The Mark Groves Podcast

This week I am so excited to have on the incredible Damona Hoffman to chat about all things dating! Damona is a dating coach & TV personality who starred in the A+E Networks' series #BlackLove and A Question of Love. She’s a contributor for CNN Headline News (HLN), BET.com, The Washington Post, LA Times, Match dating app and more.

In this episode we dive into dating apps, intentional dating, and dating within integrity. Damona gives us tips on what should be on your dating profile, what shouldn't, and some examples of red flags and green flags to look out for while you're swiping. The dating world has shifted so much and Damona challenges us to question the beliefs and stigmas we've been taught, and the restrictions we place on what we want in a partner. This one is fire!!

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Discover:

Dating is an amazing healing opportunity

Why dating apps work great and why they don't

Dating app #fails

The three C's you need on your dating app

Why we have to assess our belief systems and upper limits in dating

Is your past part of your story or part of your narrative?

Miracles happen when we choose to be uncomfortable

Dating during Covid

Why skipping steps will implode your dating life

Holding the bar for yourself vs. the "fine" approach

Find more about Damona and her podcast on her website www.datesandmates.com.

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Dr. Susan David, Ph.D. is one of the world’s leading management thinkers and an award-winning Harvard Medical School psychologist. Dr. Susan David is a sought-after speaker, author and researcher with a deep focus on emotions. 

In this episode we discuss some of the narratives around emotions that we've gained from society and the ways in which they are making us less healthy and contributing to a culture of toxic positivity. Susan explains how we can show up for ourselves by ending the constant struggle between how we think we should feel, and how we actually feel.

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Discover:

Why being happy all the time shrinks us

The sweet marrow of life

Emotions are not good or bad, they are there for a reason

How we should feel vs. how we DO feel

Our emotions are data but shouldn't call the shots

What is underneath the emotion?

Are you stressed or are you depleted?

What small shifts can you make to open your heart

 

You can find Susan's quiz on her website, her TED Talk here and find her bestselling book, Emotional Agility on Amazon.

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This week I've been thinking a lot about the practice of being present, sitting in stillness and really uncovering your true self. What happens when we allow ourselves to really feel? When we don't blanket our emotions, we can try to learn and grow from our sadness. We have been so dominated by a culture that praises the highs, but what would happen if we began to rejoice our setbacks and embrace the opportunity to learn from them.  

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Discover:

Why our soul gets depleted

How to witness the miraculous

Start thinking about what you think

In the stillness you find more of you

"Silence is who you are"

Why we need to come back to the connection of the earth

Why grief is the path to answers

Why presence gets us there faster

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This week I am joined by Human Design Guide and Leadership Coach Erin Claire Jones. Human Design is a synthesis of ancient wisdom and modern science that sheds light on a person’s energetic makeup, as well as specific tools they can use to live at their happiest, healthiest, highest potential. It teaches people about themselves so they can have a better understanding of why they are the way they are.

In this episode, Erin walks us through the different types of Human Design and the concepts and characteristics of each type. We also review my personal Human Design and my emotional, psychological and energetic makeup.

What is human design?

The beautiful ways humans function

The difference between a generator & manifesting generator

What is a projector?

Understanding the different ways we make decisions

Identity, emotions, processing, and holding on to things

The shadow side of human design

What is at the core of it all

You can find Erin on Instagram or head to her website to book a session or look up your design www.erinclairejones.com. To get access to your own Blueprint head here and use code CREATETHELOVE for 10% off.

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Giacomo Gianniotti is an actor, writer, director, and philanthropist most recently known for his role as Dr. Deluca on Greys Anatomy.

In this episode Giacomo and I have an encompassing conversation on humility, relationships, and conflict. Giacomo walks us through his relational experiences, and his personal growth from therapy and vulnerability. We touch on sincerity, the art of apologizing, and the importance of asking for what you need. 

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Discover:

The power of vulnerability, listening, sincerity and humility in relationships

When you finally learn how to listen, your conversations will change

Owning our sh*t will take us further than we realize

The stages of relationship and becoming a better human

The hard realizations of "recovering defenders"

Why can't people apologize and the connection to worth

The five love languages

Toxic shame and divorce

Find Giacomo on instagram at @giacomo_gianniotti and in his 1st feature film entitled “Acquainted” on Apple TV.

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Navigating heartbreak can often feel insurmountable. But what if we used it as fuel to become our highest self? What if in each heartbreak we asked ourselves "how do I learn from the lesson that broke my heart?" Learning how to open our hearts in a space that feels safe after heartbreak is one of the biggest lessons we can learn. If we continue to ask ourselves "how can I be better?" Then when we begin to implement those changes, we begin to curate a life aligned in integrity and our highest values.

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Discover:

Do not shrink. The world needs you fully alive.

A closed heart is broken, and a broken heart is open

Why we need to stay in the space of feeling it all

Who do you want to be? What legacy do you want to leave?

What are your top 3 values you want to live by?

Don't wait until you have to, do it because you choose to

 

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I am so excited and honoured to welcome one of my absolute dream guests - the incredible Dr. Harriet Lerner this week. Dr Lerner is best known for her scholarly work on the psychology of women and family relationships and is also a best selling author, speaker and teacher. Her incredible books including The Dance of Anger, The Dance of Intimacy and Why Won't You Apologize have completely transformed my life and the way I relate.

In this episode, Dr. Lerner walks us through the 7 steps on how to find courage and use your voice. Each step arms us with the tools to converse effectively and to distinguish between real feelings and our pure anxiety driven reactivity. You won't want to miss this!

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Discover:

Why do we self-abandon?

Difficult conversations with difficult people

How to have courage and make life changing moves in relationships

What over-explaining yourself means and what to do about it

Strike while the iron is COLD

Defensiveness, stonewalling, criticism and shutting down

Self-worth and the connection to apology

LDD - Listening Deficit Disorder

What is defensive listening?

Respect for differences vs. right or wrong

Boundaries vs. bottom line position

You can learn more about Dr. Lerner on her website https://www.harrietlerner.com/ and on Instagram and Facebook. You can also find her TED talk here: http://www.tedxkc.org/harriet-lerner/. 

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This week I have the honour of speaking with the brilliant Allyson Byrd. In this episode, we dive into all things entrepreneurship, personal and professional expansion, spirituality, and how it pertains to our growth, success, and goals. Words don't do this one justice - listen in!

Allyson Byrd is also known as the “Profit Accelerator™ and she is celebrated as one of the world's most trusted leadership advisors and sales experts for entrepreneurs and small business owners. Learn more about Allyson at www.allysonbyrd.com or on Instagram @iamallysonbyrd. You can also find more about Allyson's journey to success in her latest collaboration with Amazon Prime called SpeakUP.

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Discover:

What are you DONE doing?

What are you ready to give birth to?

Our spirit loves the "bounce back"

Why we need to focus on return me vs. change me

We came here to be an answer

The cult of "average"

What is survivor's remorse?

What are you tolerating in your life?

When you know you have to say yes

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This week, one of my favourite people and dear friends Sheleana Aiyana joins us for a super juicy conversation on all things relationships. Shay is the founder and visionary of Rising Woman. Through a traumatic childhood, addiction and abuse, Shay found her way to the inner-work and Rising Woman was born. Rising Woman is a reflection of her mission to support others in embracing their shadows and finding their light within.

This week we chat about how relationships are never really the fairytale that Hollywood has portrayed them to be... Shay explains that healthy conscious relationships require work, healing of our inner child and that we must enter into them knowing that we are complete on our own. We talk about what a healthy relationship truly looks like, and how we can rise up from the rock bottom of heartbreak and ask, "how did I get here and what has it taught me?"

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Discover:

Taking responsibility for our pain and how it shows up in relationships

If your wounding occurs in relationship, that's where you must heal it

Why we keep repeating our patterns along our journey

What happens when you create more love and safety within yourself

If you don't recognize your wholeness you will seek someone else to complete you

The choice of fracturing vs. deepening the relationship

Find Shay and her community on Instagram @risingwoman or online at www.risingwoman.com. 

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My dear friend Jules Webber is back this week for a deep dive into the concepts of codependence, over-functioning and under-functioning. Jules walks us through what it means to be an over-functioner, and gives concrete examples from her own journey through life to help us understand this complex topic. Jules arms us with the tools to heal and move forward more balanced. Jules teaches us to embrace rather than ignore our triggers, and learn how we can better parent those reactions and condition ourselves to respond in a healthier way.

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Discover:

Signs you're over-functioning

Why we make excuses to justify someone not texting us back

What would happen if we left someone love us?

Where does over-functioning come from?

Over-functioning is a tool for manipulation

What over-functioning looks like in marriage and dating

The history and economic purpose of marriage

The impact social media has on our mental health

What happens when you choose yourself at the cost of belonging

Rage is a call to justice.

Anger is there to give you the energy you need to honor your boundaries

Jules Webber is an Intimacy and Life Coach who helps women go within, nurture an intimate and loving relationship with themselves, and experience true Wholeness and belonging. Find her on instagram @jules.webber or on her website at www.juleswebber.com.

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