive patterns of blame and escalation.  

Brett emphasizes the importance of creating a safe space for confession—vulnerably sharing emotions without defensiveness—and highlights that love is the free gift of attention. Together, Dr. Skinner and Brett offer actionable strategies for effective communication, understanding your partner’s needs, and building love-based solutions for deeper intimacy and connection.  

The episode concludes with an exciting announcement about the first annual Human Intimacy Conference (March 14th and 15th, 2025), where Brett will explore whether loving again after betrayal is possible and provide tools for trust and communication

You Can Be Right or You Can Be Married: Rebuilding Communication, Trust, and Love with Brett Williams

Resources Mentioned:  

1. Brett Williams’ Book:  

   - You Can Be Right or You Can Be Married: Love-Based Solutions for Couples.  

2. Concepts and Techniques:  

   - The Four C’s of Communication (Chit Chat, Communicating, Correcting, Combating).  

   - The Attention Reception Test (visual, auditory, kinesthetic preferences).  

   - Love-Based Solutions for rebuilding connection and trust.  

   - Physiological regulation during conflict (monitor heart rate and nervous system).  

3. Related Research and Experts:  

   - Dr. John Gottman: Impact of escalated heart rates on communication.  

   - Dr. Stephen Porges: Polyvagal Theory and regulating the nervous system.  

   - Gary Chapman: The Five Love Languages.  

4. Event Mentioned:  

   - First Annual Human Intimacy Conference (March 14-15, 2025).  

     - Featuring Brett Williams and 15 other clinicians specializing in overcoming betrayal trauma, addictive behaviors, and rebuilding relationships. More information to come!

The Affirming and Healing Balm of Acknowledgement  

In this episode of “The Human Intimacy Podcast”, Dr. Kevin Skinner welcomes Kosta Petrogeorge, a long-time colleague and friend, to explore the powerful concept of acknowledgement in relationships. The conversation dives into how deeply seeing and acknowledging loved ones—through intentional words, actions, and moments—can heal emotional wounds, strengthen intimacy, and foster deeper connections.  

Kosta shares poignant examples, including a scene from the film Dances with Wolves, where heartfelt acknowledgment powerfully affirms relationships. They discuss how couples navigating betrayal can intentionally reclaim spaces and relationships tarnished by infidelity or trauma, offering creative and therapeutic strategies. This includes a touching exercise to replace avoidance with an intentional ritual that fosters healing and repair.  

Through real-life stories, Kosta and Dr. Skinner demonstrate that true acknowledgment transcends mere words—it is an intentional act of claiming and honoring those we love. They also explore the impact of missed acknowledgment, sharing insights on how unresolved moments from the past can be addressed and healed.  

The episode concludes with everyday applications for acknowledgment, such as introducing loved ones with intention, greeting a spouse warmly, and practicing "wind in his hair" moments to affirm the value of those closest to us. Dr. Skinner leaves listeners with an inspiring reminder: We all have the choice to deepen our relationships through genuine acknowledgment.  

Exploring the Silent Struggle: Betrayed Men and Their Healing Journey with Dr. Jesse Piles

Topics include differences in how men and women process betrayal, societal perceptions of male infidelity recovery, and the significant role of sexual disgust in men's healing journeys.

Dr. Piles emphasizes the need for open-minded listening and tailored support for betrayed men, challenging the narrative that men "just get over it." With insights from decades of scientific research, he highlights the unique barriers men face in seeking help and recovering from betrayal. This episode is a call to action to broaden the conversation around betrayal and develop resources that address men's specific experiences.

Key Takeaways

1. Unique Male Experiences of Betrayal 

2. Barriers to Seeking Help  

3. Differences in Infidelity Patterns  

4. Support Needs for Betrayed Men  

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Resources Discussed

1. Dr. Jesse Piles’ Research  

2. Key Articles  

3. Support for Betrayed Men  

Final Message  

Dr. Jesse Piles encourages betrayed men to seek support and emphasizes that no two experiences are the same. Through open dialogue and research-backed insights, he aims to give betrayed men the voice and resources they need for healing. 

For more information and support, visit [researchforbetrayedmen.com](http://researchforbetrayedmen.com).  

Understanding Anxiety:

Tools for Managing Stress and Building Connection

In this episode of the Human Intimacy Podcast, Dr. Kevin Skinner and MaryAnn Michaelis dive into one of the most prevalent mental health challenges of our time—anxiety. As the holidays approach, many feel the weight of heightened emotions, family interactions, and personal stress. Dr. Skinner and MaryAnn discuss the biology of anxiety, its relational impacts, and practical tools to manage it effectively. From understanding the role of the vagus nerve to employing techniques like breathing exercises, bilateral stimulation, and mental rehearsal, this episode equips listeners with actionable strategies to navigate anxiety and strengthen their connections during the holiday season and beyond.

Resources Mentioned in the Episode:  

1. Books and Theories  

2. Techniques and Exercises  

3. Digital Tools and Protocols  

4. Additional Support  

5. Practical Tips for the Holidays:  

This episode provides a compassionate and practical guide to understanding anxiety, offering tools to help listeners find safety within themselves and in their relationships.

Making Love and Other Non-Sexual Activities:

Creating Connection in Every Relationship

In episode 41 of the Human Intimacy Podcast, Dr. Kevin Skinner and MaryAnn Michaelis redefine the concept of "making love," shifting it from a purely sexual context to an intentional act of creating connection and care in all relationships. Through personal stories, client experiences, and research insights, they explore how love is a choice and an action, emphasizing the importance of authenticity, psychological safety, and intentionality.  

The discussion delves into the challenges of showing love after betrayal or during conflict and highlights practical tools for fostering connection, such as attuned communication, externalizing problems, and practicing presence. They also discuss the barriers that prevent love, including fear, resentment, and lack of safety, while encouraging listeners to reflect on their ability to make love by creating a nurturing environment.  

Key takeaways include the importance of tone and body language in communication, the role of self-awareness in showing up authentically, and the need for self-care and external support during difficult times. The episode concludes with an inspiring invitation to “go make love” in all its forms, from small acts of kindness to moments of deep connection.

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Resources Discussed:

1. Barbara Fredrickson’s Book, Love 2.0  

   - Explores the concept of love as a momentary connection rather than a fixed state, emphasizing micro-moments of positivity and connection.

2. Dan Siegel’s Work on Feeling “Felt” 

   - Focuses on how attuned communication helps individuals feel deeply understood and validated in relationships.

3. Still Face Experiment by Dr. Edward Tronick  

   - A study highlighting the impact of nonverbal communication and emotional attunement on connection and attachment.

4. The Intimacy Pyramid (Dr. Skinner’s Version)  

   - A framework for understanding different levels of intimacy, starting with psychological safety and moving through emotional, verbal, intellectual, and sexual connection.

5. Brett Williams Book, You Can Be Right or You Can Be Married 

   - Encourages couples to focus on collaboration rather than defensiveness, offering practical advice for fostering connection.

6. Radical Acceptance by Tara Brach  

   - Encourages individuals to reflect on how their demeanor and actions impact relationships, posing the question, “Do you make it easy for people to love you?”

7. Eye Contact Meditation  

   - A couples exercise focusing on deep, intentional eye contact to foster intimacy and connection.

8. Support from Trusted Relationships  

   - The importance of turning to trusted friends, family, or therapists to process emotions and find words before engaging in difficult conversations with a partner.

By integrating these insights and tools into your daily life, you listeners can learn to make love a choice and a practice, fostering stronger, more authentic relationships.

Preparing for the Holidays:

Connection, Self-Care, and Healthy Boundaries

In episode 40 of the Human Intimacy Podcast, Dr. Kevin Skinner and MaryAnn Michaelis explore how to prepare mentally and emotionally for the holiday season. They discuss the importance of connecting with loved ones, setting healthy boundaries, and taking steps to manage common holiday stressors. The hosts offer practical strategies for navigating challenging family dynamics, such as visualizing interactions and setting personal boundaries. They also emphasize the importance of nutrition and routine in maintaining mental and physical health during the holidays, sharing insights on how unhealthy eating habits can exacerbate stress and anxiety.

Reflecting on the significance of those who have positively impacted our lives, Dr. Skinner and MaryAnn underscore the value of honoring loved ones, creating meaningful holiday rituals, and cherishing connections. They encourage listeners to embrace the holidays as a time for intentional connection, compassion, and even reconciliation, emphasizing that forgiveness and small acts of kindness can bring warmth and joy to both giver and receiver.