The Human Intimacy Podcast

🎙️Learning to Regulate Difficult Emotions:

A Key to Thriving Relationships

Dr. Skinner and MaryAnn reflect on the lasting impact of the Human Intimacy Conference and shift into a grounded, thoughtful discussion about what causes emotional dysregulation, how our childhood experiences shape our emotional responses, and how to build the capacity to sit with and soothe difficult emotions. They emphasize the importance of self-attunement—the ability to recognize and regulate your own emotional state—and co-regulation, the process of calming and connecting with another human being.

MaryAnn shares insight from her background in music to explain how attunement works in relationships, and Dr. Skinner brings in science-based practices, including coherent breathing, attachment theory, and trauma-informed care. Together, they offer clear, compassionate steps for how to become more emotionally resilient, attuned, and connected.

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📚 Key Concepts & Resources Discussed:

1. Affect Regulation Theory  

2. Childhood Conditioning and Emotional Roles  

3. Self-Awareness & Attunement  

4. Co-Regulation in Relationships  

5. HeartMath & Coherent Breathing  

6. Physical Health & Emotional Resilience 

7. Dr. Bessel van der Kolk – The Body Keeps the Score  

8. ADHD & Adaptation  

9. Mindfulness & the Brain  

10. Emotional Tolerance & Resiliency  

11. Reframing Survival Skills  

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💡 Takeaway Message:  

Overcoming Resentment:

A Barrier to Connection and Healing  

In this episode of the Human Intimacy Podcast, hosts Dr. Kevin Skinner and MaryAnn Michaelis dive into the profound impact of resentment in relationships, particularly in the context of betrayal, trust, and healing. They explore how resentment stems from unmet expectations, unresolved hurts, and past wounds, and how it influences behavior and intimacy. Dr. Skinner and MaryAnn discuss the importance of self-reflection, emotional regulation, and honest communication in addressing resentment constructively. They also emphasize the role of attachment wounds in triggering resentment and how awareness of these wounds can help individuals process their emotions more effectively.  

The episode concludes with practical steps for recognizing and working through resentment, including self-reflection exercises, journaling, body awareness techniques, and healthy communication strategies. The hosts also announce a special discount for accessing the Human Intimacy Conference recordings, providing an opportunity to learn from top experts in the field.  

Key Resources Discussed:  

This episode provides valuable insights and actionable tools to help listeners acknowledge, process, and communicate their resentment in a way that fosters growth and deeper intimacy.

Parenting Through Betrayal:

Helping Children When You’re in Chaos  

In this episode of the Human Intimacy Podcast, Dr. Kevin Skinner and MaryAnn Michaelis discuss one of the most challenging aspects of betrayal—parenting while navigating your own trauma. When betrayal shakes a relationship, children often experience the ripple effects, sometimes without fully understanding what’s happening. The conversation explores the deep shame that both betrayed and betraying parents often feel, the impact of unspoken emotional tension on children, and the long-term effects of parental betrayal on a child’s development.  

Dr. Skinner shares personal experiences and insights on how betrayal influences family systems, emphasizing the importance of open, age-appropriate communication with children. MaryAnn highlights key strategies for disclosing difficult truths while prioritizing a child’s emotional well-being. The episode also offers guidance on avoiding parentification, navigating parental shame, and maintaining connection despite emotional overwhelm.  

The conversation underscores the importance of not only individual healing but also addressing the broader family system to foster resilience and long-term healing.  

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Recommended Resources  

Books & Articles:

2. The Power of Attachment – Diane Poole Heller, PhD  

3. The Body Keeps the Score – Bessel van der Kolk, MD  

4. Treating Trauma from Sexual Betrayal – Dr. Kevin Skinner  

Practical Tools for Parents:  

EMDR Therapy –  

Family Dialogue Guidelines:

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Special Offer  

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This episode is a must-listen for parents navigating betrayal trauma, offering compassionate guidance on maintaining connection with children while processing personal pain.

Finding the Right Support:

How to Get Help After Betrayal and Addiction 

Dr. Skinner shares research on the effectiveness of various support systems, emphasizing that meaningful support significantly improves recovery outcomes. MaryAnn adds insights on the power of connection in healing and why structured support, such as therapy and specialized groups, can be more effective than informal conversations with friends and family. They also discuss the growing role of coaching and the key differences between coaching and therapy, cautioning listeners to seek professional support for trauma-related issues.  

Additionally, they introduce the upcoming Human Intimacy Conference, featuring over 20 experts with a collective 400 years of experience in helping individuals and couples heal from betrayal and relationship challenges. The episode concludes with an invitation to explore available resources, including Dr. Skinner’s online support groups, courses, and the Human Intimacy Conference.  

Resources Mentioned:  

1. Support Groups & Recovery Programs:  

2. Professional Help:  

3. Educational Resources & Online Support:  

4. The Human Intimacy Conference (March 2025):  

Last chance to get a discount, use this coupon code: Podcast50 

This episode is a must-listen for anyone navigating the complexities of healing from betrayal or addiction. It provides valuable guidance on choosing the right support system and highlights the importance of surrounding oneself with trusted, informed voices.

Navigating Attachment, Fear, and Connection

in a Divided World  

The conversation delves into how fear affects our attachment systems, particularly in personal relationships and at a societal level. They explore how political and cultural divides create a sense of disconnection and anxiety, mirroring the dynamics seen in betrayal trauma. Michelle and Dr. Skinner discuss the importance of slowing down, recognizing fear-based responses, and fostering connection instead of falling into fight-or-flight behaviors.  

The discussion also highlights how betrayed partners often experience disorganized attachment, where their primary source of safety becomes a source of danger. Michelle explains how healing involves moving from disorganization back to secure attachment, both with oneself and with others. The episode concludes with practical strategies for overcoming fear-driven disconnection and promoting deeper, more meaningful relationships.  

Michelle also previews her upcoming talk at the Human Intimacy Conference*, where she will dive deeper into how attachment influences betrayal recovery and relationship repair.  

Resources Discussed in This Episode:  

1. Books & Authors:  

2. Key Psychological Concepts:  

3. Practical Strategies for Listeners:  

4. Upcoming Event:  

This episode challenges listeners to examine their own attachment patterns, reflect on their fear responses, and foster deeper connections in a world that often promotes disconnection.

Gaslighting, Lies, and Healing:

The Path to Rebuilding Trust After Betrayal

In this powerful episode of the Human Intimacy Podcast, Dr. Kevin Skinner is joined by Dr. Sheri Denham Keffer, a nationally recognized expert on betrayal trauma and author of “Intimate Deception: Healing the Wounds of Sexual Betrayal.” Together, they dive deep into the topic of gaslighting—what it is, how it impacts betrayed partners, and why it is often more devastating than the betrayal itself. They discuss the psychological and emotional toll of deception, blame-shifting, and minimization, and how these behaviors contribute to trauma.  

Dr. Keffer shares personal experiences, research insights, and clinical expertise, highlighting how gaslighting leads to deeper levels of trauma and self-doubt. They explore the critical role of truth-telling in healing, the necessity of accountability, and how betrayed partners can begin to trust themselves again.  

The episode also touches on the role of therapy, common mistakes made in the healing process, and the dangers of “social gaslighting”, where the betrayer manipulates others into doubting the betrayed partner’s experience. Finally, Dr. Keffer shares details about her “Brave One Community”, an online support network for betrayed partners, and announces her upcoming presentation at the Human Intimacy Conference in March 2025.  

Resources Discussed:  

1. Dr. Sheri Keffer’s Book – Intimate Deception: Healing the Wounds of Sexual Betrayal  

2. Dr. Kevin Skinner’s Book – Rebuild Your Relationship After Sexual Betrayal

3. The Gaslighting Scale  

4. The Brave One Community 

5. ERCEM Model (Early Recovery Couples Empathy Model)

6. Therapeutic Full Disclosure & Polygraph Process  

7. The Human Intimacy Conference (March 14-15, 2025)  

This episode is a must-listen for anyone recovering from betrayal or seeking to understand the deep psychological effects of gaslighting.

The Power of Attachment in Healing Relationships

with Geoff Steurer

In this episode of the Human Intimacy Podcast, Dr. Kevin Skinner welcomes his longtime friend and colleague, Geoff Steurer, a licensed marriage and family therapist and expert in relational healing. Together, they dive into the crucial role of attachment in relationships, especially in the aftermath of betrayal and addiction.  

The conversation explores how attachment bonds shape our experiences of intimacy, trust, and security. Geoff and Kevin discuss common attachment styles—secure, anxious, avoidant, and disorganized—and how they influence relationship dynamics. They address the unique challenges couples face when navigating the tension between wanting to stay together and the pain of betrayal.  

Listeners will gain insights into:  

- Why attachment is not a choice but a fundamental human experience.  

As a preview of the upcoming Human Intimacy Conference on March 14-15, 2025, Geoff shares how his session will provide a deeper dive into attachment wounds and betrayal trauma.  

If you’ve ever struggled with trust, emotional safety, or relationship recovery, this episode provides practical tools and compassionate guidance for navigating relational challenges with greater awareness and intention.  

Resources Mentioned: 

– Featuring leading experts, including Geoff Steurer, Dr. Sheri Keffer, Michelle Mays, and Dr. Kevin Skinner.  

2. Books & Research:  

3. Therapeutic Approaches Discussed:

4. Geoff Steurer’s Work & Resources:  

Join us in this enlightening conversation to better understand attachment and how it shapes the way we love, connect, and heal in relationships.

Breaking Free:

How to Get Unstuck from Trauma and Reclaim Your Life

This episode delves into the neuroscience behind trauma, explaining implicit vs. explicit memories, generational trauma, and learned helplessness. Dr. Skinner and MaryAnn explore why people remain stuck and share proven strategies for processing and releasing trauma through evidence-based therapies. They emphasize the importance of body-based approaches, neuroplasticity, and the hope that real healing is possible.  

Listeners will also hear about the Human Intimacy Conference (March 14-15, 2025), featuring leading experts in the field. As a special thank-you, podcast listeners can receive 50% off registration (expires Feb 8) and a free 100-day healing course upon signing up.  Coupon Code: 50off

Resources Mentioned in This Episode:  

Therapeutic Modalities for Trauma Healing:  

1. EMDR (Eye Movement Desensitization and Reprocessing) – Uses bilateral stimulation to help the brain process and integrate traumatic memories.  

Books and Experts Referenced:  

Human Intimacy Conference (March 14-15, 2025):  

Final Message:  

If you feel stuck in trauma or emotional patterns that seem impossible to break, know that healing is possible. The brain can change, and you are not alone in this journey. Seek support, explore body-based healing modalities, and, most importantly, give yourself compassion.  

📍 Register for the Human Intimacy Conference: Click Here!  

Reclaiming Self-Worth:

A Journey Back to Who You Truly Are

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In this episode of The Human Intimacy Podcast, Dr. Kevin Skinner and MaryAnn Michaelis delve into the important topic of self-worth. Distinguishing it from self-esteem, they explore the enduring, inherent value each person holds regardless of external achievements, failures, or relationships. The conversation unpacks how life experiences and traumas, including sexual betrayal, shape our perceptions of self-worth and the conclusions we draw about ourselves. Through personal stories, professional insights, and actionable steps, Dr. Skinner and MaryAnn guide listeners on a journey to reclaim their intrinsic value. They emphasize that our worth is immutable, present from birth, and encourage self-compassion, reflection, and connection as pathways to healing and growth.  

The episode also introduces five key steps to reclaiming self-worth, practical exercises for self-reflection, and the role of safe relationships in challenging and reshaping limiting beliefs. It concludes with an invitation to the upcoming Human Intimacy Conference, a two-day event offering expert guidance and resources for healing from betrayal and fostering deeper connection in relationships.  

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Key Resources Mentioned:  

1. Kristin Neff's Work on Self-Compassion: Insights on the differentiation between self-esteem and self-worth.  

Coupon Code:

Podcast50 (Individual Registration) + Access to Dr. Skinner’s 100 Day Course

Podcast100 (Couple Registration) + Access to Dr. Skinner’s 100 Day Courses for acting out and betrayed partner

5. Dr. Skinner's 100-Day Courses:  

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Action Steps for Listeners:  

This episode serves as both a practical guide and a heartfelt reminder of the unshakable worth within each of us.  

Navigating Triggers in Public Spaces:

Building Trust and Connection After Betrayal

In this the 50th episode of the Human Intimacy Podcast, Dr. Kevin Skinner and MaryAnn Michaelis delve into the challenges couples face when navigating public spaces after betrayal. They explore how hypervigilance, triggers, and the history of betrayal influence interactions in environments like malls or restaurants. The discussion highlights practical strategies to help individuals and couples create "prepared plans" for these crucial moments, allowing them to build trust and connection instead of succumbing to defensiveness or disconnection.

Key topics include:  

- Recognizing triggers and fostering self-awareness.  

This episode provides actionable insights for couples and individuals seeking to navigate the complexities of recovery and strengthen their relationships in the aftermath of betrayal.

Resources Discussed 

1. First Annual Human Intimacy Conference (March 14–15, 2025)  

Use Coupon codes:

2. Books & Authors Mentioned:  

3. Recovery Tools: